Originally posted: http://huperecho.wordpress.com/2013/04/06/why-i-am-able-to-heal-from-infidelity
Jesus Culture Your Love Never Fails lyrics
But You have new mercies for me everyday
Your love never fails
You stay the same through the ages
Your love never changes
There may be pain in the night but joy comes in the morning
And when the oceans rage
I don’t have to be afraid
Because I know that You love me
Your love never fails
The wind is strong and the water’s deep
But I’m not alone here in these open seas
Cause Your love never fails
The chasm is far too wide
I never thought I’d reach the other side
But Your love never fails
You make all things work together for my good
I could rephrase this and say And we know that in infidelity God works for the good of those who love him…………………………I started this new bible study in our new church and it’s on hope. Coincidence? I don’t think so. If I didn’t have hope that this will work out for good I wouldn’t have been able to heal the way I am. You see my hope isn’t in my husband, it’s in my God. Even though I do hope my husband will change and continue changing as we are living together so there has to be work in making this marriage work, my final answer is always going to God.
I can forgive because God tells me to. Even if we didn’t stay together I still would have forgiven him. I preached this scripture over and over and over and what do you know now I get the chance to live out what I believe. I know that with or without him I would make it. In fact it would have been a whole lot easier for me to walk away but I would miss what God was going to do with this. I am always living in expectation that God is going to meet my needs even if my husband doesn’t. I think that’s why I stayed in such a bad marriage. I always HOPED it would change but even in my darkest nights I was still pursuing God. The best years of my walk with God were while my husband was cheating …go figure.
I believe that although there was pain in the night that joy comes in the morning. I always live with such great expectation of what God can do. Even when I am triggered I still can make a choice to sit in the pain or deal with it and let the joy come. I want the joy more then I want the pain. I don ‘t plan the triggers or plan for them. I just take one day at a time now. I will still grieve my losses but I also believe God will restore what the “locusts have eaten”.
This is one of my favorite passages especially the highlighted portion.
1 How lovely is your dwelling place, O Lord of Heaven’s Armies. 2 I long, yes, I faint with longing to enter the courts of the Lord. With my whole being, body and soul, I will shout joyfully to the living God. 3 Even the sparrow finds a home, and the swallow builds her nest and raises her young at a place near your altar, O Lord of Heaven’s Armies, my King and my God! 4 What joy for those who can live in your house, always singing your praises. Interlude
5 What joy for those whose strength comes from the Lord, who have set their minds on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem. (I’ve read that in today’s terms Jerusalem can be any place we meet with God) 6 When they walk through the Valley of Weeping, it will become a place of refreshing springs. The autumn rains will clothe it with blessings. (God is pouring his blessings into my life right now.) 7 They will continue to grow stronger, (Every day I find myself growing stronger, and my love for my husband is stronger too. )
and each of them will appear before God in Jerusalem. (I sense his presence with me. When I am livestreaming IHOPKC.ORG through my phone on my TV I feel such a lift in my spirit. When I am praying or sitting in the prayer room or reading my bible, he speaks to me through his word. When I am hurting I feel him holding me and telling me to keep trusting him. When I’m out working in my garden or yard and see the beauty around me I see his handwriting all over it. )
This may sound crazy but all I can say is that it’s working and I am healing from infidelity.