Posted: 24 Jan 2014 03:00 AM PST
Masturbation is one of those hushed words in many church and family circles. We don’t talk about it, we struggle with it, we are confused by it, yet we have important questions about it.
THE BIGGEST QUESTION: Is it OK to masturbate?
I found an interesting article on www.restoringsexualpurity.org about masturbation. Dr. Harry W. Schaumburg shares some things to consider: CLICK HERE FOR THE FULL ARTICLE Dr. Shaumburg comes to these conclusions in his article that are worth looking at.
- Sex is a part of a personal relationship with another person; masturbation is non-relational.
- Sex is to be exclusive; masturbation typically involves sexually impure thoughts.
- Sex is to be special and intimate; masturbation is frequent and shallow.
- Sex is to be fruitful (productive) in that man is designed to enter a woman and to create, both at a relational and reproductive level; masturbation treats sex like a commodity to be consumed.
- Sex is to take place within the context of selfless love; masturbation is designed to satisfy oneself.
- Sex is multi-dimensional; masturbation separates the physical from everything else.
- Sex is to be complementary; masturbation is non-unitive.
NOW WHAT DO I DO? Many people spend a lot of energy building a case against masturbation. That’s fine and it’s important. But for those of us who want to be better and sexual pure… what do we do now? Here are some tips to begin to break away from masturbation.
1. Clean house – sometimes that stuff we have lying around the house (magazines, videos, music) encourage lustful behavior.
2. Find several healthy outlets for stress and emotions – Substitute a bad habit with a good habit. Get to the gym, work outside, get busy with a project, go hang out with some buddies. The TV and computer are probably not healthy outlets…find something else to relieve stress.
3. You gotta talk to someone – A pastor, a Christian friend, a counselor… If you really want to stop this, it needs to stop being a secret.
4. Surrender to God – You may have done this time and time again, but you gotta let go and let God help you with the struggle. Masturbation is a learned habit. We are not powerful enough to stop it. Invite God’s presence and power. There are many other things that will help like being part of a recovery group, reading recovery material, listening to recovery podcasts, but I want to give you one more big one…
5. Get a notebook and write out your feelings and needs – Masturbation is a symptom of the undercurrent of emotions and unmet needs you have. A notebook helps you talk it out, pray it out, vent it out. Give it a try. You’re not a sissy! Get a notebook and work it out!
GET HELP FOR YOUR PURITY JOURNEY
Jeff Fisher helps guys with their purity journeys through:
- Online / Phone Support Groups
- Accountability Coaching
- Personal Coaching
- Speaking at Conferences