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Recovery Articles

June 1, 2021 By Castimonia

The Race

attributed to Dr. D.H. “Dee” Groberg

Whenever I start to hang my head in front of failure’s face,
my downward fall is broken by the memory of a race.
A children’s race, young boys, young men; how I remember well,
excitement sure, but also fear, it wasn’t hard to tell.
They all lined up so full of hope, each thought to win that race
or tie for first, or if not that, at least take second place.
Their parents watched from off the side, each cheering for their son,
and each boy hoped to show his folks that he would be the one.

The whistle blew and off they flew, like chariots of fire,
to win, to be the hero there, was each young boy’s desire.
One boy in particular, whose dad was in the crowd,
was running in the lead and thought “My dad will be so proud.”
But as he speeded down the field and crossed a shallow dip,
the little boy who thought he’d win, lost his step and slipped.
Trying hard to catch himself, his arms flew everyplace,
and midst the laughter of the crowd he fell flat on his face.
As he fell, his hope fell too; he couldn’t win it now.
Humiliated, he just wished to disappear somehow.

But as he fell his dad stood up and showed his anxious face,
which to the boy so clearly said, “Get up and win that race!”
He quickly rose, no damage done, behind a bit that’s all,
and ran with all his mind and might to make up for his fall.
So anxious to restore himself, to catch up and to win,
his mind went faster than his legs. He slipped and fell again.
He wished that he had quit before with only one disgrace.
“I’m hopeless as a runner now, I shouldn’t try to race.”

But through the laughing crowd he searched and found his father’s face
with a steady look that said again, “Get up and win that race!”
So he jumped up to try again, ten yards behind the last.
“If I’m to gain those yards,” he thought, “I’ve got to run real fast!”
Exceeding everything he had, he regained eight, then ten…
but trying hard to catch the lead, he slipped and fell again.
Defeat! He lay there silently. A tear dropped from his eye.
“There’s no sense running anymore! Three strikes I’m out! Why try?
I’ve lost, so what’s the use?” he thought. “I’ll live with my disgrace.”
But then he thought about his dad, who soon he’d have to face.

“Get up,” an echo sounded low, “you haven’t lost at all,
for all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.
Get up!” the echo urged him on, “Get up and take your place!
You were not meant for failure here! Get up and win that race!”
So, up he rose to run once more, refusing to forfeit,
and he resolved that win or lose, at least he wouldn’t quit.
So far behind the others now, the most he’d ever been,
still he gave it all he had and ran like he could win.
Three times he’d fallen stumbling, three times he rose again.
Too far behind to hope to win, he still ran to the end.

They cheered another boy who crossed the line and won first place,
head high and proud and happy — no falling, no disgrace.
But, when the fallen youngster crossed the line, in last place,
the crowd gave him a greater cheer for finishing the race.
And even though he came in last with head bowed low, unproud,
you would have thought he’d won the race, to listen to the crowd.
And to his dad he sadly said, “I didn’t do so well.”
“To me, you won,” his father said. “You rose each time you fell.”

And now when things seem dark and bleak and difficult to face,
the memory of that little boy helps me in my own race.
For all of life is like that race, with ups and downs and all.
And all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.
And when depression and despair shout loudly in my face,
another voice within me says, “Get up and win that race!”

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: poem, porn, porn addiction, pornography addiction, Sex, sexual purity, The Race

May 28, 2021 By Castimonia

Castimonia Monday Katy Meeting Cancelled – 5/31

In observance of Memorial Day, the Monday night Castimonia meeting in Katy will be cancelled. The meeting will resume the following Monday. For another Monday night meeting, please visit the Fairfield meeting or log into the online Zoom meeting.

Filed Under: General Meeting Information Tagged With: porn, Sex

May 28, 2021 By Castimonia

10 Steps to Overcoming Pornography Addiction

Originally posted at: https://annaanitasblog.wordpress.com/2020/09/20/10-steps-to-overcoming-pornography-addiction/

How to Quit Porn

1. First, you must acknowledge the addiction exists. Many who are caught in the trap of addiction will adamantly deny the problem. He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion. – Proverbs 28:13

2. You must recognize that what you are doing is wrong. Addicts find a way to justify their problem in their mind. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world. – I John 2:16

3. You must not blame others – “If my wife/husband were just more affectionate.” … “If women/men were not so seductive.” Adam blamed Eve and she blamed the serpent. Instead, you must begin to take responsibility for your actions.

4. Make yourself accountable to a spiritual authority, perhaps a pastor or mature believer. Everybody needs a “safe” person to share their struggles with. Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. – James 5:16


5. You must recognize that “willpower” is not the answer. At a weak moment, your “will” may fail you. By admitting that you are in need of God’s help, you open access to His supernatural intervention in your life. You must yield your will to God’s will. That’s when He can begin a new work in your life.

6. Study the Word of God concerning sexual purity. Therefore putting aside all filthiness and all that remains of wickedness, in humility receive the Word implanted, which is able to save your souls. – James 1:21

7. You must destroy any pornography in your possession. You can’t wean yourself off pornography. Think of the hidden pornography in your home as a ticking time bomb that will ultimately destroy your family and marriage.

8. You must learn to flee temptation. Self-deception may enter when you think you can play with fire without getting burned. Do not enter the path of the wicked, and do not proceed in the way of evil men. Avoid it, do not pass by it. Turn away from it and pass on. – Proverbs 4:14,15

9. Give yourself time to work through the process of recovery. More often than not, God chooses to take us through a learning and growing process, that can be very painful. Victory over addiction should be viewed as a marathon, not a sprint.

10. It’s cliché, but you must approach your addiction one day at a time. Look for little victories and rejoice in the progress you’re making. Recovery is a cinch by the inch, but a trial by the mile.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: porn addiction, recovery

May 26, 2021 By Castimonia

New Castimonia Meeting in Batesville, Arkansas Starting June 7th!

I am humbled to announce that the Arkansas team based out of Searcy, AR will be starting a new Castimonia meeting in Batesville, AR on Monday, June 7th! Meeting info is listed below:

Monday Nights
7:00PM – 8:30PM
St. Paul’s Episcopal Church
424 E. Main St.
Batesville, AR 72501
Contact: Doug at 281.665.0280

Thank you to all these men in Arkansas doing the Lord’s work to help individuals fight for their sexual purity!

Filed Under: General Meeting Information Tagged With: porn addiction, pornography, pornography addiction, Sex, sex addiction, sexual

May 26, 2021 By K.LeVeq

Rebellion and Restoration

Then you must throw this man out and hand him over to Satan so that his sinful nature will be destroyed and he himself will be saved on the day the Lord returns. 1 Corinthians 5:5 

What do we do when our brothers in Christ continue in rebellion?

How many people do you know in recovery? Now, how many people do you know who have been in your recovery meetings and have dropped out…or you don’t know what happened to them…or they just quit working through the steps?

Unfortunately, for every person who sits next to me in a circle I can think of many faces when I look at the empty chair in the middle. As a new sponsor, I thought I could will my sponsees through the steps. If they would just learn from my mistakes, stay diligent, repent, turn toward sobriety and restoration…they could avoid inflicting additional pain on their families and themselves. 

Its easy for me to remember the second part of my journey through recovery, when I finally got serious about recovery. That is the part I want to impart on the people I meet in these meetings, that I spend time with on phone calls or sit next to in rooms. Stop now, go to meetings, get a sponsor, work the steps, stay in accountability, check in with others. Most importantly, stop acting out. Do whatever it takes to stop. 

Then I remember the first part of my journey. Attending meetings, lying to the facilitator that I didn’t belong here, that I had only had one affair, I didn’t struggle with pornography, I wasn’t like everyone in this meeting. Lying to my wife, my counselor, my kids. Lying to my accountability guys. Lying to myself. Lying to God.

So what do you do when you have someone like I was in your life? What do you do when that guy you are talking to, investing time in, supporting, encouraging…what do you do when they tell you one thing and do another? What do you do when they lie to you over and over? When they don’t follow through? When they don’t commit to meetings, check ins, accountability, truthfulness.

This past week, my pastor preached a message from 1 Corinthians 5. Paul wrote both 1 and 2nd Corinthians as letters to the church at Corinth. The church he planted and watered. The two letters are a treasure trove of Christ like living, instruction from Christ through Paul. Chapter 5 is important to me. It speaks to my top character defect: pride. Like the Corinthians, I knew best. Only, Paul wasn’t about to let that go.

It seems the church had allowed sexual immorality to exist in its midst in the form of one of its members. He was a Christ follower who refused to repent and turn from his sin. He was living in a sexual relationship with his stepmother. The church didn’t discipline him or challenge him. They celebrated themselves and how “tolerant” and loving they were by accepting his behavior. When I heard this from my pastor, I had one immediate thought…insanity. How could someone do something so stupid and insane as a Christian and as a church? Oh, and then I remembered my own life. Oops.

I am a Christ follower. I have been since the age of 9. My insanity reached astounding depths. My own behavior caused me to jeopardize my marriage, my relationship with my kids and my extended family, and to lose my job and much of our savings. After admitting to an affair, I sought to keep my marriage together after my wife allowed me to come home. Except…I wasn’t done in my insanity yet. I decided to only confess a little, hide everything else, and lie. Then hang on for dear life that I wouldn’t be found out and that I could fix it on my own. That should work. It didn’t. Surprise surprise!

Paul called out the sin of the individual and of the church at Corinth. He demanded that he be turned over to Satan so that his sinful nature might be destroyed. Not him…his sinful nature. Paul was talking about a Christian. Someone who had accepted Christ, who was saved by grace through faith. And who was still living in lies and sin. Someone like me. Paul’s instruction wasn’t done.  He continued with the best part. Turn him over to Satan so his sin might be destroyed and he will be saved.

What do we do when someone we know and care about is in rebellion from Christ? Is deep in their own sin and can’t see the way out? Who knows Christ but can’t let go of their addiction? We follow Paul’s guidance…we turn them over to their own sin. In our circles, we say they haven’t hit their rock bottom yet. We have to leave them to it. And yet be there when they are able to reach out. 

Our pastor closed his message with a series of quotes. He has a friend who is writing a book and reached out to people in his circles with the following question: “I stopped running from God when…” Here are some of the answers he got:

  • I lost my job.
  • My wife filed for divorce.
  • I almost ran over someone.
  • My kids no longer spoke to me.
  • I couldn’t remember what I did the night before.
  • I hit rock bottom.

The ultimate goal for lives after running from God is simple. Restoration. Recovery has meant a path to restoration for me. Restoration with God, my wife, my kids, my friends, my church. That is exactly what God intends. After our rebellion, after repentance…comes restoration.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, christian, rebellion, recovery, restoration, sex addiction

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This site is intended for individuals who struggle with maintaining sexual purity. This information is posted for individuals at various stages in their recovery, year 1 to year 30+; what applies to some, may not apply others. Spouses are encouraged to read this blog with the caveat that they may not agree with, understand, or know the reason for some items posted. As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

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