CASTIMONIA

Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

sex addict

By

Healing the Father Wound, Part 1 – VIDEO

I recently had the pleasure of watching the movie “Saving Mr. Banks”.  For those that do not know this movie, it is the story of the struggle between P. L. Travers (played by Emma Thompson) and Walt Disney (played by Tom Hanks) in the creation of the movie version of Travers’ Mary Poppins books.  As I watched this movie, my recovery senses were tingling.  I had no idea what this movie was going to be about, much less an expectation of a much deeper meaning that would bring up my father wound and literally bring me to tears by the end of the movie (I love being able to feel these strong emotions and not stuff them deep down).  You see, P. L. Travers, formally named Helen Goff, grew up in rural Australia with an alcoholic father.  The childhood part of the story takes place in 1906, the “current events” portion where she is reviewing the Disney script takes place in 1961.

From this movie, I was able to see how deep the “father wound” ran in P. L. Travers.  Being the daughter of an alcoholic, she grew up to be what I call a “control freak” which basically means she needs to control everything and everyone around her in order to feel “safe.”  This control extended to the use of her Mary Poppins character by Walt Disney.  There are so many examples of her woundedness that I had to break up the original two hour movie into two 30 minute videos.  I highly encourage you to watch the movie in its entirety.  It is a great example of the father wound that all fathers can inflict on their children, some shallow, but for Helen Goff, some very, very deep. The reality that P. L. Travers, as an adult, was acting out for most of her life, trying to find healing for her father wound is unfortunately outside the scope of this movie.  Nevertheless, it is worth researching and only adds more proof of the depth of which P. L. Travers experienced her father wound.

Part one of the video is mainly the wounds being inflicted on Helen as a child and then bubbling to the surface (acting out with anger, control, manipulation, etc…) as she reviews all the story boards and music associated with the Mary Poppins movie.  I hope you enjoy watching this movie as much as I enjoyed editing it.  Keep an eye out for the comments I make throughout the film.

FAIR USE NOTICE: This video may contain copyrighted material. Such material is made available for purposes such as criticism, comment, teaching, & education, etc. This constitutes a ’fair use’ of any such copyrighted material as provided for in Title 17 U.S.C. section 107 of the US Copyright Law NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED! All trademarks and copyrights remain the property of their owners.

By

Tips for When Your Spouse is Struggling or Your Child Sees Porn

http://purehope.net/tips-for-spouses-and-parents/

Posted on August 21, 2013 at 5:58 pm.

by Dave Brown

How can I help my spouse or friend recover from sexual addiction?

  • Educate yourself about addiction so you can be an encourager and avoid enabling behavior that delays recovery.
  • Spouses are strongly recommended to participate in spousal support groups for those married to individuals recovering from addiction.
  • See our recommended resources for information and places to start.
  • Ultimately, God’s redemption is the only cure for addiction. Surrender and fervent prayer to our Rock and our Help is the best support you can offer.

How can I be a proactive parent in our sex-saturated society?

  • Employ age-appropriate strategies to teach your children that sex is a beautiful gift from God that is to be respected and protected.
  • Inform them about the risks involved in premarital sexual activity, as well as the harmful nature of pornography and the consequences of consuming it.
  • Protect your children by equipping all computers and cell phones with Internet filters and monitoring software.
  • Cultivate open and honest communication with your children so that they know without doubt that they can speak to you about any subject without fear, guilt, or shame.
  • Engage with them and encourage them.  Click here for posts on how to develop ongoing dialogue with your kids.

By

Courage to Heal

Courage to Heal
(By John Joseph*)

The recovery process is an active one that demands a lot from me. It isn’t a passive progression that happens on its own—I must be a daily, and often aggressive, participant. I don’t like that, but it is true.

To deny my responsibility to pursue wholeness in the areas of my broken soul is to give my past power to destroy me through addiction, depression, and shame.

Am I going to let that happen?

The terrible truth is that there’s something in me that works against me. Call it my “addict,” my “disease,” my “inner child,” or the “devil.” Its name doesn’t matter. It’s still out to take me down in any way it can.

John Mayer wrote some poignant lyrics about this in his song Gravity:

Gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down
Oh I’ll never know what makes this man
With all the love that his heart can stand
Dream of ways to throw it all away[1]

How many of us survivors have found ourselves on the edge of the emotional cliff, ready to jump off again? How many times have we acted out the same demeaning behavior only to go down the shame spiral again? Why do we feel the constant weight of what Mayer calls gravity in our bones that brings us to the brink, again and again, of throwing it all away?

Our various faith traditions may call it karma, fate, fortune, or sin. Whatever it is, it will gain the upper hand and destroy me if I am lazy or unmindful of it.

To recover is to have the courage to heal every day.

(*John Joseph is a pseudonym of a pastor. He’s a regular contributor to this blog.)

*****

[1] Writer(s): John Mayer Copyright: Reach Music Publishing-digital O.B.O. Goodium Music, Specific Harm Music, Sony/ATV Tunes LLC

By

Recovery Themes in Disney Animated Movies – VIDEO

I often wonder, of all the movies I have viewed in my life, how many of these movies had a recovery-related theme.  It wasn’t until entering recovery that the Holy Spirit gave me some special “recovery glasses” that have allowed me to spot recovery themes in various media; music, movies, photographs, etc…  These themes can include support groups, honesty, selfishness, selflessness, redemption, etc… that are portrayed in the movie.

I’m a big fan of animated movies, I think Disney (and others) have done a tremendous job of inserting some of these themes in their movies so I picked out a few of the movies and decided to compile them into one film.  Of course, because of the numerous amount of Disney movies out there and my limited time, I only chose four of these movies, of which I recall vividly. The first, “Wreck-it Ralph” is one of my favorites, showing good recovery and support, a trauma response, and self sacrifice.  The second, Monsters University, has a scene where friends become real with one another, something you rarely see outside of recovery rooms. The third, “Finding Nemo” is a classic “Father wound” (yes I cried), trauma response, recovery meeting, and relationship trust movie.  Finally, I picked out one short scene from a non-Disney movie, “Despicable Me 2.” You’ll understand why I chose it when you see it.

I hope you enjoy watching this video as much as I enjoyed creating it.  As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

FAIR USE NOTICE: This video may contain copyrighted material. Such material is made available for purposes such as criticism, comment, teaching, & education, etc. This constitutes a ’fair use’ of any such copyrighted material as provided for in Title 17 U.S.C. section 107 of the US Copyright Law NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED! All trademarks and copyrights remain the property of their owners.

By

Reenacting the Fall

http://www.ransomedheart.com/daily-reading/reenacting-fall

The story of Eden is not over.” Every day we reenact the Fall as we turn in our desire to the very things that will destroy us. As Gerald May reminds us, Addiction exists wherever persons are internally compelled to give energy to things that are not their true desires. To define it directly, addiction is a state of compulsion, obsession, or preoccupation that enslaves a person’s will and desire. Addiction sidetracks and eclipses the energy of our deepest, truest desire for love and goodness. (Addiction and Grace)

Addiction may seem too strong a term to some of you. The woman who is serving so faithfully at church—surely, there’s nothing wrong with that. And who can blame the man who stays long at the office to provide for his family? Sure, you may look forward to the next meal more than most people do, and your hobbies can be a nuisance sometimes, but to call any of this an addiction seems to stretch the word a bit too far.

I have one simple response: give it up. Let go of the things that provide you with a sense of security, or comfort, or excitement, or relief. You will soon discover the tentacles of attachment deep in your soul. There will be an anxiousness; you’ll begin to think about work or food or golf even more. Withdrawal will set in. If you can make it a week or two out of sheer willpower, you will find a sadness growing in your soul, a deep sense of loss. Lethargy and a lack of motivation follow.

Remember, we will make an idol of anything, especially a good thing. So distant now from Eden, we are desperate for life, and we come to believe that we must arrange for it as best we can, or no one will. God must thwart us to save us.