CASTIMONIA

Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

father wound

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All Things

by Greg Laurie

It is good for me that I have been afflicted, that I may learn Your statutes.
—Psalm 119:71

Did you know that everything you have experienced up to this point in your life can be used for good? That isn’t to say you haven’t experienced hardship. That isn’t to say bad things haven’t happened to you. But it is to say that God can work them out for good.

That includes the experiences of your childhood, whether good or bad. That includes your parents, whoever they may be. That includes your education, your present employment, or your lack of it. He will work all things together for good.

I went through hardship as a kid. I came from a home that was broken many, many times over, a home of alcoholism. I wouldn’t wish my childhood on anyone. But God used it to make me the person that I am.

In the same way, God has used what you have gone through to make you the person that you are. So let it be worked together for good, and accept God’s promise to you: “All things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). The phrase work together also could be translated “working together.” In other words, it isn’t over yet!

Maybe you are going through a process right now in which God is working things together for good. You don’t see it yet. But you are a work in progress. Be patient. You have God’s word on it: He will work all things together for good to those who love Him and are the called according to His purpose. God is ultimately working all things for good — not just the good things, but all things.

Today’s devotional is an excerpt from Every Day with Jesus by Greg Laurie, 2013

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Expressing your Feelings

Just as you have choices about how to interpret an event, you also have options about how to express those feelings you experience. Often we limit the range of our expressive options by erroneously believing that there are only two options: either directly expressing them to someone else (e.g., in a personal confrontation), or “swallowing” the feelings and keeping them to ourselves. In actuality, there are many ways to respond to your feelings and express yourself. To some extent, you express a feeling any time your behavior is influenced by that feeling, but the way you express that feeling, and the intensity of that expression can vary widely. This is where decision-making comes in. First, consider what your options are. For example, if a close friend is planning to move away, you may feel very sad about that. You have numerous options here. For example, you can tell your friend how much you will miss him/her. Also, you can make a special effort to spend more time with him/her. These options may be painful at the time, but they give you the opportunity to express your feelings to your friend. On the other hand, you can avoid the friend until he/she leaves town so you won’t have to say good-bye. Or you can stay busy making other friends so you won’t miss this particular friend as much after he/she leaves. These choices may allow you to postpone or avoid painful feelings at the time, but they do not provide the opportunity for closure with your friend. The point is that you have options, and it’s your decision. Here are some useful questions to consider when deciding how to respond to your feelings:
– Does the intensity of my feelings match the situation?
– Do I have several feelings that I need to pay attention to?
– What interpretations or judgments am I making about this event?
– What are my options for expressing my feelings?
– What are the consequences of each option for me?
– What are the consequences of each option for others?
– What result am I hoping for?
– What do I want to do?
– What if I do nothing?
Even doing something like taking a deep breath or going for a walk to think about it can be a way of responding to your feelings. Remember that you have many options when it comes to expressing emotions. http://www.counselingcenter.illinois.edu/self-help-brochures/self-awarenessself-care/experiencing-and-expressing-emotions/

The best and most beautiful things
in the world cannot be seen or even touched.
They must be felt with the heart.
Helen Keller

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Warning Signs

At the beginning of a relationship, an abuser will always say the jealousy is a sign of love. He/she may question you about whom you have spoken to or seen during the day, may accuse you of flirting, or be jealous of time you spend with family, friends, children or hobbies which do not include him/her. As the jealousy progresses, he/she may call you frequently during the day or drop by unexpectedly. He may be unhappy about or refuse to let you work for fear you’ll meet someone else, check the car mileage or ask friends to keep an eye on you. Jealousy is not proof of love, it is a sign of insecurity and possessiveness. Controlling behavior is often disguised or excused as concern. Concern for your safety, your emotional or mental health, the need to use your time well, or to make sensible decisions. Your abuser may be angry or upset if you are ‘late’ coming back from work, shopping, visiting friends, etc., even if you told him/her you would be later back than usual. Your abuser may question you closely about where you were, whom you spoke to, the content of every conversation you held, or why you did something he/she was not involved in. As this behavior gets worse, you may not be allowed to make personal decisions about the house, clothing, going to church or how you spend your time or money or even make you ask for permission to leave the house or room. Alternately, he/she may theoretically allow you your own decisions, but penalize you for making the wrong ones. Concern for our loved ones to a certain extent is normal – trying to control their every move is not. http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/warning_signs.html

Relationships are like glass.
Sometimes it’s better
to leave them broken
than hurt yourself
trying to put it back together.
Unknown

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*** Columbus, Texas Meeting Day & Time Change ***

The Columbus, Texas Castimonia meeting which originally began on Monday mornings at 6:00AM has changed to Tuesday evenings at 7:00PM in order to accommodate the schedules of men attending.  Please make note of this change if you wish to visit this meeting.

Tuesday Evenings
Time: 7:00PM – 8:30PM
Location: First Baptist Church
1700 Milam Street
Columbus, TX  78934
979.732.6261
http://www.fbccolumbustx.org

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Changes

by james tarring cordrey

If nothing has changed in your addictive pattern with pornography and lust, you have to ask yourself some questions.  And you have to have a measure of sober-mindedness about your situation.

Once you realize you have an addiction, it’s time to make changes in your patterns. If you make no changes, then nothing changes.

So ask yourself the first question: “What am i going to do differently in my daily life so i can break the cycle of addiction?

If you can’t think that clearly, that’s where friends or a counselor fit in.

The second question builds on the first: “How far am i willing to go in making changes in order to put myself in the right position to change?

There will always be excuses.  There will always be reasons why some action you might take in pursuit of purity is too inconvenient. Those are just excuses. Anybody can find a reason to not do the thing that is somewhat — or very — difficult.

But that’s why the second question is crucial. You have to be willing to do whatever it takes to get free.

Don’t play at it. Don’t talk at length about it.

Stop talking and start doing.

Many men have all the knowledge and tools they need at their disposal. What they lack is the Will to act.

Wishing you will someday be free from porn’s hold will never get you free from porn’s hold. Pursuing freedom will.

For me, one of the things that gave me a great kick in the pants and gave birth to the will to fight for freedom was the anger and devastation i saw  in my wife. And her absolute disdain for me, from which she never shielded me, cut through my lame excuses and forced me to deal with it.

If you are not changing, take inventory.  If it comes down to not knowing what to do to even start the process, that’s one thing.

But if you have a couple good thoughts about what you ought to do and you’re still not changing, that’s something else altogether.