by Jeff Fisher on August 30, 2013
SURRENDERING MY ANGER AND HURTS TO GOD This began with writing in my notebook. My counselor encouraged me to begin writing down my hurts and bring them to God in prayer. I did quite an inventory of the hurts of my past and present and filled my notebook up. It was a great tool. It helped me start praying to God, getting His understanding, and His view of the hurt. I felt His touch on each hurt instantly. My hurts were once in vivid color in my mind, and after surrendering them to God, they became a pale black and white memory.
I am still discovering hurts and using this exercise. I still have to bring some of the old hurts back to God and surrender to Him for a deeper healing.
PUTTING MYSELF IN OTHERS’ SHOES This has been a very recent addition to my healing. I try and think about the pain my action caused others. I was hurt by others, yes. But my actions hurt many people. Others have had to suffer the consequences of my sexual sin. In my anger, I am just focused on myself. In recovery, I am learning to be concerned for the people that I hurt.
My intervention was painful and necessary. I have had to let go of anger at God and anger toward my mentors who intervened in my life. I am starting to think about how painful it was for them to do the right thing and confront me. It did not happen immediately. They waited a couple of weeks for an opportune time at the end of a Summer. It must have been excruciating for them. I know it was.
Thinking about what others had to go through, helps me get my eyes off of myself and onto the pain of others. It has helps me forgive. It also helps me move toward gratitude.
GRATITUDE This is the granddaddy of healing! Being grateful for people, circumstances, and pain was something I thought impossible, even absurd. I was angry at God and others for messing up my life. I wanted justification. I wanted to teach others a lesson.
But God is helping me see differently now, and be thankful.
- Thankful God is present, loves me, helps me, provides for me, gives me strength.
- Thankful for the people who cared enough to confront me.
- Thankful for my support group and accountability buddies.
- Thankful for the pain that is helping me become more Christlike.
- Thankful that I’m a new person now.
- Thankful for the people who have stuck it out with me.
- Thankful that our story is helping others.
- Thankful that my present and future are in God’s hands.
WHAT ABOUT YOU? What things have helped you find healing from your anger? What advice would you give those in recovery who have a lot of anger?