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Castimonia

October 28, 2023 By Castimonia

Video – Interview with Serial Killer Ted Bundy by James Dobson

Originally posted January 16, 2013

February 15, 1978 – serial killer Ted Bundy was arrested in Florida
While in prison, he admitted to raping & killing more than 30 women and girls.
He was suspected of committing over 50 murders.
July 31, 1979 – he was convicted and sentenced to death.
After 10 years in prison, Ted Bundy chose to share one message with Dr. James Dobson.
This is the entire interview of Ted Bundy with Dr. James Dobson, sharing about how it all began with his discovery of pornography!
January 24, 1989 – at 7:15am, the morning after this interview, Ted Bundy was executed.

Attached via the link below is chapter 8 from a booklet titled Porn-Again Christian by Mark Driscol that has an edited transcript of the interview in the video above.

Ted Bundy Edited Interview Transcript

Ted Bundy COMPLETE Interview Transcript

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: porn, pornography, Sex, sex addiction, sexual

October 24, 2023 By Castimonia

Is Pornography Destructive to a Marriage?

Originally posted December 16, 2012

by Samantha Baker

This has come up a lot in my world in the past year.  I used to be some what on the fence about it.  I kind of felt, what other people do in their marriage is fine…I kind of don’t appreciate it in mine…but…if I don’t really think about it, it’s not there.

But my thinking has changed a lot.  And now I’m off the fence and my feet are planted firmly on the ground.  My stance, is yes.  I believe that pornography can absolutely be destructive to a marriage/relationship.

Now, I know most men feel differently.  They don’t see much harm in it, if any at all.  Men are more visual.  Men need an outlet. Men sometimes, just need it to relieve stress.  What’s the harm????

But, there can be just so much harm.  Now I get that some women are absolutely fine with it, and some even choose to participate.  And kudos to you.  But that isn’t a majority of women.  I think some women go along with it to please their spouse/SO.  I think some feel they need to agree to it, in effort to keep their spouse/SO from cheating (HA!), and some aren’t given a choice.  Plainly put, I don’t think many women really are “ok” with porn.  Not even the ones performing in it.

For my marriage, it absolutely has been destructive.  To the point, that it’s now become a deal breaker.  Yes, I know, that’s pretty bold.  But, I had to draw my line in the sand, and I have.  Because you see, it became an addiction for my husband.  One that he still won’t even admit.  It came between us.  It made it so that there was less closeness and intimacy.  It became more about a sexual act than making love.  And it has had lasting effects on us.  Things that can’t be fixed over night.

When one starts hiding the fact that they are looking at porn on a daily basis, or lying, or covering it up in effort to hide it, it’s gone too far.  When they start treating you like an object instead of a whole person that is to be treated with love and respect, it’s gone too far. When one starts to prefer porn to their partner, it’s gone too far.  It should have never gotten to those places to begin with.

In my perfectly not so humble opinion, the way to avoid the above?  Is to not have it in your life at all.  And this is something I have required of my husband now.  Because I’ve realized, that for our marriage, there is no middle ground.  There is no, well you can look once in awhile.  It has to be none at all.  Otherwise, it will end my marriage.  Because the damage it has already caused is too deep.  I can not let it cause any more.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, porn, pornography, recovery, Sex, sex addiction, sexual, sexual purity

October 20, 2023 By Castimonia

Happily Remaried

originally posted December 1, 2012

They mocked me on tv. For weeks, I couldn’t escape the news. One man made all of us look ridiculous. Every single one of us in this unfortunate group. One golfer made his sex life news and suddenly every talk-show host, every radio personality, even newspaper columnists became “experts” on what it meant to be married to a sex addict. Questions like, “How did she NOT know?” and accusations like, “She knew the whole time.” were common. And then, even worse, were the jokes that being married to a sex addict should be fun. Well, it’s not fun. And no, we don’t always know. There is a factor of manipulation that is involved with sex addicts. They control. They limit contact. I should know. I was married to one for 6 years.

I thought I was marrying a future pastor, but I couldn’t have been farther from the truth. Within a few months, my first clues about his behavior surfaced. He assured me it was only on the internet and they’d never met in person. I was still bothered greatly, but he promised he’d cut off communication with her. And there’s more. This was the first time he condemned me… attacked me for looking at his things. He made me feel so terrible that *I* apologized to *him*. That’s when the cycle started. Every few months, I’d find more women he was contacting on Craigslist or dating sites. Every time I’d find something, he’d get angry with me until I apologized. You’d think my friends would clue me in to the irrationality of this cycle, but that’s just it. Whenever I’d start getting close to a new friend, he’d come up with a reason why I shouldn’t be friends with them and he’d end the friendship. By this point in our relationship, I was completely manipulated. I believed what he told me because I needed to believe what he told me.

Eventually, I started realizing that I wasn’t doing anything wrong. I’d stumble across women he was contacting while he was asking me to fix his computer. He’d get angry at me for stumbling across things, but I wouldn’t apologize. So, he wouldn’t talk to me until I pretended that nothing had happened. This went on for a few more years until I couldn’t pretend and kept insisting that he change. I couldn’t continue to share him with his internet temptations. That’s when he’d threaten to kill himself if I didn’t drop it. So, that worked for him for a bit longer. About five and a half years into our marriage, I discovered that it wasn’t just internet behavior. It had never “just” been internet behavior. My husband had been cheating on me the whole time we’d been together… even before we got married. What followed this discovery was about a month of him admitting to what I found, denying that there was more, me finding more, him admitting to what I found and denying there was more. It was a long cycle and it finally ended when I accepted the fact that I’d never know his “number” because HE couldn’t even keep track of all the women he’d been with while we were married.

So, we moved into the next phase… where to go from there. I found an online recovery program for sex addicts. It had a sister program for spouses/partners of sex addicts. It became my saving grace. God used that program to make me stronger and allow me to rebuild myself. I dropped from 130 to 98 pounds during this time. I didn’t feel a freedom to leave him, but he disgusted me. I wanted out, but I knew that if God could change him, it would be better for my kids, so I told him that I’d stay for now as long as he got help. I couldn’t guarantee that I’d stay forever, but I wanted him to get help. This is the point where people called me weak. They said I was just scared to leave. They said I had no self-respect. But they were wrong. I wasn’t weak. I was strong. If I hadn’t been strong, I’d have run away from him long before. About three months into this new discovery, things became very clear. I was on the phone with him, when he made this statement: “Okay, here’s the deal. I’ll stay with you IF you stop checking behind me to see if I’m cheating.”

And that’s when I knew. He WASN’T going to change. He had no desire to change. And I laughed. I actually laughed. On the phone. With my sex addict husband. I was finally free to leave. There were no regrets. I walked away free and clear with no doubts and no self-blame. And I walked away knowing I did everything I could. So the next time you hear about one of us… the wife of a sex addict, think twice before you joke, belittle and ridicule. Before you call us ignorant or stupid or weak. Think about the strength we have to find just to survive. Think about how hard it must have been for that wife to put on a happy face every day. And give her the respect she deserves.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, castimonia, pornography, recovery, sex addiction, sexual

October 16, 2023 By Castimonia

Castimonia Retreat Registration ONLY 2 SPOTS LEFT!!!

We have extended capacity twice and unfortunately cannot add more space due to the retreat center capacity. Therefore, the retreat is almost full and only 2 spots are remaining! Please register ASAP to guarantee your spot in the retreat.

This year’s retreat features guest speakers Thomas Berry from Jason Martinkus’ (Worthy of Her Trust) ministry Redemptive Living and Dr. Mark Denison, CSAT from There’s Still Hope.

I pray that the Lord uses this retreat to help men in their sexual purity journey.  The link to register for the retreat is written below.

Friday, November 10th – Sunday, November 12th

The Castimonia Retreat is a retreat for any man who struggles with any type of sexual purity. 

If you are wondering about whether to attend this retreat, ask yourself these questions:

  • Are you fully equipped for the spiritual battle that is raging around us right now?
  • Are you a man who strives for biblical sexual purity?
  • Are you a man who struggles with maintaining that sexual purity?
  • Do you want a circle of brothers helping you in your sexual purity journey?

Join us for a weekend dedicated to equipping adult men of all ages, all walks of life, and various levels of struggle with the tools necessary to wage this spiritual battle and emerge on the other side as the sexually pure men that God intended us to be.

At the retreat, we will discuss strategies for equipping ourselves with tactics necessary for battling the enemy. We will discover the true meaning of brotherhood and fellowship. The leaders of the retreat will set the example of vulnerability and accountability. We hope to pave the way for all men to be fully equipped to wage war against Satan’s tempting assaults and emerge VICTORIOUS.

The ultimate affirmation for all men is to hear at the end of days, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

A wise man is strong, And a man of knowledge increases power. For by wise guidance you will wage war, And in abundance of counselors there is victory. Proverbs 24:5-6

Start: November 10 – 06:00 pm (check in begins at 4pm)
End: November 12 – 1:00 pm
Organizer: Castimonia Restoration Ministry, Inc.
Email: Info@Castimonia.org
Website: http://castimonia.org/retreat 

Location:
Cat Spring Retreat Center
14852 Hall Road
Cat Spring, TX, US, 78933

http://thecatspringretreat.com/index.html

Early Registration up until September 30th – $175

Regular Registration after October 1st – November 7th  – $195

*SCHOLARSHIPS ARE AVAILABLE, PLEASE CONTACT US FOR MORE INFO

Out of state guests receive free registration upon request!!!

Full refund minus fees up to September 15th.
50% refund minus fees after September 15th and up to November 1st.
No refunds after November 1st (retreat credit)

Filed Under: General Meeting Information, Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, castimonia, christian, recovery, sexual purity

October 15, 2023 By Castimonia

The Repentant Prayer of a Sinner

Originally posted November 15, 2012

I read the prayer below on another website and thought I’d share it with y’all.  I’ve used it many times since I first read it!  I hope it helps you as much as it has helped (and is helping) me.

The repentant prayer of a sinner.

Hi Good people, I have been thinking and there are sometimes during the journey to recovery, our sinful nature leads us into temptation. I would like to share a prayer from the deepest part of my heart.

Redemption prayer:
Oh God, why?
Why do I have to go through this again?
How many times will my eyes lead me to fall?
How come my eyes crave for a peep?
Why do I long to get one more touch?
She is someone else’s daughter, sister, mother.
Why do I objectify women, through a weird fetish?
Why am I overcome by evil?
Why Oh God, do I defile my body through my eyes?
Why is sin so sweet, but only for a moment?
I do not want to do this any more,
I surrender the struggle to you,
I repent of lust of the eyes,
I repent of lust of this damned flesh,
I repent of every hint of sexual immorality I have fallen to.
Wash me with the blood of Jesus.
Purify my heart, mind and body.
You are all I need Jesus,
You are my only true satisfaction,
My saviour, my deliver, my Lord.
Oh God, I pray that you teach me,
Teach me your ways,
Teach how to love you more,
Teach me how to hate sin,
Teach me how to hide the word in my heart,
I desire to give you my all,
I make a covenant with my eyes,
Not to look at any woman lustfully,
So please help me God.
The devil and all his ways were defeated on the cross,
Equip me to battle,
Equip me with God’s full armor (Eph 6)
In Jesus name I pray.

Please see this link on real repentance http://www.joncourson.com/teaching/teachingsplay.asp?teaching=S609

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, christian, porn, pornography, recovery, Sex, sex addiction, sexual

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This site is intended for individuals who struggle with maintaining sexual purity. This information is posted for individuals at various stages in their recovery, year 1 to year 30+; what applies to some, may not apply others. Spouses are encouraged to read this blog with the caveat that they may not agree with, understand, or know the reason for some items posted. As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

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