CASTIMONIA

Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

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United We Stand – VIDEO

One of the things I have appreciated in my recovery is the ability to spot recovery-related items in Hollywood movies.  In the movie Gladiator, there is a scene where the gladiators must fight in the Colosseum in Rome replaying the Battle of Carthage.  Out numbered and overpowered by chariots, the gladiators, led by the outcast General Maximus Decimus Meridius, are commanded to “stay together” to survive.  As men in recovery, we have learned that we need to stay together, as part of the group, in order to battle the addiction.  For me, this translates to, making phone calls, attending meetings, sponsoring others, and reaching out to those that still struggle.  As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

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An Unwelcome Generational Gift

angry-familyProlonged, excessive chaos in the child’s home leads to brain and hormonal changes resulting in withdrawal due to fear and acting out. Later in life the earlier stressors show up in eating disorders, promiscuity, codependency and alcohol and drug abuse. Anger becomes an unwelcome generational gift that is passed down in families. Anger is a normal human response when our well-being is threatened. We all have anger when we feel betrayed and are unable to express the pain that we feel. Anger is made up of feelings, thoughts and physiological reactions, which includes adrenalin and cortisol release to prepare for action. While the feelings and physiological reactions cannot always be controlled, the thoughts and the behaviors can be modified and expressed in more acceptable ways. The research shows that anger is a normal response to betrayal and loss of basic trust in others. Anger also is a normal reaction to injustice, terror and feeling out of control. The innocence of the child is broken by acts of betrayal. What takes its place is fear and anger. The hurt child resolves not to trust again and creates barriers to further connection to others. All anger is not bad. Sometimes anger is a legitimate response to an injustice, which is used to bring momentum, which allows the person to make, needed changes in their life. At times anger is justified given an unfair situation where the energy that anger provides is needed to leave a bad situation. Anger can be used to protect yourself when you are terrorized. We need the energy that anger brings to get us to act and do something differently when we are stuck in bad circumstances. Other times, anger is just a bad habit to deal with the feelings of frustration because things are not going as the person wants. This article addresses the habitual type of destructive anger that harms family members and friends. From “So You Love An Angry Person” by Lynne Namka, Ed. D.
http://www.angriesout.com/family2.htm

“Anger is just anger. It isn’t good. It isn’t bad. It just is. What you do with it is what matters. It’s like anything else. You can use it to build or to destroy. You just have to make the choice.” – From “White Night” by Jim Butcher

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New Castimonia Meeting in Northwest Houston

I am humbled to announce that we will officially be starting a new Castimonia meeting on Monday nights at Lifepath Church in the Northwest Houston area on June 2nd!  Location information is written below.
Beginning June 2, 2014
Monday Nights
 Time: 7:00PM – 8:30PM
Location: Lifepath Church – Room 108
17703 W Little York Rd
Houston, TX 77084
281.855.0222
NEWLocationMap
This meeting should help alleviate the Monday night meeting in Katy and allow for more attendees from Northwest and North Houston to attend a Castimonia meeting.  We are currently working on a meeting in La Porte, TX as well.
Praise be to God, the father of our Lord Jesus Christ, for all He has done to grow His ministry!

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Narcissism and Sex Addiction

Posted on July 23, 2013 by

“I want you to tell my husband that he is a narcissist.” This statement is repeated in my office several times each year by partners of sex addicts. At the root of the comment is the fact that these partners have witnessed many selfish behaviors by the sex addict. They believe that must mean that the sex addict has narcissistic personality disorder.

Many sex addicts are very selfish. In fact, we could safely say that their behaviors are narcissistic. However, narcissistic personality disorder is a rare disorder that is present in less than 1% of the population. Thankfully, most sex addicts are not dually diagnosed as having narcissistic personality disorder.

But the fact remains that sex addicts can be very selfish. If you are a sex addict, try keeping a daily journal where you record instances of selfishness each day. Be sure to include any instances where your partner or someone else pointed out that you tend to think of yourself first.

Are you a narcissist? Maybe. Maybe not. What matters today is that you refocus your life so that you are not the center of your universe. Today is a day for selflessness instead of selfishness.

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Sioux Falls Man Gets 30 Years for Sex Trafficking

Teen testifies in court ‘I am not your victim; I am a survivor’

Jul. 16, 2013

bildeA Sioux Falls man was sentenced to 30 years in prison Monday after being found guilty earlier this year of forcing a teenage girl into prostitution.

Emmanuel Nyuon, 34, was facing a possible life sentence after being convicted in April of sex trafficking involving a minor and conspiracy to commit sex trafficking.

U.S. District Judge Karen Schreier said that Nyuon’s case didn’t warrant the maximum sentence because his offenses and the number of victims were not equal to two previous sex trafficking cases in which she sentenced the defendants to life in prison.

But Schreier said that even though Nyuon professes that he only was helping the women, his behavior was not the kind of help they needed in their vulnerable situations.

“These women did not need help in the sex-trade business, this kind of work does not help women,” Schreier said.

The defendant’s case began last year, when administrators from the online classified website backpage.com flagged a page offering escort services with what appeared to be an underage girl.

Undercover detectives, posing as johns, set up a date with the girl at the Hampton Inn in Sioux Falls. Nyuon was caught on video dropping off the girl, who was 14 years old.

That victim testified during Nyuon’s three-day trial that he had sex with her when she was too ill to fight back and had beaten her because of suspicions that she was pregnant. She said she had also been threatened with a Taser and an air pistol she thought to be a handgun.

During Monday’s hearing, James Eirinberg, Nyuon’s lawyer, said while his client admits to driving the victim to the hotel for money, a life sentence was not warranted for aiding and abetting in the crime.

Eirinberg also asked the judge for leniency in light of Nyuon’s difficult childhood as a refugee from Sudan. Eirinberg said his client suffered from sexual assault growing up and from never having a solid father figure in his life.

Schreier said she knows Nyuon had a difficult upbringing,  but he, too, became a sex offender at a fairly young age, and had treatment and the opportunity to help himself later on in life, so his past does not excuse his trafficking actions.

Nyuon also addressed the judge during the hearing, and said he is glad that the women who testified against him are getting help, but he qualified his involvement with them as “minimal” and said the victims “are not as innocent as they act.”

Assistant U.S. Attorney Jeff Clapper argued that Nyuon’s guise of trying to help the women instead of using and abusing them is why he should be incarcerated for life.

“There is no rehabilitating a man like this,” Clapper said.

The 14-year-old victim was in the courtroom during Nyuon’s sentencing, and read a statement about her ordeal with the defendant, and her subsequent recovery.

“I am not your victim,” she said in court. “I am a survivor.”

After he was sentenced to 30 years in prison, Schreier instructed the 34-year-old to pay a $5,000 fine. If he completes his sentence, Nyuon will be subject to 10 years of probation upon release.

U.S. Attorney Brendan Johnson said he was “very satisfied” with the 30-year sentence. This case, he said, is a good example of how his office is aggressively prosecuting pimps and johns to target supply and demand of human sex trafficking in the state.

“Thirty years means that this individual will not be getting out anytime soon, and when he does, he’ll be an old man who won’t be able to perpetrate the same crimes that he has now,” Johnson said. “We won’t get a life sentence in every case, but a 30-year sentence — there aren’t many crimes where a 30-year sentence is the norm.”