CASTIMONIA

Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

pornography addiction

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How to Overcome Porn Addiction – Step One: The Battle of the Mind

Originally posted by: https://authorjonparker.com/2021/02/25/how-to-overcome-porn-addiction-step-one-the-battle-of-the-mind/

If you read my post on The Porn Problem: 7 Negative Effects of Porn Consumption, you will have been expecting this. This post is the first in a series of how I overcame porn addiction. I’m going to take it one step at a time to give you enough time to implement each step as I write them. This isn’t a race. It is a process which I hope you take seriously. And it won’t work if you just read the posts then go on about life without ever applying the information. If you’re serious, read on.

I’ll be honest with you, it didn’t happen without God. It doesn’t happen without God. At least not for me. My record of overcoming this addiction in my own willpower is somewhere between one and two months. I have not overcome this on my own, but only by the grace of God.

I put that up front because I know some of you don’t believe in God. My hope is that you’ll see the power of relying on an eternal, unchanging, perfect God to hold you steady, and the truth that this is far more powerful than trying to keep yourself from falling off the tightrope without God. I know it’s not a snap of the fingers and suddenly you go from atheist to theist, but I hope this seed sprouts in you nonetheless.

Now that I’ve said that, there are some practical things you can do, which I did and continue to do, that will help tremendously in overcoming porn addiction. I want to first talk about mindset.

If you’ve got the mindset of an addict, you won’t overcome porn addiction, or any other addiction for that matter. A porn free future starts with you deciding to change your mind and to hold captive every thought that enters your mind. Sound difficult? It is. It absolutely takes practice and you will probably not always succeed, especially not at first, but it is worth it.

I think the best thing I ever learned was that I could control what I thought about. You see, most people are like I used to be, just living in a constant stream of unregulated stimulus from the outside world. Most people do not know that you don’t have to ponder every single thing that pops into your mind. A really good book on the subject is Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer.

Years ago I heard a preacher, Andrew Wommack, say something that has stuck with me ever since. He said, “You can’t stop a bird from flying over your head, but you can stop it from making a nest in your hair.”

Those words struck me powerfully because I had simply never thought of it like that before. You can’t stop thoughts from popping into your head, but you can control whether or not you dwell on them. Learning this has helped me to overcome not only porn addiction, but also intrusive thoughts. Those little blighters caused by things like anxiety, OCD, and depression.

It is a simple yet powerful shift in mindset that has proven to me to be something which has made my life immensely more enjoyable. It’s not perfect, and sometimes I fail. Often, actually. But the power is in the continued practice of it. Of being mindful of where your mind is wandering and taking back control of the reins.

So start working on that now. You may not overcome porn addiction this very instant, or you might, but either way, start putting effort into controlling where your mind goes. Do not dwell on the thoughts which make you want to go watch porn. You know what they are. If you don’t know what those trigger thoughts are, start paying attention to that. What were you thinking about just before the last time you watched porn? Like I said, if you aren’t sure then you need to spend some serious time working on knowing what thoughts are in your mind, where they’re coming from, and which of those thoughts are triggers for you.

This is not a quick fix.

It is not a bandaid.

It will take time.

If you want to overcome porn addiction, set yourself up for success and work on gaining control over your own thoughts. Read the above listed book. Look for more resources and books that will teach you how to control your mind. It will likely be the best thing you can ever do for yourself.

I can’t stress enough how important this step is. Take it seriously because without gaining control over your thoughts you will not overcome porn addiction.

I will post Step 2 in the near future. See you then. If you have any questions at all, drop them in the comment section below and I’ll respond as soon as I can.

Until next time,
JP

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The Race

attributed to Dr. D.H. “Dee” Groberg

Whenever I start to hang my head in front of failure’s face,
my downward fall is broken by the memory of a race.
A children’s race, young boys, young men; how I remember well,
excitement sure, but also fear, it wasn’t hard to tell.
They all lined up so full of hope, each thought to win that race
or tie for first, or if not that, at least take second place.
Their parents watched from off the side, each cheering for their son,
and each boy hoped to show his folks that he would be the one.

The whistle blew and off they flew, like chariots of fire,
to win, to be the hero there, was each young boy’s desire.
One boy in particular, whose dad was in the crowd,
was running in the lead and thought “My dad will be so proud.”
But as he speeded down the field and crossed a shallow dip,
the little boy who thought he’d win, lost his step and slipped.
Trying hard to catch himself, his arms flew everyplace,
and midst the laughter of the crowd he fell flat on his face.
As he fell, his hope fell too; he couldn’t win it now.
Humiliated, he just wished to disappear somehow.

But as he fell his dad stood up and showed his anxious face,
which to the boy so clearly said, “Get up and win that race!”
He quickly rose, no damage done, behind a bit that’s all,
and ran with all his mind and might to make up for his fall.
So anxious to restore himself, to catch up and to win,
his mind went faster than his legs. He slipped and fell again.
He wished that he had quit before with only one disgrace.
“I’m hopeless as a runner now, I shouldn’t try to race.”

But through the laughing crowd he searched and found his father’s face
with a steady look that said again, “Get up and win that race!”
So he jumped up to try again, ten yards behind the last.
“If I’m to gain those yards,” he thought, “I’ve got to run real fast!”
Exceeding everything he had, he regained eight, then ten…
but trying hard to catch the lead, he slipped and fell again.
Defeat! He lay there silently. A tear dropped from his eye.
“There’s no sense running anymore! Three strikes I’m out! Why try?
I’ve lost, so what’s the use?” he thought. “I’ll live with my disgrace.”
But then he thought about his dad, who soon he’d have to face.

“Get up,” an echo sounded low, “you haven’t lost at all,
for all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.
Get up!” the echo urged him on, “Get up and take your place!
You were not meant for failure here! Get up and win that race!”
So, up he rose to run once more, refusing to forfeit,
and he resolved that win or lose, at least he wouldn’t quit.
So far behind the others now, the most he’d ever been,
still he gave it all he had and ran like he could win.
Three times he’d fallen stumbling, three times he rose again.
Too far behind to hope to win, he still ran to the end.

They cheered another boy who crossed the line and won first place,
head high and proud and happy — no falling, no disgrace.
But, when the fallen youngster crossed the line, in last place,
the crowd gave him a greater cheer for finishing the race.
And even though he came in last with head bowed low, unproud,
you would have thought he’d won the race, to listen to the crowd.
And to his dad he sadly said, “I didn’t do so well.”
“To me, you won,” his father said. “You rose each time you fell.”

And now when things seem dark and bleak and difficult to face,
the memory of that little boy helps me in my own race.
For all of life is like that race, with ups and downs and all.
And all you have to do to win is rise each time you fall.
And when depression and despair shout loudly in my face,
another voice within me says, “Get up and win that race!”

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New Castimonia Meeting in Batesville, Arkansas Starting June 7th!

I am humbled to announce that the Arkansas team based out of Searcy, AR will be starting a new Castimonia meeting in Batesville, AR on Monday, June 7th! Meeting info is listed below:

Monday Nights
7:00PM – 8:30PM
St. Paul’s Episcopal Church
424 E. Main St.
Batesville, AR 72501
Contact: Doug at 281.665.0280

Thank you to all these men in Arkansas doing the Lord’s work to help individuals fight for their sexual purity!

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My Value Doesn’t Equal What I Do

SOURCE:  Brad Rymer/Living Free

“For my part, I am going to boast about nothing but the Cross of our Master, Jesus Christ. Because of that Cross, I have been crucified in relation to the world, set free from the stifling atmosphere of pleasing others and fitting into the little patterns that they dictate. Can’t you see the central issue in all this? It is not what you and I do—submit to circumcision, reject circumcision. It is what God is doing, and he is creating something totally new, a free life! All who walk by this standard are the true Israel of God—his chosen people. Peace and mercy on them!  Galatians 6:14-16 MSG

Wanting to perform at a level of excellence is admirable. The problem is we are not created to be excellent at everything. The world seems to expect us to be, however, and we sometimes take on unrealistic views of what to expect from ourselves.

Our human tendency is to base our value on how well we perform. We strive to accomplish many things to feel a sense of value and worth. When we do well, we feel good about ourselves. When we don’t meet expectations we or others have placed on us, we see ourselves as failures.

The possibility of trying to earn God’s and others’ love through how we perform and what we accomplish can overshadow the truth that God loves us for who we are. You may have heard it said that we are human beings, not human “doings.”

God loves you for who you are–his creation. He loves you unconditionally. He won’t love you any more–or any less–because of your performance. Take comfort and rest in knowing that who you are is more important than what you can do. In God’s eyes, you are valuable because he created you and loves you. You belong to him not because of what you have done but because of what Jesus did for you. When you accepted Christ as Lord and Savior, you became a new creation.

It is not what you do. “It is what God is doing, and he is creating something totally new, a free life!”

Father, help me remember that my performance, my ability to succeed according to the world’s standards, does not determine my value. But I am valuable because you love me unconditionally, because Jesus died on the cross for me, and because of the person you are molding me to be. In Jesus’ name . . .

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When You Are Waiting For God To Show Up

SOURCE:  relevantmagazine.com/Jade Mazarin

A few things to remember when it feels like your prayers aren’t being answered.

Have you been praying for years for certain people or situations?

I have.

I know that God has called these people, and I know who they can be and the healing God has in store. I also pray for situations I yearn to improve, even after years of stagnant. But so far, those miraculous changes I’ve longed for remain seemingly at bay.

It’s easy to wonder if anything will change, when nothing seems to be happening. It’s easy to become discouraged when the physical reality looks nothing like what I think it should.

However, I continue to ask for the healing, the restoring and the saving, that I (and I know He) wants.

The other night while praying, that phrase at the end of TV shows popped in my head: “To be continued.”

“To be continued” arrives at a pivotal point in a show. We’ve gotten invested in the characters; we’ve followed them through a series of events and emotional drama. We may glance at the clock a few minutes prior and wonder how the nicely tied-up conclusion will arrive in time. It’s not looking good at this point.  How is this going to get fixed? we wonder.

Then suddenly, the screen fades to black, with the message “To be continued.”

Typically, when this happens, my reaction is, “No! I want to know the rest of the story, now!” Then again, another part of me is relieved. The story won’t end badly. This mess will somehow be fixed. Of course, now I have to wait.

The Middle of the Story

What if that same “to be continued” is showing up around your prayers or the situations you’ve stopped praying for, because nothing seemed to change?

You might be upset because someone you love is in trouble. You might ache with sorrow for the distance between you and a family member. Or, you could be dragging around discouragement because of a problem you can’t shake. And with all this, you might wonder where God is or if He really cares. But, maybe the reason things seem so dreary is because you’re only in the middle of the story, and God isn’t just going to show up and make things right in the end—instead, you’ll realize He’s been there through it all.

This idea makes me think of Mary and Lazarus. Many of us are familiar with the story—Mary and her sister Martha have a brother named Lazarus whom Jesus raises from the dead. But have you thought about what Mary and her sister go through from the time Lazarus gets sick to the time Jesus resurrects him?

Mary and Martha know Jesus loves them and their brother Lazarus. They know He’d be there in time of need. So when Lazarus gets deathly ill, Mary tells one of His disciples to relay the message. She and her family then wait in expectancy for his arrival.

They wait. And they wait. Three long, drawn out, painfully quiet days, as Lazarus just gets sicker.

And then, no longer able to hold on, Lazarus breathes his last breath.

What were Mary and Martha thinking at this time?

If they were like most of us, I would imagine it was something like, “I thought Jesus loved us. I thought we were special to Him. Why didn’t He come?” Perhaps they felt angry, and a sense of abandonment or betrayal.

When Jesus does show up, Mary tells him, “If you had been here earlier, Lazarus would have lived.” Everyone is grieving what they see to be a tragic end to the story. Even Jesus weeps when He sees their pain and loss.

But what if Mary, Martha and their friends knew that this was not the end of the story? What if they knew there was good to still come?

Out of seemingly nowhere, in a sudden turn of events, Jesus acts. He stands up, walks over to Lazarus and calls him back from the dead.

We’re only in the middle of the story—and God isn’t just going to show up and make things right in the end, we’ll realize He’s been there through it all.

Yes, Jesus loved this family dearly all along—just as they believed He did. In fact, it was His love for them that caused Him to wait to show up. He could have arrived and healed Lazarus when they expected, but instead, He waited for a special moment; for a tremendous finale kind of moment. He chose a way that would display the greatness of His love and the magnitude of His power. He took the opportunity to say to them, “Yes, I love you. And I will show you how much.”

The Real Ending

But what about the times when things don’t turn out beautifully? Maybe you’ve prayed for a loved one to be healed, and they weren’t. We all know there are tragic endings to countless stories—ones that can’t be made better by belief in a changed situation.

Yet, there is still more to the story—at least, to the whole story. In the grand scheme of things, we are still in the middle of God’s ultimate story of redemption. We won’t always get happy endings now, but God has a greater intention for the earth—one to instill perfection into every facet of it. He’s at work in us, through us and with us, even when it doesn’t feel like He’s there.

When I pray for the same things I’ve poured my heart into for years, I remind myself that God is at work, even though I can’t yet see it. When I wrestle with doubting it, I actually say to Him: “Don’t be done with this yet. Make things right.” I ask Him to reveal His glory.

God has a special investment in the end of the story. He will often provide glimpses of His final redemption in our daily lives, that we can look for and hope in. It may not be how we expected, but it will display His creativity. God’s plan does not always match up with our expectations, but it leaves us with more. And He will always reassure of the incomparable finale, when everything is set straight.