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September 24, 2025 By Castimonia

The Apostle Paul: 5 Secrets to Fighting Sexual Sin

originally posted at: https://www.covenanteyes.com/blog/apostle-pauls-secret-fighting-sexual-sin/

Luke Gilkerson

Luke Gilkerson has a BA in Philosophy and Religious Studies and an MA in Religion. He is the author of Your Brain on Porn and The Talk: 7 Lessons to Introduce Your Child to Biblical Sexuality. Luke and his wife Trisha blog at IntoxicatedOnLife.com

Hugh Hefner didn’t invent sexual sin. It is a problem that has been around since our ancestors walked east of Eden, and it will be around until the new Jerusalem descends upon us. The good news is that the Bible promises that we can experience foretastes of that coming freedom in the here and now. But how?

The Apostle Paul commands the Christians in Colossae, “Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry” (Colossians 3:5). But how do we do this? If we rip this verse away from the letter, we’re likely to apply it the wrong way, so we need to look closely to understand what Paul is talking about.

1. Fighting Sexual Sin Is Not About “Do More, Try Harder”

A dangerous philosophy was circulating in the church at Colossae. It was championing asceticism: If you want to remain pure, then separate yourself from the pleasures of the body that are so often a source of temptation. This philosophy said if you really want the fullness of divine life within you, then insulate your life.

But Paul delivers a crushing blow to this philosophy:

“If with Christ you died to the elemental spirits of the world, why, as if you were still alive in the world, do you submit to regulations—“Do not handle, Do not taste, Do not touch” (referring to things that all perish as they are used)—according to human precepts and teachings? These have indeed an appearance of wisdom in promoting self-made religion and asceticism and severity to the body, but they are of no value in stopping the indulgence of the flesh” (Colossians 2:20-23).

No value. That is Paul’s verdict on asceticism. It simply doesn’t work. Yes, there is a grain of truth in the philosophy—all popular philosophies contain at least some wisdom in them. If you are tempted to sin sexually, then it makes sense to get away from sexual temptations. This will keep sin at bay—but ultimately the flesh remains unsatiated.

This false philosophy is still circulating in the church today. When the best advice we can give people is better filters, cold showers, more hours in prayer, and trying harder, we have given into this philosophy that Paul says is of no value.

This false philosophy either totally underestimates the power of sin or sets the benchmark of holiness too low. It either doesn’t get just how ingrained sexual sin is in us or thinks that merely getting rid of outward, blatant sexual sin is the goal. Neither is accurate.

Related: How to Be Free From Sin–The Higher Law Than “Try Harder”

2. Fighting Sexual Sin Starts With a New Identity

Paul offers his readers another approach to fighting sin, and it starts with these core identity statements:

  • “With Christ you died to the elemental spirits of the world” (2:20).
  • “You have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God” (3:3).
  • “You have been raised with Christ” (3:1).
  • “You were also raised with him through faith in the powerful working of God, who raised him from the dead” (2:12).
  • “You have put off the old self with its practices and have put on the new self” (3:9-10).
  • “The riches of the glory of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory” (1:27).

This is where a lot of modern readers check out. “Don’t give me these abstract theological ideas. I need something practical,” they think. But for Paul, there was nothing more practical, nothing more life-changing, than these ideas.

We are united to the risen Christ by faith. His resurrection life flows in our veins now. The Spirit of the living Christ lives inside us, so we no longer belong to this world and the rules it plays by—we belong to Christ and the age to come. In order to have the power to fight lust, we first have to understand this: we no longer belong to sin. We belong to God who has accepted us and forgiven us, not because we purified ourselves first, but because we are united by faith to the Pure One, Jesus Christ.

[Tweet “In order to fight lust, we must understand that we no longer belong to lust.”]

3. Fighting Sexual Sin Continues by Kindling New Desires

Knowing we are united to the living Christ, Paul writes, “Seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth” (3:1-2). The terms Paul uses here mean to center one’s interests, focus, and passions on something—to savor something. Now that God has united us to the risen Christ, we savor that reality, and this kindles new desires in us that displace a desire for sin.

What are these “things” above that we should savor?

  • First, we are to savor Christ himself. This is one of the reasons why Paul spills a lot of ink in this letter describing who Christ is. He is the beloved Son of God (1:13), the image of the invisible God (1:15), creator and sustainer of all things (1:16-17), the one whose blood reconciles us to the Father (1:20), the firstborn from the dead (1:18), and the one seated at God’s right hand (3:1). In him all the riches of wisdom and knowledge are hidden (2:3). The fullness of deity dwells in Him (1:19; 2:9).
  • Second, we are to savor our new position before God. Christ is seated at God’s right hand and we are seated with Him (Ephesians 2:6). To be seated at a ruler’s right hand meant to be in the position of greatest authority, honor, and delight. Because Christ is in us, we share in the favor He has with the Father.
  • Third, we are to savor the hope that someday we will see and experience these realities. Someday, Christ Himself will appear and we will appear with Him in glory (1:4). It is our destiny to be like the holy, pure Son of God. Some day our eyes will see the one who died for us and rose again, the one who is God in the flesh, and God will honor us as his royal children before every creature, every human soul, and every angelic being in the universe.

How does this practically help us to fight sexual sin? The reason why sexual sin can have such a grip on us is because of its power to define us and what is most valuable, how sexual pleasure makes us feel about ourselves. Sexual fantasy, pornography, or pursuing illicit sex makes us feel desired; it makes us feel valued and validated; it gives us a refuge; it gives us connection; it can even make us feel powerful. This is why setting our affections on things above is so important: It gives us a new center to our lives and gives us a completely new sense of value—not based on our worthiness but based on the love God has for Christ that overflows to us.

Related: What Is the Difference Between “Liking” and “Wanting” Porn?

4. Fighting Sexual Sin Is About Fighting for Our New Desires

Finally, we come to Colossians 3:5, “Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.”

Paul here is not endorsing asceticism—something he has already refuted. Asceticism is about fighting to get rid of something we think is unholy, but mortifying sin is about fighting for the new affections that God is giving to us.

We can construct helpful boundaries in our lives that keep sexual sin out of reach, but we should do so by standing on our identity as God’s beloved children and standing satisfied in Christ and God’s love. When sexual temptation comes knocking, we can say to it, “No, sin. That’s not who I am anymore. You do not define what life is to me anymore. You do not define me anymore. Christ is in me. I am a child of the king, and one day the whole world will know it.”

5. Fighting Sexual Sin Is Sustained by Relationships That Remind Us of Our New Identity

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God” (Colossians 3:16).

This is the essence of real accountability in the body of Christ. Yes, accountability involves confessing our temptations, sins, and the state of our hearts, but it also involves godly encouragement. Accountability is not just about someone calling you out on your sin, but someone calling you up to the person you already are in Christ. Accountability is about surrounding yourself with the kind of Christian friendships that teach and admonish you, that inspire thankfulness, and that help us unpack all the wisdom contained in the great mystery that Paul called “Christ in us, the hope of glory” (1:27).

Accountability is like stoking the embers of a fire. It does not add energy to the embers. It only exposes those embers to the air so new reactions can happen. When we engage in the disciplines of confession, encouragement, and mutual prayer, we expose our souls again to the life-changing gospel, and God’s power is released again and again.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, pornography, recovery, sexual purity

September 8, 2025 By Castimonia

A Mind Map for Sex and Porn Addiction

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, porn, pornography, sex addiction, sexual purity

August 31, 2025 By Castimonia

How Porn Desensitizes You and Fuels Sex Trafficking

Porn isn’t just entertainment—it’s part of a much darker system. In this eye-opening video, Brooke Carlson of Disrupting Traffick unpacks how porn fuels exploitation, desensitizes viewers, and even acts as a weapon traffickers use to control victims. Learn how the U.S. plays a major role in global trafficking, and what you can do to help stop it.

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, porn, pornography, recovery, sexual, sexual purity

August 15, 2025 By Castimonia

Why Talking About Sex and Porn Matters More Than Ever

Originally posted at: https://fightthenewdrug.org/talking-about-sex-and-porn/

Talking about sex is tough, leaving harmful sources like porn to fill the gap. Learn how to start the conversation.

Sex is awkward and uncomfortable to talk about.

Even in familiar, safe environments with family or friends, discussing the topic of sex often feels taboo. Despite shifts in how we learn about sex, discomfort around the topic still persists today.

David Oliver, USA TODAY’s wellness reporter, speaks in this USA TODAY article about the difficulty of discussing sex and why it may not be as simple as looking at the social norms of a given generation. “It holds true for everyone, really. I think particularly for boomers, this was a generation that really did not grow up with a lot of knowledge about sex in terms of their parents talking to them about it,” says Oliver.

There is a clear difference in how baby boomers and older generations learned about sex. Newer generations and younger age groups learn differently now. Oliver states, “Now it’s something that parents are making clear it’s not something that anyone is entitled to have…it’s just a more open conversation. That doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s any easier to talk about.”

Oliver points out how perspectives on sex, its purposes, and its meaning have shifted significantly across generations. This has made discussing sex difficult and finding answers challenging, despite it being a universally relevant topic.

The Effects of Porn Consumption 

So then, where do people seek out answers to their questions about sex?

Oliver points out that “Gen Z and millennials, on the other hand, have more exposure through media, having more conversations about it, through books, things like that.” Media consumption with sexual content has become more accessible than ever, with perhaps one of the most significant locations on the internet being pornography.

PR Newswire shared a study stating that “73% of teen respondents aged 13 to 17 have watched pornography online” 1 and that “online pornography is shaping their views about sex and sexual relationships, as nearly half (45%) of teen respondents said that they felt online pornography gives “helpful” information about sex.” 2

An article from WiFi Talents from 2024 says 30% of all internet traffic is the viewing of pornographic websites online. It also found that 64% of young adults actively seek out pornography weekly. Pornography can also have severe effects on mental health, with WiFi Talents saying, “Pornography consumption is linked to higher rates of depression and lower levels of relationship satisfaction” and “Individuals addicted to pornography are more likely to experience social isolation and relationship problems.”

Porn impacts mental health, distorts understanding of sexuality, and fosters unhealthy views of sex, sometimes leading to harmful behaviors. People who consume pornography often experience less sexual satisfaction in their relationships. This can blur the lines between fantasy-based sexual behavior and reality. 3

Why Porn?

Well, if porn is so harmful to both our views of sex and even our mental health, why are people using it as a resource to learn about sex in the first place? Adrian Chiles, an article writer for the Guardian, makes a rather blunt but somewhat accurate observation regarding this, saying, “I doubt anyone thinks porn is a good way to learn about sex, but where else do you see people, like, doing it?” 4

One reason people use porn to understand sex is its simplicity. It’s easy and accessible. With internet access, pornography is typically available within seconds on smartphones, laptops, or any other connected device. It may surprise some that porn is becoming a more common method people use to learn about sex. But when you consider the easy accessibility of it on the internet alongside the uncomfortable feeling of talking about sex we often see in society, you can see how some may see it as a logical outlet to further their education about sex.

Oliver says, “Pornography has existed many different ways over decades, over a long time, but I believe that with more access to the internet, with more ability for anybody to post videos about whatever they want, I think you’re just naturally going to get people who are curious about things in unregulated internet that way in terms of what people can really share.”

The unregulated nature of pornography is not only far more harmful to one’s education on sex but can lead to depression, anxiety, warped sexual views and behaviors, and less emotional and sexual satisfaction in relationships 5.

Oliver states, “With more access to the internet, we get more education about sex, about a lot of different things, but we also get a darker side. So I think that’s why we’re seeing that happening, and it just speaks to how much more education we need.”

Talking About Porn

While talking about sex can be tricky, talking about pornography is not any easier.

It is not only an awkward and uncomfortable topic, but there is also often a strong stigma of shame culture around pornography consumption in our society. When someone consumes pornography, it can often lead to a mindset of self-deprecation and self-isolation 6. This can make individuals feel trapped and hopeless.

People feel reluctant to open up. They believe it won’t actually help them. Instead, they fear it will bring more shame about their pornography use. This can then lead to and result in avoidant behavior in personal relationships. One reason it’s so difficult is the challenge of knowing how to approach and start the conversation. Fear and shame surrounding the topic make it even harder.

At Fight the New Drug, we understand all of this, and we know it well, which is why we have our Conversation Blueprint. Pornography is hard to talk about, and we want to change that. Our blueprint offers advice on discussing pornography and sharing struggles with friends, family members, or romantic partners.

Talking about pornography is the first step, and we’re here to support and provide you with helpful resources. So then, let’s talk about porn!

Filed Under: Sexual Purity Posts Tagged With: addiction, porn, pornography, recovery, sexual purity

April 30, 2025 By Castimonia

NEW STEP GROUP – Starting THIS SATURDAY – May 3rd

Our founder, Jorge, will be leading his seventh step study group starting in May.

The group lasts for about 12 to 18 months and you will go through all the steps including the pre-step and post-step work in the Castimonia book. 

They will meet every week on Saturday mornings from 8:00am to 9:55am before the 10am Saturday Castimonia meeting in Katy. There is no cost to join the group but you must purchase a copy of the Castimonia book, 2nd edition.  Out of town guests will be able to use Zoom to join the group if they cannot attend in person. Houston-area members will need to attend in person.

This group takes a strong, long term commitment and is great for those ready to work the steps and have the Lord change their lives.

Please have any interested individuals contact Jorge at jorge@castimonia.org.

Filed Under: General Meeting Information Tagged With: castimonia, christian, porn, pornography, recovery, Sex, sex addiction, sexual, sexual purity

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This site is intended for individuals who struggle with maintaining sexual purity. This information is posted for individuals at various stages in their recovery, year 1 to year 30+; what applies to some, may not apply others. Spouses are encouraged to read this blog with the caveat that they may not agree with, understand, or know the reason for some items posted. As always, take what you like and leave the rest.

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