CASTIMONIA

Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

porn

By

Today’s Teens are Distributing Child Porn of Themselves Without Knowing It

Originally posted at: https://fightthenewdrug.org/teens-are-distributing-child-porn-of-themselves-without-knowing-it/

The momentary thrill of being noticed by your crush is definitely overshadowed by the many risks of sexting—ending up in court is only one of them.

For today’s teens, sending nudes is considered a normal form of flirting. But no matter how common it is, it’s causing some serious and unexpected trouble.

As just one example, a 16-year-old Maryland girl faced child pornography—also known as child sexual abuse material (CSAM)—charges for making a sexually explicit video of herself and texting it to two of her friends.

The teen, only identified as S.K., was convicted in juvenile court but her case was appealed to the state’s highest court, who will now determine how to treat teens who produce and distribute graphic content of themselves.

S.K.’s case shows the reality of teens today

The video showed S.K. performing oral sex on a 16-year-old male and was shared with S.K.’s two friends, who then shared the video with their school resource officer and other students.

There was a falling out among the friends as the video got around, and S.K.’s mother told the court that her daughter was so upset about the video being shared beyond the two friends that she didn’t attend school for a month.

Because S.K. was convicted in juvenile court, she will not be required to register as a sex offender, which has happened in different sexting cases. Many questions have been raised in legal circles as to the best way to deal with teen sexting cases in court or whether they should even be in court.

After all, CSAM laws are in place to protect teens and children, but what do we do when teens are producing it of themselves?

Age is a serious issue with sexting. Taking an explicit photo of yourself when you’re not yet 18 years old and then sharing it with another person not only puts you at risk of being victimized by “revenge porn“—or the nonconsensual sharing of intimate images, or the threat of sharing intimate images—but also at odds with the law for CSAM distribution.

While the laws are continuously updated and amended, here’s what we do know for teens today: sexting, along with the pressure to ask for or send nude pics, is a constant part of life.

Sexting falls under CSAM laws

In 2018, a study showed that 27% of 12-17 year-olds receive sexts, and almost 15% send them. Perhaps these numbers seem like sexting is a fringe issue, but many young people report that sexting is normal, suggesting “everyone does it.” If teens think sexting is mainstream, they are more likely to join in.

Just as our culture accepts porn as harmless despite the clear negative impacts, sexting is increasingly brushed off. It’s even considered a fun, normal way to explore a new relationship, but in the eyes of what’s legally acceptable, this is not the case for teens.

According to US federal law, CSAM is defined as “any visual depiction of sexually explicit conduct involving a minor (someone under 18 years of age).” Producing, possessing, or distributing (i.e., sharing with friends) nude pictures when you’re still a teenager falls under illegal contraband.

Even though teens sharing images of each other is not the same as a video of a young child being abused, lawmakers are understandably hesitant to allow leniency to any underage explicit images. For now, hitting “send” can have some serious consequences. But as technology evolves, and the culture around sexting evolves with it, that may change.

Beyond the law, sexting is a minefield

The momentary thrill of being noticed by your crush is definitely overshadowed by the many risks of sexting—ending up in court is one of them, albeit an extreme one. Sharing explicit photos of yourself relinquishes control of your privacy, which could result in your images being posted online or circulated around school. Sexting is never totally safe.

If you’re doubtful it could happen to you, consider this: one survey has said 12% of teens have forwarded a sext without the consent of the person involved, and 8.4% knew of one of their own sexts being forwarded without their consent. In other reports, those numbers are much higher.

It’s important to note that surveys have shown that pictures resulting from pressure are much more likely to be shared around than those shared in an already-established relationship with trust.1

Additionally, sexting is like porn in the way it objectifies and dehumanizes the subject. Sexual objectification occurs when people perceive others as sex objects rather than complex human beings deserving of dignity and respect. In fact, in a review of research on sexual violence, two leading experts called sexual objectification the “common thread” that connects different forms of sexual violence.2

Reject dehumanization and objectification

Each one of us can play a part in creating a healthier culture that rejects the normalization of objectification. And that starts not only with putting an end to sexually inappropriate and harmful behaviors but also putting an end to attitudes that support dehumanization.

Sometimes girls sending nude sexts think they can avoid the shame of being identified online by cropping their faces out of their pictures, but this is objectification similar to what the porn industry practices. It allows for the consumption of a body instead of the respect of a whole person, and is that ever healthy in a relationship?

You’re either a “prude” if you don’t join in, or you run the risk of distributing CSAM and some serious consequences if you do send pics. The pressure to join in is very real and can even be flattering. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be attractive and being noticed for being attractive, but the reality is sexting is a minefield.

We aren’t here to control anyone’s sexual choices or shame anyone. We do know, however, that a respectful crush won’t pressure anyone to send them anything.

The possibility of being entangled in CSAM laws is very real. Beyond the law, sexting culture is toxic, suggesting to girls that their worth is their body and to boys that a girl is a sexual object for their pleasure. How is this message helpful to anyone?

Pressing “send” is never worth it, and no one deserves to have their private images shared.

By

How Long Does It Take To Recover From Porn Addiction?

originally posted at: https://www.covenanteyes.com/blog/how-long-does-it-take-to-recover-from-porn-addiction

by Keith Rose

If you, a friend, spouse, or loved one is trying to overcome porn, you’ve probably wondered how long it takes to recover from porn addiction. Some people say two weeks; others say 30 days. Recovery programs suggest 60 days or 90 days as an expected timeline for recovery. Noted sex addiction expert Dr. Patrick Carnes suggests a timeline of two or more years.

So how long is it going to take to be absolutely positively free from porn? Here are some helpful guidelines based on expert research that will help you better understand the porn recovery process and accurately assess how much time recovery will take in different situations.

Can You Recover from Porn Addiction?

I was recently having lunch with some friends, and somebody asked me, “Given the huge problem of pornography, do you get discouraged with what you’re doing? Doesn’t the darkness seem overwhelming?”

The darkness of porn addiction can feel overwhelming. But I don’t get discouraged because I get the joy of hearing stories of victory every day. A Covenant Eyes member named David wrote to us:

“I would like to say thank you for Covenant Eyes. Since I put Covenant Eyes on my computer and phone and my tablets back in February 2020, I have not seen any porn. I have been struggling with porn for almost 40 years since the age of 16.”

So before we dive into the “how long” question, I want to affirm that you absolutely can recover from porn addiction. It doesn’t matter how long someone has been stuck, how deeply ingrained their habit is, or how out of control their life feels. Like David, you can break free.

2 Perspectives on How Long It Takes to Recover From Porn

There are two different ways of answering the question, “how long does it take to recover from porn addiction?” First, quitting porn takes a second. But also, porn recovery takes a lifetime. Both perspectives are equally true and equally important.

1. Quitting porn only takes a second.

“Quitting is easy; I’ve done it hundreds of times.” So goes the old joke. It might be painful more than funny for anyone trapped by an addiction like porn. But there’s a nugget of truth in it: quitting porn does only take a second.

Someone can quit porn as quickly as they can close the browser. Every time someone chooses not to look at porn, they’ve quit porn. It’s as simple as that. Quitting porn isn’t something that takes years, months, or even days—it’s a decision in a moment.

It may be obvious, but it’s nonetheless important to remember. Alcoholics Anonymous gives advice very pertinent for people recovering from porn:

“In most cases, we cannot anticipate every possible turn of events, and no matter how diligently we are prepared, we are eventually caught off guard. Meanwhile, we’ve expended so much time and energy trying to predict future events, soothe future hurts, and even prevent future consequences that we have missed out on today’s opportunities. And the magnitude of the task we have set for ourselves has left us drained, overwhelmed, and distraught.”

Don’t worry about never looking at porn again. Just quit for now.

2. Recovery from porn takes a lifetime.

If you’ve wondered how long it takes, your question is not about quitting as much as it’s about recovery. How much time does it take someone to fully recover from porn addiction? From this perspective, quitting takes a lifetime.

Sex addiction therapist Marnie Ferree says:

“Ultimately, recovery is about practicing a new way of living, not simply about avoiding the practice of an addiction. Recovery is a commitment to a different life, forever and ever. To stop recovery because you’ve been doing it a long time is like deciding to stop breathing—ludicrous. (And life-threatening.) Walking in recovery is a ‘forever’ journey.”¹

Understanding the journey is vital. Therapists Larry and Wendy Maltz agree, “…every former porn user will find him or herself having to make frequent choices to reaffirm the commitment to stay away from porn.” However, they contend that it’s worth the effort, “It’s a lifelong process, but the feeling of accomplishment you can get from being able to keep porn out of your life can be an amazingly powerful experience.”²

4 Questions to Help Determine How Long Porn Addiction Recovery Might Take

These two short answers are important to keep in mind, but we can get more precise than this.

Here are some more helpful questions you can ask to help answer, “How long will it take to recover from porn?”

1. What Circumstances Drive the Porn Addiction?

Ask ten different former porn users how long it took them to recover and you’ll likely get ten different answers. This is because the circumstances that shape someone’s porn habit can impact their recovery time.

If you understand the underlying circumstances of someone’s porn usage, you’ll have a better idea of how long it will take them to break free. Here are some of the common reasons why porn is addictive.

When did they get hooked? 

When you got hooked on porn says a lot about how long it will take to change these patterns. Author and recovery expert John Fort says, “The sad reality for nearly every adult who struggles with porn is that their compulsive porn use started in childhood. In the more than two decades I that have been working with hundreds of men and women trying to overcome pornography addiction, I have met only one who did not first start using pornography as a child.”

What does this mean for recovery time? The earlier the exposure, the longer you can expect before the urges to look at porn go away.

Don’t be discouraged if you’re dealing with a porn addiction that was formed in childhood. While it creates challenges, it can be overcome! We recently heard from one of our members who signed for Covenant Eyes to get control of his addiction, “I’m 68 years old, and for the first time in 58 years, I’ve been porn-free for 35 days, praise God!”

Are they dealing with trauma? 

Many addictions are shaped by traumatic events, such as abuse or the loss of a loved one. Counselor and researcher Jay Stringer writes, “The heaviest consumers of pornography in my research had 8% higher rates of past sexual abuse compared to those who did not watch porn or moderately consumed it.”

When porn use is connected to trauma, it can make recovery much more challenging. Recovery means doing the hard work of honestly examining the painful circumstances of the past and how porn is being used to soothe old wounds or fulfill unmet needs.

What are their withdrawal symptoms? 

Many people recovering from porn addiction report withdrawal symptoms such as fogginess, anxiousness, or decreased sex drive. Dr. Kevin Skinner says most withdrawal symptoms last only two to eight weeks (Treating Pornography Addiction, 41). However, this depends on the symptoms being experienced and their severity. For severe and long-term addictions, expect withdrawal symptoms to last anywhere from one to eight months.

For the fastest possible recovery, you need a realistic plan for dealing with symptoms. If you or someone you know is currently suffering from porn withdrawal symptoms, don’t worry! They don’t have to derail the recovery process. Learn more about symptoms of porn withdrawal.

2. What’s the Level of Involvement With Porn?

We’ve seen the circumstances that often drive porn addiction and are contributing factors to the severity of a person’s porn use. In addition to understanding the circumstances, it’s helpful to determine the level of involvement with porn.

Certified Sex Addiction Therapist Dr. Kevin Skinner helpfully describes seven levels you can use for evaluation. In his book, Treating Pornography Addiction, Dr. Skinner explains, “I believe it is much easier to view pornography involvement and addiction on a continuum rather than proclaiming a person addicted or not addicted.”²

Here’s a summary of the seven levels:

  1. Indifference. At this level, someone is not actively seeking out porn. They may have seen porn accidentally, but it hasn’t made much of an impression yet. (People rarely stay at this stage for long.)
  2. Growing curiosity. Dr. Skinner says, “The desire to view pornography does not dominate day-in and day-out thinking. Generally speaking, those who score at this level have recently had an increase in exposure to pornography and are questioning the growing curiosity they feel.”
  3. Occasional viewing. The desire to view pornography has become habitual at this point. The individual isn’t viewing porn every day but nonetheless finds themself returning to it even if they intend not to. At this stage, they start fantasizing about porn while they’re not looking at it.
  4. Regular consumption. Here’s where we start to see more serious problems. At this level, porn may start to have an impact on the person’s other priorities. They may begin to escalate their viewing to more extreme forms of porn. They may have attempted to quit multiple times without success. They can experience withdrawal symptoms when going extended periods of time without porn.
  5.  Increased obsession. In the fifth level, porn is not just a regular habit but almost a daily routine. Even if they don’t look at porn, they’re thinking about looking at porn. Dr. Skinner says, “What initially may have been a hobby or something that was done for entertainment is now a big part of this person’s life.” At this level, they are aware that porn has an outsized influence on their life and have probably experienced negative effects. Quitting is extremely difficult and is starting to feel hopeless.
  6. Domination. Here, pornography has moved to a central place in a person’s life. A day without porn is not a normal day. They feel out of control and unable to quit. Dr. Skinner says, “They are likely to have lost something in their life due to their involvement with pornography. Some people lose a job, others their spouse, others lose their desire for other passions. Still others lose their belief in God.”
  7.  Out of control. Most people don’t reach the final level of involvement with porn—this is where you see extreme examples of irrational behavior. Unfortunately, it does happen. Porn is not only central to their life; porn controls every decision they make. A woman reached out to us recently and told the story of her husband, a retired military veteran. His 40-year porn addiction eventually landed him in prison. “Porn is no joke,” she said. “[He] lost his job, his kids, and his wife.”

Try to understand how serious their involvement is before setting expectations for recovery.

As a general rule, the higher someone is on the scale, the longer it takes to completely break free. An individual at level two or three will likely recover much more quickly than someone at five or six.

On the other hand, people at the lower levels are less likely to be serious about their recovery. Former porn addict Nate Larkin says, “I’m told that four out of five guys who seek help for a sexually compulsive behavior only do so after receiving an ultimatum from a wife or a girlfriend. I’m one of the four.”

3. What Are They Willing to Do to Recover?

The length of time for recovery will vary depending on the circumstances and severity of the addiction, but it also depends on the intensity of their commitment to recovery and what sacrifices they’re willing to make.

Sex addiction therapist Jim Cress has said, “Things that were formed in intensity in my life will be changed through intensity in my recovery.” In other words, how quickly you can break free from porn will depend on the lengths you’re willing to go.

Dr. Doug Weiss says, “You have to be willing to do things you haven’t done before. Seriously, if you keep trying to quit porn the same way, you’re likely to fail again. To stop watching porn for good, you have to give up what you’ve been doing and do what you have to do.” This could include getting counseling or trauma therapy.

4. Do They Have Supportive Allies?

Addictions thrive in isolation. Some medical experts have called addiction “a disease of isolation.”4 Porn, in particular, thrives on feelings of loneliness and shame. Because all people need secure relationships, someone without these relationships is especially vulnerable to a relationship with porn.

One of the most important factors in a person’s recovery is the allies they have to support them. Nobody overcomes porn without understanding friends and loved ones to encourage them on the journey. Porn addiction recovery groups can provide this vital support.

Speaking to allies, sex addiction therapist Dr. Peter Kleponis says, “You need to be totally committed to your friend by being a constant source of support and accountability.” Without people who love unconditionally and support them, recovery is just too difficult to continue.

A Realistic Timeline for Porn Addiction Recovery

As we’ve seen, there are all different levels of porn addiction. All these variables make absolute predictions about recovery time impossible. However, there is research that can help us see how long it takes someone to break free from a serious porn addiction when they’re committed to the process.

Sex addiction expert Patrick Carnes conducted a study that covered five years of addiction recovery. Carnes suggests a timeline for six stages of recovery.5

Porn recovery timeline showing the six stages of recovery: development, crisis, shock, grief, repair, and growth.

1. The Development Stage

This is the stage prior to acknowledging there’s a problem. Some are here only briefly. For others, it takes years. Some people never recognize there’s a problem with porn. The timeline won’t start until someone is past this stage.

2. The Crisis/Decision Stage (0-3 months)

This stage lasts anywhere from one day to three months. “At some point, the addict crosses a line where there is a fundamental commitment to change.” For many, it’s a life-shaking crisis, such as being caught looking at porn at work or a spouse threatening to leave. For others, it’s simply a decisive moment when they choose to no longer be controlled by porn.

3. The Shock Stage (1-8 months)

This stage may be the most difficult for individuals in recovery. Carnes advises, “Disbelief and numbness alternate with anger and feelings of separation. Addicts describe physical symptoms of withdrawal that are at times agonizing. They also report disorientation, confusion, numbness, and inability to focus or concentrate. Feelings of hopelessness and despair become more intense as their sense of reality grows.”

4. The Grief Stage (6 months)

This is where someone begins to deal with the pain caused by porn. They also dig into the underlying causes of their porn use, which can result in a period of deep grieving and emotional turmoil as these issues are unearthed and dealt with.

5. The Repair Stage (18-36 months)

Once the grief stage is complete, the person in recovery focuses on learning balance, self-care, and positive habits that can replace porn. This is an exciting and positive time for people in recovery. Based on Carnes’s timeline, this period can last up to three years.

6. The Growth Stage (2+ years)

This is the final stage of recovery. It marks a mature outlook on life and one’s relationship to porn. They can look back on the addiction to porn with gratitude for what they’ve learned. Dr. Carnes says, “Relationships with partners, friends, children, and family go through a period of renewal. Here, too, is where life-satisfaction measures showed improvement in the study.”

Dr. Carnes found that most slip-ups occur six to twelve months into recovery, but those who persisted experienced increasing success after this.

Celebrate Every Victory on the Journey!

Wherever your friend or loved one is in recovery, it’s important to celebrate each victory. Too many people feel daunted by the long-term aspects of recovery and fail to appreciate how much progress is happening.

Every moment someone chooses to quit porn is worth celebrating. That’s why in 2021, Covenant Eyes started Victory Week—to highlight the small successes in the bigger journey towards freedom. Here are some important milestones you should honor:

  • The decision to ask for help quitting porn. Admitting you have a problem is a big deal! If someone reaches out for help, honor and celebrate that decision.
  • Learning from slip-ups. A slip-up isn’t a reason to celebrate. However, there’s priceless wisdom to be gained from honestly examining mistakes. Learning your triggers and how to avoid them is a reason to celebrate!
  • Thirty porn-free days. Going a whole month without porn is an INCREDIBLE milestone.
  • Every 24 hours of porn-free life. Every day without porn is a day you’re choosing to live a better life. Don’t worry about tomorrow—enjoy the success you’ve had today.

These are just the beginning, but you get the idea. Recovery from porn can be a long journey, but it’s an exciting one!


Keith Rose

Keith Rose holds a Master of Divinity degree and BA in Sacred Music. Keith worked with the Covenant Eyes Member Care Team for 15 years. He has also served as a Bible teacher, pastoral assistant, and music director at his local church. He’s now the editor of the Covenant Eyes blog and the author of Allied: Fighting Porn With Accountability, Faith, and Friends. He lives in Hendersonville, North Carolina with his wife Ruby and daughter Winslow. Contact Keith with blog inquiries.

By

Entering Your Spouse’s World of Pain

originally posted at: https://sexuallypuremen.beehiiv.com/p/entering-your-spouse-s-world-of-pain-88aa

One of the most important—yet often misunderstood—aspects of relationship repair is the ability to enter your spouse’s world of pain, or what I refer to as the Pain Field. This is not about giving the right answers, explaining your side of the story, or doing enough to be forgiven. It is about emotional presence, compassion, courage, and humility.

And this is where many men struggle.

In my counseling work with men, I have watched good-hearted individuals who genuinely want to make things right stumble repeatedly—not because they do not care, but because they do not know how to step into their wife’s pain without defending themselves or trying to fix it too quickly. They think they’re doing the right thing, but they’re missing what she truly needs.

Let’s unpack the four critical components that will help you shift from confusion and failure to empathy and connection.

1. Identify the Real Pain Point

Here’s the truth: what she says she’s upset about and what she’s really hurt by are often two different things.

Take this example: you don’t check in during the workday. You come home, and she’s upset. You immediately go into defense mode:

  • “I was swamped and didn’t have time.”
  • “I didn’t even eat today.”
  • “I thought we were good.”

What you fail to realize is that not calling is just the circumstance—it’s not the core. The real pain point is that she feels neglected or overlooked. Over time, the absence of your attention triggers something much deeper: a sense that she is invisible, unimportant, or not worth the effort.

Here’s the key: if you stay stuck defending yourself over why you didn’t call, you’re missing the emotional heart of the matter. She is standing in her Pain Field—and you’re standing on another field altogether. When you’re on different playing fields, you miss the key moments that allow you to bring comfort and repair.

Real empathy starts by asking, “What is the emotional message underneath her words?” It requires slowing everything down (my number one recovery rule) and listening—not just to her words but to her heart.

2. Lead with Curiosity, Not Assumptions

A second major trap is assuming you already know what’s going on in her mind.

You think:

  • “She’s just being emotional.”
  • Or worse, “She’s still mad about that?”
  • Or maybe, “If I just do X, Y, Z, she’ll calm down.”

But what’s really happening? You’re trying to control the outcome instead of understanding her pain. Your anxiety escalates, and you start looking for the exit ramp.

Curiosity is the antidote. But what does that look like? It sounds like:

  • “Can you help me understand what emotions you’re feeling right now?”
  • “What did that moment feel like for you?”
  • “You said you think I’m still acting out. I understand why you feel that way—can you tell me what’s happening that makes you believe that?”
  • “What is one thing I can do right now that might help you the most?”

Curiosity is not interrogation. It’s not asking questions to fix, defend, or redirect. It’s about showing her: I see you. I’m here for this. Your pain matters to me.

When you’re truly curious, you become safe. And when you become safe, she begins to open.

3. Her Pain. Not Yours.

This one is hard—really hard—for most men. Because when you hear her hurt, what do you do? You internalize it. You start thinking:

  • “I’m a failure.”
  • “No matter what I do, it’s never enough.”
  • “I’m going to have to live with her anger forever.”
  • “I’m such an awful man. She’s going to leave me.”

But the moment you let your pain become the focus, you’ve exited her Pain Field and entered your own. And that creates a no-win situation. She feels unheard and emotionally abandoned, while you feel misunderstood and defeated. The cycle of disconnect continues.

Here’s the truth: her pain is not a weapon—it’s a wound. And it’s a wound that you caused. Your job is not to defend yourself against it. Your job is to tend to it.

That requires emotional maturity—a willingness to sit with her pain without needing to correct it, justify it, or outmatch it with your own.

4. The Final Key

You’ve heard me say: Being emotionally regulated is recovery. Think about it—if you are emotionally regulated, what can go wrong? If she’s in the midst of a triggering event, you will be able to carry yourself in a way that avoids further damage and may even de-escalate the situation.

That’s why it’s critical to focus on maintaining emotional regulation throughout the day. Take three breaks and utilize one of the 20 emotional regulation techniques I’ve identified to keep yourself in the window of tolerance.

You can learn more about this important topic by reading my article, The Cornerstone of Recovery: Emotional Regulation, at https://sexuallypuremen.beehiiv.com. While you’re there, sign up to receive all of my articles.

Final Thoughts

Entering your spouse’s Pain Field is not easy—but it is sacred work. It requires the courage to face your own discomfort, the humility to admit and own your mistakes, and the strength to stay present even when things feel overwhelming. Yes, it’s difficult.

But here’s what I can promise you: When a woman feels emotionally safe, consistently seen, and deeply understood, her healing accelerates. And when you can do that—not just once, but over and over—you don’t just help her heal.

You become the man you were always meant to be.

Dr. Eddie Capparucci is a licensed counselor, speaker, and creator of the Inner Child Model™ for treating addictive behaviors. His mission is to help men complete their recovery by embracing emotional maturity. You can reach him at innerchildmodel@gmail.com.

By

The Impact of Early Porn Exposure on Boys and How to Protect Them

Originally posted at: https://fightthenewdrug.org/early-porn-exposure-impact/

Porn exposure in boys begins as early as 5, leading to potential brain changes and aggressive behaviors. With easy access to increasingly violent and addictive content, it’s crucial to educate and protect children. Here’s what you can do to help.

The problem starts at 13.

That’s the average age that boys are exposed to porn, according to multiple studies.1 And that’s not even the worst part. Some studies suggest that pornography exposure in boys can happen as early as 5.2

At five, boys should be learning to read, developing their imagination, and building early friendships, not being exposed to pornography. But in our era of smartphones and unlimited internet, pornography access has largely become a quick internet search and click away. And restrictions on computers can be easily overridden.

A recent article by Mamamia addressed the difficulties of raising boys when pornography is so easily accessible and difficult to censor. Mamamia covered how common it was for young boys to watch porn. They found that out of “830 young Australians aged 16 to 20, half of young men watch porn at least once a week and nearly 20 percent almost daily.”3

The problem is both the type and the amount of porn that boys are watching has changed.

Porn has changed

Back in 1953, Hugh Hefner released his first Playboy. Still, images of naked models opened the doors for modern-day pornography. Just three years later, VCR emerged, and in the 80s, video pornography became available in the United States for the first time. Still, you must show your ID to prove you’re 18, but it’s becoming more accessible. Nothing, however, compares to how accessible it became once the internet started in the 1990s. Suddenly, anyone can access just about any type of porn they want with just a quick search.

Now porn sites consistently remain some of the top most used websites in the world. As of May 2024, Pornhub was the leading adult content and pornographic website for global users. It averaged about 5.49 billion monthly visits. Xvideos ranked next with about 4.02 billion monthly visits.4

That’s an average of 92 billion visits for 2024. That’s 252 million visits a day. 175 thousand visits every minute. So if it took you six minutes to read this article, Pornhub and Xvideos would have already received over a million visits.

Porn started out as just still images, but now it’s grown to be something much bigger than that.

Porn enables violence and aggression towards women

Not only did how accessible, affordable, and anonymous porn became change, but the type of porn that people were producing changed too. A concerned mom in Mamamia addressed the growing disparity between what started out as still images but has grown to something much worse. “The online environment and the porn and depiction of violence against women in particular is something most adults didn’t grow up with themselves.”

Unfortunately, studies only confirm this mom’s worry. Research suggests that 1 in 3 pornographic videos contain some sort of violence against women. In a 2010 study on the “best-selling” pornography videos, a study found that  “the 304 scenes analyzed 88.2% contained physical aggression, principally spanking, gagging, and slapping, while 48.7% of scenes contained verbal aggression, primarily name-calling. Perpetrators of aggression were usually male, whereas targets of aggression were overwhelmingly female.”5

A recent NSW health report showed exposure to violent porn was one of the four common factors behind harmful adolescent behaviors.

A study from 2021 suggests that porn encourages aggressive behavior in men toward women. The study surveyed 320 men and found that the objectification and aggression that often happens in porn leads men to be associated with “aggressive attitudes” and “aggressive behaviors.”6

A study from 2016 found that pornography consumption was associated with a likelihood of “sexual aggression among adults and adolescents.”7 The study also found that there was no significant research to support the idea that men with tendencies for sexually aggressive behavior were only watching pornography to support their “already established sexual scripts” (199). Instead, it found that “pornography consumption predicted boys’ later sexual aggression” (199).

That means porn has an impact on whether boys will develop these behaviors. Porn establishes aggression and objectification, possibly developing these behaviors in boys who may not have had them initially.

Porn changes boys brains

The problem isn’t just that boys are being exposed to porn at a young age or that porn has changed. It’s that a combination of these two things has an actual impact on a young boy’s brain.

Although not formally diagnosed as an addiction, porn induces dopamine in a way that mimics addiction. JAMA Psychiatry found that, like with alcohol or cocaine addicts, there is a smaller grey matter volume. They concluded that neural changes in the “brains of pornography users…mirrors the use of addictive drugs.”8

The fact that porn is so violent, easy to access, and anonymous makes it dangerous for young boys to see. And unlike alcohol, cocaine, or other addictive substances, there’s hardly anything standing between young boys and getting access to it.

Luckily, we have some tips on how to fight it.

What you can do

Mamamia pointed out that often, “parents aren’t aware their child is watching porn or the nature of the porn they’re watching, so education is the first step.” One mom discussed how she was already having educating conversations with her seven-year-old boy. “We break it down and talk to him about boundaries… and if he feels scared or uncomfortable, there are only two things he needs to do: turn away and tell a safe person.”

Like Mamamia, we agree that education is so important in the fight against pornography. That’s why we’ve compiled different resources to make educating your kids, friends, or even yourself easy and accessible.

Some of our resources include our age-appropriate and engaging presentation series about the harms of porn and what you can do, our Brain, Heart, World documentary, hundreds of Youtube videos, and of course, this blog.

You’re not alone. We believe in you, so keep fighting!

Citations

1British Board of Film Classification. (2020). Young people, pornography & age-verification. BBFC. Retrieved from https://www.bbfc.co.uk/about-classification/research; https://www.jmir.org/2023/1/e43116/PDF

2https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2017/08/pornography-exposure

3https://www.mamamia.com.au/how-porn-is-affecting-young-boys/

4https://www.statista.com/statistics/1445661/most-visited-porn-websites-worldwide/

5https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/epdf/10.1177/1077801210382866

6Zhou, Y., Liu, T., Yan, Y., & Paul, B. (2021). Pornography use, two forms of dehumanization, and sexual aggression: Attitudes vs. behaviors. Null, 1-20.

7Journal of Communication, Volume 66, Issue 1, February 2016, Pages 183–205, https://doi.org/10.1111/jcom.12201

8https://acpeds.org/position-statements/the-impact-of-pornography-on-children#_edn13

9Robb, M.B., & Mann, S. (2023). Teens and pornography. San Francisco, CA: Common Sense.

10Martellozzo, E., Monaghan, A., Adler, J. R., Davidson, J., Leyva, R., & Horvath, M. A. H. (2016). “I wasn’t sure it was normal to watch it”: A quantitative and qualitative examination of the impact of online pornography on the values, attitudes, beliefs and behaviours of children and young people. Middlesex University, NSPCC, & Office of the Children’s Commissioner.

11Robb, M.B., & Mann, S. (2023). Teens and pornography. San Francisco, CA: Common Sense.

12Fritz, N., Malic, V., Paul, B., & Zhou, Y. (2020). A descriptive analysis of the types, targets, and relative frequency of aggression in mainstream pornography. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 49(8), 3041-3053. doi:10.1007/s10508-020-01773-0

13Bridges et al., 2010, “Aggression and Sexual Behavior in Best-Selling Pornography Videos: A Content Analysis,” Violence Against Women.

14Fight the New Drug. (2024, May). Get the Facts (Series of web articles). Fight the New Drug.

15Robb, M.B., & Mann, S. (2023). Teens and pornography. San Francisco, CA: Common Sense.

16Fight the New Drug. (2024, May). Get the Facts (Series of web articles). Fight the New Drug.