CASTIMONIA

Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

pornography

By

“I Like Pornography.”

Originally posted at: https://jesusbetter.wordpress.com/2021/04/28/i-like-pornography/

I denied my love for lust and porn for well over three decades.  I would never have said “I like pornography”.  I believed I was a good, Christian man.  I told myself that I wanted to break free from the habitual sin of looking at naked women.  I kept this sin a secret from everyone (except from God, of course).  And in my own mind I never thought of it as pornography.  I just liked to look at beautiful bodies.  I just enjoyed being stimulated and aroused.  And I was going to stop because this was going to be the last time I did it.

From my background of having dealt with a secret sin for decades, I have come to see how essential it is for us reach out for help, admit our weaknesses and talk about our mistakes.  I was never going to find freedom from this ugly sin until I sought help.  I was never going to reach out for the help I needed until I admitted to myself how serious my problem was.  Minimizing my compulsive addiction to pornography meant that I would never escape and fine the freedom I so dearly needed.

The counselor I saw for a few months told me that Freud said “talking cures”. Talking helps lessen my anxiety as I open up about my feelings.  For me, it was important to voice my mistakes and get them out in the open.  Saying it all out loud to another person forced me to face the severity of what I had done and my drastic need to make real and lasting changes.  For me to look my therapist in the eye and confess that I looked at pictures of naked women and then fantasized about being with them while I masturbated to reach orgasm was extremely difficult. Yet what better way to eliminate all of my minimizing and rationalizing?

Today a friend told me that she was only able to break free from the grip of compulsive worrying when one day she finally said out loud: “I like to worry.” That was hard for her to say.  But it was an essential first step for her to take in order to stop worrying and start trusting in God to take care of her and her family.

Before I could learn to HATE porn and turn my back on lust I had to face the fact that for years I had liked porn, perhaps even loved porn.  It’s impossible to treat an illness if we deny having the disease.

You may already know that the first of the 12 steps in AA is:  “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.”

The river Nile is the longest river in the world.  And DENIAL is one of the greatest problems any of us face as we seek to break from old destructive habits and build a new life built on the truth.

Those who are disciples of Jesus know that he has placed us in a family called the church.  There we have brothers and sisters who like us, are striving to live for Jesus, but like us, they have their own weaknesses, challenges, and struggles.  I pray the church can be a place for you and me to confess our sins one to another, pray with each other and find healing. This is certainly part of what the Lord had in mind when he placed us in this spiritual community.

“Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.”
James 5:16

I compare talking with a sponsor or a therapist or a good friend to looking in a mirror.  I may have a dirty spot on my face, but without the mirror, or another person to point it out to me, I am unaware of this fact.  If I ever want to grow and improve as a person, I need people in my life who can help me look at myself in the mirror and perceive my actions as they really are. It doesn’t do me any good to be surrounded by people who tell me what a great guy I am when my life is in shambles.  It is essential to talk with people who will point me to the truth and help me face reality.  Dallas Willard said reality is what you run into when you are wrong. A good friend who helped me with my recovery told me: “The truth hurts, but lies kill.”

Now I am very happy to declare, loud and clear, for everyone to hear: “I HATE PORN!”

By

Castimonia Purity Podcast Episode 91: Interview with Christopher Bueker

Join in on Doug and Chris’s conversation on how to help equip families and parents to talk about sex, pornography, and addiction.  Chris has a new book out on the topic, and learn some practical tips from him and his life experiences as well as his counseling expertise.

If you have questions or want to reach out, please email us at puritypodcast@castimonia.org, and remember that on this path of recovery, you are not walking alone.

By

Download a Free Parent’s Guide to Pornography below

Thanks to our friends at Axis.org for this incredible guide! If you have children, work in children’s ministry, or work with teens, then I highly recommend this site for resources. Please consider donating to this cause.

“The number of young Americans watching online videos every day has more than doubled. The survey of American youth included the responses of 1,677 young people, ages 8 to 18. Among other things, it found that 56% of 8- to 12-year-olds and 69% of 13- to 18-year-olds watch online videos every day. In 2015, the last time the survey was conducted, those figures were 24% and 34%, respectively.

– Common Sense Media

 The age of exposure to pornography is becoming younger and younger every year! Even if you are thinking, “Well, my kid doesn’t have a smartphone or internet access…” they could still be at risk. 


Their friends and peers may have been exposed to porn, and no parent can control what their kid sees outside of their home!  As parents, we need to have the conversation TODAY about pornography. We need to show the next generation how to interpret what they see if they’re ever exposed to pornography. Download a free Parent’s Guide to Pornography and start conversations today. 

Download PDF Guide Here

By

Pornography: The New Narcotic

Article by John Piper

Founder & Teacher, desiringGod.org

The new narcotic. Morgan Bennett just published an article by this title. The thesis:

Neurological research has revealed that the effect of internet pornography on the human brain is just as potent — if not more so — than addictive chemical substances such as cocaine or heroin.

To make matters worse, there are 1.9 million cocaine users, and 2 million heroin users, in the United States compared to 40 million regular users of online pornography.

Here’s why the addictive power of pornography can be worse:

Cocaine is considered a stimulant that increases dopamine levels in the brain. Dopamine is the primary neurotransmitter that most addictive substances release, as it causes a “high” and a subsequent craving for a repetition of the high, rather than a subsequent feeling of satisfaction by way of endorphins.

Heroin, on the other hand, is an opiate, which has a relaxing effect. Both drugs trigger chemical tolerance, which requires higher quantities of the drug to be used each time to achieve the same intensity of effect.

Pornography, by both arousing (the “high” effect via dopamine) and causing an orgasm (the “release” effect via opiates), is a type of polydrug that triggers both types of addictive brain chemicals in one punch, enhancing its addictive propensity.

But, Bennett says, “internet pornography does more than just spike the level of dopamine in the brain for a pleasure sensation. It literally changes the physical matter within the brain so that new neurological pathways require pornographic material in order to trigger the desired reward sensation.”

Think of the brain as a forest where trails are worn down by hikers who walk along the same path over and over again, day after day. The exposure to pornographic images creates similar neural pathways that, over time, become more and more “well-paved” as they are repeatedly traveled with each exposure to pornography. Those neurological pathways eventually become the trail in the brain’s forest by which sexual interactions are routed. Thus, a pornography user has “unknowingly created a neurological circuit” that makes his or her default perspective toward sexual matters ruled by the norms and expectations of pornography.

Not only do these addictive pathways cause us to filter all sexual stimulation through the pornographic filter; they awaken craving for “more novel pornographic content like more taboo sexual acts, child pornography, or sadomasochistic pornography.”

And it gets worse:

Another aspect of pornography addiction that surpasses the addictive and harmful characteristics of chemical substance abuse is its permanence. While substances can be metabolized out of the body, pornographic images cannot be metabolized out of the brain because pornographic images are stored in the brain’s memory.

“We are not mere victims of our eyes and our brains. The Holy Spirit has the greatest power.”

“In sum,” Bennett writes, “brain research confirms the critical fact that pornography is a drug delivery system that has a distinct and powerful effect upon the human brain and nervous system.”

None of this takes God by surprise. He designed the interplay between the brain and the soul. Discoveries of physical dimensions to spiritual reality do not nullify spiritual reality.

When Jesus said, “I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28), he saw with crystal clarity — the way a designer sees his invention — that the physical eye had profound effects on the spiritual “heart.”

And when the Old Testament wise man said in Proverbs 23:7, literally, “As he thinks in his soul, so is he,” he saw with similar clarity that soul acts create being. Thinking in the soul corresponds to “is.” And this “is” includes the body.

In other words, it goes both ways. Physical reality affects the heart. And the heart affects physical reality (the brain). Therefore, this horrific news from brain research about the enslaving power of pornography is not the last word. God has the last word. The Holy Spirit has the greatest power. We are not mere victims of our eyes and our brains. I know this both from Scripture and from experience. And I will write more about it next Tuesday. John Piper (@JohnPiper) is founder and teacher of desiringGod.org and chancellor of Bethlehem College & Seminary. For 33 years, he served as pastor of Bethlehem Baptist Church, Minneapolis, Minnesota. He is author of more than 50 books, including Desiring God: Meditations of a Christian Hedonist and most recently Providence.

By

The Serpent of Pornography and How to Crush it

I imagine Satan being very much like a cobra. Known for the hideous hood it extends when preparing to attack, it actually spits into the eyes of its victim before striking. With its target blinded and helpless, the serpent could easily squirm away into the brush. But this viper is not content with escape; it enjoys killing. With bared fangs, it lunges, injecting its deadly poison into its victim’s body. This is a fitting picture of the man lured into viewing pornography.

The Serpent of Pornography Deceives You

The temptation usually begins when he comes across a glimpse of flesh and/or a sexually suggestive hyper-link. It is just enough venom to temporarily blind him to the impending danger. The initial presentation is stimulating, creating a sensual atmosphere which spiritually incapacitates him.

It seems irresistible because it is laced with deception—namely, that the act of sin will bring about tremendous pleasure and satisfaction. The tantalizing thought is presented and all thoughts of resistance are forgotten. The act of sexual sin looks absolutely intoxicating and therefore irresistible. The serpent is extremely cunning. He slithers up to his unsuspecting victim, camouflaging the sin, presenting it under the perfect illusion of innocence. He times his attack to best accomplish his purpose, “to steal, and kill, and destroy’ God’s property.” Now the serpent moves in for the kill. That one glimpse of Porn unleashes a poison that rockets into the man’s soul and instantly spreads throughout his being. Just like a snakebite victim, he enters a catatonic state of mind: a sexual trance where all reason seems to abandon him. Lust rushes through his body; his face flushes with excitement; his palms get sweaty.

Solomon described this spiritual stupor this way: “With her many persuasions she entices him. With her flattering lips she seduces him. Suddenly he follows her as an ox goes to the slaughter, or as one in fetters to the discipline of a fool, until an arrow pierces through his liver; as a bird hastens to the snare, so he does not know that it will cost him his life.”  Proverbs 7:21-23

The Serpent of Pornography Impairs You

Once a snake bites, its victim then becomes vulnerable to other predators.

Some time ago, I watched a National Geographic special that showed a lioness who had been bitten by a cobra. For days, she suffered under the effects of its venom. Weakened to the point of collapse, she faced great danger from a roving pack of ravenous hyenas. She was helpless to defend herself from their savage attacks.

This is certainly true of the man who views pornography. Its poison, rather than dissipating after he has completed his act of lust, continues to contaminate his heart over the coming days. Its toxin remains in his system, altering his perspectives, polluting his mind, and spreading darkness over his soul. The lust it initially appealed to is now inflamed into burning desire. Rather than satisfying the man’s sexual passion, it only serves to further ignite it.

Not only must the infected man deal with the after-effects of the bite, but now he is even more weakened spiritually against the enemies of his soul. He attempts to go about his daily routines, but lascivious memories continue to haunt him. These images are like Third World beggars crowding around him, clamoring for another handout. No matter how much you give them, they’re never satisfied. Indeed, every gift only emboldens them to demand more.

The Serpent of Pornography Must Be Crushed

Christian men must do everything within their power to crush the serpent of pornography. Two practical measures a man should take include: installing a filter on his Internet devices, and controlling his television viewing. However, the fact remains that we live in a snake-infested world. In our day and age, it is almost inevitable that men will face this temptation at some point. The wise believer will prepare himself for that day with the Word of God.

When a man “receives with meekness the engrafted word,” he will discerns the source of temptation that comes his way. He understands that, behind the beautiful illusion of pleasure, there is a snake—coiled and ready to strike. He has been bitten by it before and has learned the hard way the price that is paid for every indulgence. He has the heart-knowledge (much different from head knowledge) to “be a doer of the Word” and turn away from the temptation.

Time spent in the Word everyday builds up a man’s immune system against the poison of pornography. The scriptures are simply the thinking and perspectives of the Lord. As a man continually immerses himself in the Bible, he will gradually take on God’s mindset toward life, people and, yes, even sexuality. A man who devotes daily time to the Word is given spiritual insight into the power of temptation and how it works. Just as the Word of God prepares a man to face temptation, it is also the only antidote for the man once he has been bitten by the serpent of lust. Regular doses of Scripture are the very thing he needs to be built up spiritually and thus counteract the effects of the poison of pornography. “Precept upon precept; line upon line; here a little, and there a little…” Isaiah 28:10

It is only the “Sword of the Spirit” that can sever the head of the serpent of porn.

Source : Pure Life Ministries. – Steve Gallagher