When your world falls apart and you are confronted with your sexual sin, you have to decide: “How serious am I about getting well?” This is not a one-time decision, but a series of decisions. You can decide if you want to take no action, or radical action.
Here’s a list of some recovery strategies we adopt. Where are you on the scale?
“NO CHANGE” STRATEGIES
- I don’t need to work on it. I’ll be fine.
- I got found out, but there’s no need for me to change.
- I’m a guy, and guys look at porn. Nothing wrong with this.
- It’s not my fault. I wouldn’t be like this if my wife wasn’t like she was.
- My situation is hopeless, I might as well binge and be happy.
“MY POWER”, SECULAR STRATEGIES
- I’ll just “white-knuckle” it.
- I need to punish myself when I act out. Consequences.
- I just need to stop my behavior.
- I’ll read a couple of books and blogs for help.
- I’ll sign up for an online course to help me be pure.
- I’ll deal with this privately, but not publically.
“MY POWER”, SPIRITUAL STRATEGIES
- I need to pray more and read the Bible.
- I need to memorize the works of C.S. Lewis and Jonathan Edwards.
- I need make stronger vows and commitments to God.
“I NEED OTHERS” STRATEGIES
- I’ll talk to my pastor
- I’ll go see a counselor
- I’ll visit the men’s group at my church
- I need some accountability
- I’m going to come clean with my wife, and humbly seek her help.
- I’m going to join a sexual support group
- I’m going to get some intensive counseling
- I’m going to a live-in program (or rehab)
Think about where you are on this recovery continuum. Not everyone needs to go to a live-in program, but if we are not changing anything at all we are in a bad place. We are worse off than we think. Those that are doing well in sexual addiction recovery, are turning to others for help, and taking some extreme steps to get as much help as they can.