• Skip to content
  • Skip to footer

CASTIMONIA

Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

  • Home
  • About Castimonia
    • Statement of Faith
    • Member Struggles
    • Are You a Sex Addict?
    • About the Leaders of Castimonia
  • Meetings
    • What to Expect at a Castimonia Meeting
    • Meeting Times & Locations
      • Arkansas Meetings
      • New York Meetings
      • Tennessee Meetings
      • Texas Meetings
      • Telephone Meeting
      • Zoom Online Meetings
  • News & Events
  • Resources
    • Books
    • Document Downloads
    • Journal Through Recovery
    • Purity Podcasts
    • Recovery Videos
    • Telemeeting Scripts
    • Useful Links
  • Contact Us

father wound

April 9, 2020 By Castimonia

Clinging to Truth: A Battle to Fight

SOURCE:  John Eldredge, from Wild at Heart 

Hanging on to the Truth

In any hand-to-hand combat, there’s a constant back-and-forth of blows, dodges, blocks, counterattacks, and so forth. That’s exactly what is going on in the unseen around us. Only it takes place, initially, at the level of our thoughts. When we are under attack, we’ve got to hang on to the truth. Dodge the blow, block it with a stubborn refusal, slash back with what is true. This is how Christ answered Satan — He didn’t get into an argument with him, try to reason his way out. He simply stood on the truth. He answered with Scripture and we’ve got to do the same. This will not be easy, especially when all hell is breaking loose around you. It will feel like holding on to a rope while you’re being dragged behind a truck, like keeping your balance in a hurricane. Satan doesn’t just throw a thought at us; he throws feelings too. Walk into a dark house late at night and suddenly fear sweeps over you; or just stand in a grocery line with all those tabloids shouting sex at you and suddenly a sense of corruption is yours.

But this is where your strength is revealed and even increased — through exercise.

Stand on what is true and do not let go. Period.

The traitor within the castle will try to lower the drawbridge, but don’t let him. When Proverbs 4:23 tells us to guard our hearts, it’s not saying, “Lock them up because they’re really criminal to the core”; it’s saying, “Defend them like a castle, the seat of your strength you do not want to give away.” As Thomas à Kempis says, “Yet we must be watchful, especially in the beginning of the temptation; for the enemy is then more easily overcome, if he is not suffered to enter the door of our hearts, but is resisted without the gate at his first knock.”

Remember the scene in Braveheart where Robert the Bruce’s evil father is whispering lies to him about treason and compromise? He says to Robert what the Enemy says to us in a thousand ways: “All men betray; all men lose heart.” How does Robert answer? He yells back, I don’t want to lose heart! I want to believe, like [Wallace] does. I will never be on the wrong side again.

That is the turning point in his life . . . and in ours. The battle shifts to a new level.

God Is With Us

Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their forefathers to give them. Be strong and very courageous . . . Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go. — Joshua 1:6-7, Joshua 1:9

Joshua knew what it was to be afraid. For years he had been second in command, Moses’ right-hand man. But now it was his turn to lead. The children of Israel weren’t just going to waltz in and pick up the promised land like a quart of milk; they were going to have to fight for it. And Moses was not going with them. If Joshua was completely confident about the situation, why would God have to tell him over and over and over again not to be afraid? In fact, God gives him a special word of encouragement:

As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. — Joshua 1:5

How was God “with Moses”? As a mighty warrior. Remember the plagues? Remember all those Egyptian soldiers drowned with their horses and chariots out there in the Red Sea? It was after that display of God’s strength that the people of Israel sang,

The LORD is a warrior; the LORD is His Name. — Exodus 15:3

God fought for Moses and for Israel; then He covenanted to Joshua to do the same and they took down Jericho and every other enemy.

Jeremiah knew what it meant to have God “with him” as well. “But the LORD is with me like a mighty warrior,” he sang.  “so my persecutors will stumble and not prevail” (Jer. 20:11). Even Jesus walked in this promise when He battled for us here on earth:

You know what has happened throughout Judea, beginning in Galilee after the baptism that John preached — how God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Spirit and power, and how he went around doing good and healing all who were under the power of the devil, because God was with him. — Acts 10:37-38, emphasis added

How did Jesus win the battle against Satan? God was with him. This really opens up the riches of the promise Christ gives us when he pledges, “I am with you always, even to the end of the age” and “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Matthew 28:20; Hebrews 13:5 NKJV). That doesn’t simply mean that He’ll be around, or even that He’ll comfort us in our afflictions. It means He will fight for us, with us, just as He has fought for His people all through the ages.

So long as we walk with Christ, stay in Him, we haven’t a thing to fear.

Satan is trying to appeal to the traitor’s commitment to self-preservation when he uses fear and intimidation. So long as we are back in the old story of saving our skin, looking out for Number One, those tactics will work. We’ll shrink back. But the opposite is also true. When a man resolves to become a warrior, when his life is given over to a transcendent cause, then he can’t be cowed by the Big Bad Wolf threatening to blow his house down. After Revelation describes that war in Heaven between the angels and Satan’s downfall to the earth, it tells how the saints overcame him:

They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death. — Revelation 12:11

The most dangerous man on earth is the man who has reckoned with his own death.

All men die; few men ever really live.

Sure, you can create a safe life for yourself… and end your days in a rest home babbling on about some forgotten misfortune. I’d rather go down swinging. Besides, the less we are trying to “save ourselves,” the more effective as warriors we will be.

Listen to G. K. Chesterton on courage:

Courage is almost a contradiction in terms. It means a strong desire to live taking the form of a readiness to die. “He that will lose his life, the same shall save it,” is not a piece of mysticism for saints and heroes. It is a piece of everyday advice for sailors or mountaineers. It might be printed in an Alpine guide or a drill book. The paradox is the whole principle of courage; even of quite earthly or quite brutal courage. A man cut off by the sea may save his life if he will risk it on the precipice. He can only get away from death by continually stepping within an inch of it. A soldier surrounded by enemies, if he is to cut his way out, needs to combine a strong desire for living with a strange carelessness about dying. He must not merely cling to life, for then he will be a coward, and will not escape. He must not merely wait for death, for then he will be a suicide, and will not escape. He must seek his life in a spirit of furious indifference to it; he must desire life like water and yet drink death like wine.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, alcoholic, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitutes, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, strippers, trauma

April 5, 2020 By Castimonia

5 Ways to Help Someone Struggling With Mental Illness

Research shows that approximately 1 in 5 adults suffers from a mental health disorder, and only 44% of those individuals seek some form of treatment.¹ With this being the case, there is a great chance you know someone who is currently struggling with a mental health disorder of some kind.

Taking the time to acknowledge and talk about the daily battle a friend or family member is having with mental illness is a great way to create a safe space. It allows them to open up about what they are going through and reminds them that they don’t have to fight alone. The more we continue to have these conversations about mental health in our everyday lives, the more we will eradicate the stigma that surrounds mental health and develop a healthier approach to treating and caring for mental health disorders.

Here are 5 ways you can help someone struggling with mental illness.

1.) Recognize that mental illness is unique to each individual.
There are a wide variety of mental health disorders. Some are mild while others are severe, and they affect people in different ways. Treatments that work for one person may not necessarily work for another, so be patient. Take the time to understand your loved one’s individual situation, which is often as simple as having an open, honest conversation. It doesn’t have to be uncomfortable; just let them know you care about them and you’re available to support them.

2.) Remind them that they are not their diagnosis.
Anyone who has lived with a mental health disorder knows that they can feel isolating and all-consuming. There is still a negative stigma of shame surrounding mental illness in our society, and that makes things even more difficult. Take the time to remind them that they are more than their diagnosis without minimizing the seriousness of their condition. Letting them know that you accept them for who they are is a great way to show your support

3.) Show compassion. You don’t have to “understand” what they are going through to be there for them.
You don’t need to have personal experience with a mental health disorder to be a sounding board for someone who does. You also don’t need to feel as though you need to solve all of their problems. Sometimes the best way to show that you are there for them is to listen to them without judgement, and to show compassion for what they are going through.

4.) Let them know that treatment is available. They don’t have to suffer in silence.
So often people don’t seek professional treatment for mental health disorders for a variety of reasons. Sometimes all it takes is the support of someone who cares about them to remind them of the resources and treatment options that are available to them.

5.) Take care of your mental health.
While supporting someone with a mental health disorder is important, you also want to make sure that you are taking the time to care for your own physical, emotional, and mental well-being. It is easy to get caught up in the lives of others, but you need to remember that your own self-care is crucial to how good you can be for others.

  1. Any Mental Illness (AMI) Among Adults, National Institute of Mental Health, https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/prevalence/any-mental-illness-ami-among-us-adults.shtml

feinbergconsulting.com · May 30, 2017

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, alcoholic, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, pornstar, pornstars, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, strippers, trauma

April 1, 2020 By Castimonia

How I deal with my relapse

This post is copied from Reddit in a forum about fighting porn addiction.  Because Reddit is not considered a safe place for some in recovery, the link has not been included.

139 days was my streak. It’s about 29 days more than my last record. Currently, I’m back to day 1 of the counter because I felt lonely in a motel room with access to porn on television while out of town.

What I have to do now is not to think about getting back to the 139 days and beyond but getting through the first 24 hours. My porn brain have tricked me and will trick me again to watch porn. I have to be much more vigilant during this time period around all electronic devices.

I’m not going to shame or guilt myself because I relapsed. Instead, I’ll simply accept that it was something that happened and that I can learn from this experience to avoid this mistake again. For example, when I find myself in a situation like this again, I’ll proceed to immediately meditate or if the urge is too strong, to leave the room and go for a walk instead.

I have built upon the setbacks of the past to go beyond being 4 months free and I trust in myself to do it again. After all, the achievements of my latest streak still remains. I still lead a very social, fun and meaningful life. Among family and close friends, I speak openly about the dangers of porn addiction and how it affects me. I’m working with my psychologist to push myself further on my career path and getting out of my comfort zone.

The streak may have ended but the journey continues.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, pornstars, prostitutes, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual purity, STD, strippers

March 27, 2020 By Castimonia

Goals and Rewards

This post is copied from Reddit in a forum about fighting porn addiction.  Because Reddit is not considered a safe place for some in recovery, the link has not been included.

Day 29. Something that’s been really useful for me is setting goals and giving myself a reward for completing those goals. I have often thought something along the lines of ” I’m just two days away from my goal. I’m not going to let myself relapse.”

For me, each reward has been some kind of favorite food, because that’s what motivates me. But you might find other things that motivate you better and fit your situation better: -A favorite movie -A favorite song -A favorite game -A hike -An escape room Whatever motivates you

What goals could you set? What rewards could you give yourself?

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, pornstars, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, STD, strippers, trauma

March 23, 2020 By Castimonia

How do you get over feeling unclean and ashamed about having this addiction?

This post is copied from Reddit in a forum about fighting porn addiction.  Because Reddit is not considered a safe place for some in recovery, the link has not been included.

I’m a 23yo female and have been watching porn since I was in pre-school and was exposed to it as part of my childhood sexual assault. My porn addiction is the one thing I’ve never been able to open up about, it’s one of those secrets I have truly kept from everyone. I really feel like I will never have a normal sex life and my porn habit is part of that, absolutely, but I am not ready to give it up yet. I feel so dirty and disgusting that every time I walk into my therapist’s office planning to tell her, I simply can’t get the words out of my mouth. The shame is so strong. Can anyone else relate?

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, Affairs, anonymous sex partners, castimonia, Character Defects, christian, co-dependency, Emotions, escorts, father wound, gratification, healing, Intimacy, Jesus Christ, lust, masturbation, porn, pornography, pornstars, prostitutes, ptsd, purity, recovery, Sex, sex addict, sex addiction, sex partners, sexual, sexual addiction, sexual impurity, sexual purity, spouses, trauma

  • « Previous Page
  • Page 1
  • Page 2
  • Page 3
  • Page 4
  • …
  • Page 172
  • Next Page »

Footer

Useful Links

Castimonia Restoration Ministry, Inc. is a 501c3 non-profit organization


This site is intended for individuals who struggle with maintaining sexual purity. This information is posted for individuals at various stages in their recovery, year 1 to year 30+; what applies to some, may not apply others. Spouses are encouraged to read this blog with the caveat that they may not agree with, understand, or know the reason for some items posted. As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

Copyright © 2022 · Altitude Pro on Genesis Framework · Log in

 

Loading Comments...