CASTIMONIA

Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

Character Defects

By

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and the family

I received this message from a group member:

I was searching this week on ideas about how to deal better with my Wife’s PTSD.  I came across this and thought it might be helpful to others.

If a loved one has post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), it’s essential that you take care of yourself and get extra support. PTSD can take a heavy toll on the family if you let it. It can be hard to understand why your loved one won’t open up to you—why he or she is less affectionate and more volatile. The symptoms of PTSD can also result in job loss, substance abuse, and other stressful problems.

Letting your family member’s PTSD dominate your life while ignoring your own needs is a surefire recipe for burnout. In order to take care of your loved one, you first need to take care of yourself. It’s also helpful to learn all you can about post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The more you know about the symptoms and treatment options, the better equipped you’ll be to help your loved one and keep things in perspective.

Helping a loved one with PTSD

  • Be patient and understanding. Getting better takes time, even when a person is committed to treatment for PTSD. Be patient with the pace of recovery and offer a sympathetic ear. A person with PTSD may need to talk about the traumatic event over and over again. This is part of the healing process, so avoid the temptation to tell your loved one to stop rehashing the past and move on.
  • Try to anticipate and prepare for PTSD triggers. Common triggers include anniversary dates; people or places associated with the trauma; and certain sights, sounds, or smells. If you are aware of what triggers may cause an upsetting reaction, you’ll be in a better position to offer your support and help your loved one calm down.
  • Don’t take the symptoms of PTSD personally. Common symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) include emotional numbness, anger, and withdrawal. If your loved one seems distant, irritable, or closed off, remember that this may not have anything to do with you or your relationship.
  • Don’t pressure your loved one into talking. It is very difficult for people with PTSD to talk about their traumatic experiences. For some, it can even make things worse. Never try to force your loved one to open up. Let the person know, however, that you’re there when and if he or she wants to talk.

 

By

The Twelve Steps – VIDEO

Drama and suspense have never really been my favorite genres of movies but I am a big fan of Liam Neeson ever since he played a Jedi Knight in Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace.  And then there were the Taken movies where he single-handedly fights human trafficking!  I watch a lot of movies, not sure if you can tell and some have recovery themes and some do not.  Nevertheless, watching any movie with my “recovery glasses” allows me to spot recovery themes.  These themes can include alcoholism, drug addiction, support groups, honesty, courage, selfishness, selflessness, redemption, etc… that are portrayed in the movie. 

A Walk Among the Tombstones is one of these movies.  The plot of this movie has been pasted below courtesy of Google:

Matt Scudder (Liam Neeson), formerly part of the NYPD, now works as an unlicensed private detective. His latest client is a drug trafficker (Dan Stevens) whose wife was kidnapped and brutally murdered, and as Scudder delves deeper, he finds that the crime’s sequence is the modus operandi of the perpetrators. Before they can strike again and destroy other lives, Scudder races through the back streets of New York to catch the killers, blurring the lines between lawful and criminal as he goes.

 I’ll be honest.  The only reason I posted this movie was because Neeson’s character was a recovering alcoholic and he actively attends meetings and works on his recovery.  I really enjoy a movie that openly acknowledges the Twelve Steps even if the plot of the movie is not about recovery.  What I like about this movie is that Neeson’s character has suffered through a lot of trauma, especially against the brutal murderers in this movie and he still works his program, attends meetings, and believes in the promises of AA.

I hope you enjoy watching this video as much as I enjoyed creating it.  As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

FAIR USE NOTICE: This video may contain copyrighted material. Such material is made available for purposes such as criticism, comment, teaching, & education, etc. This constitutes a ’fair use’ of any such copyrighted material as provided for in Title 17 U.S.C. section 107 of the US Copyright Law NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED! All trademarks and copyrights remain the property of their owners.

By

Courage – VIDEO

I love fantasy, but not the fantasy I used to engage in.  This is the genre of fantasy full of dragons, knights, castles, or in this case, Hobbits, Dwarves, Elves, Wizards, and Orcs!  As a child I watched the cartoon version of The Hobbit by Rankin and Bass and loved the music and funny characters.  I was then able to read the book and then watch the movies by Peter Jackson.  Nevertheless, it wasn’t until entering recovery that the Holy Spirit gave me some special “recovery glasses” that have allowed me to spot recovery themes in various media; music, movies, photographs, etc…  These themes can include support groups, honesty, courage, selfishness, selflessness, redemption, etc… that are portrayed in the movie. 

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, the first of The Hobbit Trilogy is one of these movies.  The plot of this movie has been pasted below courtesy of Google:

The Hobbit, or There and Back Again is a fantasy novel and children’s book by English author J. R. R. Tolkien.  Set in a time “Between the Dawn of Færie and the Dominion of Men”, The Hobbit follows the quest of home-loving hobbit Bilbo Baggins to win a share of the Dwarven treasure guarded by the dragon, Smaug.

 I thought the courage exhibited by Bilbo Baggins to go on this dangerous journey was a parallel to the courage it takes to enter and stay in recovery.  Recovery isn’t easy, in fact, it is very difficult.  Therefore, it takes a lot of courage to enter meetings where you finally accept that we are not perfect and we are wounded human beings.

I hope you enjoy watching this video as much as I enjoyed creating it.  As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

FAIR USE NOTICE: This video may contain copyrighted material. Such material is made available for purposes such as criticism, comment, teaching, & education, etc. This constitutes a ’fair use’ of any such copyrighted material as provided for in Title 17 U.S.C. section 107 of the US Copyright Law NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED! All trademarks and copyrights remain the property of their owners.

By

Hope – VIDEO

I love superhero movies.  I don’t really know why.  I don’t read comic books.  Maybe it was me, as a child, hoping to be rescued from sexual abuse and neglect or maybe it was in watching superhero movies like Superman, I was able to escape my dysfunctional childhood for a few hours.  Nevertheless, it wasn’t until entering recovery that the Holy Spirit gave me some special “recovery glasses” that have allowed me to spot recovery themes in various media; music, movies, photographs, etc…  These themes can include support groups, honesty, selfishness, selflessness, redemption, etc… that are portrayed in the movie. 

X-Men: Days of Future Past is one of these movies.  The plot of this movie has been pasted below courtesy of Google:

Convinced that mutants pose a threat to humanity, Dr. Bolivar Trask (Peter Dinklage) develops the Sentinels, enormous robotic weapons that can detect a mutant gene and zero in on that person… More. In the 21st century, the Sentinels have evolved into highly efficient killing machines. With mutants now facing extinction, Wolverine (Hugh Jackman) volunteers to go back in time and rally the X-Men of the past to help change a pivotal moment in history and thereby save their future.

What I saw in this movie was the hope that we give to others when we sponsor them as well as us needing hope for healing as we listen to the worst of the worst from our sponsees.  Therapists and counselors also experience this hope when they see the transformation process.  But it is up to the sponsor, therapist, or counselor not to break underneath the weight of the brokenness of those he is trying to help.  It is the greatest gift we have, to help one another the way God helped us and help them bear their burdens.  This movie is dedicated to all sponsors, mentors, facilitators, therapists, and counselors who willing help others out of their love for God and His healing of the individual we help.

I hope you enjoy watching this video as much as I enjoyed creating it.  As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

FAIR USE NOTICE: This video may contain copyrighted material. Such material is made available for purposes such as criticism, comment, teaching, & education, etc. This constitutes a ’fair use’ of any such copyrighted material as provided for in Title 17 U.S.C. section 107 of the US Copyright Law NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED! All trademarks and copyrights remain the property of their owners.

By

When your wife says she can’t trust you ….

… this is what she really wants to say to you!  Be grateful that she loves you enough to use tact.

Liar Ecard

 

The truth is, we have a track record of lying to our wife over the course of our marriage.  However, now that we’re in recovery we can practice rigorous honesty and earn back her trust, slowly, one truth at a time!