Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group
I am humbled to announce that the Arkansas team based out of Searcy, AR will be starting a new Castimonia meeting in Batesville, AR on Monday, June 7th! Meeting info is listed below:
Monday Nights
7:00PM – 8:30PM
St. Paul’s Episcopal Church
424 E. Main St.
Batesville, AR 72501
Contact: Doug at 281.665.0280
Thank you to all these men in Arkansas doing the Lord’s work to help individuals fight for their sexual purity!
We are grateful and fortunate to have the opportunity to hold our annual Castimonia retreat once again this November after taking 2020 off due to COVID-19. The dates for this year’s retreat will be Friday, November 19 – Sunday, November 21st at the Cat Spring Retreat Center in Cat Spring, TX.
More details will be posted later this Summer as well as the registration link.
Originally posted at: https://www.crossway.org/articles/when-fear-is-sinful/
We all know fear. When you experience fear, your body reacts: you feel the adrenaline release as your heart races, your breathing accelerates, and your muscles tense. Sometimes that can be intensely fun: think of the rush of the roller coaster or the big game. Sometimes it can be terrifying as panic grips you so utterly, you cannot think but only shake, sweat, and fret. Underneath those experiences are common thoughts. Our different fears have common traits, a common DNA.
However, it is important to recognize that there are different sorts of fear. Confusion on this point is deadly. Take, for example, how some Christians see the lack of reverence and awe of God in our churches and seem to think the answer is to make people afraid of God. As if our love for God needs to be tempered by being afraid of him.
Scripture speaks quite differently. Take, for example, Exodus 20, where the people of Israel gather at Mount Sinai:
Now when all the people saw the thunder and the flashes of lightning and the sound of the trumpet and the mountain smoking, the people were afraid and trembled, and they stood far off and said to Moses, “You speak to us, and we will listen; but do not let God speak to us, lest we die.” Moses said to the people, “Do not fear, for God has come to test you, that the fear of him may be before you, that you may not sin.” (Ex. 20:18–20)
Moses here sets out a contrast between being afraid of God and fearing God: those who have the fear of him will not be afraid of him. Yet he uses the same “fear” word for both. Evidently there is a fear of God that is desirable, and there is a fear of God that is not.
Let’s have a look now at the different types of fear of God we meet in Scripture.
The first type of fear of God is condemned by Scripture. I have been tempted to call it “wrong fear,” but there is a sense in which it is quite right for unbelievers to be afraid of God. The holy God is terrible to those who are far from him. Instead, I am calling it “sinful fear,” since it is a fear of God that flows from sin.
This sinful fear of God is the sort of fear James tells us the demons have when they believe and shudder (James 2:19). It is the fear Adam had when he first sinned and hid from God (Gen. 3:10). Sinful fear drives you away from God. This is the fear of the unbeliever who hates God, who fears being exposed as a sinner and so runs from God.
This is the fear of God that it is at odds with love for God. It is the fear rooted in the very heart of sin. Dreading and retreating from God, this fear generates the doubt that rationalizes unbelief. It is the motor for both atheism and idolatry, inspiring people to invent alternative “realities” in place of the living God. Take, for example, the late Christopher Hitchens, one of the “four horsemen” of the early twenty-first-century “New Atheism.” Hitchens preferred to describe himself as an “antitheist” because he was opposed to the very possibility of God’s existence. But this anti-theism, he was clear, was motivated by a fear of God. Asked on Fox News what he thought about the possibility of God’s existence, he replied:
I think it would be rather awful if it was true. If there was a permanent, total, round-the-clock divine supervision and invigilation of everything you did, you would never have a waking or sleeping moment when you weren’t being watched and controlled and supervised by some celestial entity from the moment of your conception to the moment of your death. . . . It would be like living in North Korea.1
Hitchens tragically misunderstood God and so feared God. The experience of Christopher Hitchens shows that this sinful fear that flees from God arises in good part from a misunderstanding of him. The unfaithful servant in Jesus’s parable of the ten minas displays exactly this problem when he unfairly complains to his master, “I was afraid of you, because you are a severe man” (Luke 19:21). He sees nothing of his master’s kindness: in his shortsighted eyes the great man is all stingy severity, and so the servant is simply afraid.
This is the blindness Satan loves to inflict on our understanding of God. Satan would present God as pure threat. For then, when we perceive God that way, we will run from him in fear.
It is the devil’s work to promote a fear of God that makes people afraid of God such that they want to flee from God.
Yet while this fear drives people away from their Maker, it does not always drive them away from religion. Having presented God as harsh and dreadful, this fear gives people the mindset of a reluctant slave who obeys his master not out of any love but purely from fear of the whip. Out of slavish fear, people will perform all manner of duties to appease a God they secretly despise. To all the world they can seem devout, exemplary Christians, if rather lacking in joy.
Another part of this sinful fear is the fear of letting go of sin, or what we might call the dread of holiness. C. S. Lewis explored this idea in The Great Divorce, a story that starts in the grey town (hell). While everyone there is afraid of the dark, few dare step aboard the bus to heaven, because they are even more afraid of the light. While the darkness shrouds nameless horrors, the light is more scary because it exposes them.
When the bus arrives in the bright beauty of the heavenly meadow, one of the spectral souls from hell screams, “I don’t like it. . . . It gives me the pip!”2Then the Solid People—the residents of heaven—arrive, at which, Lewis writes, “two of the ghosts screamed and ran for the bus.”3Their very splendor is terrifying to the shrunken wraiths from hell.
“Go away!” squealed the Ghost. “Go away! Can’t you see I want to be alone?”
“But you need help,” said the Solid One.
“If you have the least trace of decent feeling left,” said the Ghost, “you’ll keep away. I don’t want help. I want to be left alone.”4
The fear, for the ghosts, is their realization that to dwell in heaven they must give up their “dignity” or self-dependence, their misery, their anger, their grumbles. They cannot imagine being without the very things that deform them and keep them from happiness, and they shudder at the prospect of liberation and purification. Their fear is a struggle against joy. It is a fear of the light and a refusal to let go of the darkness.
It is the very richness and energy of the pure life of heaven that is so overwhelming and fearful to the ghosts. They will do almost anything to avoid it. Sinners prefer their darkness and chains to the light and freedom of heaven, and so they dread its holiness.
Sadly, Christians are not immune to this sinful fear. Poor teaching, hard times, and Satan’s accusations can all feed this cringing fear of God. What weed killer can we use? It is the devil’s work to promote a fear of God that makes people afraid of God such that they want to flee from God. The Spirit’s work is the exact opposite: to produce in us a wonderful fear that wins and draws us to God.
Notes:
This article is adapted from What Does It Mean to Fear the Lord? by Michael Reeves.
Michael Reeves (PhD, King’s College, London) is president and professor of theology at Union School of Theology in Bridgend and Oxford, United Kingdom. He is the author of Delighting in the Trinity; Rejoicing in Christ; and The Unquenchable Flame.
By Buddy T Reviewed by David Susman, PhD, Updated on July 10, 2020
If you’re in recovery from a substance use disorder, you already know how much work it took to get there, and you’ll want to do everything possible to avoid having a relapse. It may seem that a relapse is the last thing that could happen to you, but the truth is they are very common for people new to recovery.
It is estimated that up to 80% of those who find long-term sobriety had at least one relapse along the way.1 Some had many before they found lasting recovery. Your intentions may be good, but it takes more than willpower to avoid having a relapse.
Some say the best advice for newcomers to recovery on how to stay sober is simple: “Don’t drink or use and go to meetings.” If that formula works for you, then by all means, do it.
But for most people, staying sober isn’t that straightforward. The more strategies you learn to identify triggers, cope with stress, and manage your new sober life, the easier it is to prevent relapse.
A big part of preventing relapse is understanding your external triggers (people, places, things, and situations that elicit thoughts or cravings associated with substance use) as well as your internal triggers (feelings, thoughts, or emotions associated with substance abuse). Once you identify your biggest risks, you can create a plan to prepare for or avoid them.
Some common triggers may include:
5 Triggers of Relapse and How to Avoid Them
A relapse can sneak up on you, usually because you don’t recognize the warning signs. A relapse begins long before you actually pick up a drink or a drug and involves three phases: emotional relapse, mental relapse, and physical relapse.
Warning signs of relapse include:2
Warning Signs of an Alcohol or Drug Relapse
Depending on the type of dependency, post-acute withdrawal syndrome (PAWS) can last from six months to two years after you stop using, and include a variety of symptoms that range from irritability, sleep troubles, and intermittent anxiety to prolonged depression.
The symptoms involved in PAWS can be a barrier for recovery if you’re not careful. In addition to being able to recognize them, it’s important to know when to seek help.
If PAWS is severe or if you’re experiencing prolonged symptoms, a medical professional can help you work through them and remain in recovery without relapse. Why PAWS Can Be a Barrier to Recovery
It stands to reason that if you quit your drug of choice but continue with your same routine, hanging around the same people and places, and not making any changes in your circumstances, it will be much easier to slip back into your old behaviors and habits.
Some of the immediate changes you will need to make will be obvious—like not hanging around the people that you used with or obtained drugs from. After all, you can’t hang around your drug dealer or old drinking buddies and expect to remain sober for very long.
You may also need to change your route to work or home in order to avoid any triggers, or people, places, or things that make you want to use drugs or drink again.5 Triggers of Relapse and How to Avoid Them
Now that you are sober, you may have discovered that your past relationships were not only unhealthy but downright toxic. It’s not just your drinking buddies and drug dealers who can get you into trouble—sometimes those who are closest to you can contribute to a relapse.
For example, you may have developed a co-dependent relationship, or a family member, friend, or employer may have been enabling you without even knowing it.
Research shows that if you maintain these types of toxic relationships, your chances of relapsing are greater.3 To avoid relapse and remain sober, it’s important to develop healthy relationships.
If you find it difficult to make new, sober friends, try joining a support group. Spending more time with supportive loved ones and planning activities for the entire family can also help you develop a more healthy lifestyle and avoid situations in which you would normally drink or use drugs.Developing Healthy Relationships in Recovery
Having a chaotic or disorganized lifestyle can also hinder your recovery. It’s important to develop a structured daily and weekly schedule and stick to it. That structured schedule will help you achieve other goals in your life, whether short-term like being on time for work or long-term like going back to school and changing careers.
Staying sober is a high priority, but developing and pursuing other goals can help you maintain that sobriety. How to Make Your Health Goals S.M.A.R.T.
Chronically misusing drugs and/or alcohol can take a major toll on your physical and emotional health, and now that you’re in recovery, you’ll want to prioritize self-care and ensure you have the fortitude to remain sober.
Exercise Can Help With Avoiding an Addiction Relapse
People in recovery from a substance use disorder frequently have problems meeting work-related responsibilities, maintaining employment, and managing money. If you were active in your addiction for a period of time, chances are you have developed financial problems.
Financial troubles and problems finding and keeping employment are major triggers for relapse5—but it is possible to take baby steps and get your finances in order. Just keep in mind that your improvements won’t happen overnight.
Consider reaching out to a vocational rehabilitation counselor and career coach to help you revise your resume, practice job interview skills, and locate jobs that match your skills and experience.
Once you do return to work, it’s important to create a budget and take steps to safeguard yourself as work stress can be a relapse trigger. Managing Your Money Can Benefit Your Recovery
Many people who misuse alcohol or drugs have trouble dealing with anger. If left unchecked, anger can have a negative impact on your health and your lasting sobriety.
Anger is a normal and natural emotion, but how you deal with it will make a difference in maintaining your recovery.
For many people with a substance use disorder, it’s simply a matter of never having learned the appropriate way to manage your anger. Talk to your therapist, other healthcare provider, or sponsor about how to deal with your anger in ways that won’t cause you to hurt yourself or others or, importantly, pick up a drink or drug. Dealing With Anger in a Healthy Way Is Crucial
Most people who make their way into recovery have left a lot of pain and suffering in their wake. Feeling guilty or shameful for a past behavior or action during active addiction is pretty natural and healthy.
Shame is described as having negative beliefs about yourself and your self-worth. Guilt is having negative feelings about your past behavior. People in recovery can experience a lot of shame simply for having become addicted in the first place.6
If these emotions become excessive, however, they can hold you back from recovery. If you are trying to maintain a sober lifestyle, those feelings can become toxic and cause you to relapse if you do not deal with them properly.
Most who find recovery also find that they have emotionally damaged friends and loved ones and have many regrets about their past decisions. To avoid relapse and stay sober, it’s important that you take the necessary steps to learn from your past mistakes and begin to live life more responsibly. Step 9 in A.A. Is Making Amends
One common mistake for those who are new to alcohol and drug recovery is substituting a new addiction of compulsive behaviors for their old ones.7 People new to recovery can find themselves approaching their new diet, exercise program, job, and even participation in support groups with a compulsion that echoes addiction.
Although their new activities are healthy and productive, they can be a stumbling block to lasting recovery if they become a transfer addiction to fill the void left by the original addiction. The secret is to find a healthy balance and to gain control over everything in your life and all of your choices.
The key is to learn that you have choices and that you can maintain control. If any area of your life is out of control, it will not help you maintain lasting sobriety. To Stay Sober, It’s Best to Avoid All Compulsive Behaviors
If you’re involved in a 12-step program, you likely already know the importance of milestones. In these programs, it’s customary to award plastic chips as you progress to the year-mark at which time you receive a bronze coin.
Acknowledging and celebrating the hard work of recovery is helpful for keeping you motivated and reminding you why you took this brave step toward sobriety in the first place. Just be sure that your rewards don’t involved drugs or alcohol. Instead, focus on things, experiences, and activities that will support your new, healthy lifestyle.
If you or a loved one are struggling with substance use or addiction, contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline at 1-800-662-4357 for information on support and treatment facilities in your area.
For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database.
SOURCE: Based on MacArthur Study Bible notes- Eph. 6:10-18
A true believer having a Spirit-controlled life can be sure to be in a spiritual war. Ultimately, Satan’s power over Christians is already broken, and the war is won through the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ. However, in life on earth, battles of temptation go on regularly. The Lord’s power, the strength of His Spirit, and the force of biblical truth are required for victory.
The armor should be the sustained life-long attire. Satan’s deception and schemes are carried out by his demons and are highly structured for destructive purposes. Satan wants us to distrust God, forsake obedience, have doctrinal confusion, falsehood, be hindered in service, be divided, serve in the flesh, live hypocritically, be worldly, and reject biblical obedience in any way.
Belt – Pulls spiritual loose-ends together in truth – tucks away anything that hinders – Self-discipline in devotion to victory;
Breastplate – The Christian’s chief protection against Satan and his schemes. As believers faithfully live in obedience to and in communion with Jesus Christ, His own Righteousness produces in them the practical, daily righteousness that becomes their spiritual breastplate. Lack of holiness leaves them vulnerable to Satan;
Shoes – It is knowing that through Christ, believers are at peace with God, and He is on their side – confidence of Divine support allowing the believer to stand firm.
Shield – Basic trust in God – the necessary, continual trust – trust in God’s Word and Promise – all sin comes when the victim falls to Satan’s lies and promises of pleasure, rejecting the choice of obedience and blessing;
Helmet – Not attaining salvation, but protection against Satan’s weapons of doubt and discouragement to destroy a believer’s assurance – salvation is eternally protected, and one need not fear its loss.
Sword – God’s Word – the only needed weapon – infinitely more powerful than any of Satan’s. Used defensively to fend off Satan’s attacks, and offensively to destroy his strategies.
This site is intended for individuals who struggle with maintaining sexual purity. This information is posted for individuals at various stages in their recovery, year 1 to year 30+; what applies to some, may not apply others. Spouses are encouraged to read this blog with the caveat that they may not agree with, understand, or know the reason for some items posted. As always, take what you like and leave the rest.
