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Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

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ptsd

May 28, 2014 By Castimonia

Stereotype of the Heroic Male

o-men-take-more-pain-men-570When upset, women are more likely to express their feelings directly, and to seek the support of friends and family, whereas men might hide their emotions or withdraw. Men often feel that they need to be self-reliant. They are sometimes focused on providing for their loved ones and hide their own emotions. This behavior is reinforced everyday in the stereotype of the heroic male, so often represented in popular culture. Fearless, resourceful, stoic and usually facing adversity alone, these characters tell us a lot about what is considered to be ideal male behavior within our society. More powerful than film characters are the roles we see our parents playing. Many men have experienced fathers who were emotionally distant, who rarely, if ever, cried or expressed affection outwardly. The way we see our parents behave becomes the unconscious template for our own behavior. It is helpful to think in terms of four basic human emotions: Sadness; Anger; Happiness; Fear. Of these four emotions, happiness is considered the most acceptable in society. Yet anger, fear and sadness are universally felt by everyone. These emotions serve valuable purposes and are normal responses to threat and loss. As emotions such as fear and sadness are generally not as accepted, men might try to hide these from themselves and those around them. They feel that they should be able cope on their own. We might not always be able to identify what we’re feeling or have the words to describe our emotions. Men may feel uncomfortable talking to someone about them, leading to frustration in relationships when they cannot express their needs, fears and grief.  https://www.google.com/search?q=men+emotions&sourceid=ie7&rls=com.microsoft:en-US:IE-Address&ie=&oe=

“Let’s not forget that the little emotions are the great captains of our lives and we obey them without realizing it.” – Vincent Van Gogh

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, christian, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, prostitute, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sexual, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, trauma

May 25, 2014 By Castimonia

Object of Their Affections

5798_fdfePeople develop addictions to shield themselves from intolerably painful feelings. An addiction always creates harmful, often ignored consequences. Only when the addiction becomes unmanageable will people do something about it. Love addicts spend much time, effort on a person to whom they are addicted. Love addicts value this person above themselves, and their focus on the beloved other often is obsessive. This behavior results in love addicts neglecting to care for themselves in a variety of ways, in essence abandoning important aspects of their lives and well-being to stay connected to the object of their affections. Love addiction doesn’t necessarily pertain only to romantic or sexual relationships. It is possible for a person to relate as a love addict with their friends, children, sponsor, guru or religious figure, or even with a movie star, whom they have never met. A love addict’s core fantasy is the expectation that someone else can solve their problems, provide unconditional positive regard at all times, and take care of them. When this unrealistic need isn’t met, love addicts may find themselves feeling resentful, and may create conflict in their relationships with others. Some love addicts find that when not involved in a love-addicted relationship, they are able to care for themselves quite adequately. However, when they become involved, the love addict quickly finds that their self-care capacity steadily declines. From “What is Love Addiction?” By Alexandra Katehakis, MFT, CST, CSAT
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/05/26/what-is-love-addiction/

“My fear of abandonment is exceeded only by my terror of intimacy.” – Ethlie Ann Vare

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, alcohol, alcoholic, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, prostitute, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers

May 24, 2014 By Castimonia

United We Stand – VIDEO

One of the things I have appreciated in my recovery is the ability to spot recovery-related items in Hollywood movies.  In the movie Gladiator, there is a scene where the gladiators must fight in the Colosseum in Rome replaying the Battle of Carthage.  Out numbered and overpowered by chariots, the gladiators, led by the outcast General Maximus Decimus Meridius, are commanded to “stay together” to survive.  As men in recovery, we have learned that we need to stay together, as part of the group, in order to battle the addiction.  For me, this translates to, making phone calls, attending meetings, sponsoring others, and reaching out to those that still struggle.  As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

FAIR USE NOTICE: This video may contain copyrighted material. Such material is made available for purposes such as criticism, comment, teaching, & education, etc. This constitutes a ’fair use’ of any such copyrighted material as provided for in Title 17 U.S.C. section 107 of the US Copyright Law NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED! All trademarks and copyrights remain the property of their owners.

Filed Under: Saturday Morning Meeting Topics, Sexual Purity Posts, Videos Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, castimonia, christian, Emotions, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, pornstars, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual purity, trauma

May 20, 2014 By Castimonia

New Castimonia Meeting in Northwest Houston

I am humbled to announce that we will officially be starting a new Castimonia meeting on Monday nights at Lifepath Church in the Northwest Houston area on June 2nd!  Location information is written below.
Beginning June 2, 2014
Monday Nights
Time: 7:00PM – 8:30PM
Location: Lifepath Church – Room 108
17703 W Little York Rd
Houston, TX 77084
281.855.0222
NEWLocationMap
This meeting should help alleviate the Monday night meeting in Katy and allow for more attendees from Northwest and North Houston to attend a Castimonia meeting.  We are currently working on a meeting in La Porte, TX as well.
Praise be to God, the father of our Lord Jesus Christ, for all He has done to grow His ministry!

Filed Under: General Meeting Information Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, castimonia, christian, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Houston, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, Lifepath Church, lust, masturbation, meeting, porn, pornography, pornstars, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual purity, trauma, TX

May 16, 2014 By Castimonia

Sioux Falls Man Gets 30 Years for Sex Trafficking

Teen testifies in court ‘I am not your victim; I am a survivor’

Jul. 16, 2013

bildeA Sioux Falls man was sentenced to 30 years in prison Monday after being found guilty earlier this year of forcing a teenage girl into prostitution.

Emmanuel Nyuon, 34, was facing a possible life sentence after being convicted in April of sex trafficking involving a minor and conspiracy to commit sex trafficking.

U.S. District Judge Karen Schreier said that Nyuon’s case didn’t warrant the maximum sentence because his offenses and the number of victims were not equal to two previous sex trafficking cases in which she sentenced the defendants to life in prison.

But Schreier said that even though Nyuon professes that he only was helping the women, his behavior was not the kind of help they needed in their vulnerable situations.

“These women did not need help in the sex-trade business, this kind of work does not help women,” Schreier said.

The defendant’s case began last year, when administrators from the online classified website backpage.com flagged a page offering escort services with what appeared to be an underage girl.

Undercover detectives, posing as johns, set up a date with the girl at the Hampton Inn in Sioux Falls. Nyuon was caught on video dropping off the girl, who was 14 years old.

That victim testified during Nyuon’s three-day trial that he had sex with her when she was too ill to fight back and had beaten her because of suspicions that she was pregnant. She said she had also been threatened with a Taser and an air pistol she thought to be a handgun.

During Monday’s hearing, James Eirinberg, Nyuon’s lawyer, said while his client admits to driving the victim to the hotel for money, a life sentence was not warranted for aiding and abetting in the crime.

Eirinberg also asked the judge for leniency in light of Nyuon’s difficult childhood as a refugee from Sudan. Eirinberg said his client suffered from sexual assault growing up and from never having a solid father figure in his life.

Schreier said she knows Nyuon had a difficult upbringing,  but he, too, became a sex offender at a fairly young age, and had treatment and the opportunity to help himself later on in life, so his past does not excuse his trafficking actions.

Nyuon also addressed the judge during the hearing, and said he is glad that the women who testified against him are getting help, but he qualified his involvement with them as “minimal” and said the victims “are not as innocent as they act.”

Assistant U.S. Attorney Jeff Clapper argued that Nyuon’s guise of trying to help the women instead of using and abusing them is why he should be incarcerated for life.

“There is no rehabilitating a man like this,” Clapper said.

The 14-year-old victim was in the courtroom during Nyuon’s sentencing, and read a statement about her ordeal with the defendant, and her subsequent recovery.

“I am not your victim,” she said in court. “I am a survivor.”

After he was sentenced to 30 years in prison, Schreier instructed the 34-year-old to pay a $5,000 fine. If he completes his sentence, Nyuon will be subject to 10 years of probation upon release.

U.S. Attorney Brendan Johnson said he was “very satisfied” with the 30-year sentence. This case, he said, is a good example of how his office is aggressively prosecuting pimps and johns to target supply and demand of human sex trafficking in the state.

“Thirty years means that this individual will not be getting out anytime soon, and when he does, he’ll be an old man who won’t be able to perpetrate the same crimes that he has now,” Johnson said. “We won’t get a life sentence in every case, but a 30-year sentence — there aren’t many crimes where a 30-year sentence is the norm.”

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, christian, escorts, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, recovery, Sex, sex addiction, sexual, sexual impurity, sexual purity, trafficking, trauma

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Castimonia Restoration Ministry, Inc. is a 501c3 non-profit organization


This site is intended for individuals who struggle with maintaining sexual purity. This information is posted for individuals at various stages in their recovery, year 1 to year 30+; what applies to some, may not apply others. Spouses are encouraged to read this blog with the caveat that they may not agree with, understand, or know the reason for some items posted. As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

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