CASTIMONIA

Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

ptsd

By

3 Tips to Keep Kids Safe Online

http://pornproofkids.com/2013/12/12/pornography-addiction-3-tips-to-keep-kids-safe-online/

by Kristen Jenson

A therapist who specializes in pornography addiction recovery sees kids who became addicted to pornography by the age of 12.

But the pornography industry, which earns $93 billion annually, has no interest in revealing the truth that pornography addiction is real. Much like the tobacco industry deniers of yesteryear, porn producers adamantly argue that porn addiction is a fantasy.

  • Tell that to my friend Brian (name has been changed) who was shown pornography at the age of seven, and felt compelled to search for more images of nude women. The Internet fueled his fascination into a full-fledged pornography addiction that took years, a 12-step program, and the accountability of a therapy group to overcome.
  • Tell that to a woman I met whose father gave up everything, including his marriage and family relationships, to his pornography addiction and took it with him to his grave.

A pornography addiction is a hellish trap because the brain makes its own drug! The vile images are trapped inside the memory, and there’s no way to flush them out. And even without Internet access, a person can still recall the memories of porn to feed their addiction.

Norman Doidge, M.D., author of The Brain That Changes Itself, says this about pornography addiction:

“Pornographers promise healthy pleasure and relief from sexual tension, but what they often deliver is an addiction…and an eventual decrease in pleasure. Paradoxically, the male patients I worked with often craved pornography but didn’t like it.”

Just another level of hell: Intensely craving something you find disgusting.

3 Powerful Truths to Protect Against Pornography Addiction

Internet safety for kids is worth every effort and it starts with them understanding the danger of Internet pornography. These three tips will fortify your kids against the trap of addiction.

  1. Teach kids that their brains can be hurt by looking at pornography. Pornography is powerful and tricks the brain into strong feelings and desires to see more and more images. An addiction occurs when the brain becomes locked into wanting to see more and more intense images. An addiction actually changes the physical structure of the brain; scientists have actually measured the harmful effects of pornography using MRI scans.
  2. Teach kids healthy ways to deal with their feelings. Some kids use pornography to deal with negative emotions, like when they’re bored, lonely, angry, stressed or tired (BLAST), but doing so can lead to an addiction. Imagine if every time a person felt BLAST, their brain created a craving to see pornography? Pretty soon, pornography could become the most important thing in that person’s life.
  3. Teach kids to tell a trusted adult about any and all pornography exposure. Pornography has a stronger pull when it’s kept secret. Explain that when pornography is brought out into the light and discussed openly, its power is weakened.

The access to Internet pornography is easier than ever before. While filtering software can help, the only way for kids to avoid the risk of a pornography addiction is to decide for themselves to protect their brain. And in order to make that decision, they need to be informed before their hooked.

By

It’s Not About Trying To Measure Up

No matter how much time you spend controlling and trying to prevent your partner straying, if the person you are in love with, is the kind of person to be disloyal, then all of the energy you put into worrying about whether they will cheat won’t stop it from happening. You can’t control what another person does. You can only control how you think, feel and behave. Let Go Of The Fear! It really is your choice to let go of the fear, and actively decide that you will no longer waste your energy trying to prevent, predict or control the actions of your partner, so you can feel more positive and calm in your relationship. The first thing to do is to stop seeking constant reassurance. Receiving reassurance can become an addiction. It feels good to have someone tell us how much they love us and would never hurt us, and it’s possible to get caught up in a cycle of creating conflict, just so you can get that hit of reassurance you’ve become hooked on. But just like a drug, the power of that hit wears off pretty quickly when you keep taking it and soon, it’s never enough. It’s also exhausting for a partner to keep trying to convince you of their love and many will just stop if they feel like you don’t hear them anyway. Step into your own power and nurture the belief that you are valuable, loveable and important to your partner. Provide your own reassurance when you start to feel doubtful with affirmations like ‘I am all that I need to be’, or ‘I am loved, valued and important’. Choose whatever feels good to say to your self and use it in times of fear. Being confident and self assured is much more appealing and a kind of sexy that’s hard to stray from rather than being needy and lacking self value. There will always be someone out there that could be considered more attractive, more interesting, funnier, richer, or smarter. It’s not about trying to measure up so that your partner will want only you, it’s about believing that you are loveable and trusting that your partner picked you for exactly who and what you are. From an article by Rachael Lay
http://www.rachaellay.com/why-worrying-about-cheating-is-pointless/

“Cheating is easy. Try something hard like….Being Faithful.” – Daniel Engelbrecht

By

New Castimonia Meeting in Columbus, TX

I am humbled to announce that we will officially be starting a new Castimonia meeting on Monday mornings at First Baptist Church in Columbus, TX on March 30th!  This is our first meeting located outside of the general Houston area and also our first morning meeting.
Location information is written below.
Beginning March 30, 2015
Monday Mornings
Time: 6:00AM – 7:30AM
Location: First Baptist Church
1700 Milam Street
Columbus, TX 78934
979.732.6261
This meeting should help those that live West of Katy/Sealy who may not have the opportunity to travel 2 hours round-trip to a Castimonia meeting.
Praise be to God, the father of our Lord Jesus Christ, for all He has done to grow His ministry!

By

Gary Wilson at TEDxGlasgow

The Great Porn Experiment

Published on May 16, 2012

In response to Philip Zimbardo’s “The Demise of Guys?” TED talk, Gary Wilson asks whether our brains evolved to handle the hyperstimulation of today’s Internet enticements. He also discusses the disturbing symptoms showing up in some heavy Internet users, the surprising reversal of those symptoms, and the science behind these 21st century phenomena.

More About Gary Wilson

Gary is host of http://www.yourbrainonporn.com. The site arose in response to a growing demand for solid scientific information by heavy Internet erotica users experiencing perplexing, unexpected effects: escalation to more extreme material, concentration difficulties, sexual performance problems, radical changes in sexual tastes, social anxiety, irritability, inability to stop, and obsessive-compulsive symptoms.

As a physiology teacher with a particular interest in the latest neuroscience discoveries, Gary was aware that their symptoms might be the result of addiction-related brain changes. Applying the website’s concepts of brain plasticity, many former users have braved withdrawal, reversed their symptoms and restored normal sexual responsiveness.

The site has been linked to from hundreds of threads in forums from over thirty countries, with posts numbering in the thousands. Gary blogs for “Psychology Today” and “The Good Men Project” on the extreme plasticity of adolescent brains, the evolutionary context for today’s flood of novel cyber “mates,” and the neurochemical reasons why superstimulating Internet delivery has unexpected effects on the brain.

Many thanks to Pat Somers of Slow Moving Pictures for the skillful editing of this video.

In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)

By

It really is that simple

by Samantha Baker

My husband has a new job, he’s out of the restaurant environment.   This is a good move, ultimately.  He’s now supervising a kitchen at the regional jail.  So, working with inmates.  He has to go through special training to work with the inmates, obviously.

I was looking through his handbook material the other day and came across this:

Manipulation is all about emotions.  Some offenders will try to manipulate you, “playing on your” emotions.  The chart below lists emotions often used by offenders to manipulate others…and appropriate responses you can use to respond, should you find yourself in such a situation.

Flattery Offender:  “Your the best staff I have.” Response:  “Thank you, but lets stick to the task at hand.”

Empathy Offender:  “My sister died of cancer; I know what you’re going through.” Response:  “My personal life is none of your business, let’s stick to the task at hand.”

Sympathy Offender:  “I don’t have any family or friends and it’s tough being locked up.” Response:  “Your personal life is none of my business, let’s stick to the task at hand.”

Helplessness Offender:  “You’re the only one that can help me through this.” Response:  “Let’s get back to the task at hand, you need to see your counselor about personal issues.”

Confidentiality Offender:  “I trust you, so don’t tell anyone or I’ll get into trouble.” Response:  “I don’t keep secrets, so what ever you tell me, I will tell my supervisor, let’s stick to the task at hand.”

Isolation Offender:  “They treat you like an XXXXX.” Response:  “That is none of your business, let’s stick to the task at hand.”

Touching or Sexual Reference Offender:  “I’m so sorry about that, I didn’t mean to do that, I apologize.” Response:  “WHOA WHOA WHOA!  You are not to touch me ever.  I’m telling my supervisor and you are being written up for this.”

Now…a little tweeking and boy could this be for ANY work environment, especially my husband and his affairs since all of his affairs were with employees.  Hell, my husband WAS THE OFFENDER as well as the giving INAPPROPRIATE responses when he received the manipulation tactics.  I’ve felt often that he used “techniques” to groom his AP’s until they then came on to him.  Now, even more so.

He’s still working on himself, his boundaries, etc.  He’s come a long way, but I still see room for improvement in that he needs to be hyper aware of boundaries.  Not get complacent.

This make it seem so simple, yet why was it so hard for him to not have boundaries?  How was it so easy to repeatedly step over boundaries on a daily basis and put himself into situations where affairs were possible?