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Healing the Father Wound, Part 2 – VIDEO

Please see Healing the Father Wound, Part 1 for a background on this movie.

Part two of the video more of the healing portion of these childhood wounds.  This second part revolves around her slow healing process right up until the end where she watches the movie version of her Mary Poppins books.  I won’t give too much information as I would rather you watch the video and read my comments.

I hope you enjoy watching this movie as much as I enjoyed editing it.  Keep an eye out for the comments I make throughout the film.

FAIR USE NOTICE: This video may contain copyrighted material. Such material is made available for purposes such as criticism, comment, teaching, & education, etc. This constitutes a ’fair use’ of any such copyrighted material as provided for in Title 17 U.S.C. section 107 of the US Copyright Law NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED! All trademarks and copyrights remain the property of their owners.

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Not In Control

imagesca529z9uaddictionPeople with an addiction do not have control over what they are doing, taking or using. Their addiction may reach a point at which it is harmful. Addictions do not only include physical things we consume, such as drugs or alcohol, but may include virtually anything, such abstract things as gambling to seemingly harmless products, such as chocolate – in other words, addiction may refer to a substance dependence (e.g. drug addiction) or behavioral addiction (e.g. gambling addiction). In the past addiction used to refer just to psychoactive substances that cross the blood-brain barrier, temporarily altering the chemical balance of the brain; this would include alcohol, tobacco, and some drugs. A considerable number of psychologists, other health care professionals, and lay people now insist that psychological dependency, as may be the case with gambling, sex, internet, work, exercise, etc. should also be counted as addictions, because they can also lead to feelings of guilt, shame, hopelessness, despair, failure, rejection, anxiety, and/or humiliation. When a person is addicted to something they cannot control how they use it, and become dependent on it to cope with daily life. What is the difference between a habit and an addiction? Addiction – there is a psychological/physical component; the person is unable to control the aspects of the addiction without help because of the mental or physical conditions involved. Habit – it is done by choice. The person with the habit can choose to stop, and will subsequently stop successfully if they want to. The psychological/physical component is not an issue as it is with an addiction. Put simply – with a habit you are in control of your choices, with an addiction you are not in control of your choices.
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/info/addiction/

“Shame was an emotion he had abandoned years earlier. Addicts know no shame. You disgrace yourself so many times you become immune to it.” – John Grisham

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Healing the Father Wound, Part 1 – VIDEO

I recently had the pleasure of watching the movie “Saving Mr. Banks”.  For those that do not know this movie, it is the story of the struggle between P. L. Travers (played by Emma Thompson) and Walt Disney (played by Tom Hanks) in the creation of the movie version of Travers’ Mary Poppins books.  As I watched this movie, my recovery senses were tingling.  I had no idea what this movie was going to be about, much less an expectation of a much deeper meaning that would bring up my father wound and literally bring me to tears by the end of the movie (I love being able to feel these strong emotions and not stuff them deep down).  You see, P. L. Travers, formally named Helen Goff, grew up in rural Australia with an alcoholic father.  The childhood part of the story takes place in 1906, the “current events” portion where she is reviewing the Disney script takes place in 1961.

From this movie, I was able to see how deep the “father wound” ran in P. L. Travers.  Being the daughter of an alcoholic, she grew up to be what I call a “control freak” which basically means she needs to control everything and everyone around her in order to feel “safe.”  This control extended to the use of her Mary Poppins character by Walt Disney.  There are so many examples of her woundedness that I had to break up the original two hour movie into two 30 minute videos.  I highly encourage you to watch the movie in its entirety.  It is a great example of the father wound that all fathers can inflict on their children, some shallow, but for Helen Goff, some very, very deep. The reality that P. L. Travers, as an adult, was acting out for most of her life, trying to find healing for her father wound is unfortunately outside the scope of this movie.  Nevertheless, it is worth researching and only adds more proof of the depth of which P. L. Travers experienced her father wound.

Part one of the video is mainly the wounds being inflicted on Helen as a child and then bubbling to the surface (acting out with anger, control, manipulation, etc…) as she reviews all the story boards and music associated with the Mary Poppins movie.  I hope you enjoy watching this movie as much as I enjoyed editing it.  Keep an eye out for the comments I make throughout the film.

FAIR USE NOTICE: This video may contain copyrighted material. Such material is made available for purposes such as criticism, comment, teaching, & education, etc. This constitutes a ’fair use’ of any such copyrighted material as provided for in Title 17 U.S.C. section 107 of the US Copyright Law NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED! All trademarks and copyrights remain the property of their owners.

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Tips for When Your Spouse is Struggling or Your Child Sees Porn

http://purehope.net/tips-for-spouses-and-parents/

Posted on August 21, 2013 at 5:58 pm.

by Dave Brown

How can I help my spouse or friend recover from sexual addiction?

  • Educate yourself about addiction so you can be an encourager and avoid enabling behavior that delays recovery.
  • Spouses are strongly recommended to participate in spousal support groups for those married to individuals recovering from addiction.
  • See our recommended resources for information and places to start.
  • Ultimately, God’s redemption is the only cure for addiction. Surrender and fervent prayer to our Rock and our Help is the best support you can offer.

How can I be a proactive parent in our sex-saturated society?

  • Employ age-appropriate strategies to teach your children that sex is a beautiful gift from God that is to be respected and protected.
  • Inform them about the risks involved in premarital sexual activity, as well as the harmful nature of pornography and the consequences of consuming it.
  • Protect your children by equipping all computers and cell phones with Internet filters and monitoring software.
  • Cultivate open and honest communication with your children so that they know without doubt that they can speak to you about any subject without fear, guilt, or shame.
  • Engage with them and encourage them.  Click here for posts on how to develop ongoing dialogue with your kids.

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Courage to Heal

Courage to Heal
(By John Joseph*)

The recovery process is an active one that demands a lot from me. It isn’t a passive progression that happens on its own—I must be a daily, and often aggressive, participant. I don’t like that, but it is true.

To deny my responsibility to pursue wholeness in the areas of my broken soul is to give my past power to destroy me through addiction, depression, and shame.

Am I going to let that happen?

The terrible truth is that there’s something in me that works against me. Call it my “addict,” my “disease,” my “inner child,” or the “devil.” Its name doesn’t matter. It’s still out to take me down in any way it can.

John Mayer wrote some poignant lyrics about this in his song Gravity:

Gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down
Oh I’ll never know what makes this man
With all the love that his heart can stand
Dream of ways to throw it all away[1]

How many of us survivors have found ourselves on the edge of the emotional cliff, ready to jump off again? How many times have we acted out the same demeaning behavior only to go down the shame spiral again? Why do we feel the constant weight of what Mayer calls gravity in our bones that brings us to the brink, again and again, of throwing it all away?

Our various faith traditions may call it karma, fate, fortune, or sin. Whatever it is, it will gain the upper hand and destroy me if I am lazy or unmindful of it.

To recover is to have the courage to heal every day.

(*John Joseph is a pseudonym of a pastor. He’s a regular contributor to this blog.)

*****

[1] Writer(s): John Mayer Copyright: Reach Music Publishing-digital O.B.O. Goodium Music, Specific Harm Music, Sony/ATV Tunes LLC