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Stefanie Carnes Disclosure Trauma Study – SURVEY

This survey is for either the addict or spouse who have experienced a therapist-facilitated clinical disclosure.  Please click on the link below to access the survey.

Dear Community,

One more time… We need your help!  Please pass along this survey to anyone you know that has experienced a facilitated disclosure.  As of right now, we only have 35 respondents – we could use many more!  We are hoping to finish data collection soon.  Here’s some information about the survey:

We all know how critical the disclosure process is, yet we have a huge shortage in research that evaluates what makes a facilitated disclosure process successful.  I, along with my co-investigators, Justin and Heidi Monuteaux, are currently conducting a study that will help inform clinicians on how to conduct disclosure sessions that are as least traumatic as possible and can lead to a foundation from which a couple can begin to heal from sex addiction.   Given this is an area with an extreme shortage of research, every person’s input could make a big difference on how clinicians are taught and trained on best practices on how to handle disclosures.  We will be asking questions about things such as how participants were prepared, how the disclosure was facilitated, the relationship with the therapist, and their thoughts and feedback on the process.

I am attaching an informational flier that you can pass out about the study that contains information about the project and the link to the survey. Anyone who has experienced a facilitated disclosure process is eligible to take the survey.  If you have experienced a disclosure yourself, we would be grateful if you (and your partner, if applicable) would participate.
Please pass the survey along to others such as friends in recovery.  We are hoping for the largest distribution possible. This study was approved by the IRB at Northwest University.

Here is the survey link…. https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/disclosure-study

Thank you very much for your time and consideration. Kind Regards,

*Stefanie Carnes, PhD, LMFT, CSAT-S*
*President* *IITAP, LLC*
*Phone: 480-488-0150*
*E-Mail: stefanie@iitap.com <stefanie@iitap.com>*
*www.iitap.com*
*www.sexhelp.com*
*www.gentlepath.com*

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Should An Affair Be Revealed? – Part I

Castimonia recommends that disclosure of an affair (or numerous affairs) be done in the presence of a qualified therapist or counselor who can immediately assist the betrayed spouse in processing their feelings in healthy ways.  We recommend the use of the 3-day intensives offered by Comfort Christian Counseling and Hope & Freedom Counseling, both linked to the left of the page under links.

Posted by James Browning on February 25, 2013

bad20relationship20adviceGuilt sometimes sets in right after the first sexual encounter, and it continues to build as one lie is added to another. Depression follows guilt and it’s not unusual for a wayward spouse to even consider suicide as a way to escape the nightmare he or she has created. As an act of desperation, honesty is sometimes seized as a last resort, often in an effort to relieve the feelings of guilt. The revelation of an affair is very hard on an unsuspecting spouse, of course, but at the same time, it’s the first step toward marital reconciliation. Most unfaithful spouses know that their affair is one of the most heartless acts they could ever inflict on their spouse. So one of their reasons to be dishonest is to protect their spouse from emotional pain. “Why add insult to injury,” they reason. “What I did was wrong, but why put my spouse through needless pain by revealing this thoughtless act?” As is the case with bank robbers and murderers, unfaithful spouses don’t think they will ever be discovered, and so they don’t expect their unfaithfulness to hurt their spouse. But I am one of the very few that advocate the revelation of affairs at all costs, even when the wayward spouse has no feelings of guilt or depression to overcome. I believe that honesty is so essential to the success of marriage, that hiding past infidelity makes a marriage dishonest, preventing emotional closeness and intimacy. It isn’t honesty that causes the pain, it’s the affair. Honesty is simply revealing truth to the victim. Those who advocate dishonesty regarding infidelity assume that the truth will cause such irreparable harm, that it’s in the best interest of a victimized spouse to go through life with the illusion of fidelity. It’s patronizing to think that a spouse cannot bear to hear the truth. Anyone who assumes that their spouse cannot handle truth is being incredibly disrespectful, manipulative and in the final analysis, dangerous. How little you must think of your spouse when you try to protect him or her from the truth. From “Coping With Infidelity Part II” by Willard F. Harley, Jr., Ph.D
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi5060_qa.html

“To cheat oneself out of love is the most terrible deception; it is an eternal loss for which there is no reparation, either in time or in eternity.” – Soren Kierkegaard