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Recovery Articles

July 14, 2019 By Castimonia

How People With Depression Interact With The World Differently

SOURCE:  Lindsay Holmes

The condition has a huge impact on everyday life.

Nothing about depression is easy. But the way it affects a person’s daily life is arguably the most difficult part of the disorder.

Approximately 300 million people globally are affected by depression, according to the World Health Organization. Not only does it create emotional health issues, like excessive rumination and lack of motivation, but it also causes physical health problems, like headaches and trouble eating. It can also cause fatigue, irritability and difficulty concentrating.

The reality is that these symptoms all have a significant effect on routines, from running errands to social situations to even just going to sleep. As with any medical issue, the more knowledge you’re armed with, the better. That’s why we rounded up just some of the ways depression influences a person’s day-to-day life.

Below are a few ways people with the disorder interact differently with the world compared to their peers:

People with depression often ignore routine appointments.

For most, haircuts or dermatologist visits are expected blips on the calendar. However, depression can make these events feel like monumental tasks.

A case in point is a heartbreaking account from Kate Langman, a Wisconsin-based hairstylist. Her Facebook post  went viral after she shared the story of a client with depression who came into the salon.

“She couldn’t get out of her bed for 6 months. Which meant she didn’t wash her hair or brush it,” Langman wrote.

Going to a simple, menial appointment is often one of the biggest victories.

They might snooze more than most.

Depression often leads to increased fatigue and irregular sleep patterns. This means that those living with the disorder may sleep more than usual or even experience insomnia.

This might not sound so bad in theory: Naps are awesome, right? But as writer Cory Steig put it in a Refinery29 post, napping when dealing with depression is more draining than anything:

[Y]ou know you’re probably not going to wake up refreshed and energized enough to take on the task you’re supposed to be doing instead of taking a nap.

They might leave work to-do lists unfinished.

The mental health disorder can take a toll on a person’s work performance. Symptoms like a lack of motivation or energy can prevent an individual with the condition from accomplishing tasks.

Or, the illness can keep people out of the office altogether: Employees with the condition miss approximately four workdays every three months due to its effects, according to data from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Serious mental illness costs the country more than $190 billion in lost earnings every year.

People living with depression may avoid fun activities.

Depression can cause a lack of interest in thing people once found pleasurable. That could mean going to parties, participating in sports or even engaging in sex is no longer the norm.

“Depression makes your life dramatically different,” Dr. John Greden, executive director of the University of Michigan Comprehensive Depression Center, previously told HuffPost.

Depression makes them see things through a glass half empty.

The condition often makes the person living with it see everything from a pessimistic perspective.

“Depression is a negative view of self, of the world and of the future,” Greden said. “Everything is sort of being seen through dark-colored glasses … It’s pretty common, when people are depressed, for them to think that no one understands them ― and that’s a really tough place to be.”

People with depression have brains that are more prone to stress.

While some cases of depression can be acute and circumstantial (i.e. getting laid off of a job or going through a trauma), others can be more biological in nature. Research suggests depression can be influenced by environmental and genetic factors. A 2014 study even found that depression might make that person’s brain more susceptible to psychological stress.

In other words, the condition isn’t just something they “made up” or can “get over” so quickly. It’s a physiological issue that requires care.

Depression makes them want to push others away.

A common side effect of depression is changes to relationships. People living with the disorder may start to withdraw from their friends and family, and the mood symptoms may cause them to become irritable or angry.

That being said, a little encouragement can go a long way. Reader Avarie Downs, who identifies as having high-functioning depression, points out that even just an affectionate gesture can make a huge difference:

I wish he knew how overwhelming being sad during a depressive state is … sometimes it would be really nice to get a hug, instead of just the cold shoulder and being ignored because it is difficult to understand. Support is worth more than words could ever say.

Experts also recommend letting people with depression know that they’re not alone. Offering to listen to them talk about their experience or accompanying them to therapy can also help.

People with depression may need to see doctors more regularly.

Depression not only needs to be treated by a professional, but it also could put the person at a greater risk for other illnesses. So seeing doctors, between primary care physicians or mental health workers, on a more regular basis is so key when it comes to managing the condition.

“Depression is a common problem,” Ken Duckworth, medical director of the National Alliance on Mental Illness, previously told HuffPost. “There shouldn’t be shame in seeking help for that. People wouldn’t feel shamed if they got help for a broken arm. Depression is much like that. It’s treatable and you should tend to it.”

Ultimately, depression ― just like any other medical illness ― alters a person’s daily existence. And the more people keep that in mind, the less stigma and more understanding there will be about what it means to live with the disorder.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, alcoholic, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, trauma

July 10, 2019 By Castimonia

Christ In You

Paul said, “It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me” (Gal. 2:20). The apostle sensed within himself not just the philosophy, ideals, or influence of Christ but the person of Jesus. Christ moved in. He still does. When grace happens, Christ enters. “Christ in you, the hope of glory” (Col. 1:27).

For many years I missed this truth. I believed all the other prepositions: Christ for me, with me, ahead of me. And I knew I was working beside Christ, under Christ, with Christ. But I never imagined that Christ was in me.

I can’t blame my deficiency on Scripture. Paul refers to this union 216 times. John mentions it 26 times. They describe a Christ who not only woos us to himself but “ones” us to himself. “Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God” (1 John 4:15, emphasis mine).

No other religion or philosophy makes such a claim. No other movement implies the living presence of its founder in his followers. Muhammad does not indwell Muslims. Buddha does not inhabit Buddhists. Hugh Hefner does not inhabit the pleasure-seeking hedonist. Influence? Instruct? Entice? Yes. But occupy? No.

Yet Christians embrace this inscrutable promise. “The mystery in a nutshell is just this: Christ is in you” (Col. 1:27 MSG). The Christian is a person in whom Christ is happening.

We are Jesus Christ’s; we belong to him. But even more, we are increasingly him. He moves in and commandeers our hands and feet, requisitions our minds and tongues. We sense his rearranging: debris into the divine, pig’s ear into silk purse. He repurposes bad decisions and squalid choices. Little by little a new image emerges. “He decided from the outset to shape the lives of those who love him along the same lines as the life of his Son” (Rom. 8:29 MSG).

Today’s devotional is drawn from Max Lucado’s Next Door Savior.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, alcoholic, call girls, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, trauma

July 9, 2019 By K.LeVeq

Tonight’s Meeting in Searcy, AR is MOVED

Tonight’s meeting in Searcy, AR will be held at an alternate location. Join us at 7 pm at 1903 E Beebe Capps Expressway, Searcy, AR 72143.

Filed Under: General Meeting Information, Meeting Topics, Sexual Purity Posts, Tuesday Night Meeting

July 6, 2019 By Castimonia

Sexual Addiction and Sexual Anorexia: Two Sides of the Same Coin?

By Crystal Nesfield, Trauma Therapist, Willow House at The Meadows

While the impact of sexual addiction is becoming more widely understood, and treatment for sexual addiction more widely available, the issues associated with sexual anorexia are often overlooked.

Sexual anorexia is a compulsive avoidance of giving or receiving social, sexual, or emotional nourishment. This is much like a food anorexia, in which a person refuses all nourishment through food, but instead of refusing food, people with sexual anorexia refuse to fulfill their need for intimacy.  Sexual anorexia and sexual addiction could be considered to be on opposite ends of the same spectrum. On one end of the spectrum, a person is sexually binging, while on the other end, a person is sexually restricting. However, the two are actually very similar in some ways. Both conditions can lead the person to experience powerlessness over their behaviors, and consequences for their behaviors and both can impact every aspect of a person’s life. Additionally, both conditions share the tendency for the person to have obsessive thoughts about sex. A person with sexual anorexia has obsessive thinking around the avoidance of sex and intimacy. A person with a sexual addiction has obsessive thoughts around obtaining sexual gratification.

A person with sexual anorexia may experience an uncontrollable need to avoid sexual behaviors at all costs. This often leads to self-destructive patterns and negative impacts on their relationships. A person with sexual anorexia may experience depression, restlessness, irritability or anxiety when engaging in sexual contact, or when faced with the possibility of engaging in an intimate relationship. Interestingly, however, the person with sexual addiction often faces the same emotional consequences when abstaining from sexual contact. And both the person who is compulsively engaging in sexual behavior and the person who is compulsively avoiding sexual behavior may have rigid or judgmental beliefs about their sexuality that they attempt to overcome through their behaviors.

Also, both sexual anorexia and sexual addiction can have similar origins. Either condition can manifest in a person who has grown up in an environment where sex was believed to be shameful, and/or where they experienced sexual abuse or exploitation. Many types of trauma also often lead to distorted beliefs pertaining to sex. Both people with sexual addiction and people with sexual anorexia may be attempting to control unresolved trauma or uncontrolled feelings by either bingeing on sexual behaviors or depriving themselves of intimacy.

By abstaining from intimate relationships and isolating themselves, a person with sexual anorexia is attempting to protect themselves from further harm. This person may go to extreme lengths to avoid relationships. This could include self-mutilation or adjusting their appearance. A person with sexual addiction may go to extreme lengths to engage in sexual behaviors, such as exposure to disease or bodily harm.

With both sexual addiction and sexual anorexia, a person has difficulty forming healthy, intimate relationships, and both feature symptoms of a deeper issue the person may be experiencing and need to be addressed through the appropriate treatment. This may include attending a 12-step meeting focusing on compulsive sexual behaviors, such as SLAA or SAA, and working with a qualified therapist. By engaging in treatment for sexual anorexia, a person can begin to form healthy relationships and have a more fulfilling life.

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Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, human trafficking, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitute, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, trauma

July 5, 2019 By K.LeVeq

Humility

By Keith B., NotUnknown.com

I grew up in rural south Mississippi in the 70’s and 80’s. Recognition and self worth came from prowess in football, baseball, basketball…any sport. Sixty percent of the males in my class tried out for football. Five percent or less signed up for advanced math or qualified for the honor society or sang in the choir or auditioned for school plays. I ached to achieve in sports. Unfortunately, my physical gifts remained limited to above the neck. My football coach accurately captured my potential this way:

“Son, you are blessed to be a dual threat athlete…short AND slow.”

Obviously, seeking my identity from sports accolades wasn’t an option. Academics and intelligence became my currency for self worth.

I sought attention by identifying as an intellectual. Not a popular option in my small town. Self worth tied to what I knew and how I achieved. I felt superior from being smarter, making better grades, reading voraciously. My pride in my intelligence manifested as self made not God made. I took on the characteristics of a Pharisee, identifying obscure and unimportant positions I could lord over others.

Like the Pharisees, I intellectually understood who God was and what “belonging to God” meant. I professed to follow Him. Openly claimed I had ceded my life and will to Him. I knew Him. Like I knew the authors of the books I read…William Faulkner, Stephen King, John Grisham, Tom Clancy. I knew them. Only…like God…they didn’t know me.

Step 7 says “We humbly ask Him to remove all our shortcomings.”

To be ready for this step, I first had to learn what that word meant…humbly. Humility is defined as being unpretentious in comparison to someone else. Not a word that had been used to define me throughout most of my life. After my own rock bottom, pride was one of the character defects that God immediately removed from my life. I believed that my own importance was below everyone else. Exactly the opposite of where I had been before. I went from thinking my own importance was above everyone to believing I was the lowest on earth.

James 4:10 reminds me to “humble yourself before the Lord and He will lift you up.” God made me who I am. When I am living out His purpose in my life, I am making the most of the gifts and talents He gave me. I am fearfully and wonderfully made in His image. I am not the lowest on earth. But I have to humble myself before Him…truly submit to Him. In doing so, I am giving Him dominion over my life, asking Him to remove my flaws, and to allow me to use the assets He created in me.

God made you. Have you submitted to Him, asking Him to remove your junk? To highlight your gifts and talents He gave you? Are you stepping into His purpose for your life?

Humility isn’t the absence of strength or pride. Its submitting to the one who gives you strength, who created you in His own image, and who has a true purpose for you.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, humility, Jesus Christ, recovery, step 7

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This site is intended for individuals who struggle with maintaining sexual purity. This information is posted for individuals at various stages in their recovery, year 1 to year 30+; what applies to some, may not apply others. Spouses are encouraged to read this blog with the caveat that they may not agree with, understand, or know the reason for some items posted. As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

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