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CASTIMONIA

Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

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wives

August 15, 2019 By Castimonia

BeBroken – Registrations are open for our Fall Wives Care Groups!

The Be Broken Ministries Wives Care Groups are designed to make it easier for a woman who has been hurt by her husband’s sexual brokenness to get going on the healing path that Jesus has for her.  This is a weekly one hour commitment that can be done from your home or during a work break. All you will need is your computer, tablet or phone and some time alone. We will meet for a total of six sessions. Each group is led by two well qualified and caring ladies who have experienced betrayal themselves. You can opt to meet through Zoom Video Conferencing or, more anonymously, by calling in from any phone. 

For more information check out our monthly Wives Care Basics Webinar. 

We will be offering groups in three different days and times:

Registration Link start date: Tuesday, October 8 at 7 pm CST

Registration Link start date: Wednesday, October 9 at 10 am CST

Registration Link start date: Wednesday, October 9 at 2 pm CST

If this information doesn’t apply to you personally, we appreciate if you would pass on this opportunity to those who could benefit from getting better equipped to heal from betrayal trauma. Thank you so much.  Comments from recent attendees: “Feeling validated and sharing with and hearing from other women who truly get it and understand plays such a huge part in the healing process. It’s like a breath of fresh air not feeling like you have to make sure you include every single detail so the listener can fully understand why you feel what you feel. The exhaustion of extensive explaining wasn’t even a thing because they just…get it. The entire experience was super enlightening and so well done.  In addition to the Zoom meetings, we received weekly, encouraging emails that included phenomenal resources to learn from.” 

“The group is a good place to heal because the women understand your pain and validate your feelings. We are given resources on how to begin to deal with the trauma.”

“I really appreciated the organization of the topics, that in itself helped me to untangle some of the different aspects of this journey and see things more clearly.”
​Click HERE for more information on the groups….​ 
Have a blessed day! 

Gigi Hopkins
Be Broken Ministries Wives Care Coordinator
Be Broken Ministries
210-822-8201 x 102

Filed Under: General Meeting Information Tagged With: betrayal, castimonia, porn, pornography, Sex, sex addiction, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual purity, support, trauma, wives

May 12, 2015 By Castimonia

When your wife says she can’t trust you ….

… this is what she really wants to say to you!  Be grateful that she loves you enough to use tact.

Liar Ecard

 

The truth is, we have a track record of lying to our wife over the course of our marriage.  However, now that we’re in recovery we can practice rigorous honesty and earn back her trust, slowly, one truth at a time!

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, alcohol, alcoholic, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, Liar, lie, lust, lying, masturbation, porn, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, strippers, trauma, wives

July 25, 2012 By Castimonia

Addicted to Love

Addicted to Love

It’s interesting I ended up in this meeting.  In never thought I would be in a room with other men addicted to love and sex or relationships.  However, after hearing numerous first steps I knew this was the right place to me.  With help from my sponsor I have been able to discuss these issues, write them down, and then present them to you in an effort to begin the healing process.

My earliest childhood memories were not the most pleasant.  My father was very affluent, and everyone looked up to him, it wasn’t until really started looking at my family of origin that I found traces of sex and love addiction among him.  I was his second child from his affair partner, whom he actually married when my mother was pregnant with my older brother.  The sad thing is, my older brother died shortly after he was born, maybe a punishment for my mother and father’s sinful behavior?  I do remember being given everything I ever wanted.  My father and mother provided a lot for me, we had an enormous home and I was looked after by numerous caretakers as well as my parents.  Going back to my family of origin, in entering recovery and asking the questions that needed to be asked about my family of origin, I found out about my father’s adultery and how he met my mother.  You see my father was into voyeurism and lusted after my mother.  He took the extra step and began an affair.  Thankfully, he married my mother so technically I wasn’t some unwanted pregnancy.  My father was, however, in denial for some time about his actions until he was set straight by a close friend of his who pointed out what he had done.  After that, he began to turn away from that lifestyle, unfortunately, not enough.  He still acted out with other women, marrying them one-by-one.  Maybe that’s where I got part of my problem, genetics?

I remember growing up with a bunch of half-brothers and half-sisters, it was quite dysfunctional.  I didn’t complain, I was my mother’s only child and she took great care of me, but she was still emotionally drained and heartbroken at my father’s sexual activities.  When I was old enough, my mother prepared me begin the process of taking control of my father’s business.  I was given the best education and was absolutely ready.  As a side note, just before this, two of my half-brothers got into a feud over one of them raping the other’s sister (the assailant’s half-sister) and the rapist was murdered in cold blood.  Now that is crazy, but perhaps this helps you understand how insane my life growing up really was compared to a “normal” family.  That half-brother of mine even tried to murder my father so he could take over the business, but he ended up getting killed in the process.  Really messed up!

I remember the day my mother forced my father to give me control of his company by using guilt and some shame in the process.  I already suffered from a distant father wound, but now I could see the overly bonded mother wound coming out.  My mother was basically controlling my life and forcing my father to give up control to me.  It was like some crazy soap opera!  Furthermore, my other half-brother who initially tried to take control was murdered, but I won’t say who did it or why.  It sounds like my life is completely out of control at this point, but it gets worse!

I remember my first wife, she was very beautiful, but if I am brutally honest, the marriage was arranged in order to help me and her father in business dealings.  I wonder how many men have married their wives because of their father-in-law’s power and business.  I loved her, moved her to my newly built home but it wasn’t the love I wanted.  It wasn’t like the movies or as read in books; it wasn’t the “fantasy” I searched for all my life.  So what did I do? I started looking for another wife to fulfill what I thought real love should be; a fantasy!

Furthermore, while married, I began writing romance books, poems, and short stories in an attempt to deal with my love addiction.  One short story ended up selling world-wide and was a very poetic story about a man and a woman, in love, making love to one another with God present in their relationship.  I’m not sure if it was the mixture of the content and the poetry that made it such a best seller or just that it was written by someone with so much power and prestige.  Now that I look back, it was a cry out for me for help!  I have a problem and I can’t seem to admit it, I keep searching for that great romantic fantasy with each and every woman I am with, but I can never find it.  I even tried to help my children with my book on wisdom and living a godly life.  That too became a popular best-seller, but alas, I didn’t listen to my own advice – isn’t that the case most times, we can give great advice but don’t always follow our own!

By the time I entered recovery, I was plagued with depression and suicidal thoughts.  I even wrote about it, which I will discuss in a bit.  Just before entering recovery, I experimented with my wife and her worship of ancient cultures and ancient gods, not the God I originally knew growing up.  She had me performing all these ancient near-east rituals that revolved around sexuality.  I enjoyed them; it helped feed the fantasy and my addiction.  It made sex more powerful to my addict, but afterwards, I still felt empty, completely and totally empty.  It seemed life was meaningless.  While married to her, I wrote about how meaningless life had become apart from God, the real God, not some ancient false god where sex was the main worshiping ritual.  That too became a best-seller, but I was still empty.  All the publicity tours about my love poem short story and now this book on life being empty and meaningless all meant nothing to me!  I all wanted was real love, however, now I realize that I don’t even know what is considered real love.

I have learned over and over, beginning from my childhood, to believe in a fantasy love, not a real love with ups and downs.  As I review my powerlessness and the unmanageability in my life, I can see the common theme; I “fell in love,” thought I was happy for a while, something would go wrong, and then I would exit and find another woman with whom to fall in love!  It was a vicious cycle, I couldn’t stop, and in reality, I didn’t want to stop.  And finally, it hit me, without God (my God, not some ancient false god) life has not meaning, without meaning, life has no purpose, without purpose I have only one way out – suicide!

I mentioned the meaningless and suicidal thoughts as well as my entire story to my therapist and he let me know that I might have a sex and/or love addiction.  He talked to me about support groups I could attend and a program I could work through.  By the time I entered recovery, I had spent over 50 million dollars on my addiction, either through various wives, acting out material, or houses, gifts, trips, etc… that helped fuel my addiction.  I have had more wives than I can possibly remember.  This is going to sound absolutely ridiculous, but someone close to me told me I, that in my long lifetime, that I had been married 700 times, and I had 300 women I took care of on the side, those of which I would have sex with whenever I wanted, call them affair partners if you wish.  My search for the perfect love has been futile and worthless and I have lost countless years of my life in pursuit of a happiness that cannot be found apart from God.

Hello, my name is Solomon, and I am a sex and love addict.

The above post is my own interpretation of King Solomon’s life had he lived today.  It is taken from various parts of the Bible, most notably 2 Samuel and 1 Kings.  The tragedy of all of this is that the problem began with his father David and was passed on to his descendants until the time of Jesus Christ.  Solomon had a very dysfunctional life, made the best he could out of it, but at the end, he strayed from God and allowed his wives to influence him negatively.  I don’t believe there is a prayer like David’s Psalm 51 where Solomon asks for God’s forgiveness, but he does a great job of illustrating how meaningless life is apart from God when he wrote Ecclesiastes.  I hope everyone man’s life gets to the point where they are crying out to God for help, that they hit that rock bottom and realize they need help, and that they begin attending support and recovery groups for their problem.  Don’t let it go this far, get help now, before it is too late.

Take what you like and leave the rest!

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, christian, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, love addiction, lust, masturbation, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, purity, recovery, relationship addiction, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, solomon, spouses, strippers, wives

June 16, 2012 By Castimonia

Video – Nicole Wick, Spouse of Sexual Addict

In order to better our own recovery, it is important to learn to empathize with our wives and understand their trauma, pain, and recovery.  Below is a video I found of Nicole as she describes her husband’s addiction and their recovery.

Nicole has been blogging for EveryMansBattle.com and XXXchurch.com since 2009, mostly writing for wives of men who struggle with porn.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts, Videos Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, christian, couples, couples recovery, escorts, gratification, healing, human trafficking, lust, masturbation, porn, porn star, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, resentment, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, strippers, trauma, wife, wives

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This site is intended for individuals who struggle with maintaining sexual purity. This information is posted for individuals at various stages in their recovery, year 1 to year 30+; what applies to some, may not apply others. Spouses are encouraged to read this blog with the caveat that they may not agree with, understand, or know the reason for some items posted. As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

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