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Speaking Life Into Your Despair

by Rob Weddle

“I feel it in the Earth. I smell it in the air.”
Galadriel, Lord of the Rings

Hopelessness, depression, anxiety, fear and suicide are growing, it seems. I feel it; can you feel it? Many who have never experienced such despairing emotions will admit they’re struggling. Hope is more difficult to unearth than it once was.

This blog is an attempt to speak LIFE into the death which seeks to overtake us all. I don’t mean to offend or be hyper-spiritual, but I have no hope outside of Jesus Christ, so it is in His name I come to you.

I pray the light of Christ invade your darkness, chasing away all blackness and shadows (John 1:5, I John 1:5).

I pray someone close to you helps you to see your WORTH today, as opposed to a supposed worthlessness.

I pray you find laughter in the most unlikely of places.

I pray you receive not one but multiple hugs today. You need that.

I pray the Lord show you how AMAZING you are.

I pray hope surround you like a warm blanket on a bone-chilly day.

I pray love protect you from the rain.

I pray you are comforted in your loneliness.

I pray your depression lifts, and God helps you see the sun (Son?) again.

I pray your anxiety slows, and then dissipates.

I pray that power, love and a sound mind chase away all your fear (II Timothy 1:7).

I pray the graceful hand of mercy lead you from the angry sea of self-hatred, and to the tranquil shores of serenity.

And remember:

You are not the dissenting voices of your childhood.

You are not the abuses which haunt you at midnight.

You are a child of God, and He loves you.

Please be comforted by the following scriptural affirmations:

“All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.” II Corinthians 1:3-4

“I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and He turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire.
He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along. He has given me a new song to sing, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see what He has done and be amazed. They will put their trust in the Lord.” Psalm 40:1-3

“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” I Peter 5:7

(Jesus said) “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.” John 14:27

“Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; He’s the one who will keep you on track.” Proverbs 3:5-6

“O my soul, why be so gloomy and discouraged? Trust in God! I shall again praise Him for his wondrous help; He will make me smile again, for He is my God!” Proverbs 43:5

“Then Jesus said, ‘Come to Me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.’” Matthew 11:28

“I prayed to the Lord, and He answered me. He freed me from all my fears. Those who look to Him for help will be radiant with joy; no shadow of shame will darken their faces.” Psalm 34:4-5

“Be glad for all God is planning for you. Be patient in trouble, and prayerful always.” Romans 12:12

Blessings.

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Don’t Let Others Control Your Emotions

by Rob Weddle

You may not even be aware you’re giving others control over your personal emotions.

I used to do that all the time.

I’d be in a good mood, but before you know it, I was angry or depressed. Why? Maybe a coworker breezed through the door in a foul mood, or perhaps some idiot bumped into me at Walmart, and then blamed me for it.

And that was that; my smile morphed to a scowl. Looking back on it, I’m surprised at how fragile and gullible I was.

You don’t HAVE to give others that much power, ya know. Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have the ability to rise above the dank, cold moods of others? To soar with the eagles, wholly unaffected by petty anger and strife?

You can take back that control, it just takes times and practice.

See, when you allow the negativity around you to seep in to your own spirit, you’re CHOOSING weakness over strength. It’s like handing someone the keys to your emotions and saying, “Do with them as you will.”

C’mon, you’re stronger than that! You’re better than that!

I had a counselor once explain to me that my own personal mood and emotions should be like a well-secured fortress. They should be an island, or a castle with a leviathan-infested moat around it.

People can only get in if I let them in.

Maybe you should read that again.

You CHOOSE the foul mood when you let someone else’s shadows chase away your light. Or, as Gandhi said… “You can’t hurt me without my permission.”

I would encourage you to analyze your own habits as they relate to your fluctuating mood. Are you giving others power over you?

The first step in healing is REALIZING you have a problem. The second step is working toward full self-control of your own emotions.

You regain control by choosing light over darkness. Nobody can force you to have a bad mood.

Take back the keys to your castle, my friend. Crank up the drawbridge and let the beasts in the moat do their job.

There are a lot of miserable people in the world, but you don’t have to be one of them.

YOU choose what kind of a day you’re gonna have, not them.

YOU choose your mood, not them.

This won’t change overnight, but with prayer, practice and patience, you can take charge of your own emotions again.

This is one of the most crucial steps to attaining inner peace.

You can do it.

You can be free.

Blessings.

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Lose Your Wife, Lose Your Mind

Lose Your Wife, Lose Your Mind[1]

A recent study from Michigan State University (https://academic.oup.com/psychsocgerontology/advance-article-abstract/doi/10.1093/geronb/gbz087/5524771?redirectedFrom=fulltext#140015804) found a relationship between marital status and the likelihood of developing dementia.  Studying 15,000 adults over the age of 52 for a 14 year period, those who were married had the lowest incidence of developing dementia while those who were divorced had the highest incidence of dementia.  Further, the effect was most pronounced for men.

This adds to a large body of research that has documented the benefits of marriage (health-wise and beyond) and the detrimental effects of divorce.  If you are both willing to do the work, there is hope.  People are capable of making positive changes in their lives and relationships.  If I didn’t find that to be true, I would be in a different line of work.  But as Grandma used to say, “It takes two to tango.”

Marriages are worth fighting for, even if it is hard.

Like the song says, “You better keep her, I think it’s cheaper…”[2]

[1] Don’t you think that is a much more interesting title than “Marital Status and Dementia: Evidence from the Health and Retirement Study”

[2] The reference is, of course, “Makin’ Whoopee”

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40 Consequences of Adultery

SOURCE:  Adapted from an article by David Boehi — Family Life Ministries

If I committed adultery…

  1. My relationship with God would suffer from a break in fellowship.
  2. I would need to seek forgiveness from my Lord.
  3. I would suffer from the emotional consequences of guilt.
  4. I would spend countless hours replaying the failure.
  5. My spouse would suffer the scars of this abuse more deeply than I could begin to describe.
  6. My spouse would spend countless hours in counseling.
  7. My spouse’s recovery would be long and painful.
  8. My spouse’s pain would grieve me deeply and compound my own suffering and shame.
  9. Our marriage relationship would suffer a break in trust, fellowship, and intimacy.
  10. In our marriage, we would be together, yet feel great loneliness.
  11. The reputation of my family would suffer loss.
  12. My children would be deeply disappointed and bewildered.
  13. My grandchildren would not understand.
  14. My friends would be disappointed and would question my integrity.
  15. My employment or job performance would be affected.
  16. My witness among neighbors would become worthless.
  17. My witness to my family would be worthless.
  18. My testimony among my spouse’s family would be damaged.
  19. My service in ministry would be damaged.
  20. My ability to work within the church would be damaged.
  21. I would suffer God’s discipline.
  22. Satan would be thrilled at my failure.
  23. Satan would work overtime to be sure my shame never departed.
  24. My spouse might divorce me.
  25. My children might never speak to me.
  26. Our mutual friends would shy away from us and break fellowship.
  27. I would bring emotional pain to the person with whom I committed adultery.
  28. I would bring reproach upon the person with whom I committed adultery.
  29. If my affair partner is married, that person’s spouse might attempt to bring harm.
  30. My affair partner’s spouse might divorce her.
  31. An unwanted child could be produced.
  32. My part in conception might trigger an abortion, the killing of an innocent child.
  33. Disease might result.
  34. Some might conclude that all Christians are hypocrites.
  35. My business could fail because I couldn’t be trusted.
  36. My leadership among those I have led in the past might also be diminished in impact.
  37. My zeal for ministry would suffer and possibly result in others not continuing in ministry.
  38. My health would suffer.
  39. I might have to start life over again.
  40. This same sin might be visited upon my family for four generations.

It’s a pretty sobering list, isn’t it? What’s even more sobering is that many people will consider these consequences and still proceed in their sin. The fantasy is more important to them than the reality.

The biggest benefit of this list may be in helping us realize the need to set up strict safeguards to ensure that we are faithful in our marriage commitment. If I am convinced of what adultery would do to me and to my family, I will watch my wandering eyes, guard my thought life, and avoid any situations that could put me in harm’s way.

The fantasy is just not worth it.

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Start Over

Source:   Dr.Woodrow Kroll

When you’ve trusted Jesus and walked His way,

When you’ve felt His hand lead you day by day,

But your steps now take you another way   …   START OVER.

When you’ve made your plans and they’ve gone awry,

When you’ve tried your best ’til there’s no more try,

When you’ve failed yourself and you don’t know why …   START OVER.

When you’ve told your friends what you plan to do,

When you’ve trusted them but they’ve not come through,

Now you’re all alone and it’s up to you …   START OVER.

When you’ve failed your kids and they’re grown and gone,

When you’ve done your best but it turned out wrong,

And now your grandchildren have come along …   START OVER.

When you’ve prayed to God so you’ll know His will,

When you’ve prayed and prayed but you don’t know still,

When you want to stop cause you’ve had your fill …   START OVER.

When you think you’re finished and want to quit,

When you’ve bottomed out in life’s deepest pit,

When you’ve tried and tried to get out of it …   START OVER.

When the year’s been long and successes few,

When December comes and you’re feeling blue,

God gives a January just for you …   START OVER.

Starting over means victories won,

Starting over means a race we run,

Starting over means the Lord’s “Well done,”

… so don’t just sit there …   START OVER.