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Star Wars: The Fall – VIDEO (Part 1)

I love Star Wars.  I grew up a Sci-Fi Geek with various Star Wars movies, swirling in my mind.  I often wonder, of all the Sci-Fi movies I have viewed in my life, how many of these movies had a recovery-related theme.  It wasn’t until entering recovery that the Holy Spirit gave me some special “recovery glasses” that have allowed me to spot recovery themes in various media; music, movies, photographs, etc…  These themes can include support groups, honesty, selfishness, selflessness, redemption, etc… that are portrayed in the movie. 

The Star Wars Saga was probably one of the best film series ever created and had an amazing recovery theme.  Below is a short summary of the overall movie from Wikipedia:

Star Wars is an American epic space opera franchise centered on a film series created by George Lucas. It depicts the adventures of various characters “a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away”, mostly involving, but not limited to, the rise and fall of Anakin Skywalker.

About ten years ago I read an interview with George Lucas on why he went back to create the three prequels (The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones, & Revenge of the Sith) to the original Star Wars Trilogy (A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, & Return of the Jedi).  His answer was simple and intrigued me.  He wanted to finish the “back story” to the original Star Wars trilogy about the old Republic, the rise of the Empire, but most importantly, the entire story of Anakin Skywalker; his fall, tribulation, and redemption.  You see, Anakin Skywalker was not always Darth Vader.  He experienced a lot of childhood trauma that led to him making poor decisions in order to medicate the anxiety and stress from the trauma and ultimately fell into the Dark Side of the Force acting out of the childhood trauma he experienced.  Sound familiar?  Like most men who struggle with sexual purity, his traumatic childhood led to a very unhealthy adulthood.  However, all who have fallen into this trap can be redeemed if the decide they want it bad enough.  For Darth Vader, he believed it was too late for him, but his son Luke Skywalker had hope; hope that there was still some good in Darth Vader, enough to help him break free from his unhealthy lifestyle.  These three videos document the fall of Anakin Skywalker, his tribulation living in the unhealthy lifestyle as well as Luke’s struggle to rescue his father, and ultimately the redemption of Anakin Skywalker with help from his son Luke.

I hope you enjoy watching this video as much as I enjoyed creating it.  As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

 

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Healing From Infidelity

Another necessary ingredient for rebuilding a marriage involves the willingness of unfaithful spouses to demonstrate sincere regret and remorse. You can’t apologize often enough. You need to tell your spouse that you will never commit adultery again. Although, since you are working diligently to repair your relationship, you might think your intentions to be monogamous are obvious, they aren’t. Tell your spouse of your plans to take your commitment to your marriage to heart. This will be particularly important during the early stages of recovery when mistrust is rampant. Conversely, talking about the affair can’t be the only thing you do. Couples who successfully rebuild their marriages recognize the importance of both talking about their difficulties and spending time together without discussing painful topics. They intentionally create opportunities to reconnect and nurture their friendship. They take walks, go out to eat or to a movie, develop new mutual interests and so on. Betrayed spouses will be more interested in spending discussion-free time after the initial shock of the affair has dissipated. Ultimately, the key to healing from infidelity involves forgiveness, which is frequently the last step in the healing process. The unfaithful spouse can do everything right; be forthcoming, express remorse, listen lovingly and act trustworthy, and still, the marriage won’t mend unless the betrayed person forgives his or her spouse and the unfaithful spouse forgives him or herself. Forgiveness opens the door to real intimacy and connection. But forgiveness doesn’t just happen. It is a conscious decision to stop blaming, make peace, and start tomorrow with a clean slate. If the past has had you in its clutches, why not take the next step to having more love in your life? Decide to forgive today. By Michele Weiner-Davis, M.S.W.
http://www.divorcebusting.com/a_healing_from_infidelity.htm

“The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies… It comes from friends and loved ones.” – Ash Sweeney

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#PornDestroys Marriage

by Frank Honess

IMG_1007One of the greatest ways pornography damaged my life was through my marriage. My wife was devastated to say the least at my hidden addiction and how I seemed to be so okay with it. Through continual relapses, lies, and secrets, I was losing my marriage. It wasn’t until my wife slid her engagement ring across the table to me and with eyes filled with tears told me that she was done. She would not marry a man who continued to hide and tell lies. It was only then that my eyes were opened.

How can you avoid this moment in your marriage? The greatest tip that I can give is to BE HONEST with your spouse. Men, if you’re engaged to your wife, you need to give full disclosure as to what you’re dealing with. I know looking back that my wife was willing to work with me through overcoming pornography. But it was the lying that really hurt her the most and I think that’s a common thread amongst females. Don’t lie to your wife. Your marriage is too valuable to lose to made up images and sexual scenarios.

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What Drives a Sex Addict?

No matter the quality or quantity of sex, some people remain hungry for more and more sex. It’s as though they are sexually insatiable. Most often, their insatiable sexual hunger is related to deep-rooted psychological factors. Toxic early childhood relationships can influence their sexual hunger in adulthood. Although sex addicts can be male or female, for discussion purposes, I will use the female pronouns here. Insatiable sexual hunger is not really a desire ─an act of will─ but rather a desperate need, a compulsion that is experienced as a craving. The need is pursued like a drug. Although sex addicts are enslaved to sex, it is far from their goal. Rather, the pursuit of sex is in service of a different goal─ to dispel feelings of inadequacy, depression, anxiety, rage or other feelings that the sex addict experiences as unbearable. Like a drug addict or alcoholic, the sex addict relentlessly seeks satisfaction from an external source to palliate an internal pain. Here’s a little of what goes on in the brain of sex addicts. The brain’s dopamine receptors ─ the pleasure-reward system─ is activated during sex, drugs, alcohol, or gambling. In the case of sex addicts who quickly slide down into despair after the sex act, their dopamine receptors are left hungry for more sex. These primed dopamine receptor, thus, crave more sex. A craving is, thus, set up biologically and psychologically. Fixes provide a state of ecstasy, calm, nirvana. Alas the shot of nirvana during the sex act lasts only as long as the magic of sex wears off. Result? The sex addict is rendered emptier, distressed, and fragmented. To quell these painful feelings, she is compelled to resume her pursuit for her next fix. As you can see, the sex act is not borne out of love, but performs the function of a drug to satisfy the primed dopamine receptors. Of no consequence other than to provide the sex addict with a fix, the sex object is indispensable. Rather than desiring a sexual partner, the sex addict craves the sexual object─ her fix. She is constantly seeking to repair early deprivations and to palliate depression, anxiety, self-esteem blows. How do sex addicts recover? Twelve step programs work for some people. For others, I recommend deep analytic therapy that focuses on visiting the past, but living in the moment, learning coping skills, finding internal satisfaction, pursuing healthy passions that fulfill the emptiness. From an article by Frances Cohen Praver, Ph.D. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/love-doc/200910/what-drives-sex-addict