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Fighting to Stop Porn on Library Computers

posted: October 16, 2012 by

Did you know that library organizations are fighting to provide access to internet pornography in public libraries? It’s true! The American Library Association (ALA) and the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) both fought the Children’s Internet Protection Act all the way up to the Supreme Court, and lost (thankfully).

But that doesn’t seem to stop the ALA from falsely disseminating that most pornography is “protected by the First Amendment.”

Here’s a quote from their website:

In the millions of Web sites available on the Internet, there are some—often loosely called “pornography”—that parents, or adults generally, do not want children to see. A very small fraction of those sexually explicit materials is actual obscenity or child pornography, which are not constitutionally protected. The rest, like the overwhelming majority of materials on the Internet, is protected by the First Amendment.

A small fraction of internet porn isn’t obscene? Seriously? I’d really like to know what they consider obscene. Bestiality? Violent rape scenes? Are those not obscene???

Let’s look at the ALA’s most common arguments:

  • Internet filters violate the constitutional rights of patrons.
  • Filters are tantamount to censorship.

“Nonsense!” says Patrick Trueman, President of Morality in Media, the organization which founded the Safe Schools, Safe Libraries Project. Trueman counters that “filtering software has come a long way in the last twenty years and is very effective in blocking pornography without interfering with more legitimate sites. Also, use of filters does not violate rights, as the Supreme Court has rules in upholding the Children’s Internet Protection Act.”

As far as censorship goes, all library boards make choices about what books and materials they purchase. Pornographic magazines and books are not carried in libraries, so why should libraries carry porn over the internet?

I want to make clear that librarians are not the enemy, but some have been misled by false information about the constitutionality about porn in libraries.

Here is an animated video that role plays a parent’s conversation with a librarian after seeing pornography on library computers. It’s not slick, but the dialog provides excellent information about what is legal and what is not legal in public libraries.

Click here to find more info and a downloadable “Getting Started” packet on how you can get involved in the fight for Safe and Sane Libraries in your community.

Have you ever seen pornography on a computer at your public library? Do you feel that your children are safe at your local library? I’d love to hear your comments! Leave a reply below or scroll up and click on the gray bubble to share your thoughts.

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Saturday Morning Meeting Topic – 7/13: Silent is Never Golden When it Comes to Sexual Addiction

In this Saturday’s meeting we were blessed to hear the letter written below by Keith to his now deceased younger brother. I warn group members to be mindful of heir emotions and any emotional triggers they may experience after reading this letter.

By Keith D.

This is hard to write given the circumstances.  However, I need to write if only for myself.  I hope others who are struggling with sexual addiction and who are thinking that taking one’s own life is the only option dealing with sexual addiction.

You were nine years old and in fourth grade and I was a freshman in college when the family moved to Texas.  I don’t remember a lot about you growing up except you riding your plastic snoopy and being in cub scouts as I was busy playing sports and working.

I go to meetings where there is an empty chair in the middle of the room and we talk about “our problem”.  Up until this time, the chair has been nameless and faceless to me.  However, now this particular chair does have a new name and face.  His name is Steve.  He was a father, a brother, and good friend to many.  He had an infectious smile and laugh to go along with it.

Hearing of your death came to me as a total surprise.  I started asking questions like “why” and “how come?”  I knew there were a lot of questions that there were not answers for.  I often wondered over the years if the same terrible things happened to you as a child as they did me, that is, if our neighbor sexually abused you too.  I felt we were never close enough that you would answer me honestly so I did not ask.  From the outcome of your life (i.e. being registered as a sex offender) I can only assume so.

When it comes to sexual addiction, silence is never golden!  This disease thrives in secrecy.  The only way to overcome it is to expose it and take responsibility for one’s actions, to ask God to shed His light in every dark area, and confessing your sins and weaknesses to others so you may be healed!  Pride, shame and condemnation empower this disease and has kept you in shackles for years.  It is only through humility and the Power of Jesus Christ that breaks these chains and sets one free.  For who the Lord has set free is free indeed!  I have found this freedom and wish you were here to tell you about it.

I need to ask for your forgiveness because I was not courageous enough to stand up against evil.  I did not stand up against the evil and sick things our neighbor did to me and what he may have done to you as well.  We lived in a small town and my classmates were already calling a homosexual because of my deep friendship with another male classmate.  That does not excuse my actions.  Please forgive me for being silent.  I wanted to speak up but I just couldn’t muster the courage.

The bible talks a lot about relationships. It says that “friends love at all times, but brothers were born for adversity”.  This scripture has taken on a new meaning for me.  We were born in the same family and born for adversity.  However, we never lived in the potential and relationship that God has called us.

Secondly, it says that a three-strand cord is not easily broken.  We did not have deep conversations about the Lord until just three years ago at our niece’s high school graduation.  It was the first time we talked about things that mattered in life.  And after mom had passed just a few weeks later, it was you that rose up and said not to let our relationships go by the wayside.  I was proud of you for rising up.  That is what I should have been done as an older brother, protecting and looking after my siblings as our parents have passed. 

I also know that no man lives and dies to himself.  That in both your life and death you impacted so many people.  You enjoyed life no matter what the circumstances or so it seemed as it could be seen in your smile and laugh.  If only you could have seen all the people that filled the room and all the tears that were shed.  Although you were divorced, she still called you her husband and buried you wearing your wedding band.

I wish you could have seen how hard your sixteen year old son cried after the funeral.  I cried for him knowing that this was a path you chose.  It is not the only path though however.  I found a Gentle Path and something called “Rigorous Honesty” for people like us that can help us with “our problem” and bring us back to sanity.  I wish you could have heard the anger in your boss when he spoke at your funeral as he was the one who found your limp body hanging in the air.  I have found one the only one who needed to be hung once for all, the one who died for our sins and the one who died to set us free!

There are two paths one with this sickness and disease can take.  One path leads to death, confusion, heartache and a lot of questions.  This path offers a permanent solution to a temporary problem and situation. 

As I looked at your face, I can tell you are finally now at peace.  You are no longer being tormented by the demons of addictions in your life.  However, there is peace along the other path too despite of one’s circumstances.   It is the path where you find Jesus and can share His love and compassion with others who are struggling with the same issues.  He has told us that there will be many trials and tribulations, but we can have peace in spite of our circumstances.  In fact, we can rejoice because those who truly find Him find true peace as He has already won the battle over sin and death.

The other path, although may seem insurmountable and very difficult at times, is a path you take with others.  There may be many tears on this path, but at the end this path leads to life and the crown of life as those who choose this path are over-comers by the word of our testimony and the blood of the Lamb.  I wish you were here for me to tell you of this path.

I do not know why or how we chose the paths we did.  It could have very easily been me lying there in that room.  I do know that it is only by the grace and mercy of God himself that it was not. 

When I attend the meetings from this point on, the empty chair is no longer empty.  I wish that it still was.  However, my voice will no longer be silent.  Forgive me for being silent.  Your death will not be in vain.  Silence is never golden when it comes to sexual addiction!

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Pastoral Moral Failure: All Too Common

Pastoral Moral Failure: All Too Common
By prevailing word ministries
December 2, 2012

Alas, another pastor that love and possibly, worship sex more than loving God and maintaining the sanctity of his call to the ministry.

Like many of us, we ruin ourselves in secret before we are exposed. In a chapter in my book called Secret Sexual Sins, there is a chapter called, “Come Clean. Or Be Exposed!” This is what the Lord said to me before I repented.

There are many pastors that live secret lives. Let me reiterate a statistic. There are over 300,000 churches in the United States. 50% of pastors struggle with porn. That means 150,000 churches have pastors that are living in Secret Sexual Sins.

I was one of those pastors until December, 2008.

My friend, Pastor DL Foster posted about another pastor falling (courtesy of Charisma.com) because of Secret Sexual Sins.

You can read the article by clicking this link.

http://www.charismanews.com/us/34772-pastor-isaac-hunter-admits-to-adultery-with-former-stafferavailable

A few of us pastors agree. It is now a regular occurrence. It’s been 4 years since the Lord delivered me from porn and self gratification, commonly called masturbation.

Why do I mention this?

Few articles really get to the nitty gritty of a pastor’s Secret Sexual Sins. Many of you are so stunned when you read of a married pastor, with children, committing adultery, but rarely do we discover the fuel of adultery. Rightfully so, Pastor Foster points out that the root cause is the undisciplined pastor’s heart, also known as the fruit of the Spirit, called “self control,” as the root cause of moral failure.

What goes undetected is the Secret Sexual Sins occurring in the life of a pastor. The discovery of adultery is just the exposure of a deeper problem that rarely is discussed.

Porn and masturbation in the life of a pastor.

The other two things that is not noted is the sexual immoral woman that the book of Proverbs speaks of, and the wife, and kids affected by this momentary laps of judgment.

We are to avoid the sexually immoral women like the plague. Now, not every woman is sexually immoral, but there are predator pastors that take advantage of emotionally unstable women in church.

Then again, there are women that strategically, and deliberately intend to use their femininity to secure the love of a pastor. Not to mention that there are Jezebels on assignment to sexually sacrifice their body for church power.

In Dr. Betty Price’s book “A Warning To Ministers, Their Wives, and Their Mistresses,” she warned of the constant battle in the local church of pastors seeking illicit sex from women in and outside the church. In her book, she pointed out that there are many women that intentionally hunt down pastors. Sitting in the front row to intentionally get the pastor’s attention, sexually, in no uncertain terms, is one of the main ploys of sexually immoral women. In one instance, Dr. Betty Price told of a story of a woman that went right into Dr. Fred Price’s office on pretense of receiving pastoral counseling, and straight up solicited him for sex. Because of Dr. Fred Price’s spiritual discipline, being strong in spirit, he resisted her temptations.

That’s why as a rule for me, I never counsel women, and I never counsel women alone. I’d rather lose them to another church and pastor than to risk any appearance of evil. Suit yourselves but I refuse to counsel women alone. Brothers, you are not that strong and you should never fool yourself.

Dr. Betty Price shared that those that successfully engage a weak willed pastor, were mesmerized by the “anointing” on a pastor’s life and Dr. Betty Price indicates that this is the one thing that attracts women to a pastor. After these women have sex with a single or married pastor that one time, that mesmerization departs.

They are no longer infatuated with that anointed man of God.

But as with all women, connection and then to disconnect, unless you are a harlot, is not that easy. Dr. Betty Price counseled several women, caught in the web of sexual sins to leave that preacher. And they do not. Churches are left with a house of harlots with the pastor as the head pimp.

In the book, “Betrayal Of Trust,” the introduction in the book speaks of a Brooklyn, NY pastor in Brooklyn Heights, in the late 1890′s was accused of adultery. The woman lost her husband and it’s been a she said he said kind of issue. After accusations when flying, and a church meeting, the church sided in with the pastor that nothing went on. They swept the issue under the rug. And this is the long standing policy of churches. That when someone is verifiably caught or if there is a hint of sexual immorality, the issue is swept under the rug. The pastor remains in the pulpit and everything is “hunky-dory.”

Getting back to the book, one of the most outstanding observations is that pastors that are caught in the act of adultery are either predators or wanderers.

A predator is one that sexually hunts for one woman after another. No different than a serial rapist. Then the wanderer is one that strays from his wife for a one night stand. But even as a wanderer, solicitation of multiple prostitutes is part of a wanderer until it enters sexual addiction level three where the criminal element heightens the orgasmic experience. That criminal element involves being a serial rapist to child porn, to child homosexuality.

But few look behind the scene and discover a pastor’s secret life of porn and masturbation.

In the above story by Charisma, it may be possible that Pastor Hunter may not have been involved in porn and masturbation. We do not have the facts regarding this. But we know that in most cases, acting out has a starting point. And it usually is porn and masturbation.

The Lord Jesus reveals Secret Sexual Sins when a man looks at a women to lust after her, that he committed adultery with her in his heart (see Matthew 5:27-28).

In Dr. Patrick Carnes’ cycle of addiction, it all begins with “thoughts or fantasies.”  Then it goes to ritual. Then it goes to “acting out.” Then it goes to “remorse.”

I mentioned this because the top of sexual addiction begins with thoughts and fantasies. I will point out that not every one is sexually addicted.

Sexual addiction is the inability to control, manage, or stop yourself from sex or masturbation.

When you cannot stop looking at a woman sexually, it is lust and it is adultery. Job 31:1 says, “I have made covenant with my eyes, why would I look on a handmaiden?”

When a man cannot stop looking lustfully at a woman, this is where the core or root problem is (see James 1:14-15). The lack of discipline in this regard is 100% behind pastoral moral failure. It is indicative of a lack of intimacy in prayer with God. The late Dr. Ed Cole, the father of the modern day men’s movement with the Christian Men’s Network, said, “Prayer produces intimacy with God.”

E. M. Bounds said, “A prayerless pulpit begets a prayerless pew.”

Preachers can act out ministerial at the drop of a hat. You can’t fool your way through prayer.

It’s the same with singing for God, or being a music minister for God, or being a church secretary for a pastor.

He is not the first and he certainly won’t be the last. With immorality overrunning the church where the demonic LGBT agenda is being swallowed whole by sinning pastors, helping to cause the church to renounce the righteousness of God, the more pastors fail the standard, the argument from the world holds a form of truth.

We are hypocrites.

Finally, the wife and kids affected by the adulterous pastor. It is clear that betrayal on this level has brought embarrassment and confusion to his family. The wife in the moment loses her self esteem, dignity, and honor. It will take time to ask God for grace to get through the initial and long term affects of her husband’s foolish act of sexual pleasure.

The wife will experience the devil bringing a lot of questions to her mind. The devil with suggest to her that she is not as beautiful as the secretary or porn stars he’s been watching. The devil will suggest to her that her bedroom inadequacy and unavailability for sex was due to her increased workload was the cause. The devil will bring up past arguments that led to a husband’s cold shoulder.

And more things like God is not going to repair the marriage. That God doesn’t love her. And on and on. But this is the moment where whatever is brought to your mind, is to be refuted by the Word of God. She will need to confide in another woman of God, in a safe environment, that will objectively deal with her in a compassionate manner. The road to her healing is long and difficult. At this stage, it is recommended that difficult decisions be put off and just get through the moment of the infidelity with the grace and love of God.

The kids need to be told the truth, depending upon their ages. They must understand that what their daddy did was sin and that it wasn’t in God’s plan. That sexual sin is of the devil. If at all possible, they need to be cared for while the process is ongoing. They must experience some semblance of normalcy as possible. Professional Christian help is available and should be sought as reasonably quick as possible.

It’s not the end and God’s grace can get you through the moments. Wives that experience this horrendous act must never place blame on themselves. They must get through the moment and allow God to work with them where they are.

Church. Let’s do a better job in our sanctification. Let’s get closer to God in prayer and obedience to the Word.

This does not have to be common.

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[Revealed] How Porn Affects Marriages

[Revealed] How Porn Affects Marriages
by evictrapeafrica
http://evictrapeafrica.wordpress.com/2012/10/24/revealed-how-porn-affects-marriages/

Hello buddies! It’s another great time to share some drinks over some real issues. As i said in one of my previous posts, the purpose of discussing pornography on this blog is because it’s been postulated to have links with the unbridled sexual passion that drive many men crazy.

You can check up our archives to catch up with the posts issues on this series. I remember hearing a married man say that he has bought a couple of porn videos to watch with his wife so as to boost her declining libido. Is this really a remedy? Does porn really help to spice up the sex life of couples? We will find out right now. Just as I have been doing so far on this series, I will show you empirical data obtained from thorough research and surveys:

According to the Journal of Adolescent Health, prolonged exposure to pornography leads to:

  • An exaggerated perception of sexual activity in society
  • Diminished trust between intimate couples
  • The abandonment of the hope of sexual monogamy
  • Belief that promiscuity is the natural state
  • Belief that abstinence and sexual inactivity are unhealthy
  • Cynicism about love or the need for affection between sexual partners
  • Belief that marriage is sexually confining
  • Lack of attraction to family and child-raising

According to sociologist Jill Manning, the research indicates pornography consumption is associated with the following six trends, among others:

1. Increased marital distress, and risk of separation and divorce 2. Decreased marital intimacy and sexual satisfaction 3. Infidelity 4. Increased appetite for more graphic types of pornography and sexual activity associated with abusive, illegal or unsafe practices 5. Devaluation of monogamy, marriage and child rearing 6. An increasing number of people struggling with compulsive and addictive sexual behavior

A press release from the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (divorce lawyers) reported that the most salient factors present in divorce cases are as follows:

68% of the divorces involved one party meeting a new lover over the Internet. 56% involved one party having “an obsessive interest in pornographic websites.” 47% involved spending excessive time on the computer. 33% involved excessive time spent speaking in chat rooms. In 2003, a Focus on the Family poll showed 47% percent of families said pornography is a problem in their home.

In 2004, 42% of surveyed adults indicated that their partner’s use of pornography made them feel insecure, and 41% admitted that they felt less attractive due to their partner’s pornography use.

A brief survey on the effects of cybersex shows how wives of porn users develop deep psychological wounds, reporting feelings of betrayal, loss, depression, mistrust, devastation, anger, and sexual inadequacy. The same survey shows more than half of those engaged in cybersex lost interest in sexual intercourse, and one third of their partners lost interest as well

“I have also seen in my clinical experience that pornography damages the sexual performance of the viewers. Pornography viewers tend to have problems with premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction. Having spent so much time in unnatural sexual experiences with paper, celluloid and cyberspace, they seem to find it difficult to have sex with a real human being. Pornography is raising their expectation and demand for types and amounts of sexual experiences; at the same time it is reducing their ability to experience sex.” (Dr. MaryAnne Layden)

“Should pornography sufficiently arouse a biologically determined male predisposition for polygamy, then its informational system may be contributing to contemporary male frustration and even aggressiveness toward the female in general and monogamous patterns of sexuality in particular. It may be argued that if the visual data of pornography encourages distrust of female sexual fidelity and a distorted perception of female personhood, such data could encourage disdain and/or animosity toward heterosexual comradeship and the value of such comradeship for individual and social solvency.”

MY THOUGHTS:

I guess you read through the statistics very well. Apparently, porn hasn’t helped any marriage neither in sexual performance nor in companionship. It rather impedes sexual performance and destroys the marital union. Porn makes its users burn with so much sexual passion but when it gets to the time to ‘do the thing’, their performance is almost equal to zero.

As we have seen also, pornography has been found to be connected to the high divorce rate observed in our times.

Pornography obviously has not done us much good. Don’t you think? Share your thoughts with me if you have a contrary view or an additional point to add.

We still have alot more to share on this series. We will definitely share some helpful tips with people who wanna break free from porn.

QUESTION: What suggestions would you offer a woman whose husband is hooked to porn and online sex merchants that he no more enjoys sex with her and this has left their matrimony at the verge of a break up?

I will be expecting your answers. Thank you for stopping by.

For a better world,

TeeKay

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I Lied to My Wife, Now What?

I Lied to My Wife, Now What?
by Jeff Fisher on October 21, 2012
http://porntopurity.com/blog/2012/10/21/i-lied-to-my-wife-now-what/

So what are you going to do now?

What do you think you ought to do?  Do you feel bad about it?  Are you trying to avoid the thought about it and put it in the past?

Maybe you think, “I’ll feel bad about it today, but I’m going to do some good things for my wife and make up for it.  Then I won’t feel so bad.”

Or you think if you push it away you’ll feel less guilty about it tomorrow.  Has that been your strategy?

Maybe you don’t think it really matters.  It’s not that big of a deal.  She probably lied about things too.  I’ve done a lot worse things in the past.

Or the most popular thought:  “I know if I tell the truth it’s going to make things worse.  It’s better to lie and not tell her.”

These are all rationalizations.

WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT LYING ISN’T THAT IMPORTANT Your beliefs about lying and experiences are not nearly as important as what God’s Word says.

Ephesians 4:25 Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one body.

Proverbs 12:22 The LORD detests lying lips, but he delights in men who are truthful.

Psalm 51:6 Surely you desire truth in the inner parts ; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.

Can you see the simplicity of these?  Telling the truth is even the goal of one of the 10 Commandments:

Exodus 20:16 You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.

Eliminate the question of “Does God think it’s OK?”  The answer:  no.

God wants you to be truthful.  He is Truth.  Any lie or cover-up is an affront to God’s standards, as well as your covenant with your wife.

WHAT DO I DO NOW?

I can’t tell you exactly how you need to confess to your wife, but here are some good principles:

  1. Have THAT conversation with your spouse – Confess.  Be truthful.  It sucks, it’s hard, but it’s necessary for intimacy, closeness, connection and knowing each other.  Stop rationalizing.  Man up and own it!
  2. Or have THAT conversation with a counselor first – If there are patterns of lying, deep sexual sin, or adultery involved you probably need to talk to a counselor first.  They’re wise and have tools to help you.
  3. Work toward full disclosure – You might think it’s easier to share a part, let your wife recover, then share more.  Not wise!  A friend of mine calls this “Death by 1000 Needles”.  It’s better to have one big disclosure than 60 mini disclosures.  Your wife will wonder, “What else is he not telling me about?” so it’s best to get it all out. (The leaders of Castimonia recommend a full disclosure through a 3-day intensive program. – See links to the left for two programs approved by the leaders of Castimonia.)
  4. Don’t be defensive – Don’t rationalize your lies or push the blame on your wife.  Take responsibility and own it.
  5. Answer your wife’s questions – It’s her turn to understand and make sense out of this.  She needs to know how much you were involved in (breath) and how deeply were you involved in your sins (depth). It’s not usually necessary or productive to share the “nitty gritty details”, but let a counselor help with this.
  6. Give her space to be angry – To most wives, the deception and the hiding are worse than the actions themselves.  Give her room and time to process her feelings.
  7. Don’t school your wife on how she needs to react and feel – You’re best bet is to shut up, listen and pray.  Any feelings that come out now are good.  If they don’t come out, they will be bottled up and explode later in your relationship.
  8. Work on your part – You can control your actions and your reactions.  Stick to these.  It’s one way you can show love to your wife.
  9. Follow-up – Be a man and lead the way in rebuilding trust and building your relationship.  She may have other feelings to get out.  You and she may need to see the counselor together.  There is always follow up to a confession.

–

Jeff Fisher is a blogger and podcaster living in Raleigh, North Carolina.  He and his wife run www.porntopurity.com.  Jeff’s podcast Top Tips For Sexual Purity Podcast (I-Tunes) is one of the more popular podcasts on sexual addiction recovery.

You can reach Jeff at jeff@porntopurity.com