by Jeff Fisher on August 29, 2013

angry_02It’s easy to blame someone and be mad at them. When my sexual addiction came out on the table, I was mad at everyone: myself, my wife, my parents, my mentors, my friends, God.

  • For some… I thought they were part of the problem
  • For some… I thought they had let me down
  • For some… I thought they forced me to lose my job and leave the area
  • For some… I thought they made me the way I am
  • For some… I felt their threats and expectations set me up for failure

I want to share some of the things that are helping me find healing from my anger. Maybe they will be an encouragement to you.

25452BP~Angry-Posters1. SHARING MY ANGER AND HURTS Sharing my anger was an important part of my recovery. I had hurts building up in my life, I was experiencing the hurt from the consequences of my sin, and I had hurts from the rejection and separation I was feeling.

Part of my working through this was sharing my anger with counselors, with friends, with those that had hurt me. I needed to get some of it off my chest. But getting there’s a fine line between “getting it off my chest” and “being vindictive”. My attitude many times was: I’m hurt, so I want others to hurt.

I had a pattern of not sharing my feelings and hurts, and had to learn to share them. Instead of “acting out” sexually, I began to talk with others about the junk in my life.

journal12. WRITING IT OUT I started carrying around a notebook with me. At first, it was to have a healthy outlet to work out my feelings and needs. I would write instead of “act out”. But notebook writing became a place for me to process my thoughts.

I can actually “work things out” in my notebook. I can hear myself think and get some clues to what’s going on inside.

3. HEARING OUR STORY Marsha and I have been interviewed by a few newspapers and podcasts. We’ve even done a few podcasts of our own. It’s always interesting to hear ourselves on a podcast. I can literally hear myself talk. I can hear my voice and the way I’m presenting my story.

I identify with me. I hear myself and think about my story. It’s like I’m on the outside looking in.

I also able to hear my voice and process things a little more objectively. When I’m hurt, I present MY side of the story. I represent ME and want others to see the hurt I went through or pity ME.

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