CASTIMONIA

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Recovery Articles

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You Can’t Control The Wind But You Can Adjust Your Sail

Sailing is both peaceful and adventurous. Imagine being on a sailing boat working the sails for quiet, controlled movement or for exciting speed as you skim across the water. You can learn to work with the wind and apply it to your advantage. Anyone who tries to sail his boat willfully, contrary to the conditions of the wind gets nowhere.

A well lived life also draws on experience and we continue to learn as long as we live. Our male role models told us that masculinity meant conquering our surroundings and many of us instinctively saw competition and confrontation as a matter of personal honour. We believed that, as men, our self esteem was tied to subduing any obstacle before us. But these were a boys idea about what a man is like.

As we grow wiser and genuinely stronger we set our sails to work with the wind. We can neither stop the wind nor make it blow.

Today I will watch the winds in my life and work with them to live better.

(Reading taken from stepping stones daily meditations for men published by Hazelden meditations)

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Being a “Just” Man

The Christmas season is my favorite and most difficult time of the year. I am overwhelmed by the grace and love that God has shown me through the birth of Jesus as a human being, a “living sacrifice” to repair what my sin has broken. That he desires a relationship with me that much is humbling and life changing. I am also reminded of the damage I have done to my loved ones as I see the remembrances of seasons past where I was the cause of so many hurts and disappointments. This year has been no different. I have been fortunate to spend time with my wife and kids during this season and celebrate our family together. I have also had the opportunity to share in the pain they have expressed from the memories this time of year brings.

Most people refer to Luke’s Gospel when seeking out the true meaning of Christmas and how to celebrate Jesus’s birth. I like going to Matthew. His level of detail just speaks to me. This year, I found something else that God had for me through Matthew’s writings. Specifically, Matthew 1:18-19:
Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly.

We all know how Mary was betrothed to Joseph. Luke’s Gospel focuses on Mary and her experience of being told she was to give birth to the Messiah. Matthew reminds us of what it must have been like for Joseph. This person he was to marry, to spend his life with, suddenly seemingly had betrayed him. Before knowing what Mary had been told by the angel, Joseph was identified as a “just” man, unwilling to shame Mary. Amazing!

I didn’t used to be a “just” man. I was the opposite. I was a “judgmental” man, happy to point to and take advantage of the failings of others. I wasn’t very interested in examining my own. Joseph’s motivation, despite being wronged, was to not “shame” Mary. I experienced the same type of response from my spouse. I had admitted to an affair and told her I wanted to leave her. She didn’t seek to “shame” me. She saw that I was damaged and broken, despite her own hurt. She gave me another option: get help and come home. There will be consequences, but if I got help, we would deal with them together. My wife was a “just” wife, even when I didn’t deserve that type of consideration.

How are you dealing with the wounds you receive? That instance by my wife was transformational for me. Ok, to be fair, it was transformational for my attitude towards others. I wish I could say that I immediately became a “just” man. I didn’t. I did start to become one, though. It’s a lifelong journey for me. I noticed it recently in some resentments I have been carrying for several years. I reached out to a family member who had hurt me, one I swore I wouldn’t reach out to again. I don’t recommend you break boundaries, but for me this was a safe one as the boundary I set with him was too stringent. My attitude towards him had changed because I could start to see why he reacted the way he did when I experienced that hurt. He was broken as well.

Are you a “just” person? Do you want to be? For me, it started with someone else modeling what a “just” person looked like. Do you have someone like that in your life? If not, look to Joseph. He is a great reminder that a “just” man is a “just” man because God says so.

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Viktor Frankl

Originally posted at: http://www.theresstillhope.org

Viktor Frankl was a Jewish psychiatrist who was taken to one of the death camps in Nazi Germany. All of his family and friends were gassed and murdered. He writes in his book, Man’s Search for Meaning, about one day when he stood in front of the Gestapo, stark naked. They had taken away the prisoners’ clothes and even Frankl’s wedding ring. As he stood there with nothing at all, he suddenly realized there was one thing the Nazis could not take away from him: his choice in how he would respond. 

Life is ten percent what happens to you and 90 percent how you respond. Jesus offers this memorable promise to those who have been beaten, battered, and belittled: “Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven” (Matthew 5:10).

Recovery Step: If you are an addict, you are likely a survivor of abuse, trauma, and isolation. But you are a survivor. That means God will actually use your past if you let him.

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The Full Armor of God

Originally posted at: https://zachuramblog.com/2022/07/19/the-full-armor-of-god/

This poem is about putting on the full armor of God, as delineated in Ephesians 6:10-18.

Tis the Devil I fight today
I will battle him without delay

Not by my own might
By God’s power that serpent will seek flight

I can do nothing by my power
But all can be done as Christ’s soldier

Don the helmet of salvation to discern spiritual manipulation
You won’t be in a spiritual depression

We put on the full armor of the Lord
And wield the Word of God, the Spirit’s Sword

The breastplate of Christ’s righteousness
Preserves us from Satan’s deadliness

With the belt of truth
We resist Satanic deception forsooth

The shield of faith protects us from doubt
With it, unbelief we shall rout

Our feet will be covered by the Gospel of peace
Even in troubled times we can find solace

And so we have on the full armor of God
Our victory is assured

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Castimonia Christmas Calendar

Christmas and News Years may create changes in schedules. Use this calendar to know what meetings are meeting and to connect with meetings throughout the holidays.

Our zoom meetings will continue as scheduled, except for Thursday, Dec . 27 which is canceled. For connection information email info@castimonia.org

Our Tuesday 7am and Friday noon tele-meetings will continue as scheduled. Call In Phone Number: (346) 248-7799
Access code: 7134223411

The following meetings have schedule changes. All other meetings will meet as regularly scheduled.

Monday Oxford, Mississippi meeting are canceled to the end of the year

Tuesday Sugar Land Meeting on Dec. 27 is cancelled. January 1/3 and 1/10 meetings will be at the Houston Center for Christian Counseling

Thursday New York Meeting will be virtual. All other meetings follow the regular schedule.

Saturday Searcy Arkansas Meetings are cancelled December 24 and 31

Keep up the good work in recovery and join a meeting in-person, online or on the phone during the holidays.

A Merry Castimonia Christmas to all!