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So the Lord sent Nathan, the prophet to tell David… – 2 Samuel 12:1a
Throughout my life, I lived a fragmented existence. I had a separate compartment for each of my identities. I put on my father and husband identity while home with my family. When I left for work, I put that persona away and donned my ambitious and cutthroat corporate climber appearance. At church and with family, I became a devout Christ follower and judgmental Pharisee. In isolation and shame, my addict ruled them all. That was my story. Isolated. Alone. Transparent to no one. Accountable to myself.
King David, yes that King David, had it all. His story was the basis for all rags to riches stories. He was a shepherd. The youngest son. The least of these. And who Samuel described as “a man after God’s own heart” when revealing to Saul that he would lose his kingdom. David ascended to the throne, united the Israelites, and dominated his enemies. He lived in community with God, transparent. Until he didn’t.
The Israelites had engaged in battle with their enemy, the Ammonites and had routed their forces. David sent his army to lay siege to their capital city. It was spring time, the time when kings went out to battle with their armies. But David stayed behind. He stayed home. Alone. Away from where he was supposed to be. Unaccountable. He went for a walk in the evening time. He saw Bathsheba. He wasn’t where he was supposed to be and had no one around to hold him accountable.
You know the story. He had Bathsheba brought to him. He slept with her and sent her away, thinking he was safe. His secret would remain that way. Only, she sent word to him that she was pregnant. So he tried to hide it. He had her husband brought in from the battlefield to spend time with his wife and sleep with her, thus hiding that David was actually the father. When that didn’t work, he orchestrated her husband Uriah’s death on the battle field. And promptly compartmentalized that and went on being king.
So the Lord sent Nathan, the prophet.
I have read that passage many times. I assumed that Nathan was sent to confront David because he was a prophet. Only, Nathan was much more than that to David. Nathan advised David earlier in his life to not focus on building a temple, that God had a different plan for his life. Nathan would later name David’s second son. Nathan would support David when one of David’s son would try to overthrow his kingdom. Nathan wasn’t just a prophet. He was a friend, a confidant, a brother. Someone who loved David enough to risk telling him the truth and hold him accountable.
The Lord sent Nathan to tell David a story of a rich man taking a poor man’s lamb, to illustrate power and influence unchecked, and to confront David for his hidden sin. Nathan obeyed God and called out his king and friend. When I read this story so many times before, I thought that was it. It wasn’t. Nathan remained loyal to David. God showed David mercy in judgment but also consequences in his sin. Nathan didn’t point a finger at David. He walked along side him through those consequences. He loved David and supported him as a friend the rest of his life.
Dan and Jay are my Nathans. So are Corey, Sean, Josh, Hayden, Jeff, Jeff, John, Doug, and so many others. Guys who love me, know me, and will absolutely hold me accountable in Christ. Surround yourself with people who know all of you and who love you enough to walk with you through your own celebrations and trials.
Why Community?
By Keith B.
They committed themselves to the teaching of the apostles, the life together, the common meal, and the prayers. Acts 2:42 (MSG)
My parents raised me in a Southern Baptist church. Other than my college years, I attended and remained involved in church most of my adult life. Pastors, teachers, friends all referenced the Acts and the New Testament church when emphasizing the importance of building community with other believers. I guess I believed that, thought I never could really explain why living in community had value. I didn’t really know what community meant.
My counselor Ken reminded me of who God is not long after I began meeting with him almost two years ago.
“God exists as the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit,” he said. “We receive life from the Father, we can live in relationship with God because of the sacrifice of the Son, and we receive direction daily through the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.”
That simple explanation helped me change my way of thinking about God. I started viewing Him as three parts of one whole, not as three separate entities. So what does that have to do with me and how I live my life?
I attend a cool Bible study on Thursday mornings. Two friends and I decided to start a group to study God’s word, develop intimate relationships with other men, and practice community. Last week, Brian led us through a discussion on the necessity, not the importance, the NECESSITY of community. Those of you who know me know I steal ideas shamelessly for my writing, so I am “re-purposing” Brian’s incredible lesson. I am at least giving credit, not something I always remember to do!
First, God designed us to live in community. He created us in His image. I read that so many times in Genesis but missed the point. His image isn’t singular. His image is three in one, the ultimate example of community.
In 2 Corinthians 13:11, Paul gave a final reminder that if we live in peace together, then God will be with us and bring us joy and peace. Most of my life, I lived in isolation. I attended church, Bible studies, groups. I had a relationship with my wife and sons. What I didn’t have was joy and peace, or true intimacy and honesty. I certainly didn’t bring peace to any of those relationships.
Because I didn’t open myself up fully to true intimacy and community, I missed the real blessings that come from living in God’s design. Romans 12:10 says we should love each other with “genuine affection and take delight in honoring each other.” God’s design for us to live in community with others allows Him to love us through others. He also wants us to live as a body so we can learn from each other. Ephesians 4:32 reminds us to forgive each other “just as through Christ, God forgave you.”
I started experiencing community through my recovery group meetings, sitting in a tight circle, sharing my garbage, and experiencing grace and love. Practicing intimacy through those groups allowed me to live in community in my Bible study class at church, in my recovery worship at Prodigal on Saturday nights, and most importantly with my wife and boys, slowly practicing God’s design for me…life in community, not in isolation.
Prodigal tonight at 5:30 pm – the Heart of the Matter
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Castimonia Purity Podcast Episode 55: Conversation About Finding Hope in Living Without Addiction
A listener calls in to talk with Doug about his take on choosing recovery and the hope that comes from living without addiction. Creating new patterns and new choices can be freeing, but there are still patterns of codependency and negative habits that will take time to work through.
Listen in to find elements that you identify with and look for ways to grow to find your serenity. Email us at puritypodcast@castimonia.org for more information or visit our podcast page at castimonia.org/podcasts. You can shop for the books mentioned on the show as well!
