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January 17, 2019 By Castimonia

A Healthy Regret

There is an old story about the time Emperor Frederick the Great visited Potsdam Prison. He spoke with the prisoners, and each man claimed to be innocent, a victim of the system. One man, however, sat silently in the corner.

The ruler asked him, “And you, sir, who do you blame for your sentence?”

His response was, “Your majesty, I am guilty and richly deserve my punishment.” Surprised, the emperor shouted for the prison warden: “Come and get this man out of here before he corrupts all these innocent people.”

The ruler can set us free once we admit we are wrong.

We do ourselves no favors in justifying our deeds or glossing over our sins. When my daughter Andrea was five or six, she got a splinter in her finger. I took her to the restroom and set out some tweezers, ointment, and a Band-Aid.

She didn’t like what she saw. “I just want the Band-Aid, Daddy”

Sometimes we are just like Andrea. We come to Christ with our sin, but all we want is a covering. We want to skip the treatment. We want to hide our sin. And one wonders if God, even in his great mercy, will heal what we conceal. “If we say we have no sin, we are fooling ourselves, and the truth is not in us. But if we confess our sins, he will forgive our sins, because we can trust God to do what is right” (1 John 1:8–9).

Going to God is not going to Santa Claus. A child sits on the chubby lap of Ol’ Saint Nick, and Santa pinches the youngster’s cheek and asks, “Have you been a good little girl?”

“Yes,” she giggles. Then she tells him what she wants and down she bounds. It’s a game. It’s childish. No one takes Santa’s question seriously. That may work in a department store, but it won’t work with God.

How can God heal what we deny? How can God touch what we cover up? How can we have communion while we keep secrets? How can God grant us pardon when we won’t admit our guilt?

Ahh, there’s that word: guilt. Isn’t that what we avoid? Guilt. Isn’t that what we detest? But is guilt so bad? What does guilt imply if not that we know right from wrong, that we aspire to be better than we are, that we know there is a high country and we are in the low country. That’s what guilt is: a healthy regret for telling God one thing and doing another.

Guilt is the nerve ending of the heart. It yanks us back when we are too near the fire. Godly sorrow “makes people change their hearts and lives. This leads to salvation, and you cannot be sorry for that” (2 Cor. 7:10).

To feel guilt is no tragedy; to feel no guilt is.

Today’s devotional is drawn from Max Lucado’s Next Door Savior.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, alcoholic, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, trauma

January 13, 2019 By Castimonia

Men of the Bible – Noah

Noah

His name means: “To Rest”

His work: We don’t know what Noah did for a living before he heard from God, but following that encounter, he became an accomplished carpenter. His character: Noah was a righteous man, obedient and faithful. His sorrow: In spite of his admonitions and warnings, Noah was unable to convince his neighbors, friends, and extended family to repent. As a result, they were all drowned in the flood. His triumph: Noah’s obedience saved not only his life but the lives of his wife and children. Key Scriptures: Genesis 6-7

A Look at the Man

Once in a while a man comes along who’s not afraid to obey.

We cannot imagine what it must have been like to be Noah. He lived in a culture that was corrupted by immorality and violence. According to the story, the earth was literally “full” of it.

So reprehensible were people’s lives that God regretted having created these divine image-bearers. So much so that he decided to remove every living thing from the face of the earth, like a man clearing a table with the back of his hand. Can you imagine?

But on his way to starting all over again, the Lord looked at Noah. His life was so exemplary that in the middle of all this debauchery, he found favor in God’s eyes. This man, Noah, was righteous and blameless among the people of his time. Because of his faithfulness, he was the one man whom the Lord chose not to destroy.

We don’t have to look very far to find a lesson in this man’s life. Like Noah’s culture, the one that surrounds us is drowning in immorality, corruption, and violence. And like Noah, we can choose to quietly capitulate or to stand against it. Once we decide to stand firm—to live in obedience to God—the tricky part comes with trying to understand how. What does submission to him look like? And what should we expect as the result of this obedience?

Tucked away in this story is the secret to Noah’s success. Noah walked with God. For Noah, surrender was not a single decision or noteworthy event; it was a process. A routine. A journey. A walk. Obedience was the natural result of this methodical approach. Walking with God meant knowing him. Knowing God meant loving him. Loving meant hearing. Hearing, obeying.

And obeying God meant salvation.

We can imagine that decades of subtle and overt ridicule may have led Noah to question God. There had to have been moments of loneliness and genuine doubt. But taking one step at a time along the path God had laid out for him kept Noah on track.

Noah’s obedience led to the preservation of not only his own life, but of the lives of his wife and children. Once the project was complete and everyone around him had rejected the notion that God would actually destroy the earth with a catastrophic flood, Noah and his whole family entered the safety of the ark. Then the Lord shut him in. Noah’s obedience not only led to the preservation of his own life but the lives of his wife and children.

In fact, Noah’s faithfulness—in the form of a great ark—became one of the early church’s symbols for refuge. The interiors of many great cathedrals were built to resemble the inside of a boat—a shelter in the time of storm, a reminder of an obedient man who went before us and was saved.

Reflect On: Genesis 8 Praise God: For using his followers to accomplish his purposes. Offer Thanks: For God’s mercy toward the human race. Confess: Any tendency to care more about what the world thinks of you than about what God thinks. Ask God: To show you what it means, not just to obey a set of laws, but to stay close to him throughout your life—to walk with him.

Today’s reading is a brief excerpt from Men of the Bible: A One-Year Devotional Study of Men in Scripture by Ann Spangler and Robert Wolgemuth (Zondervan). © 2010 by Ann Spangler. Used with permission. All rights reserved. Enjoy the complete book by purchasing your own copy at the Bible Gateway Store. The book’s title must be included when sharing the above content on social media.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, alcoholic, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, trauma

January 9, 2019 By Castimonia

Get Some Sleep

Get Some Sleep

“So don’t worry about tomorrow, because tomorrow will have its own worries. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” – Matt. 6:34

Easy to say. Not always easy to do, right? We are so prone to worry. Just last night I was worrying in my sleep. I dreamed that I was diagnosed with ALS, a degenerative muscle disease, which took the life of my father. I awakened from the dream and, right there in the middle of the night, began to worry. Then Jesus’ words came to my mind: “Don’t worry about tomorrow.” And for once, I decided not to. I dropped the burlap sack. After all, why let tomorrow’s imaginary problem rob tonight’s rest? Can I prevent the disease by staying awake? Will I postpone the affliction by thinking about it? Of course not. So I did the most spiritual thing I could have done. I went back to sleep.

Why don’t you do the same? God is leading you. Leave tomorrow’s problems until tomorrow.

Arthur Hays Sulzberger was the publisher of the New York Times during the Second World War. Because of the world conflict, he found it almost impossible to sleep. He was never able to banish worries from his mind until he adopted as his motto these five words — “one step enough for me” — taken from the hymn “Lead Kindly Light.”

Lead, kindly Light …
Keep Thou my feet; I do not ask to see
The distant scene; one step enough for me.

God isn’t going to let you see the distant scene either. So you might as well quit looking for it. He promises a lamp unto our feet, not a crystal ball into the future. We do not need to know what will happen tomorrow. We only need to know he leads us and “we will find grace to help us when we need it” (Heb. 4:16 NLT).

Today’s devotional is drawn from Max Lucado’s Next Door Savior.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, alcohol, alcoholic, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, trauma

January 1, 2019 By Castimonia

Is Self-Care Selfish?

SOURCE:  Taken from the Prepare-Enrich Newsletter

Spoiler Alert:  It’s Not!

 Self-care is taking time to care for yourself in whatever what makes sense for you. We often overlook self-care by thinking that it’s something only selfish people do and isn’t that important. However, the more I intentionally practice self-care, the more I see the positive impact on my relationship and I know it’s not a selfish act. Most importantly, I’ve found it allows me to be more present in my relationships because I took the time to make myself feel whole.

The problem with the idea of your partner being your “other half” is that you are unable to invest any part of yourself into your relationship if you aren’t whole. By reframing my thoughts around self-care, how loving and appreciating myself can create a stronger connection in my relationship, I have been able to overcome the negative stigma of “selfish self-care.” It’s important for me to take care for myself for mine and my partner’s sake.

Why Does Self-Care Matter

  • Increases your emotional/mental well-being
  • Allots time for you to take care of your physical self
  • Gives you the energy to care for others
  • Feeling positive about yourself gives you a better outlook on your relationship and life in general

How to Practice Self-Care

Simply take time to do something you enjoy, something that feeds your soul and inspires you. Here are some ideas:

  • Journal – write down your daily thoughts in the morning or at night
  • Volunteer – give back to others using your talents
  • Cook – develop a new recipe, make your favorite dinner
  • Be creative – draw, write, rearrange your living room
  • Pamper yourself – get your hair cut, take a long shower, get a massage
  • Spend time with family – look at old family photos, play a game
  • Go outside – take a walk, jog, or go for a run
  • Be active – go to the gym, practice yoga
  • Eat what you want – drink water, eat your veggies, and eat your cake too (in moderation)
  • Sleep – go to bed early, allow yourself to sleep in, take a nap

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, alcoholic, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, trauma

December 28, 2018 By Castimonia

Scripture Memory: Tips and Tricks

by Kevin Miller

POP QUIZ:

What does the fox say?

What’s your favorite line from your favorite TV show?

What’s the first line that pops into your head from your favorite movie?

What words come to your mind next when you read “R-E-S-P-E-C-T” or “Can’t stop the feelin'”?

Ironically, the same person who could rattle off their 16-digit credit card number, can quote almost any line from their favorite movie, and knows most of the lyrics to Taylor Swift’s “Shake It Off” may also be the same person who tells me they can’t memorize Scripture.

I disagree.

As we’ve rolled out of one year into the next, I’ve been posting a series of blogs about the practical side of spiritual disciplines. So far, we’ve covered Bible reading and prayer. Today we’re covering the topic of Scripture memory…

Let’s start with why it’s so important.

THE PURPOSE

The Bible says to.

That should be enough of a reason right there.

But this isn’t just a case of “Do it because I said to.” The Bible gives a deeper, more practical reason to do so: “I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.” (Psalm 119:11)

Scripture memory is sin prevention.

Psalm 119 makes it very clear. Temptation prevention begins with Scripture memory. The question is not if you’ll be tempted, but when. Since temptation has happened and will continue to happen every day of your life…

You need to be stocked up.

In many Bible translations, Psalm 119 says “hide God’s Word in my heart.” However, I really like the ESV’s translation of “stored up your word in my heart.” Storing up speaks of preparation.

Think of memorizing Scripture like stocking up your tool chest.

You never know what type of problem is going to come your way, and if you’re not prepared with the right tools, you won’t be able to fix it. However, if you’ve devoted time to stocking up your tool chest with the right spiritual tools, you’ll be amazed at how God uses them when problems or temptations come your way.

Memorizing Taylor Swift lyrics may help you “shake it off,” but that will only last so long!

THE PRACTICAL

If you want to know how to memorize Scripture, think about how you memorize anything else…

Inhale it.

How can my 2-year old son sing multiple verses of “Holly Jolly Christmas”? Because he heard it a couple hundred times during the month of December. So much so that he began requesting it whenever we got in the car. Spotify must think we love Burl Ives!

One of the main reasons I can quote so many lines from The Office, Tommy Boy, and Dumb & Dumber is because I can’t count the amount of times I’ve watched them. The more we take things in, the easier it becomes to commit them to memory.  (tweet this)

Scripture memory works similarly. Inhale Scripture. Not literally, but through your eyes and ears. Read it, speak it, listen to it, and meditate on it.

Prioritize it.

You won’t find time. You have to make time. There’s nothing inherently wrong with watching TV or playing video games or browsing social media, but imagine what you could do if you even cut out a small portion of the time you spend on those.

If you want to store God’s Word in your heart, it will take prioritizing God’s Word in your life. (tweet this)

Repeat it.

Although there are some things you may never forget, even if you wanted to, I’ve found that Scripture is rarely like that. If I want to make sure it’s easily accessible, I have to keep it fresh.

Sad news. I used to have a few entire books of the Bible memorized: Philippians, James, and Ephesians, and I was working on 1 Peter. I loved meditating on and storing up God’s Word in my heart, but I didn’t keep it fresh, and I lost it. Of course it isn’t a waste – I grew as I memorized, and I know those books very well today, but I wish I would have put the time in to keep them fresh in my heart.

If you don’t fight to keep it, you’ll lose it. Make it a habit to regularly freshen up so you stay sharp.

Start now.

There will always be a reason not to start, so stop making excuses and get going on this important spiritual discipline. Pick a verse, a few verses, or a chapter, and start with that. Currently, I’m 18 verses into Romans 8 and I’m loving it. It’s always been a powerful chapter, but it means even more to me now that I’ve devoted hundreds of hours to reading and memorizing it.

Relevant Magazine recently ran a great article about memorizing Scripture. Make sure to check it out: The Hardest Spiritual Discipline is the Most Important One.

Let me know in the comments if this was helpful and what you’re memorizing.

Also, if you have any helpful memory tips or tricks, I’d love to hear about them!

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, alcoholic, anonymous sex partners, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, trauma

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This site is intended for individuals who struggle with maintaining sexual purity. This information is posted for individuals at various stages in their recovery, year 1 to year 30+; what applies to some, may not apply others. Spouses are encouraged to read this blog with the caveat that they may not agree with, understand, or know the reason for some items posted. As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

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