The next few posts on Castimonia.org will focus on former female pornstars that have come forward to burst the fantasy bubble and expose the harsh reality of the pornography industry. I urge everyone who reads this NOT to go searching on the internet for more information on these women as it would most likely bring up old ponographic content and constitute acting out. Be satisfied about what you read here and praise God for delivering these women from the bondage of the pornography industry.
Ex Porn Star C***** T***** Story
by shelleylubben| Mon, 10/10/2011 – 3:51pm
Former porn star V******* speaks out on her career in porn and the permanent damage it has caused her. V******* was active in the porn industry from 2003-2004 and did about 60 hardcore films. She is now on a mission to speak out about the harms of pornography.
SL: How were you first introduced to the sex industry?
V: Through a girlfriend I had who stripped.
SL: What did you think the sex industry could offer you?
V: Glamour and a sense of purpose with men. I wanted attention like my girlfriends received in high school. I was looked over for most of the part. I wasn’t the homecoming queen.
SL: Tell us about your first experience with the porn world.
V: I won a contest in a Hustler magazine that I entered almost as a joke and suddenly I was off to LA. Someone who worked with Hustler set me up with Derrick Hey with LA Direct Models and I moved into his house along with other porn stars. His house was so full that he moved one of the girls into a closet. Every porn star had to pay $700 a month to stay with him.
SL: Did you feel pressured by pornographers to do sex acts you wouldn’t have done before porn?
V: Yes. I swore I would never do anal and or interracial porn. I am not a racist but I don’t sleep with black men in my personal life and I don’t do anal. Just stomach turning…
SL: Which sex acts were you coerced into doing?
V: I finally broken down after being pressured and did anal and a scene with a black guy.
SL: Who was your agent? Were you pressured to do sex acts you didn’t agree to?
V: D****** H** with LA Direct Models was my agent and he pressured me to do anal. He even booked me to do an anal with him so I packed up my bags and left his house.
SL: What was your worst experience in porn?
V: When I did a scene for Red Light District, V**** V**** gave me a ride to the set and he asked me for “(triggering sexual reference removed)”. He called me a whore and told me I had to do it. So I did. When I arrived to the set I expected to do a vaginal girl boy scene. But during the scene with male porn star E*** E*******, he forced himself anally into me and would not stop. I yelled at him to stop and screamed no over and over but he would not stop. The pain became too much and I was in shock and my body went limp. I couldn’t fight him off anymore. After the scene, they wouldn’t give me a ride home. I called a taxi and went to a medical clinic to check me out due to the severe pain I was in. A day later I received a phone call from V**** to keep my mouth shut about the rape. He threatened me that I didn’t know who I was messing with and that his edited footage of what happened would prove me a liar. When I went to Red Light District to get my check, I was only paid for vaginal, not the anal rape. The anal scene was so traumatizing that I hid out for six weeks.
SL: Were you offered drugs and alcohol?
V: I did not do any drugs… I don’t use alcohol. I performed sober. I was never around drugs and only around alcohol at parties. I rarely attended those. I didn’t do any of it before getting into the industry and I never had a desire to use drugs and alcohol regardless. Thank God. He watched over me in that respect.
SL: Did you feel pressured to change your looks?
V: Yes… incredibly. And it became an obsession to always measure up and now I am lost in myself trying to measure up to who I think I could have been. Very emotionally disturbing actually.
SL: Describe any abuse you saw going on during a porn production.
V: I can only say that a lot of men in that industry don’t like women to begin with. I am not saying all of them don’t but a lot don’t and they could care less about the level of degradation they place on women.
SL: What is your experience with STDs?
V: By the grace of God I didn’t catch an STD… I tested regularly through AIM, however, when a performer I worked with caught an STD, I was given a pill to prevent me from getting sick.
SL: Do you feel you were educated by the porn industry about STDs?
V: I feel that they have a way of making you feel like a sex soldier and that you are exempt of the true risk that exists of contracting HIV. It was the last thought that crossed my mind when I worked. I know of someone who contracted it during the last outbreak. It is heartbreaking. I would love to see nothing more than the industry protecting the performers’ lives and mandating condoms. They can use clear ones and protect lives. The pornographers aren’t the victims when it comes to the STDS. The performers are.
SL: Were you educated about your rights as an employee to a safe and healthful workplace?
V: Absolutely not.
SL: Describe your work environment. Did you feel it was a safe and healthful workplace?
V: I was under the illusion that porn was safe until someone I met contracted HIV and it hit me that it could have been me at any given time and that we are not sex soldiers and not exempt from the perils and pitfalls that could happen as a result of unprotected sex.
SL: Were you afraid you would catch STDS or HIV?
V: Not at the time because I was told I would be kept safe. I actually thought Sharon Mitchell was doing the best she could to protect performers. But at the same time there are NO guarantees that you will be spared from STDs or contracting HIV and that it can be you getting the positive test result at any time in an industry that allows for unprotected sex.
SL: V*******, did you ever enjoy making porn?
V: I only enjoyed the opportunities that arose such as appearing on the Howard Stern show. I never had an orgasm. I only acted. It was a big act. And the act got uglier with being raped by Red Light district. I don’t even like sex anymore because I can’t find someone that doesn’t abuse me on one level or another and they think it’s ok because I was a porn star and that their abuse is justified. No abuse is justified.
SL: How did you get out of porn?
V: The very last scene I shot with Evil Angel and it was an interracial scene. I didn’t want to do it but after the anal scene, I was told I wouldn’t work again after V****’s threats and lies so I really had no choice. I did the scene with the black male porn star on a Thursday and the director tried to book me again on Monday with the same performer. I ended up getting on a plane going back home because I had enough. It was truly God watching over me because I learned that the male performer worked with someone who was on the first generation watch list for the HIV outbreak that occurred the day before that scene was booked. That’s how close I was to HIV. I cried my eyes out.
SL: How are you treated now that you are out of porn?
V: I am treated absolutely horrific!!! Porn has left a permanent stain on my life. I have been harassed by boyfriends because of my porn past. I am discriminated against in my community when applying for jobs and sometimes on levels that are illegal. I deserve to be happy in life and not harassed by people who are threatened by my past. I also don’t deserve to be slandered, I don’t slander others, I don’t deserve it.
SL: What message would you give to other aspiring porn stars?
V: I would say that it isn’t all glamour and there may be times that you could find yourself being coerced or violated and that you could contract HIV and you can wind up empty and soul less and alone in life…like me. And that the stigma and finger waving will follow you for the rest of your life. You could spend your life being harassed like I am. It isn’t fun by any means. It’s only made me hateful where I never used to be hateful. I am a product of what can happen to girls. I go to bed alone at night. I don’t have many friends. I never once thought people would act so incredibly sick in the head over my porn past.
SL: What message would you give to men viewing porn?
V: That women are NOT objects and we don’t want to have our insides pounded out and we don’t want to be degraded and that we are real people with real hearts and real personalities. It’s sick that porn viewers want to watch women being violated. The people I know who are obsessed with sex and porn and orgies are Lawyers Doctors Dentists and Judges, the people in position who society thinks so much of while they secretly get off to violent and degrading porn. These are the people who need to seek treatment and the ones that society are programmed to think so highly of. I know a dentist who has a porn collection and him and his wife take their office staff to Mexico and they have orgies. They tried to brand me a prostitute because I made porn when they are the hypocrites with the sexual addiction and even bully their office staff into sexual acts because of their sexual and porn addiction. This is the kind of thing that happens in the real world. Porn addiction is real and it damages lives.
SL: Thank you V******* for being honest and so courageous to share your story and experience in porn. I know it wasn’t easy but I am sure you will help many people learn the truth about porn and the damage it forever causes in the lives of women who work in porn. We are blessed to have you join with Pink Cross Foundation in the war against porn. May God continue to watch over you and bless you for standing for truth.
Call to Action to the readers: Please stop viewing porn and stop contributing to damaging women’s lives. Please instead pray fervently for the women who are abused in porn that God would heal their lives and do above and beyond all they could ask or think (Ephesians 3:20).