CASTIMONIA

Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

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Core Beliefs

Originally posted at: theresstillhope.org

Patrick Carnes has identified four basic core beliefs of every sex addict:

  1. Something is wrong with me.
  2. If you knew me, you wouldn’t love me.
  3. I can’t depend on anyone but myself.
  4. My greatest need is sex.

At the root of every addiction is an intimacy disorder. Usually, this manifests itself with insecurity and low self-esteem. Perhaps now is a good time to remind you of your identity in Christ. Celebrate the following.

You are accepted (Romans 15:7), chosen (John 15:16), and free (Galatians 4:7). You are forgiven (1 John 1:9), a new person (2 Corinthians 5:17), and a child of God (John 1:12). Further, you are made in God’s image (Genesis 1:27) and you belong to Jesus (1 Corinthians 3:23).

Your “addict” is sending you one message. Your Savior is sending you a different message. Which one are you going to believe?

Recovery Step: Claim your identity in Christ.

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Digital Depression and Lonely Masses

Originally posted at: https://words.mattiasdesmet.org/p/digital-depression-and-lonely-masses

Our society is evolving at a record pace towards a digital cosmos – a society in which life is largely digital. In the digital society of the future – in some respects, the near future – people work, party, play and make love online, and even eat digitally printed food.

The latest developments in the field of Artificial Intelligence (AI) are slowly preparing us to go even further. Not only are we replacing human interactions with digital ones; we are replacing humanity itself. The doctor, the teacher, the coach, the psychologist, and so on – they can all be replaced by a computer.

Is there a difference between a real and a digital conversation? Is there a difference between a conversation with a human being and a conversation with a sophisticated computer? I have spent fifteen years conducting research into (real) conversations between therapists and patients. It has shown me how subtle and sublime real conversations are. To give just one example: if one person stops talking, the other will typically take over in fewer than 0.2 seconds – even if the first person stops speaking in the middle of a sentence. By way of comparison: in traffic, the reaction time is approximately one second (so five times longer).

In real conversations, people’s bodies constantly resonate with each other. The facial and body muscles of the listener contract in the same way as those of the speaker, and the same areas of the brain are activated. When people speak with each other, they form a supra-organism on a psychic and subtle-physical level. They are connected by a psychic membrane that imperceptibly transmits the most subtle emotions from one person to another. In this way a kind of spontaneous empathy occurs in the interlocutor (unless the ego structure is extremely developed, as in psychopathy).

Every (real) conversation thus satisfies the first and foremost primal need of man – resonance with the Other. In a digital conversation, this resonance is compromised, due to the limitations of technology: small delays in the signal transmission, restrictions on the freedom of perspective, seeing the other person only partially, and so on. Precisely because of this, long-term digital communication often leaves us with a dull and exhausted feeling. Our bodies exhaust themselves in fruitless and constant attempts to connect with the body of the other person – a phenomenon that some refer to digital depression. It remains to be seen whether replacing a real psychologist with an AI version will provide an effective therapy for that kind of digital depression.

The gradual replacement of real social situations by artificial ones in recent centuries and decades – through the industrialization and mechanization of labor, through the introduction of radio, television, telephone and internet – has taken an insidious toll. It is responsible for the most destructive psychosocial phenomenon of the Enlightenment: it “atomizes” the human being, disconnecting us from our social and natural environment and plunging us into solitude.

Loneliness reached a peak in the early 21st century. Studies from immediately prior to the corona crisis report as much as 40% of the world’s population feeling lonely. The situation has become so dire that in 2018, former British Prime Minister Theresa May appointed a Minister of Loneliness. Much more recently, in the United States, Surgeon General Vivek Murthy issued an advisory on the dangers of loneliness combined with a new “National Strategy to Advance Social Connection.” But we don’t need to resort to statistics to feel the seriousness of the problem. Get on the train – hardly any words are exchanged between people anymore. Our minds are tethered to a tiny screen – digital connection has replaced the human bond. If you casually greet a passer-by – a once-obvious way of affirming the human bond with no other intention – you will immediately sense the problem and, possibly, an unpleasant reaction in return (an unspoken question of: “What does this idiot want of me?”).

Loneliness and atomization is not just a problem, it is a problem with enormous social consequence. Isolated, atomized subjects tend, especially under the influence of media and social media narratives, to suddenly coalesce into a new kind of group: a mass. This kind of group formation makes people radically incapable of thinking critically about the stories presented to them, willing to radically sacrifice everything they hold dear, and deeply intolerant of any voice that deviates of what the masses believe in.

The masses of yesteryear (i.e. the crusades, the witch hunts, etc.) were physical masses – the masses consisted of a group of people physically coming together. The current masses, on the other hand, consist of individuals who, each in digital solitude, are infused by the mass media with similar representations and stories. It is this lonely mass that, together with its leaders, forms the backbone of the ultimate symptom of our rationalistic society: the totalitarian state. The big question we have to answer as a culture is therefore this: what can transform the lonely masses into a society in the true sense of the word – a group of people connected from person to person; where the collective does not destroy the individual, but guarantees a space in which it can flourish as a singular being.

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Castimonia Founder Testimony in Pearland – April 25th

Please join us this Thursday, April 25th at our Thursday night Pearland, TX meeting to hear our Founder, Jorge, give his testimony to the group.

Thursday Night
Time: 7:00PM – 8:30PM
Location: St. Andrews Episcopal Church
Room 106
2535 E. Broadway St.
Pearland, TX 77581
Contact: Nathan C 806.440.6821

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How Porn Can Fuel and Normalize Teen Dating Violence

Originally posted at: https://fightthenewdrug.org/how-porn-can-normalize-violence-in-teen-dating-relationships

Porn teaches toxic lessons to teens. In discussions about teen dating violence, we can’t forget how porn both fuels and normalizes sexual violence.

Although it’s not often discussed, nearly 1 in 12 teens reports experiencing physical dating violence, according to a 2019 survey.1

Even less talked about is the fact that pornography plays a role in informing teens’ understanding of sex and relationships in unhealthy ways.2 In fact, even though many teens report learning about sex from porn, research suggests that porn may be making teens more sexually illiterate.3

Research also suggests that as little as 35.0% and as much as 88.2% of popular porn scenes contain physical violence or aggression, and that women are the targets of violence approximately 97% of the time.45

What is this teaching young people about sex?

Porn’s role in abuse

Reviews of the research on this topic reveal that porn can influence adolescents’ sexual attitudes and behavior, and can even play a role in increased sexual aggression.67

In fact, dozens and dozens of studies show a direct link between porn and increased sexual aggression, showing that porn consumption is a significant predictor of committing acts of sexual violence.8910

Additionally, research suggests that increased porn consumption is associated with men’s enjoyment of degrading and/or sexually aggressive behaviors.11

As one young person said in a recent study about porn’s influence on adolescents:

“My friend tried to choke his girlfriend once when they were having sex because he had seen it in a porno… it ended with the girlfriend slapping him and when he asked why she slapped him she said, ‘Because you were choking me.’” -Nicholas, 16, Glasgow12

Another increasingly common form of dating violence is image-based abuse, sometimes called “revenge porn.”

With this in mind, it’s important to remember that:

  • Any explicit content of a minor is legally considered “child pornography.”
  • According to the Internet Watch Foundation, approximately 1/3 of child sexual abuse images are originally shared by the depicted minors themselves.13
  • According to a longitudinal study on the topic, porn use significantly predicted more willingness to forward sexts nonconsensually.14
  • 1 in 3 underage teens say they have seen nonconsensually shared nudes of other minors.15
  • 1 in 12 U.S. adults report being victims of nonconsensual porn and 1 in 20 have been perpetrators of spreading it.16
You deserve to feel safe

Teens learn about sex from porn, but porn teaches toxic lessons. In discussions about teen dating violence, we can’t forget how porn both fuels and normalizes sexual violence.

Sexual violence is never a requirement to be a fulfilling, exciting partner. Everyone deserves to make their own decisions about sex, free from what porn dictates as being normal or required.

Everyone deserves to be in intimate dating relationships where they feel respected, valued, and safe. 

Citations

1Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: Division of Adolescent and School Health. (2021). Youth risk behavior survey: Data summary & trends report 2009-2019. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/data/yrbs/pdf/YRBSDataSummaryTrendsReport2019-508.pdf

2British Board of Film Classification. (2020). Young people, pornography & age-verification. BBFC. Retrieved from https://www.bbfc.co.uk/about-classification/research

3Wright, P. J., Tokunaga, R. S., Herbenick, D., & Paul, B. (2021). Pornography vs. sexual science: The role of pornography use and dependency in U.S. teenagers’ sexual illiteracy., 1-22. doi:10.1080/03637751.2021.1987486

4Fritz, N., Malic, V., Paul, B., & Zhou, Y. (2020). A Descriptive Analysis of the Types, Targets, and Relative Frequency of Aggression in Mainstream Pornography. Archives of sexual behavior, 49(8), 3041–3053. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-020-01773-0

5Bridges, A. J., Wosnitzer, R., Scharrer, E., Sun, C., & Liberman, R. (2010). Aggression and sexual behavior in best-selling pornography videos: a content analysis update. Violence against women, 16(10), 1065–1085. https://doi.org/10.1177/1077801210382866

6Koletić G. (2017). Longitudinal associations between the use of sexually explicit material and adolescents’ attitudes and behaviors: A narrative review of studies. Journal of adolescence, 57, 119–133. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.adolescence.2017.04.006

7Peter, J., & Valkenburg, P. M. (2016). Adolescents and pornography: A review of 20 years of research. 53(4-5), 509-531. doi:10.1080/00224499.2016.1143441

8Wright, P. J., Tokunaga, R. S., & Kraus, A. (2016). A meta-analysis of pornography consumption and actual acts of sexual aggression in general population studies. Journal of Communication, 66(1), 183-205. doi:10.1111/jcom.12201

9Peter, J., & Valkenburg, P. M. (2016). Adolescents and pornography: A review of 20 years of research. 53(4-5), 509-531. doi:10.1080/00224499.2016.1143441

10Goodson, A., Franklin, C. A., & Bouffard, L. A. (2021). Male peer support and sexual assault: The relation between high-profile, high school sports participation and sexually predatory behaviour.27(1), 64-80. doi:10.1080/13552600.2020.1733111

11Ezzell, M. B., Johnson, J. A., Bridges, A. J., & Sun, C. F. (2020). I (dis)like it like that: Gender, pornography, and liking sex. J.Sex Marital Ther., 46(5), 460-473. doi:10.1080/0092623X.2020.1758860

12British Board of Film Classification. (2020). Young people, pornography & age-verification. BBFC. Retrieved from https://www.bbfc.co.uk/about-classification/research

13Internet Watch Foundation. (2021). The annual report 2020: Self-generated child sexual abuse. Retrieved from https://annualreport2020.iwf.org.uk/trends/international/selfgenerated

14van Oosten, J., & Vandenbosch, L. (2020). Predicting the Willingness to Engage in Non-Consensual Forwarding of Sexts: The Role of Pornography and Instrumental Notions of Sex. Archives of sexual behavior, 49(4), 1121–1132. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10508-019-01580-2

15Thorn. (2020). Thorn research: Understanding sexually explicit images, self-produced by children. Retrieved from https://www.thorn.org/blog/thorn-research-understanding-sexually-explicit-images-self-produced-by-children/

16Ruvalcaba, Y., & Eaton, A. A. (2020). Nonconsensual pornography among U.S. adults: A sexual scripts framework on victimization, perpetration, and health correlates for women and men. Psychology of Violence, 10(1), 68–78. https://doi.org/10.1037/vio0000233