CASTIMONIA

Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

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Monster vs. Pillar

This was sent to me from a friend of mine who knows I struggle with fear and anxiety due to unfounded fears.  I must remember, in my life and in my recovery, there are things out of my control that scare me, but I must remain committed to God.  He is my pillar of strength, He is in charge.

Two perspectives—we face both every day, but we can choose only one.

The first is a monster of emotion—sharp claws dripping with the blood of the unknown, a piercing voice shouting ugly, destructive words of worry. One blast of its awful breath can turn saints into practicing atheists.

Ever met this beast? Sure you have. Its name is Fear, and it comes in every shape and size. Fear of criticism, failure, disease, and death. Fear of rejection, unemployment, and financial ruin. Fear of how others may react. Fear of being yourself. Around everyimaginable corner, Fear lurks, waiting to poison your spirit and reduce your spiritual muscles to mental mush.

If the first perspective is a monster, the second is a pillar. It’s a decision—not an emotion. It’s a commitment to believe God is in charge.

The name of this perspective? Perfect Trust. In order to trust God perfectly, we must see our situations through eyes of faith, not our feelings. Either the Lord is sovereign and in full control, or He’s off His throne altogether. God isn’t “almost sovereign” any more than I’m “somewhat married.” Perfect Trust says He is sovereign—even when Fear would convince us otherwise.

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Castimonia Saturday Morning Meeting Topic – May 12, 2012

Jesus Calling – May 10th

Do not resist or run from the difficulties in your life.  These problems are not random mistakes; they are hand-tailored blessings designed for your benefit and growth.  Embrace all the circumstances that I allow in your life, trusting Me to bring good out of them.  View problems as opportunities to rely more fully on Me.

When you start to feel stressed, let those feelings alert you to your need for Me. Thus, your needs become doorways to deep dependence on Me and increasing intimacy between us.  Although self-sufficiency is acclaimed in the world, reliance on Me produces abundant living in My kingdom. Thank Me for the difficulties in your life, since they provide protection from the idolatry of self-reliance.

John 15:5; 2 Corinthians 1:8-9; Ephesians 5:20

This was the devotional read by one of my accountability partners during our most recent accountability meeting.  WOW!  How amazing is our God, who works all things for our good.  This also reminds me of how we define “Joy” at my church.  Joy is the steadfast assurance that God is in control.

Sometimes (or a lot of times) in my life, difficulties occur.  Prior to entering recovery, I relied only on myself, not on my God!  This is the way I grew up, relying only on me, because nobody else was going to watch after me, so I had to do it for myself.  Now, as a broken individual working towards wholeness, I must fully rely on God.  One of the many blessings from my recovery program is the thought that every single day, I need to be willing to turn my life and will over to the care of God.  It doesn’t always happen, from time to time I try to take my will back.  However, I acknowledge that I am willing on a daily basis, and my recovery is based on progress, not perfection.

The biggest blessing was when I hit rock bottom.  I was desperate, I wanted to run away, I wanted to go home, I wanted to live, I wanted to die.  Actually, I was in such turmoil that I didn’t know what I wanted, but God knew what I needed.  Again, He used my problems and mistakes to my benefit and growth.  I have seen time and time again how when I trust God to the fullest, he pulls me through every single difficulty I have faced and will face.  My sponsor always tells me, “it’s going to be OK, and if it’s not, then God is not finished.”  Keep in mind that “OK” to God, is not always the same “OK” it is for me.  I might not like what God’s version of “OK” is, but I need to keep in mind that it is in my best interest and maintain that “Joy” in my heart.  If it took me hitting rock bottom and going through that pain and suffering to bring me closer to God, to help me trust Him, to bring about an intimate connection that I didn’t have before, then it was all worth it and I would do it again.

Take what you like and leave the rest.

References:

John 15:5 – “Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.”

2 Corinthians 1:8-9 – 8 We think you ought to know, dear brothers and sisters, about the trouble we went through in the province of Asia. We were crushed and overwhelmed beyond our ability to endure, and we thought we would never live through it. 9 In fact, we expected to die. But as a result, we stopped relying on ourselves and learned to rely only on God, who raises the dead.

Ephesians 5:20 – And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.