CASTIMONIA

Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

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Castimonia Retreat 60% Full! Register Today!

The Castimonia retreat this coming November is at 60% capacity. If you intend to register for the retreat, please do so ASAP.

If you need a scholarship, we have 50% and 100% scholarships available for those that cannot afford to attend. Please send an e-mail to info@castimonia.org to apply for a scholarship.

You can register for the retreat by following this link: http://castimonia.org/retreat

Retreat Details:
Dates: November 19 – 21
Cost: $160 early bird registration (Aug 1 to Sept 30)/$180 regular registration (Oct 1 to Nov 10)

Retreat registration includes room and board at the retreat center. Please bring twin size bedding or a sleeping bag and pillow for the beds.

Castimonia’s Paratus Retreat is a retreat for any man who struggles with any type of sexual purity.  Paratus, Latin for “equipped”.

If you are wondering about whether to attend this retreat, ask yourself these questions:

  • Do you know the meaning of intimacy?
  • Do you struggle with being intimate with your spouse or others?
  • Are you fully equipped for the spiritual battle that is raging around us right now?
  • Are you a man who strives for biblical sexual purity and intimacy with other men?
  • Are you a man who struggles with maintaining that sexual purity or being intimate?
  • Do you want a circle of brothers helping you in your sexual purity and intimacy journey?

Join us for a weekend dedicated to equipping adult men of all ages, all walks of life, and various levels of struggle with the tools necessary to wage this spiritual battle and emerge on the other side as the sexually pure men that God intended us to be.

At the Paratus Retreat, we will discuss strategies for equipping ourselves with tactics necessary for battling the enemy. We will discover the true meaning of brotherhood, fellowship, and intimacy. The leaders of the Paratus Retreat will set the example of vulnerability and accountability. We hope to pave the way for all men to be fully equipped to wage war against Satan’s tempting assaults and emerge VICTORIOUS.

The ultimate affirmation for all men is to hear at the end of days, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

A wise man is strong, And a man of knowledge increases power. For by wise guidance you will wage war, And in abundance of counselors there is victory. Proverbs 24:5-6

Start: November 19 – 04:30 pm End: November 21 – 12:00 pm Organizer: Castimonia Restoration Ministry, Inc.

Email: Retreat@Castimonia.org Website: http://castimonia.org/retreat Venue:

Cat Spring Retreat Center 14852 Hall Road Cat Spring, TX, US, 78933

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“I Like Pornography.”

Originally posted at: https://jesusbetter.wordpress.com/2021/04/28/i-like-pornography/

I denied my love for lust and porn for well over three decades.  I would never have said “I like pornography”.  I believed I was a good, Christian man.  I told myself that I wanted to break free from the habitual sin of looking at naked women.  I kept this sin a secret from everyone (except from God, of course).  And in my own mind I never thought of it as pornography.  I just liked to look at beautiful bodies.  I just enjoyed being stimulated and aroused.  And I was going to stop because this was going to be the last time I did it.

From my background of having dealt with a secret sin for decades, I have come to see how essential it is for us reach out for help, admit our weaknesses and talk about our mistakes.  I was never going to find freedom from this ugly sin until I sought help.  I was never going to reach out for the help I needed until I admitted to myself how serious my problem was.  Minimizing my compulsive addiction to pornography meant that I would never escape and fine the freedom I so dearly needed.

The counselor I saw for a few months told me that Freud said “talking cures”. Talking helps lessen my anxiety as I open up about my feelings.  For me, it was important to voice my mistakes and get them out in the open.  Saying it all out loud to another person forced me to face the severity of what I had done and my drastic need to make real and lasting changes.  For me to look my therapist in the eye and confess that I looked at pictures of naked women and then fantasized about being with them while I masturbated to reach orgasm was extremely difficult. Yet what better way to eliminate all of my minimizing and rationalizing?

Today a friend told me that she was only able to break free from the grip of compulsive worrying when one day she finally said out loud: “I like to worry.” That was hard for her to say.  But it was an essential first step for her to take in order to stop worrying and start trusting in God to take care of her and her family.

Before I could learn to HATE porn and turn my back on lust I had to face the fact that for years I had liked porn, perhaps even loved porn.  It’s impossible to treat an illness if we deny having the disease.

You may already know that the first of the 12 steps in AA is:  “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.”

The river Nile is the longest river in the world.  And DENIAL is one of the greatest problems any of us face as we seek to break from old destructive habits and build a new life built on the truth.

Those who are disciples of Jesus know that he has placed us in a family called the church.  There we have brothers and sisters who like us, are striving to live for Jesus, but like us, they have their own weaknesses, challenges, and struggles.  I pray the church can be a place for you and me to confess our sins one to another, pray with each other and find healing. This is certainly part of what the Lord had in mind when he placed us in this spiritual community.

“Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.”
James 5:16

I compare talking with a sponsor or a therapist or a good friend to looking in a mirror.  I may have a dirty spot on my face, but without the mirror, or another person to point it out to me, I am unaware of this fact.  If I ever want to grow and improve as a person, I need people in my life who can help me look at myself in the mirror and perceive my actions as they really are. It doesn’t do me any good to be surrounded by people who tell me what a great guy I am when my life is in shambles.  It is essential to talk with people who will point me to the truth and help me face reality.  Dallas Willard said reality is what you run into when you are wrong. A good friend who helped me with my recovery told me: “The truth hurts, but lies kill.”

Now I am very happy to declare, loud and clear, for everyone to hear: “I HATE PORN!”

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Castimonia Purity Podcast Episode 91: Interview with Christopher Bueker

Join in on Doug and Chris’s conversation on how to help equip families and parents to talk about sex, pornography, and addiction.  Chris has a new book out on the topic, and learn some practical tips from him and his life experiences as well as his counseling expertise.

If you have questions or want to reach out, please email us at puritypodcast@castimonia.org, and remember that on this path of recovery, you are not walking alone.

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Ask Us: Common Questions Asked by Partners of Sex Addicts

Originally posted at: https://sexaddictionpartners.wordpress.com/2021/02/20/ask-us-common-questions-asked-by-partners-of-sex-addicts/

Below are some questions we’re often asked when spouses learn that their partner has a sex addiction – a very distressing and disorienting experience.

1. Is it possible to identify when the addiction began?

The majority of guys say they stumbled upon porn, or were actively shown porn, at around 10 years of age. They remember the adrenalin rush they experienced, and the powerful pull to view more images, or to watch more videos.

2. Why did my partner hide it from me?Why did he choose to lie and deceive me?

Although guys know lots of people look at porn all the time, they’re usually convinced that their partner will be shocked. And their greatest fear is that you’ll walk away.

So, coming clean with you feels incredibly threatening. They’re terrified they’ll lose you, and their life will fall apart. There is also shame and guilt around a sex addiction being negatively judged by society. All of this adds to the need for secrecy.

3. How much do I need to know about the past, and his level of involvement?

If you work with a counsellor on a formal disclosure, your partner will be asked to list everything he’s been involved in (pornography, webcams, dating sites and apps, sensual massages, escorts, prostitutes, emotional affairs, etc.). He’ll also be asked to put dates to these behaviours, and to be honest about the frequency.

It is important that you know the extent of the addiction, and to also be aware of what you might have been exposed to (STDs etc.). However, most counsellors discourage pushing too hard for specific details (What was she wearing? What was her figure like? What exactly did you do?) The reason? Once you have those pictures in your mind, it’s almost impossible to extricate them. Hence, they can intensify your suffering and become extremely powerful triggers.

4.  What was going through his mind, as he became more and more addicted?

Feelings of guilt and shame intensify – because of what he’s doing and the double life he’s leading. One way to deal with this, and to cope with life in general, is to compartmentalize, and deny he has a problem. This is a very common coping strategy.

In reality, most addicts want to stop eventually. They want to gain control of their lives. They tell themselves repeatedly that: “This is the last time.” But because they are addicted, they get drawn in again.

5. What is the turning point; what makes the addict come clean?

Very few guys come clean on their own. Most of them are caught by their wife or their boss. Sometimes they are blackmailed, or an affair partner threatens to reveal their secret. This is usually a crisis for the addict.

Saying that, very few addicts reveal everything at first. They admit to the minimum they think they can get away with. Then they drip feed the truth over weeks, months, or years. This adds to the trauma for the partner or spouse.

6. What could I have done to stop this happening?

Nothing. In almost every case, we find the partner was a user, and was going down this road, before they met their spouse or partner. The most important thing to take away from all of this is: you didn’t play a part. It was not your fault AT ALL.

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Download a Free Parent’s Guide to Pornography below

Thanks to our friends at Axis.org for this incredible guide! If you have children, work in children’s ministry, or work with teens, then I highly recommend this site for resources. Please consider donating to this cause.

“The number of young Americans watching online videos every day has more than doubled. The survey of American youth included the responses of 1,677 young people, ages 8 to 18. Among other things, it found that 56% of 8- to 12-year-olds and 69% of 13- to 18-year-olds watch online videos every day. In 2015, the last time the survey was conducted, those figures were 24% and 34%, respectively.

– Common Sense Media

 The age of exposure to pornography is becoming younger and younger every year! Even if you are thinking, “Well, my kid doesn’t have a smartphone or internet access…” they could still be at risk. 


Their friends and peers may have been exposed to porn, and no parent can control what their kid sees outside of their home!  As parents, we need to have the conversation TODAY about pornography. We need to show the next generation how to interpret what they see if they’re ever exposed to pornography. Download a free Parent’s Guide to Pornography and start conversations today. 

Download PDF Guide Here