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CASTIMONIA

Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

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May 28, 2014 By Castimonia

Stereotype of the Heroic Male

o-men-take-more-pain-men-570When upset, women are more likely to express their feelings directly, and to seek the support of friends and family, whereas men might hide their emotions or withdraw. Men often feel that they need to be self-reliant. They are sometimes focused on providing for their loved ones and hide their own emotions. This behavior is reinforced everyday in the stereotype of the heroic male, so often represented in popular culture. Fearless, resourceful, stoic and usually facing adversity alone, these characters tell us a lot about what is considered to be ideal male behavior within our society. More powerful than film characters are the roles we see our parents playing. Many men have experienced fathers who were emotionally distant, who rarely, if ever, cried or expressed affection outwardly. The way we see our parents behave becomes the unconscious template for our own behavior. It is helpful to think in terms of four basic human emotions: Sadness; Anger; Happiness; Fear. Of these four emotions, happiness is considered the most acceptable in society. Yet anger, fear and sadness are universally felt by everyone. These emotions serve valuable purposes and are normal responses to threat and loss. As emotions such as fear and sadness are generally not as accepted, men might try to hide these from themselves and those around them. They feel that they should be able cope on their own. We might not always be able to identify what we’re feeling or have the words to describe our emotions. Men may feel uncomfortable talking to someone about them, leading to frustration in relationships when they cannot express their needs, fears and grief.  https://www.google.com/search?q=men+emotions&sourceid=ie7&rls=com.microsoft:en-US:IE-Address&ie=&oe=

“Let’s not forget that the little emotions are the great captains of our lives and we obey them without realizing it.” – Vincent Van Gogh

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, christian, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, prostitute, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sexual, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, trauma

May 25, 2014 By Castimonia

Object of Their Affections

5798_fdfePeople develop addictions to shield themselves from intolerably painful feelings. An addiction always creates harmful, often ignored consequences. Only when the addiction becomes unmanageable will people do something about it. Love addicts spend much time, effort on a person to whom they are addicted. Love addicts value this person above themselves, and their focus on the beloved other often is obsessive. This behavior results in love addicts neglecting to care for themselves in a variety of ways, in essence abandoning important aspects of their lives and well-being to stay connected to the object of their affections. Love addiction doesn’t necessarily pertain only to romantic or sexual relationships. It is possible for a person to relate as a love addict with their friends, children, sponsor, guru or religious figure, or even with a movie star, whom they have never met. A love addict’s core fantasy is the expectation that someone else can solve their problems, provide unconditional positive regard at all times, and take care of them. When this unrealistic need isn’t met, love addicts may find themselves feeling resentful, and may create conflict in their relationships with others. Some love addicts find that when not involved in a love-addicted relationship, they are able to care for themselves quite adequately. However, when they become involved, the love addict quickly finds that their self-care capacity steadily declines. From “What is Love Addiction?” By Alexandra Katehakis, MFT, CST, CSAT
http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/05/26/what-is-love-addiction/

“My fear of abandonment is exceeded only by my terror of intimacy.” – Ethlie Ann Vare

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, alcohol, alcoholic, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, prostitute, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers

May 24, 2014 By Castimonia

United We Stand – VIDEO

One of the things I have appreciated in my recovery is the ability to spot recovery-related items in Hollywood movies.  In the movie Gladiator, there is a scene where the gladiators must fight in the Colosseum in Rome replaying the Battle of Carthage.  Out numbered and overpowered by chariots, the gladiators, led by the outcast General Maximus Decimus Meridius, are commanded to “stay together” to survive.  As men in recovery, we have learned that we need to stay together, as part of the group, in order to battle the addiction.  For me, this translates to, making phone calls, attending meetings, sponsoring others, and reaching out to those that still struggle.  As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

FAIR USE NOTICE: This video may contain copyrighted material. Such material is made available for purposes such as criticism, comment, teaching, & education, etc. This constitutes a ’fair use’ of any such copyrighted material as provided for in Title 17 U.S.C. section 107 of the US Copyright Law NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED! All trademarks and copyrights remain the property of their owners.

Filed Under: Saturday Morning Meeting Topics, Sexual Purity Posts, Videos Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, castimonia, christian, Emotions, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, pornstars, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual purity, trauma

May 22, 2014 By Castimonia

An Unwelcome Generational Gift

angry-familyProlonged, excessive chaos in the child’s home leads to brain and hormonal changes resulting in withdrawal due to fear and acting out. Later in life the earlier stressors show up in eating disorders, promiscuity, codependency and alcohol and drug abuse. Anger becomes an unwelcome generational gift that is passed down in families. Anger is a normal human response when our well-being is threatened. We all have anger when we feel betrayed and are unable to express the pain that we feel. Anger is made up of feelings, thoughts and physiological reactions, which includes adrenalin and cortisol release to prepare for action. While the feelings and physiological reactions cannot always be controlled, the thoughts and the behaviors can be modified and expressed in more acceptable ways. The research shows that anger is a normal response to betrayal and loss of basic trust in others. Anger also is a normal reaction to injustice, terror and feeling out of control. The innocence of the child is broken by acts of betrayal. What takes its place is fear and anger. The hurt child resolves not to trust again and creates barriers to further connection to others. All anger is not bad. Sometimes anger is a legitimate response to an injustice, which is used to bring momentum, which allows the person to make, needed changes in their life. At times anger is justified given an unfair situation where the energy that anger provides is needed to leave a bad situation. Anger can be used to protect yourself when you are terrorized. We need the energy that anger brings to get us to act and do something differently when we are stuck in bad circumstances. Other times, anger is just a bad habit to deal with the feelings of frustration because things are not going as the person wants. This article addresses the habitual type of destructive anger that harms family members and friends. From “So You Love An Angry Person” by Lynne Namka, Ed. D.
http://www.angriesout.com/family2.htm

“Anger is just anger. It isn’t good. It isn’t bad. It just is. What you do with it is what matters. It’s like anything else. You can use it to build or to destroy. You just have to make the choice.” – From “White Night” by Jim Butcher

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, affair, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, call girls, castimonia, christian, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, strippers, trauma

May 20, 2014 By Castimonia

New Castimonia Meeting in Northwest Houston

I am humbled to announce that we will officially be starting a new Castimonia meeting on Monday nights at Lifepath Church in the Northwest Houston area on June 2nd!  Location information is written below.
Beginning June 2, 2014
Monday Nights
Time: 7:00PM – 8:30PM
Location: Lifepath Church – Room 108
17703 W Little York Rd
Houston, TX 77084
281.855.0222
NEWLocationMap
This meeting should help alleviate the Monday night meeting in Katy and allow for more attendees from Northwest and North Houston to attend a Castimonia meeting.  We are currently working on a meeting in La Porte, TX as well.
Praise be to God, the father of our Lord Jesus Christ, for all He has done to grow His ministry!

Filed Under: General Meeting Information Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, castimonia, christian, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Houston, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, Lifepath Church, lust, masturbation, meeting, porn, pornography, pornstars, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual purity, trauma, TX

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Castimonia Restoration Ministry, Inc. is a 501c3 non-profit organization


This site is intended for individuals who struggle with maintaining sexual purity. This information is posted for individuals at various stages in their recovery, year 1 to year 30+; what applies to some, may not apply others. Spouses are encouraged to read this blog with the caveat that they may not agree with, understand, or know the reason for some items posted. As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

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