CASTIMONIA

Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

pornography addiction

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10 Porn Addiction Signs & Symptoms to Expect

Here are signs and symptoms of porn addiction:

1. Isolation: Isolation is common for people who are dealing out of control sexual behavior. When people are dealing with porn addictions, this is a common symptom that they and partners describe. There is often an increased pulling away from the family and other responsibilities.

Isolation is often used as a tool to manage stress and other difficult emotions. Pornography, dating apps, and other technology can often be used as numbing tools. Numbing alone isn’t an addiction, but numbing can lead to compulsive behavior.

2. Irritability: Irritability is common with sexual compulsivity. When people are making behavioral changes, this is can be due to anxiety that comes from abrupt changes in behavior. Some also experience a loss that goes with making big life changes. Counseling can often help people increase tolerance to discomfort.

3. Shame: For some people struggling with sex addiction, shame can be a serious problem. Low shame resilience isn’t caused by compulsive behaviors, but it certainly can reinforce negative feelings about yourself. When shame increases, so does the risk of compulsive behavior. Many have been discovered cheating and telling lies. This can lead to serious feelings of disconnection. Shame resilience is important in any recovery plan.

4. Depression: Depression can be something that leads to out of control sexual behavior or something that increases from dealing with an addiction. Without out of control behavior, you might be face-to-face with the lack of connection that you’re having with your partner. Some deal with feelings such as boredom, which are related to depression. Others deal with more intense feelings of depression. Either way, these things are important to address. Therapies such as Somatic Experiencing, EMDR, ACT, and CBT can be helpful.

5. Loss of Interest: During sex addiction recovery, you may experience loss of interest in addition to your depression. This can be a loss of interest in many things, including sex itself. It can be difficult to stay mentally present and engaged. This isn’t something that changes overnight, but it’s something that you’ll want to work on with your therapist in your recovery.

6. Relapse: Relapsing is common. It’s also complicated. Those who identify as addicts use the term relapse to describe them returning to old coping behaviors. This term can help those who identify as addicts.

Others who don’t identify with the term addiction, often still struggle to make life changes in their behavior patterns.

Whether the term fits or not, people have to deal with guilt and shame that they feel about motivation to change.

7. Mood Swings: Mood swings are to be expected as you adjust to life with new coping behaviors. As you distance yourself from the out of control behavior, your mind and body will become better adjusted to life with balance. During this process, however, you may experience anger, sadness, fear, anxiety, and more during various part of the day for no particular reason.

8. Relationship issues: Whether people are in long term relationships or not, relationship strain is common when dealing with out of control behaviors. This can be a relationship with others, but also your relationship with yourself. It’s important to develop relationships that have boundaries and can build trust and commitment.

9. Dysphoria: This symptom is commonly overlooked but some may experience when recovering from sex addiction. Dysphoria is a state of severe unease or dissatisfaction with one’s life, body, or overall circumstances. It is closely related to depression, but it may be specifically attached to feeling uneasy about recovery or making life changes. This can make it difficult to stick with plans long enough for changes to occur. The best way to deal with this symptom is to speak openly to your doctor or counselor and learn which options are available to you.

10. Sexual Avoidance: It’s pretty common for people to feel so ashamed that they end up avoiding sex altogether. This can be because you feel unworthy of sex from the shame that you’re experiencing. Sexual avoidance can be another extreme and can become its own type of compulsion.

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How to Overcome Porn Addiction – Step One: The Battle of the Mind

Originally posted by: https://authorjonparker.com/2021/02/25/how-to-overcome-porn-addiction-step-one-the-battle-of-the-mind/

If you read my post on The Porn Problem: 7 Negative Effects of Porn Consumption, you will have been expecting this. This post is the first in a series of how I overcame porn addiction. I’m going to take it one step at a time to give you enough time to implement each step as I write them. This isn’t a race. It is a process which I hope you take seriously. And it won’t work if you just read the posts then go on about life without ever applying the information. If you’re serious, read on.

I’ll be honest with you, it didn’t happen without God. It doesn’t happen without God. At least not for me. My record of overcoming this addiction in my own willpower is somewhere between one and two months. I have not overcome this on my own, but only by the grace of God.

I put that up front because I know some of you don’t believe in God. My hope is that you’ll see the power of relying on an eternal, unchanging, perfect God to hold you steady, and the truth that this is far more powerful than trying to keep yourself from falling off the tightrope without God. I know it’s not a snap of the fingers and suddenly you go from atheist to theist, but I hope this seed sprouts in you nonetheless.

Now that I’ve said that, there are some practical things you can do, which I did and continue to do, that will help tremendously in overcoming porn addiction. I want to first talk about mindset.

If you’ve got the mindset of an addict, you won’t overcome porn addiction, or any other addiction for that matter. A porn free future starts with you deciding to change your mind and to hold captive every thought that enters your mind. Sound difficult? It is. It absolutely takes practice and you will probably not always succeed, especially not at first, but it is worth it.

I think the best thing I ever learned was that I could control what I thought about. You see, most people are like I used to be, just living in a constant stream of unregulated stimulus from the outside world. Most people do not know that you don’t have to ponder every single thing that pops into your mind. A really good book on the subject is Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer.

Years ago I heard a preacher, Andrew Wommack, say something that has stuck with me ever since. He said, “You can’t stop a bird from flying over your head, but you can stop it from making a nest in your hair.”

Those words struck me powerfully because I had simply never thought of it like that before. You can’t stop thoughts from popping into your head, but you can control whether or not you dwell on them. Learning this has helped me to overcome not only porn addiction, but also intrusive thoughts. Those little blighters caused by things like anxiety, OCD, and depression.

It is a simple yet powerful shift in mindset that has proven to me to be something which has made my life immensely more enjoyable. It’s not perfect, and sometimes I fail. Often, actually. But the power is in the continued practice of it. Of being mindful of where your mind is wandering and taking back control of the reins.

So start working on that now. You may not overcome porn addiction this very instant, or you might, but either way, start putting effort into controlling where your mind goes. Do not dwell on the thoughts which make you want to go watch porn. You know what they are. If you don’t know what those trigger thoughts are, start paying attention to that. What were you thinking about just before the last time you watched porn? Like I said, if you aren’t sure then you need to spend some serious time working on knowing what thoughts are in your mind, where they’re coming from, and which of those thoughts are triggers for you.

This is not a quick fix.

It is not a bandaid.

It will take time.

If you want to overcome porn addiction, set yourself up for success and work on gaining control over your own thoughts. Read the above listed book. Look for more resources and books that will teach you how to control your mind. It will likely be the best thing you can ever do for yourself.

I can’t stress enough how important this step is. Take it seriously because without gaining control over your thoughts you will not overcome porn addiction.

I will post Step 2 in the near future. See you then. If you have any questions at all, drop them in the comment section below and I’ll respond as soon as I can.

Until next time,
JP

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The Race

attributed to Dr. D.H. “Dee” Groberg

Whenever I start to hang my head in front of failure’s face,
my downward fall is broken by the memory of a race.
A children’s race, young boys, young men; how I remember well,
excitement sure, but also fear, it wasn’t hard to tell.
They all lined up so full of hope, each thought to win that race
or tie for first, or if not that, at least take second place.
Their parents watched from off the side, each cheering for their son,
and each boy hoped to show his folks that he would be the one.

The whistle blew and off they flew, like chariots of fire,
to win, to be the hero there, was each young boy’s desire.
One boy in particular, whose dad was in the crowd,
was running in the lead and thought “My dad will be so proud.”
But as he speeded down the field and crossed a shallow dip,
the little boy who thought he’d win, lost his step and slipped.
Trying hard to catch himself, his arms flew everyplace,
and midst the laughter of the crowd he fell flat on his face.
As he fell, his hope fell too; he couldn’t win it now.
Humiliated, he just wished to disappear somehow.

But as he fell his dad stood up and showed his anxious face,
which to the boy so clearly said, “Get up and win that race!”
He quickly rose, no damage done, behind a bit that’s all,
and ran with all his mind and might to make up for his fall.
So anxious to restore himself, to catch up and to win,
his mind went faster than his legs. He slipped and fell again.
He wished that he had quit before with only one disgrace.
“I’m hopeless as a runner now, I shouldn’t try to race.”

But through the laughing crowd he searched and found his father’s face
with a steady look that said again, “Get up and win that race!”
So he jumped up to try again, ten yards behind the last.
“If I’m to gain those yards,” he thought, “I’ve got to run real fast!”
Exceeding everything he had, he regained eight, then ten…
but trying hard to catch the lead, he slipped and fell again.
Defeat! He lay there silently. A tear dropped from his eye.
“There’s no sense running anymore! Three strikes I’m out! Why try?
I’ve lost, so what’s the use?” he thought. “I’ll live with my disgrace.”
But then he thought about his dad, who soon he’d have to face.

“Get up,” an echo sounded low, “you haven’t lost at all,
for all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.
Get up!” the echo urged him on, “Get up and take your place!
You were not meant for failure here! Get up and win that race!”
So, up he rose to run once more, refusing to forfeit,
and he resolved that win or lose, at least he wouldn’t quit.
So far behind the others now, the most he’d ever been,
still he gave it all he had and ran like he could win.
Three times he’d fallen stumbling, three times he rose again.
Too far behind to hope to win, he still ran to the end.

They cheered another boy who crossed the line and won first place,
head high and proud and happy — no falling, no disgrace.
But, when the fallen youngster crossed the line, in last place,
the crowd gave him a greater cheer for finishing the race.
And even though he came in last with head bowed low, unproud,
you would have thought he’d won the race, to listen to the crowd.
And to his dad he sadly said, “I didn’t do so well.”
“To me, you won,” his father said. “You rose each time you fell.”

And now when things seem dark and bleak and difficult to face,
the memory of that little boy helps me in my own race.
For all of life is like that race, with ups and downs and all.
And all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.
And when depression and despair shout loudly in my face,
another voice within me says, “Get up and win that race!”

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New Castimonia Meeting in Batesville, Arkansas Starting June 7th!

I am humbled to announce that the Arkansas team based out of Searcy, AR will be starting a new Castimonia meeting in Batesville, AR on Monday, June 7th! Meeting info is listed below:

Monday Nights
7:00PM – 8:30PM
St. Paul’s Episcopal Church
424 E. Main St.
Batesville, AR 72501
Contact: Doug at 281.665.0280

Thank you to all these men in Arkansas doing the Lord’s work to help individuals fight for their sexual purity!

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My Value Doesn’t Equal What I Do

SOURCE:  Brad Rymer/Living Free

“For my part, I am going to boast about nothing but the Cross of our Master, Jesus Christ. Because of that Cross, I have been crucified in relation to the world, set free from the stifling atmosphere of pleasing others and fitting into the little patterns that they dictate. Can’t you see the central issue in all this? It is not what you and I do—submit to circumcision, reject circumcision. It is what God is doing, and he is creating something totally new, a free life! All who walk by this standard are the true Israel of God—his chosen people. Peace and mercy on them!  Galatians 6:14-16 MSG

Wanting to perform at a level of excellence is admirable. The problem is we are not created to be excellent at everything. The world seems to expect us to be, however, and we sometimes take on unrealistic views of what to expect from ourselves.

Our human tendency is to base our value on how well we perform. We strive to accomplish many things to feel a sense of value and worth. When we do well, we feel good about ourselves. When we don’t meet expectations we or others have placed on us, we see ourselves as failures.

The possibility of trying to earn God’s and others’ love through how we perform and what we accomplish can overshadow the truth that God loves us for who we are. You may have heard it said that we are human beings, not human “doings.”

God loves you for who you are–his creation. He loves you unconditionally. He won’t love you any more–or any less–because of your performance. Take comfort and rest in knowing that who you are is more important than what you can do. In God’s eyes, you are valuable because he created you and loves you. You belong to him not because of what you have done but because of what Jesus did for you. When you accepted Christ as Lord and Savior, you became a new creation.

It is not what you do. “It is what God is doing, and he is creating something totally new, a free life!”

Father, help me remember that my performance, my ability to succeed according to the world’s standards, does not determine my value. But I am valuable because you love me unconditionally, because Jesus died on the cross for me, and because of the person you are molding me to be. In Jesus’ name . . .