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Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

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anonymous sex partners

May 31, 2016 By Castimonia

ANTHEM: Strategies for Fighting Lust

Originally posted at: http://www.desiringgod.org/articles/anthem-strategies-for-fighting-lust

November 5, 2001
by John Piper

I have in mind men and women. For men it’s obvious. The need for warfare against the bombardment of visual temptation to fixate on sexual images is urgent. For women it is less obvious, but just as great if we broaden the scope of temptation to food or figure or relational fantasies. When I say “lust” I mean the realm of thought, imagination, and desire that leads to sexual misconduct. So here is one set of strategies in the war against wrong desires. I put it in the form of an acronym, A N T H E M.

A – AVOID as much as is possible and reasonable the sights and situations that arouse unfitting desire. I say “possible and reasonable” because some exposure to temptation is inevitable. And I say “unfitting desire” because not all desires for sex, food, and family are bad. We know when they are unfitting and unhelpful and on their way to becoming enslaving. We know our weaknesses and what triggers them. “Avoiding” is a Biblical strategy. “Flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness” (2 Timothy 2:22). “Make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires” (Romans 13:14).

N – Say NO to every lustful thought within five seconds. And say it with the authority of Jesus Christ. “In the name of Jesus, NO!” You don’t have much more than five seconds. Give it more unopposed time than that, and it will lodge itself with such force as to be almost immovable. Say it out loud if you dare. Be tough and warlike. As John Owen said, “Be killing sin or it will be killing you.” Strike fast and strike hard. “Resist the devil, and he will flee from you” ( James 4:7).

T – TURN the mind forcefully toward Christ as a superior satisfaction. Saying “no” will not suffice. You must move from defense to offense. Fight fire with fire. Attack the promises of sin with the promises of Christ. The Bible calls lusts “deceitful desires” (Ephesians 4:22). They lie. They promise more than they can deliver. The Bible calls them “passions of your former ignorance” (1 Peter 1:14). Only fools yield. “All at once he follows her, as an ox goes to the slaughter” (Proverbs 7:22). Deceit is defeated by truth. Ignorance is defeated by knowledge. It must be glorious truth and beautiful knowledge. This is why I wrote Seeing and Savoring Jesus Christ. We must stock our minds with the superior promises and pleasures of Jesus. Then we must turn to them immediately after saying, “NO!”

H – HOLD the promise and the pleasure of Christ firmly in your mind until it pushes the other images out. “Fix your eyes on Jesus” (Hebrews 3:1). Here is where many fail. They give in too soon. They say, “I tried to push it out, and it didn’t work.” I ask, “How long did you try?” How hard did you exert your mind? The mind is a muscle. You can flex it with vehemence. Take the kingdom violently (Matthew 11:12). Be brutal. Hold the promise of Christ before your eyes. Hold it. Hold it! Don’t let it go! Keep holding it! How long? As long as it takes. Fight! For Christ’s sake, fight till you win! If an electric garage door were about to crush your child you would hold it up with all our might and holler for help, and hold it and hold it and hold it and hold it.

E – ENJOY a superior satisfaction. Cultivate the capacities for pleasure in Christ. One reason lust reigns in so many is that Christ has so little appeal. We default to deceit because we have little delight in Christ. Don’t say, “That’s just not me.” What steps have you taken to waken affection for Jesus? Have you fought for joy? Don’t be fatalistic. You were created to treasure Christ with all your heart – more than you treasure sex or sugar. If you have little taste for Jesus, competing pleasures will triumph. Plead with God for the satisfaction you don’t have: “Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days” (Psalm 90:14). Then look, look, look at the most magnificent Person in the universe until you see him the way he is.

M – MOVE into a useful activity away from idleness and other vulnerable behaviors. Lust grows fast in the garden of leisure. Find a good work to do, and do it with all your might. “Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord” (Romans 12:11). “Be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord” (1 Corinthians 15:58). Abound in work. Get up and do something. Sweep a room. Hammer a nail. Write a letter. Fix a faucet. And do it for Jesus’ sake. You were made to manage and create. Christ died to make you “zealous for good deeds” (Titus 2:14). Displace deceitful lusts with a passion for good deeds.

Fighting at your side,

Pastor John

Filed Under: Friday Noon Telemeeting, Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, alcohol, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, christian, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, meeting, porn, pornography, pornstars, prostitutes, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity

May 21, 2016 By Castimonia

Expressing your Feelings

Just as you have choices about how to interpret an event, you also have options about how to express those feelings you experience. Often we limit the range of our expressive options by erroneously believing that there are only two options: either directly expressing them to someone else (e.g., in a personal confrontation), or “swallowing” the feelings and keeping them to ourselves. In actuality, there are many ways to respond to your feelings and express yourself. To some extent, you express a feeling any time your behavior is influenced by that feeling, but the way you express that feeling, and the intensity of that expression can vary widely. This is where decision-making comes in. First, consider what your options are. For example, if a close friend is planning to move away, you may feel very sad about that. You have numerous options here. For example, you can tell your friend how much you will miss him/her. Also, you can make a special effort to spend more time with him/her. These options may be painful at the time, but they give you the opportunity to express your feelings to your friend. On the other hand, you can avoid the friend until he/she leaves town so you won’t have to say good-bye. Or you can stay busy making other friends so you won’t miss this particular friend as much after he/she leaves. These choices may allow you to postpone or avoid painful feelings at the time, but they do not provide the opportunity for closure with your friend. The point is that you have options, and it’s your decision. Here are some useful questions to consider when deciding how to respond to your feelings:
– Does the intensity of my feelings match the situation?
– Do I have several feelings that I need to pay attention to?
– What interpretations or judgments am I making about this event?
– What are my options for expressing my feelings?
– What are the consequences of each option for me?
– What are the consequences of each option for others?
– What result am I hoping for?
– What do I want to do?
– What if I do nothing?
Even doing something like taking a deep breath or going for a walk to think about it can be a way of responding to your feelings. Remember that you have many options when it comes to expressing emotions. http://www.counselingcenter.illinois.edu/self-help-brochures/self-awarenessself-care/experiencing-and-expressing-emotions/

The best and most beautiful things
in the world cannot be seen or even touched.
They must be felt with the heart.
Helen Keller

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, pornstars, prostitutes, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual purity, spouses, trauma

May 12, 2016 By Castimonia

*** Columbus, Texas Meeting Day & Time Change ***

The Columbus, Texas Castimonia meeting which originally began on Monday mornings at 6:00AM has changed to Tuesday evenings at 7:00PM in order to accommodate the schedules of men attending.  Please make note of this change if you wish to visit this meeting.

Tuesday Evenings
Time: 7:00PM – 8:30PM
Location: First Baptist Church
1700 Milam Street
Columbus, TX  78934
979.732.6261
http://www.fbccolumbustx.org

Filed Under: General Meeting Information Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, alcoholic, anonymous sex partners, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, meeting, porn, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, strippers, trauma

May 7, 2016 By Castimonia

God Loves Sex: God Loves Free People

Please take the opportunity to watch or listen to the awesome sermon by Gateway Church in Austin.  More churches should take this non-condemning and loving approach towards those of us who struggle with sexual purity!

“If your significant other comes to you today and confesses [to sexual impurity] will you not shame them?  They’re already dealing with it [shame] so much  right now and they need to hear that they’re loved.  They took a brave and courageous step and Jesus is not going to shame them so why should we?”

Each of us has been ensnared or enslaved in one way or another, and no matter how hard we try we can’t do anything to free ourselves. The amazing truth is that we don’t have to because Jesus came, died and rose again to bring us freedom! Through Him we’re no longer slaves to the past — the things we’ve done or the things done to us, so how can we learn to live as free people?

In our last message of this series, you’ve heard specifically about freedom from pornography, yet the freedom offered in Christ applies to any and all areas that may ensnare or enslave us. Work through the following questions on your own, and get together with your running partner, Life Group, or friends and family around the dinner table to talk through what you’re learning about living as free people!

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts, Videos Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, alcoholic, anonymous sex partners, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, pornstars, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, strippers, trauma

May 5, 2016 By Castimonia

Colin Farrell: Having sex after getting sober was ‘one of the most terrifying moments in my life’

The ‘Winter’s Tale’ actor talks about getting clean and how he has ditched his ladies’ man ways.

BY Kirthana Ramisetti
NEW YORK DAILY NEWS
Thursday, February 13, 2014, 3:22 PM

Colin Farrell has been sober for eight years, but he still remembers how tough it was to change his wild-child ways.

“I worried I wouldn’t be able to talk, full stop,” the “Winter’s Tale” actor said, when asked by Elle magazine whether he could talk to women after getting clean. “I hadn’t uttered a word sober in about 15 years.”

The difficulties extended beyond making conversation, the Irish celeb revealed in the magazine’s March issue.

“I made love to a woman about two and a half years after I got clean, and it was one of the most terrifying moments of my life,” he said. “It was in the afternoon. The windows and the curtains were open. It was lovely, and, to be crass, it wasn’t f–ing. She was very gentle. But it was terrifying. Because I was just used to drunkenness and dark rooms and clubs and toilets and wherever.”

Farrell, 37, had a reputation as a ladies’ man earlier on his career after being linked to the likes of Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan.

He even had a few memorable nights at the Playboy mansion when he first moved to Los Angeles in the early 2000s. The “Tigerland” star told Elle that he had been to Hugh Hefner’s famous abode twice in his life, describing it as “a rite of passage.”

“But it kind of came back to haunt me,” he added, referring to former girlfriend, Playboy model Nicole Narain, who he accused of trying to distribute a sex tape the two had made in 2003.

Farrell was offered $5 million for the 14-minute video, but he and Narain reached a confidential settlement in 2006 to block its sale and distribution – but the video still turned up online.

“The whole thing was horrifying,” he added. “I was deposed for four hours explaining why I didn’t want it to be released. God forbid it’s an On Demand movie in a hotel room and my mother says, ‘Oh, I haven’t seen this work of my son’s,’ and hits purchase.”

Farrell, a single father of two, joked that he is now “just trying to weed out the gold-diggers.”

As for future love and marriage, he said, “For me, I don’t know if it’s possible. But I certainly do believe in monogamy. I don’t believe that it’s for everyone.”

But when asked if he could ever fall in love with a woman who wasn’t a fan of his movies, Farrell said he could “for sure.”

“I needed to learn to love myself while not loving my movies,” he said. “I would never hold that against anyone.”

Read more:
http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/gossip/colin-farrell-opens-sober-sex-elle-article-1.1613466#ixzz3509ENA6p

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, christian, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, pornstars, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual purity, STD, strippers, trauma

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Castimonia Restoration Ministry, Inc. is a 501c3 non-profit organization


This site is intended for individuals who struggle with maintaining sexual purity. This information is posted for individuals at various stages in their recovery, year 1 to year 30+; what applies to some, may not apply others. Spouses are encouraged to read this blog with the caveat that they may not agree with, understand, or know the reason for some items posted. As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

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