The leaders of Castimonia would like to present some topics on Codependency in men and how it affects our relationships and how the fear of abandonment and feelings of entitlement from our own codependency led us to medicate these by sexually acting out. We do not condone codependent partners to leave one another, but to seek therapy and healing for themselves within the marriage or relationship in order to strengthen the couple and their relationship. The next few topics will strictly deal with male codependency.
Codependents have big hearts – too big. They rescue men, children, puppies, strangers, neighbors and friends. Their first thought is ‘what does my husband (wife) or my kids need, what will work best for them’. They do not think about their own needs enough. A huge part of their Recovery process is learning to take good care of their own needs. Codependents get lost for decades in the meeting of others needs while ignoring what their own hearts were trying to say to them. Codependents many times don’t have much going on in the hobby department. They have no time devoted to what makes themselves happy. Their lives aren’t really about them. They are rest starved, fun starved and inspiration starved. They need to learn to be selfish in a healthy way. They are parched ground lacking in color and joy. Codependents are way too passive and powerless. That is the deal that they choose. They pick controlling men (women) to marry. That was always the deal. Codependents do not know how to pleasantly set boundaries with consequences and teeth. They might lose they tempers from time to time, but then they go back to being too passive. It is their nature. Arguing with their controlling, defensive husband (wife) is like trying to argue with a brick wall. Codependents are voiceless. They seldom get heard by the people that they really need to get heard by. They are riding in a runaway van that their unhealthy husbands (wives) are… driving. It seems unfair but it is not. It is the deal that was struck from the very first date. From an article by Mark Smith http://www.familytreecounseling.com/fullarticle.php?aID=278
“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson
