A friend in the program once defined codependency as this:
When someone sticks their foot up your [rear] and you turn around and ask them if their foot is OK.
porn
Pornography ‘desensitising young people’
http://www.bbc.com/news/education-36527681
Most children are exposed to online pornography by their early teenage years, a study warns.
About 53% of 11- to 16-year-olds have seen explicit material online, nearly all of whom (94%) had seen it by 14, the Middlesex University study says.
The research, commissioned by the NSPCC and the children’s commissioner for England, said many teenagers were at risk of becoming desensitised to porn.
The government said keeping children safe online was a key priority.
Naked images
The researchers questioned 1,001 children aged 11 to 16 and found 65% of 15- to 16-year-olds reported seeing pornography, as did 28% of 11- to 12-year-olds.
They also discovered that it was more likely for the youngsters to find material accidentally (28%), for example via a pop-up advertisement, than to specifically seek it out (19%).
More than three-quarters of the children surveyed – 87% of the boys and 77% of the girls – felt pornography failed to help them understand consent, but most of the boys (53%) and 39% of girls saw it as a realistic depiction of sex.
Some of the children’s approach to sex was also informed by pornographic scenes, with more than a third (39%) of the 13- to 14-year-olds and a fifth of the 11- to 12-year-olds boys saying they wanted to copy the behaviour they had seen.
The report also found:
- More boys than girls had viewed online pornography through choice
- 135 (14%) of the young people who responded had taken naked and/or semi-naked images of themselves, and just over half of these (7% overall) had shared these images
- Of those children who reported seeing online pornography, the greatest proportion (38%) had first seen it on a portable laptop, 33% through a mobile phone and just under a quarter (24%) on a desktop computer
- Nearly 60% of the children and young people surveyed who had seen online pornography reported seeing it for the first time at home, followed by 29% who reported doing so at a friend’s house
The report is published a week after expert witnesses told the Women and Equalities Committee that girls were wearing shorts under their school skirts to avoid sexual harassment and warned that online pornography was giving children unacceptable messages about sex and intimacy.
Young people’s concerns
One 11-year-old girl told researchers: “I didn’t like it because it came on by accident and I don’t want my parents to find out and the man looked like he was hurting her. He was holding her down and she was screaming and swearing.”
A 13-year-old boy said: “One of my friends has started treating women like he sees on the videos – not major – just a slap here or there.”
“It can make a boy not look for love, just look for sex, and it can pressure us girls to act and look and behave in a certain way before we might be ready for it,” said one 13-year-old girl.
Another 13-year-old girl said: “A few of my friends have used it for guidance about sex and are getting the wrong image of relationships.”
Dr Elena Martellozzo, who co-led the research, said: “Although many children did not report seeing online pornography, it is worrying that some children came across it accidentally and could be sent it without seeking it.
“If boys believe that online pornography provides a realistic view of sexual relationships, then this may lead to inappropriate expectations of girls and women.
“Girls too may feel pressured to live up to these unrealistic, and perhaps non-consensual, interpretations of sex.
“There is a huge task ahead for parents, teachers and policymakers.
“We found that children and young people need safe spaces where they can freely discuss the full range of issues related to sex, relationships and the accessibility of online porn in the digital age.”
Anne Longfield, Children’s Commissioner for England, said it was worrying that many children were exposed to pornography.
“Only now are we beginning to understand its impact on ‘smartphone kids’ – the first generation to have been raised with technology that’s taken the internet from the front room, where parents can monitor use, to their bedrooms or the playground, where they can’t,” she said.
“We know from the research that very many children are shocked, confused or disgusted by what they see, and it is our duty to help them to question, challenge and make sense of it.”
NSPCC chief executive Peter Wanless said: “A generation of children are in danger of being stripped of their childhoods at a young age by stumbling across extreme and violent porn online.
“Industry and government need to take more responsibility to ensure that young people are protected.
“Some companies have taken the initiative when it comes to online safety, and we will continue to put pressure on those that have not yet done so.
“Age-appropriate sex and relationship education in schools, dealing with issues such as online pornography and children sending indecent images, are crucial.”
A Department for Culture, Media and Sport spokeswoman said: “Keeping children safe online is one of government’s key priorities.
“Just as we do offline, we want to make sure children are prevented from accessing pornographic content online, which should only be viewed by adults.
“In the forthcoming Digital Economy Bill, we will bring in legislation that will require companies providing pornographic material online to make sure they have a robust age-verification system in place, so that those accessing their websites are over 18.”
Expressions of Anger
SOURCE: Larry Heath/Living Free
“Short-tempered people do foolish things.” (Proverbs 14:17 NLT)
Anger in daily life can range from irritation to explosive responses.
Without emotional expression, life would be “unfelt” and appear as only rational or cognitive. However, thoughts and behaviors are connected to our feelings. Rational thought alone will not provide the energy needed to function as human beings in experiencing life. We all require feelings to motivate us sufficiently to do the enjoyable in life as well as experience suffering and pain. Anger is one of those feelings.
We all feel angry at times.
It may be righteous anger . . . or anger aroused by selfishness. We can choose how to respond to that anger. As the above Scripture points out, we sometimes make matters worse because we respond with foolish behavior. Children, youth, and adults differ in their expression of anger. Children may yell, pout, hit, or even become depressed by holding in the anger. Teens may respond to their anger with by withdrawing, becoming isolated, fighting with peers and siblings, or becoming aggressive with parents, teachers, and authority figures. Adults often express their anger through bitterness, resentment, self-pity, and depression.
It is important that we learn to manage our responses to anger rather than just erupting and lashing out at others . . . or holding everything in. The Bible makes it clear that anger is an ethically neutral instrument or force that we can use to glorify God rather than for expressing sinful thoughts or behaviors. It has potential for danger and can lead to sin. God wants us to deal with it quickly—and wisely—lest it lead to greater harm. “And ‘don’t sin by letting anger control you.’ Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil” (Ephesians 4:26-27 NLT).
Christian mental and spiritual health that can help us manage anger wisely is characterized by humility, teachability, and peace—not a stubborn, angry, unteachable spirit that gives Satan a foothold.
Father, I know that sometimes I let anger take over and I respond foolishly. Please forgive me. Help me to be more teachable and humble. I know I need your help to manage my anger wisely. In Jesus’ name . . .
Intimate Mystery Conference (Dr. Dan B. Allender)
May 4–5, 2018
Grand Parkway Baptist Church
12000 FM 1464, Richmond, TX 77407
Intimate Mystery is a conference designed to invite you to an honest exploration of who you are, how your story impacts your style of relating, and what you and your partner create together in light of your unique stories. Intimate Mystery will invite you to candidly engage the inherent joys and struggles of marriage and relationships through the categories of communication, conflict, dreams and demands, family ties, forgiveness, and sex.
Join Dr. Dan B. Allender to explore God’s design for marriage through the matrix of Genesis 2:24 (leaving, weaving, and cleaving). Be moved toward deeper intimacy as you encounter the character and purposes of God revealed through the complexities of your unique relationship.
My wife and I believe this to be the best marriage conference we’ve ever attended in 35 years of marriage and “Christian” effort to do it right. It is serving to bring us hope through the reality of life and not the empty promises of how to do it better, try harder, or be more faithful. — Intimate Mystery attendee
Dr. Allender leads the conversation with his own vulnerability and challenges couples to lean into their vulnerability, resulting in an experience that moves the conversation on life-giving marriages and relationships beyond techniques and “how-to’s.” Instead, Dan invites you into a place of newfound awareness and ability to engage conflict and desire—as an individual and as a couple.
I am single and have never been married. I feel like hearing this information now is so helpful. It will help me as I work through my story and it will also change the way I’m dating. — Intimate Mystery attendee
Intimate Mystery is a conference centered on understanding and developing healthy intimacy, and is applicable to both couples and singles, to those who want to engage Scripture in a provocative, meaningful way, and to those who desire a deeper faith and deeper relationships with others and God.
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What Heroes Do – VIDEO
By now you probably know I LOVE movies! I grew up watching tons of movies and still do so today. A short while ago I watched the movie Thor: Ragnarok. As I watched the movie various scenes stood out to me. As I have stated before, now that I’m in recovery the Holy Spirit has allowed me to see movies differently and notice subtle (and sometimes blatant) recovery tones within the movie.
The plot of this movie has been pasted below courtesy of Wikipedia:
Thor: Ragnarok is a 2017 American superhero film based on the Marvel Comics character Thor. In Thor: Ragnarok, Thor must escape the alien planet Sakaar in time to save Asgard from Hela and the impending Ragnarök.
What I saw in this movie was a humorous example of what we should do when we confront problems in our lives. This movie, although not therapy-accurate, brings humor to dealing with life’s problems. Hopefully, those of us with problems can see the humor in this movie as much as I do.
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