CASTIMONIA

Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

sex addiction

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Castimonia Retreat 60% Full! Register Today!

The Castimonia retreat this coming November is at 60% capacity. If you intend to register for the retreat, please do so ASAP.

If you need a scholarship, we have 50% and 100% scholarships available for those that cannot afford to attend. Please send an e-mail to info@castimonia.org to apply for a scholarship.

You can register for the retreat by following this link: http://castimonia.org/retreat

Retreat Details:
Dates: November 19 – 21
Cost: $160 early bird registration (Aug 1 to Sept 30)/$180 regular registration (Oct 1 to Nov 10)

Retreat registration includes room and board at the retreat center. Please bring twin size bedding or a sleeping bag and pillow for the beds.

Castimonia’s Paratus Retreat is a retreat for any man who struggles with any type of sexual purity.  Paratus, Latin for “equipped”.

If you are wondering about whether to attend this retreat, ask yourself these questions:

  • Do you know the meaning of intimacy?
  • Do you struggle with being intimate with your spouse or others?
  • Are you fully equipped for the spiritual battle that is raging around us right now?
  • Are you a man who strives for biblical sexual purity and intimacy with other men?
  • Are you a man who struggles with maintaining that sexual purity or being intimate?
  • Do you want a circle of brothers helping you in your sexual purity and intimacy journey?

Join us for a weekend dedicated to equipping adult men of all ages, all walks of life, and various levels of struggle with the tools necessary to wage this spiritual battle and emerge on the other side as the sexually pure men that God intended us to be.

At the Paratus Retreat, we will discuss strategies for equipping ourselves with tactics necessary for battling the enemy. We will discover the true meaning of brotherhood, fellowship, and intimacy. The leaders of the Paratus Retreat will set the example of vulnerability and accountability. We hope to pave the way for all men to be fully equipped to wage war against Satan’s tempting assaults and emerge VICTORIOUS.

The ultimate affirmation for all men is to hear at the end of days, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

A wise man is strong, And a man of knowledge increases power. For by wise guidance you will wage war, And in abundance of counselors there is victory. Proverbs 24:5-6

Start: November 19 – 04:30 pm End: November 21 – 12:00 pm Organizer: Castimonia Restoration Ministry, Inc.

Email: Retreat@Castimonia.org Website: http://castimonia.org/retreat Venue:

Cat Spring Retreat Center 14852 Hall Road Cat Spring, TX, US, 78933

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Castimonia Purity Podcast Episode 91: Interview with Christopher Bueker

Join in on Doug and Chris’s conversation on how to help equip families and parents to talk about sex, pornography, and addiction.  Chris has a new book out on the topic, and learn some practical tips from him and his life experiences as well as his counseling expertise.

If you have questions or want to reach out, please email us at puritypodcast@castimonia.org, and remember that on this path of recovery, you are not walking alone.

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Ask Us: Common Questions Asked by Partners of Sex Addicts

Originally posted at: https://sexaddictionpartners.wordpress.com/2021/02/20/ask-us-common-questions-asked-by-partners-of-sex-addicts/

Below are some questions we’re often asked when spouses learn that their partner has a sex addiction – a very distressing and disorienting experience.

1. Is it possible to identify when the addiction began?

The majority of guys say they stumbled upon porn, or were actively shown porn, at around 10 years of age. They remember the adrenalin rush they experienced, and the powerful pull to view more images, or to watch more videos.

2. Why did my partner hide it from me?Why did he choose to lie and deceive me?

Although guys know lots of people look at porn all the time, they’re usually convinced that their partner will be shocked. And their greatest fear is that you’ll walk away.

So, coming clean with you feels incredibly threatening. They’re terrified they’ll lose you, and their life will fall apart. There is also shame and guilt around a sex addiction being negatively judged by society. All of this adds to the need for secrecy.

3. How much do I need to know about the past, and his level of involvement?

If you work with a counsellor on a formal disclosure, your partner will be asked to list everything he’s been involved in (pornography, webcams, dating sites and apps, sensual massages, escorts, prostitutes, emotional affairs, etc.). He’ll also be asked to put dates to these behaviours, and to be honest about the frequency.

It is important that you know the extent of the addiction, and to also be aware of what you might have been exposed to (STDs etc.). However, most counsellors discourage pushing too hard for specific details (What was she wearing? What was her figure like? What exactly did you do?) The reason? Once you have those pictures in your mind, it’s almost impossible to extricate them. Hence, they can intensify your suffering and become extremely powerful triggers.

4.  What was going through his mind, as he became more and more addicted?

Feelings of guilt and shame intensify – because of what he’s doing and the double life he’s leading. One way to deal with this, and to cope with life in general, is to compartmentalize, and deny he has a problem. This is a very common coping strategy.

In reality, most addicts want to stop eventually. They want to gain control of their lives. They tell themselves repeatedly that: “This is the last time.” But because they are addicted, they get drawn in again.

5. What is the turning point; what makes the addict come clean?

Very few guys come clean on their own. Most of them are caught by their wife or their boss. Sometimes they are blackmailed, or an affair partner threatens to reveal their secret. This is usually a crisis for the addict.

Saying that, very few addicts reveal everything at first. They admit to the minimum they think they can get away with. Then they drip feed the truth over weeks, months, or years. This adds to the trauma for the partner or spouse.

6. What could I have done to stop this happening?

Nothing. In almost every case, we find the partner was a user, and was going down this road, before they met their spouse or partner. The most important thing to take away from all of this is: you didn’t play a part. It was not your fault AT ALL.

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Download a Free Parent’s Guide to Pornography below

Thanks to our friends at Axis.org for this incredible guide! If you have children, work in children’s ministry, or work with teens, then I highly recommend this site for resources. Please consider donating to this cause.

“The number of young Americans watching online videos every day has more than doubled. The survey of American youth included the responses of 1,677 young people, ages 8 to 18. Among other things, it found that 56% of 8- to 12-year-olds and 69% of 13- to 18-year-olds watch online videos every day. In 2015, the last time the survey was conducted, those figures were 24% and 34%, respectively.

– Common Sense Media

 The age of exposure to pornography is becoming younger and younger every year! Even if you are thinking, “Well, my kid doesn’t have a smartphone or internet access…” they could still be at risk. 


Their friends and peers may have been exposed to porn, and no parent can control what their kid sees outside of their home!  As parents, we need to have the conversation TODAY about pornography. We need to show the next generation how to interpret what they see if they’re ever exposed to pornography. Download a free Parent’s Guide to Pornography and start conversations today. 

Download PDF Guide Here

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How Childhood Sexual Abuse Causes Physical And Mental Health Problems In Adults

Originally posted at: https://lookingforthelight.blog/2021/05/07/how-childhood-sexual-abuse-causes-physical-and-mental-health-problems-in-adults/

Carrying trauma from your childhood is so draining and it has far-reaching effects on your physical and mental health. Many people experience flashbacks and PTSD symptoms after surviving sexual abuse as a child, but often, the impact is less direct. Even those that do not think about the abuse itself that much and assume that they are not affected by the trauma that much may experience a range of mental and physical health issues. Survivors of childhood sexual abuse do not always connect the dots and they don’t realize that the issues they experience are related to their trauma.

Understanding what potential issues can be caused in adulthood can help survivors recognize when their trauma is affecting them. These are some of the most common physical and mental health issues caused by childhood sexual abuse. 

Depression

Depression is one of the most common mental health issues we face right now and there are a lot of reasons why people develop it in the first place. However, studies show that there is a strong correlation between people that experienced abuse as a child and people that suffer from serious depressive disorders. As an adult, attending depression counseling can help manage the symptoms and you may even be able to start unpacking some of that trauma.

However, research suggests that early intervention to support children is the key to avoiding this issue in later life. 

Substance Abuse And Eating Disorders 

Dangerous behaviors like substance abuse, [sexual addiction], and eating disorders are also more prevalent in survivors of childhood sexual abuse. The symptoms of trauma are often difficult to manage, especially if the survivor does not have the support that they need. Many sexual abuse survivors also suffer from other mental health issues and it’s common for them to self medicate with alcohol. [sex], or drugs. Eating disorders are often a way of gaining control over one aspect of their life because a person feels so out of control in other areas. 

Sexual Confusion

Sexual confusion is incredibly common in male survivors of childhood sexual assault. Boys that are abused by older men when they are too young to understand sexuality will be confused about whether they are homosexual or not. This confusion remains as they grow older and it can make it incredibly difficult for them to form meaningful relationships. 

Obesity 

We think of obesity as a fairly straightforward problem; if you eat too much, you gain weight. But it’s far more complicated than that and childhood sexual abuse often has a role to play. During a weight loss study, it was discovered that many of the participants that struggled to stop overeating had been abused as children. Further research in the area has shown that there is a direct correlation between obesity and childhood sexual abuse. 

If we are ever to deal with the issue of childhood sexual abuse and help survivors regain power over their lives, it is important that we understand just how much impact it has in adulthood. These are some of the most common ways that sexual abuse manifests in adulthood, but there are countless other health issues that it can cause.  

This is a collaborative post.

Melinda