I am guy, someone soon to be 27, and I don’t have any close friends (or even proper friends I can rely on ..in my mind) or even made a intimate relationship possible.
I needed a change. I wasn’t able to feel loved or be close to people. Even though I have discovered porn at a very very young age, I have a massive my collection carried on and developed for the past 10 or plus years (stored in a encrypted container about 1TB) but I made my decision to delete the entire stash.
I had wanted to give up porn for about a year or so, but I have relapsed so many times. I used to depend on this stash (accessing it with a complicated password made it very tedious) and I just kept it there and use it for collecting when I acquire new videos (rarely touched these days). I thought I was living okay. Until I made big decisions to move away from my stable job and even getting terminated from that new job. I felt that my behaviors have not improved, I still lack so much social skills, my confidence is broken and has always been and I feel like I don’t know how to properly reach out or make proper friends or become fully successful in my career and I need to release those inhibitors. Porn was one of it. It really does feel weird deleting it all, like releasing a devil baby I have developed for a long time. I need to change. I need to develop and to be better personally and professionally.
I think one of my strategies was to read and study again (even if my brain is mentally slow at understanding and picking up things). In the end I hope to eventually have the drive to want to learn again.
