CASTIMONIA

Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

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Admitting You’re Wrong

Most people who are addicted to being right never even get to this point. They never become conscious of the fact that they may just possibly have a flaw. As my late father would say, “I am never wrong, except when I think I am wrong.” He was addicted to being right, but never admitted it. It’s too bad because character flaws definitely make life more difficult. You might agree that they make like more interesting too, but life is interesting enough without having a lot of baggage to carry around. It is far wiser to release your own and observe the flaws of others. So ask yourself this unusual question: How is addicted to being right useful? Every flaw serves a purpose. Your mind doesn’t bother going through the trouble of obsessing about being right without some perceived payback. What is the reward? Addicted to being right often signals the need to tread lightly. It shows that the person has issues. One might be trying to save face or hold on to self-esteem. What ever the reason is for you, next time you are caught being addicted to being right, try a new tact. Try seeing it as an opportunity to admit you’re wrong. Admitting you are wrong shows you’re human. Admitting you are wrong is a way of being real with people. Admitting you are wrong requires less maintenance. How often have you met someone who demanded perfection of themselves. These unfortunate types flip-flop between demanding perfection and giving up. They demand so much of themselves that they prime themselves for failure. Accepting our own imperfections requires honesty. Admitting you are wrong is associated with high self-esteem. Self-esteem is that feeling of value you place on yourself based on your view of your past history, your body, and your thoughts. On a deeper level it has to do with who you believe you are in the depths of your being. People with high self-esteem are rarely addicted to being right. By Louis Tartaglia, M.D.
http://www.tartaglia.com/pages/admitting.html

Those who never retract their opinions love themselves more than they love truth. Joseph Jouber

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How I Am Finding Healing From My Anger – Pt.2

http://porntopurity.com/blog/2013/08/30/how-i-am-finding-healing-from-my-anger-pt-2/
by Jeff Fisher on August 30, 2013

notangrySURRENDERING MY ANGER AND HURTS TO GOD This began with writing in my notebook. My counselor encouraged me to begin writing down my hurts and bring them to God in prayer. I did quite an inventory of the hurts of my past and present and filled my notebook up. It was a great tool. It helped me start praying to God, getting His understanding, and His view of the hurt. I felt His touch on each hurt instantly. My hurts were once in vivid color in my mind, and after surrendering them to God, they became a pale black and white memory.

I am still discovering hurts and using this exercise. I still have to bring some of the old hurts back to God and surrender to Him for a deeper healing.

big_foot_print1PUTTING MYSELF IN OTHERS’ SHOES This has been a very recent addition to my healing. I try and think about the pain my action caused others. I was hurt by others, yes. But my actions hurt many people. Others have had to suffer the consequences of my sexual sin. In my anger, I am just focused on myself. In recovery, I am learning to be concerned for the people that I hurt.

My intervention was painful and necessary. I have had to let go of anger at God and anger toward my mentors who intervened in my life. I am starting to think about how painful it was for them to do the right thing and confront me. It did not happen immediately. They waited a couple of weeks for an opportune time at the end of a Summer. It must have been excruciating for them. I know it was.

Thinking about what others had to go through, helps me get my eyes off of myself and onto the pain of others. It has helps me forgive. It also helps me move toward gratitude.

gratitudeGRATITUDE This is the granddaddy of healing! Being grateful for people, circumstances, and pain was something I thought impossible, even absurd. I was angry at God and others for messing up my life. I wanted justification. I wanted to teach others a lesson.

But God is helping me see differently now, and be thankful.

  • Thankful God is present, loves me, helps me, provides for me, gives me strength.
  • Thankful for the people who cared enough to confront me.
  • Thankful for my support group and accountability buddies.
  • Thankful for the pain that is helping me become more Christlike.
  • Thankful that I’m a new person now.
  • Thankful for the people who have stuck it out with me.
  • Thankful that our story is helping others.
  • Thankful that my present and future are in God’s hands.

WHAT ABOUT YOU? What things have helped you find healing from your anger? What advice would you give those in recovery who have a lot of anger?

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How I Am Finding Healing From My Anger – Pt.1

http://porntopurity.com/blog/2013/08/29/how-i-am-finding-healing-from-my-anger-pt-1/
by Jeff Fisher on August 29, 2013

angry_02It’s easy to blame someone and be mad at them. When my sexual addiction came out on the table, I was mad at everyone: myself, my wife, my parents, my mentors, my friends, God.

  • For some… I thought they were part of the problem
  • For some… I thought they had let me down
  • For some… I thought they forced me to lose my job and leave the area
  • For some… I thought they made me the way I am
  • For some… I felt their threats and expectations set me up for failure

I want to share some of the things that are helping me find healing from my anger. Maybe they will be an encouragement to you.

25452BP~Angry-Posters1. SHARING MY ANGER AND HURTS Sharing my anger was an important part of my recovery. I had hurts building up in my life, I was experiencing the hurt from the consequences of my sin, and I had hurts from the rejection and separation I was feeling.

Part of my working through this was sharing my anger with counselors, with friends, with those that had hurt me. I needed to get some of it off my chest. But getting there’s a fine line between “getting it off my chest” and “being vindictive”. My attitude many times was: I’m hurt, so I want others to hurt.

I had a pattern of not sharing my feelings and hurts, and had to learn to share them. Instead of “acting out” sexually, I began to talk with others about the junk in my life.

journal12. WRITING IT OUT I started carrying around a notebook with me. At first, it was to have a healthy outlet to work out my feelings and needs. I would write instead of “act out”. But notebook writing became a place for me to process my thoughts.

I can actually “work things out” in my notebook. I can hear myself think and get some clues to what’s going on inside.

3. HEARING OUR STORY Marsha and I have been interviewed by a few newspapers and podcasts. We’ve even done a few podcasts of our own. It’s always interesting to hear ourselves on a podcast. I can literally hear myself talk. I can hear my voice and the way I’m presenting my story.

I identify with me. I hear myself and think about my story. It’s like I’m on the outside looking in.

I also able to hear my voice and process things a little more objectively. When I’m hurt, I present MY side of the story. I represent ME and want others to see the hurt I went through or pity ME.

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Stuck In Fear

Anxiety is loving certainty. It is stressful to live in an anxious world, and learning to embrace uncertainty seems impossible to those suffering with anxiety. We must each find a strategy to help us shuttle back and forth between the comfort of what we know, and the discomfort of all that we don’t know to become healthy. Anxiety is about fear being in charge of most of your choices. Getting stuck in fear robs you of possibilities in your life. An example of this is when you are too afraid to make mistakes. Making mistakes is the lynchpin to learning, in fact we learn far more from our mistakes than our successes. If you have anxiety you must learn to use your thinking to balance your exaggerated feelings of fear. Courage is the ingredient that, if sprinkled on that world, would make all of us better people. Greater courage is the antidote to anxiety. Learn to imagine new ways to have courage and to make your world larger. Real courage always has fear attached. Fearless courage is only the foolishness of youth. Follow your curiosity and try new small steps out into the world instead of waiting for life to happen to you. Invite fear to take a back seat instead of driving the train. Fear and excitement always travel together. Remember being scared of learning to ride a bicycle and being excited at the same time? Learn to allow room for both emotions. Don’t let fear erase excitement. Growth depends on one foot being in the familiar and one foot in the unfamiliar… Confusion is the emotion that is crucial to “allowing room for change,” which is exactly why adolescents are both confused and changing. From “Anxiety, Control & Codependency” by Rhoda Mills Sommer, L.C.S.W. http://therapyideas.net/anxiety.htm

“The fear of becoming old is born of the recognition that one is not living now the life that one wishes. It is equivalent to a sense of abusing the present.” – Susan Sontag

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MONDAY, JULY 21st, MEETING LOCATION CHANGE

This change affects only the Monday night meeting on July 21st. The Fellowship at Cinco Ranch, where we normally meet, is having their Vacation Bible School (VBS) in the evenings the week of July 21st and all rooms are reserved for this week-long event.  Therefore, we need to move the Castimonia Katy meeting to another location close by.  Grace Fellowship UMC is very close, North of Westheimer Parkway, on the East side of Mason road just North of the Cinco Ranch Blvd light.  The meeting will return to the Fellowship at Cinco Ranch on Monday, July 28th.

Time: 7:00PM – 8:30PM
Location: Grace Fellowship United Methodist Church
Mansion, Room 203 (take the stairs or elevator to the 2nd floor)

2655 South Mason Road Katy, TX  77450
281.646.1903

The other option is to visit our Northwest Houston meeting at Lifepath Church. 
 
Monday Nights
 Time: 7:00PM – 8:30PM
Location: Lifepath Church – Room 108
17703 W Little York Rd
Houston, TX 77084
281.855.0222
NEWLocationMap