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father wound

March 21, 2014 By Castimonia

The Best Way

internet-addiction-depressionThe best way to deal with any kind of addiction is to seek the help of a qualified therapist. Neither sex addiction nor porn addiction is considered an official mental disorder, but they are compulsions that can have serious effects on one’s sexuality and can be detrimental to social functioning. Any decent therapist, psychologist or psychiatrist will recognize this and be able to provide you with tools to reduce your dependency on pornography. There is a variety of software available that can filter out certain content from the internet before it gets to your computer. These filters are usually used to prevent explicit content, including pornography, from reaching the innocent eyes of children, but they can have applications for the porn addict too. Of course, it’s easy to disable your own filters, but simply having them in place may provide enough of a deterrent when you’re craving a porn fix. There is also keylogger software that will track every move you make on the internet and even accountability software that will not only track your internet activity, but will also send a weekly report to your “accountability partner” to keep them up to speed on the sites you’re visiting. For most of us, viewing pornography is an occasional guilty pleasure. But for those who are driven to use porn constantly, it can represent a genuine mental, emotional and physical trap. With a combination of therapy, internet filters, affirmations, accountability, and research, it can be overcome.
http://www.askmen.com/dating/love_tip_400/404_love_tip.html

“The priority of any addict is to anesthetize the pain of living to ease the passage of day with some purchased relief.” – Russell Brand

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, christian, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, STD, trauma

March 19, 2014 By Castimonia

Lawrence Taylor Jr. Charged With Statutory Rape

Like father, like son….  Men, if you have children, don’t let them grow up to follow in your addiction-filled footsteps.  Do something about it, fight the fight on a daily basis!  If not, your children will grow up to be like you, or marry someone like you.

LTjrLawrence Julius Taylor Jr., the 31-year-old son of Pro Football Hall of Famer Lawrence Taylor, has been arrested in Georgia on felony criminal charges of statutory rape, aggravated child molestation and aggravated sodomy in connection with alleged sexual assaults on two juvenile females, according to police.

The arrest/booking report on the website of the Cobb County Sheriff’s Office says Taylor Jr. was arrested Sunday by police in Power Springs, Ga. He was being held without bond in the Cobb County Adult Detention Center in Marietta, Ga.

In a statement, the Power Springs Police Department said detectives interviewed the two females who made the allegations.

“One juvenile alleged that a sexual assault occurred on (July 6) at Taylor’s Power Springs residence. Another juvenile alleged consensual sexual contact with Taylor in early 2012,” said the police statement.

The Cobb County District Attorney’s Office said the maximum penalties, if convicted, are 25 years to life for aggravated sodomy, 25 years to life for aggravated child molestation and 10-to-20 years for statutory rape.

The son gave the presentation speech in 1999 when his father was inducted into the Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio.  “If I could pick anybody to be my father, I would pick Lawrence Taylor every time. Me and my father have a good relationship,” he said in his speech.

Lawrence Taylor, now 54, played with the NFL’s New York Giants from 1981-93 and was named to the Pro Bowl 10 times. He helped the Giants win two Super Bowls.

In January of 2011, the father (also named Lawrence Julius Taylor) pleaded guilty in New York to sexual misconduct and patronizing a 16-year-old prostitute. The misdemeanor charges carried no jail time, but Taylor was sentenced to six years’ probation and required to register as a sex offender.

Before the plea deal, Taylor had pleaded not guilty to third-degree rape, patronizing a prostitute, sexual abuse and endangering a child. Taylor had been arrested in May of 2010 for allegedly paying $300 to have sex with a 16-year-old girl at a hotel in suburban New York City. At the time of his plea deal, Taylor said in court the alleged victim told him she was 19.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, christian, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, trauma

March 3, 2014 By Castimonia

Dr. Benjamin Carson: Same-Sex Marriage and the correlation between Homosexuality, Pedophilia, and Bestiality

Some of the views posted in this article are not those of the leaders of Castimonia, but of the original writer.  As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

Posted on April 11, 2013 by Ressurrection

As a professional, Dr. Carson understands that he is the Director of Neurosurgery alongside pedophile professionals who are seeking to through academia justify and re-categorize pedophilia so that it is seen with the same tolerance and acceptance as homosexuality. This movement did not began today.

Johns Hopkins University held a conference last year for a group of homosexual-pedophile professionals who are working diligently to change the definition of pedophilia from a mental disorder by the American Psychological Association, within its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders to a sexual orientation like homosexuality.

In 1973, when the same thing happened to homosexuality, there was only one defining piece of information that led to the change of homosexuality from a mental disorder to a sexual orientation, and that was the “Kinsey Report”. The “Kinsey Report” as it is affectionately called is a book that was put out by Alfred Kinsey who was a Satanist, a homosexual-pedophile, sadomasochist, who believed in having sex with same-sex, animals, and children.

His influence has started movements in the homosexual (Harry Hay) and pornography (Hugh Hefner) communities. The next stop you ask? Legalizing sex with children. Bestiality will follow. There’s one problem with the Kinsey system (other than the obvious), he lied. Dr. Judith Reisman has spent her entire professional career proving this to be true.

He interviewed pedophiles and people who were already in jail, and passed off their stories and submissions as research within the communities of stable, white suburban households of women who would have never done the things that he professed in his book. He launched an entire movement because people thought that their neighbors told Kinsey something that they weren’t telling each other.

So when Dr. Benjamin Carson who is the Director of Pediatric Neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins Hospital makes statements about his personal views regarding the correlation between homosexuality, pedophilia and bestiality it is important that we seek out the information that he may be unable to say in his public comments. In that respect I will offer them here from both a professional and biblical standpoint.

John Hopkins University, and Pro-Pedophile Movement Dr. Fred Berlin

The pro-pedophile agenda is pushed by Dr. Fred S. Berlin and Dr. Finkelhor who are both respected in their professions, which can be very misleading to the masses. Education has become a bully and a determinant of who knows best. Dr. Fred S. Berlin is the associate professor of the Sexual Behavior Consultation Unit within the Psychiatry and Behavioral Science Department at John Hopkins University.

Dr. Berlin, founder of the Johns Hopkins Sexual Disorders Clinic, specializes in the evaluation and treatment of patients with sexual disorders, such as pedophilia, voyeurism, and exhibitionism, according to John Hopkins’ website.

In my personal opinion, anyone who supports the idea that pedophilia should be legalized is either a pedophile or some kind of sexual predator or child molester. Dr. Berlin, is closely tied to groups like B4-U-Act, an organization very similar to NAMBLA who is seeking to legalize sex with children.

Dr. Carson accepted a request for my daughter’s class many years ago. She was mesmerized by his humble nature, his level of success and his outright disclosure that he is a Christian. It is a defining moment in her youth.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m-HrSqewI34

and

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bbBib1HmLNY

As Dr. Carson said in his video response about his personal views on homosexuality, pedophilia and bestiality all-inclusive, his beliefs about same-sex marriage have been that way for 20 years. Today however, the media launches full-out attacks on people, making assumptions about their entire view. And, people are being conditioned to do the same.

As a Christian, it is believed that God sees homosexuality, pedophilia and bestiality as sexual perversion. And in my research I find individuals who worship Satan as the leadership of sexually perverted movements like Aleister Crowley and Alfred Kinsey.

After viewing the entire Penn State Child Sexual Abuse Conference, which was put together as an action to resolve the Sandusky case from a societal perspective I was alarmed and baffled by some of Dr. David Finkelhor’s beliefs about relaxing the laws concerning pedophiles.

Finkelhor spoke at John’s Hopkins for that conference last year and was slated to be the keynote speaker this year before it was cancelled after all the media attention to John Hopkins University because of Dr. Carson’s statements.

Dr. Carson’s comments were that of his belief system. The core of who we all are reflect what we believe. All of the choices we make, who we vote for or against, and what we stand up for or remain silent on have to do with what we believe. This should never be bullied by opposing views and I appreciate Dr. Carson’s unshakable demeanor concerning those who would seek to delegitimize his success because his thoughts are not supported by popular demand.

He was not choosing to create a political platform, rather to express his beliefs in a way that would create dialogue to rising issues like movements which promote pedophilia. As Dr. Carson said, homosexuality and pedophilia are not the same in that, children are unable to consent.

The ACLU defends pedophilia, but that’s another story. There are groups of people in white coats, suits and ties with Dr. in front of or acronyms placed behind their name leading unsuspecting individuals without those credentials to believe that the lawyers, judges, politicians, and educators know what is best.

I believe that God has always known what is best, and it is important that we understand what God-intimacy is, so that we can identify the movements that seek to change definitions and force agreement upon us that would harm our children and families.

Dr. Carson is entitled to his views without being bullied or called childish names. I encourage black liberals not to make this about Affirmative Action or racially motivated stances but to see the real issue – that Dr. Carson is working alongside some of the people we should be protesting but he is not one of them.

In conclusion, from a biblical perspective there is a correlation between what Dr. Benjamin Carson said about homosexuality, pedophilia and bestiality. However from a completely NON-BIBLICAL perspective there is a correlation between what he said as well. The movement that I write about is being conducted through the disguise of “science and research” and THEY – NOT ME – are saying that normalizing homosexuality allows them to do the same with pedophilia. I am the messenger – don’t shoot me just wake up! – Thank you. – Ressurrection Graves

Ressurrection Graves is a child sexual abuse grooming expert who has authored a petition to make it a felony. She writes, speaks and educates the masses on protecting children and healing as adults from past child sexual abuse.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, christian, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, meeting, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, trauma

February 25, 2014 By Castimonia

A Pastor Reflects on Porn and Church Leadership

Originally posted at: http://www.covenanteyes.com/2013/06/21/a-pastor-reflects-on-porn-and-church-leadership/

by Dr. T. C. Ryan

26/365 - Such ShameA very challenging situation came to my attention recently. It involves a woman who’s married to a man with a long-term addiction to pornography. She has talked with their pastor (the husband’s brother) but not much came of that. She is hurt, feels betrayed and doesn’t talk with her husband about his struggle anymore. We addressed this aspect of her story yesterday.

There is another facet to this situation which leads to questions about sexual brokenness and church leadership.

The woman writes that now her husband is being considered for an elder position by their pastor (his brother). It appears that in this congregation’s polity, everyone in the church votes for the leadership and their votes are known.

This is creating terrific anxiety for the woman. She feels betrayed (again) by her brother-in-law/pastor and by her husband because all three of them know the husband has a long-standing and unaltered practice of using pornography.

She feels that she cannot vote “yes” for her husband on principle; but if she votes “no” she’s afraid the truth will come out and her husband’s standing in the church will be ruined. She feels caught, alone and frustrated by an intolerable situation not of her own making.

How should we think about the leadership and spirituality?

The principle that should guide the development of healthy church leadership should never be performance and perfection. The Gospel mandate for healthy church leadership is pursuit and progress. 

In the greatest sermon ever preached, Our Lord made it clear that the goal of spiritual transformation is completeness or perfection. We live the Christian life to become like Christ, fully reflecting the goodness of our Father (Matthew 5:48). The path to that goal is to learn to fulfill the first and second great commandments, loving God with all our being and becoming more attached to him than anyone or anything else, and loving others as ourselves (Matthew 22:34-40). The truly spiritual life is one of progressing along that path.

Our sexuality is a primary arena in which we must learn to continually bring ourselves to the school of Christ for rewiring and transformation. We all have some mal-attachments in sexual thinking and perception—for all of us are sexual beings and all of us have challenges in the way we handle our thoughts and feelings. Sexuality is such a powerful force that it creates tremendous attraction—and in some cases revulsion—in us and we need the Spirit’s help in becoming healthy sexual people.

So how should churches handle compulsive sexual behaviors in leaders?

The church that wants to be useful and relevant will regularly share in board meetings, leadership group training and especially from the pulpit messages like this:

  • We live in a sex-crazed culture;
  • As beings made in the image of God we are all vulnerable around sexuality because it is so special, so wonderful, so personal and so powerful;
  • Because we so easily get our wires crossed around sex, lots of people—men and women—are finding themselves trapped in behaviors and habits they know are not right, ways of living they themselves don’t respect but are having trouble changing;
  • We can help each other change if we will use truth and grace.

Create an atmosphere of encouragement and growth, not inquisition. No condemnation or shaming. Be easy about it. Be open, not uptight. Intentionally develop a climate of invitation for everyone in the church body to grow in the grace and life-changing knowledge of Jesus Christ.

Regularly teach that leaders struggle just like everyone else, and in fact their isolation in leadership sometimes makes it more difficult and challenging to lead the life they really want to lead. This isn’t an excuse for unhealthy behavior, but it’s important to recognize the difficulty.

If leaders need help and are willing to get it, churches must do everything feasible to make it available. What helps the health of the leadership nurtures the well-being of the whole body.

Offer strategies for positive self-care steps. Educate the church body about compulsive sexual behaviors and strategies for recovery. Those who aren’t struggling with sexual addiction need to understand it anyway because so many folks around them are.

Remember to make the Main Thing the Main Thing

So what should the wife do about the church vote? She should probably vote “no” because that is what her conscience is telling her. But it’s important to explore the motivation. She doesn’t want to ruin her husband’s “standing” in the church; but his reputation isn’t real. It’s a façade. Her motivation can’t be for how he appears to others; her motivation has to be love for his soul.

We don’t forbid the brother who’s caught in the throes of addiction from leadership so that we protect the church or protect our reputations. No, we don’t put him in that role because right now, that’s not the loving thing to do for him. He needs something else. He needs recovery and health and growth in grace. And then he can serve.

Not too long ago, a notable church leader’s hidden sexual struggles came to light in a media storm. A friend told me about two separate conversations with atheists who reacted by strongly declaring that this was why they didn’t want to have anything to do with the Christian message. Because of this leader’s failure? No, they said, because of how badly the church treated him. They valued what we too often disregard. Love.

Remember the words of Jesus:  “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another” (John 13:35). Agape love, self-giving love is how Jesus teaches us to treat each other.

T. C. Ryan is the author of Ashamed No More: A Pastor’s Journey Through Sex Addiction (InterVarsity Press, 2012) and is a speaker about life in Christ, genuine spirituality and Christ and recovery. He can be found on Facebook (T. C. Ryan), tweets (@tcryanone) and his website is tc-ryan.com.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, christian, escorts, father wound, gratification, human trafficking, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, STD, strippers, trauma

February 9, 2014 By Castimonia

Ten Things You Might Not Know About Men Who Buy Sex

In a comprehensive study, “Comparing Sex Buyers with Men Who Don’t Buy Sex,” Melissa Farley, PHD, Founding Director of the Prostitution Research and Education, compares the characteristics of men who buy sex versus those who don’t. Besides their involvement with prostitution, the men surveyed revealed surprising attitudes and behaviors when it came to sex and women. Here are ten things you may not know about men who buy sex:

  1. On average, men reported were 21 years of age when they first bought sex.
  2.  25% of the sex buyers had traveled to another state and while there used women in prostitution.
  3.  41% of the sex buyers knowingly used a woman in prostitution who was controlled by a pimp.
  4. 66% of the sex buyers observed that a majority of women are lured, tricked or trafficked into prostitution.
  5. 74% of the sex buyers reported that they learned about sex from pornography.
  6. Sex buyers were more than 7x’s more likely than non-sex buyers to acknowledge that they would rape a woman if they could get away with it and if no one knew about it.
  7. Sex buyers are far more likely than non-sex buyers to commit felonies, misdemeanors, crimes related to violence against women, substance abuse-related crimes, assaults, crimes with weapons, and crimes against authority.
  8. 89% of sex buyers said they would be deterred from buying sex if their name were to be added to a sex offender registry.
  9. 90% of sex buyers said they would be deterred from buying sex if a $1,000-$2,000 penalty were imposed.
  10. 100% of sex buyers said they would be deterred from buying sex if a one month jail term were imposed.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, christian, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, trafficking, trauma

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Castimonia Restoration Ministry, Inc. is a 501c3 non-profit organization


This site is intended for individuals who struggle with maintaining sexual purity. This information is posted for individuals at various stages in their recovery, year 1 to year 30+; what applies to some, may not apply others. Spouses are encouraged to read this blog with the caveat that they may not agree with, understand, or know the reason for some items posted. As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

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