CASTIMONIA

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How Addicted Are They? Levels of Porn Addiction

originally posted at: https://www.covenanteyes.com/blog/how-addicted-are-they-levels-of-porn-addiction/

Have you ever noticed how many different approaches there are to overcoming porn? Even in closely connected Christian circles, we find completely different—even contradicting—recovery programs and advice.

There are many reasons for the differences, and some have to do with deeply held convictions about how God works to change people. However, I believe one often-overlooked reason for the different approaches to quitting porn is that different people experience different levels of bondage to porn.

Not everyone who watches porn should be considered “addicted.” The occasional temptation to browse porn is very different from a constant, habitual struggle. So it stands to reason that different kinds of temptation require different kinds of accountability.

Jim Cress, a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, says, “Things that were formed in intensity in my life will be changed through intensity in my recovery.” The road to recovery will look very different depending on the individual’s struggle. As an ally for someone in the fight against porn, understanding what kind of grip porn has on them will greatly enhance your ability to help them.

The Problematic Porn Usage Scale

Over the past few decades, as more psychologists and sociologists have taken interest in the effects of porn, they’ve tried to find ways to categorize the way people use it.

One group of researchers created the Problematic Pornography Consumption Scale (PPCS). It uses six different factors to help determine the point at which porn becomes “problematic.”1

  • Salience—How big of a role does porn play in this person’s life?
  • Mood Modification—Do they use porn to self-soothe when they’re feeling stress or other emotional difficulties?
  • Conflict—Do they keep watching porn despite problems it causes in their life?
  • Tolerance—Do they need to keep increasing the amount or extremity of porn they watch to achieve the same effect?
  • Relapse—How quickly do they revert to watching porn after resolving to stop?
  • Withdrawal—What withdrawal symptoms do they experience when trying to quit porn?

Of course, at Covenant Eyes we believe that any amount of porn is problematic and should be avoided. The problem with the PPCS is that it assumes there’s an OK amount of porn to watch—essentially, how much porn can you get away with?

Related: Why is Porn So Addictive? 4 Reasons It’s Tough to Resist

Still, the concept of a scale for “how bad is it” is very helpful, both for those trying to quit porn and for their allies. Where someone is at in these six areas make a huge difference in their battle against porn.

Dr. Kevin Skinner’s 7 Levels of Pornography Addiction

Dr. Kevin Skinner takes a different, and I believe more helpful, approach. He takes the same sorts of factors into account, but he sees addiction to porn as a spectrum. The higher someone’s level of addiction, the more radical measures they’ll need to take to recover.

In chapter two of his book, Treating Pornography Addiction: The Essential Tools for Recovery, Dr. Skinner describes seven levels of addiction to pornography.

Let’s take a look.

Level 1: Typical Curiosity

Dr. Skinner calls this the “mildest form of involvement with pornography a person can have.” This person has only seen porn a handful of times at most. What they did see was probably by accident, and they didn’t keep watching.

Level 2: Growing Curiosity

“The challenge at this level is that there is a growing curiosity,” says Dr. Skinner. This person still has spent little time watching porn, but what they’ve seen has sparked curiosity. He adds, “The time spent thinking about or viewing pornography is still relatively limited, but the growing interest can escalate quickly.”

Level 3: Borderline Compulsive

At this level, someone begins to show signs of addiction. They feel they can control their behavior but probably give in to urges to watch porn about once a month.

Dr. Skinner adds, “Fantasizing is also a part of the battle at level three. As their mind tries to avoid thinking about pornography, they still find themselves fantasizing about viewing it…it is common for individuals at level three to start spending extra time and energy fighting off thoughts of pornography and the desire to view it.”

Level 4: Increasing Impact on Life

Moving past level three, we see porn beginning to affect other areas of life. “It may be impacting their ability to focus on tasks for work, school, family life, or relationships,” explains Dr. Skinner. This is generally a person who has struggled with porn for many years.

With this level, you also find more fantasizing than at level three. He goes on, “They are viewing pornography a few times each month and are looking at more hard-core types of pornography.”

Another common feature of level four is increased withdrawal symptoms when they resist the urge to look at porn. For more, see 10 Symptoms of Porn Addiction Withdrawal (And How to Manage Them).

(At levels three and four, the ally relationship becomes increasingly important. It’s not enough to have email reports; you need to have regular check-ins and accountability meetings).

Level 5: Pornography in Daily Life

The difference with level five is, “There isn’t a day that goes by when they don’t think about looking at pornography or give in and look at it.” At this point, porn has taken a firm grip on the individual, and it has started to dictate other parts of their life.

Withdrawal symptoms are more intense and difficult to manage. At level five, someone can usually hold back from porn for only a few days before giving in again.

Level 6: Pornography Dominates Life

Pornography has now moved from the periphery of daily life to a central place. Dr. Skinner says, “At level six, compulsive behaviors and actions are common. Individuals at this level are likely to feel out of control.” Additionally, “There is also a good chance this level of involvement with pornography has created many situations where a person has had to lie to cover up [their] activities.”

By the time someone gets to level six, they’ve made some serious sacrifices to porn. At Covenant Eyes, we’ve spoken with people who’ve lost marriages, high-paying jobs, and friendships, and some have even gone to prison.

 Level 7: Out of Control

At level seven, porn has become a ticking time bomb in an individual’s life, if it hasn’t already exploded. Even serious consequences may fail to deter this person.

Their life is controlled by porn. The types of pornography they consumed have likely become very extreme or even illegal. In many cases, they move on from pornography to act out in other sexual behaviors.

Related: How Long Does It Take to Recover From Porn Addiction.

Accountability for Different Levels of Addiction

When you agree to be an ally for someone, you should try to understand their level of involvement with porn. Is this someone at level one or two who wants to avoid temptation? Have they moved on to level 3 and 4 and are struggling with compulsive desires to watch porn? Has porn gained a more consuming hold on their life, so that temptation is a daily struggle?

At levels one and two, simply installing accountability software like Covenant Eyes on your devices will likely deter porn-watching. However, the higher the level of addiction, the more frequently they will need accountability check-ins.

For someone who has reached levels six or seven, quitting porn will require consistent, dedicated effort, and the willingness to take extreme measures. Higher levels of addiction will especially benefit from qualified counseling or even an intensive treatment program.

For more, see How to Quit Porn: 6 Essential Steps.

5 Basic Questions to Help Determine if Someone Is Addicted to Porn

Dr. Peter Kleponis is a Certified Sex Addiction Therapist and an expert in the area of porn addiction recovery. He has five simple assessment questions to ask:

  1. Are you preoccupied with porn and sex? Do you think about it a lot, even when you’re not viewing it?
  2. Do you use porn to escape negative feelings? I.e., do you turn to porn when you’re sad, lonely, or depressed?
  3. Have you developed a tolerance for porn? (Has your porn increased, even in the amount of porn you watch, or the kinds of porn you watch—violence, BDSB, etc.)
  4. Are you dependent on porn? Does it feel like you need porn just to deal with your normal responsibilities?
  5. Do you take great risks to view porn? I.e., have you viewed porn at work or in a public place? Have you continued looking at porn despite the consequences?

For more, see Help For Porn Addicts: Finding the Right Treatment.

Beáta Bőthe, István Tóth-Király, Ágnes Zsila, Mark Griffiths, Zsolt Demetrovics, Orosz Gábor, “The Development of the Problematic Pornography Consumption Scale (PPCS),” The Journal of Sex Research 55 (2017). 10.1080/00224499.2017.1291798.

Kevin Skinner, Treating Pornography Addiction (GrowthClimate, Inc: Provo, 2017), 24-30.

Keith Rose

Keith Rose holds a Master of Divinity degree and BA in Sacred Music. Keith worked with the Covenant Eyes Member Care Team for 15 years. He has also served as a Bible teacher, pastoral assistant, music director, and elder at his local church. He’s now the editor of the Covenant Eyes blog and the author of Allied: Fighting Porn With Accountability, Faith, and Friends. He lives in the mountains of North Carolina with his wife Ruby and their children. Contact Keith with blog inquiries.

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NEW STEP GROUP – Starting in May

Our founder, Jorge, will be leading his eighth step study group starting in May.

The group lasts for about 12 months and you will go through all the steps including the pre-step and post-step work in the Castimonia book. 

They will meet every week on Saturday mornings from 8:00am to 9:55am before the 10am Saturday Castimonia meeting in Katy. There is no cost to join the group but you must purchase a copy of the Castimonia book.  Out of town guests will be able to use Zoom to join the group if they cannot attend in person. Houston-area members will need to attend in person.

This group takes a strong, long term commitment and is great for those ready to work the steps and have the Lord change their lives.

Please have any interested individuals contact Jorge at jorge@castimonia.org.

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Stereotypes: Self-worth Killers

Originally posted at: https://sexuallypuremen.beehiiv.com/p/stereotypes-self-worth-killers

The following is an article written by a dear friend and colleague Steve Lynott. He is a brilliant individual and always produces thought-provoking content. Here he explains the danger of allowing negative noise run amok in our heads.

Life is a journey marked by both triumphs and trials — moments of deep joy and seasons of profound struggle. Across that journey, one of the most important skills we can develop is the ability to grow, adapt, and evolve in the face of changing circumstances. Yet one of the greatest barriers to that growth is often invisible: the stories we carry about ourselves.

These stories — shaped by culture, family, religion, peers, and personal experience — define what we believe is possible. They influence how we interpret success and failure, how we respond to challenges, and how we envision our future. Sometimes these narratives empower us. But often, they limit us, quietly shaping our choices and expectations in ways we don’t even notice.

Psychologists refer to this phenomenon as stereotype embodiment: the process by which we internalize societal beliefs about who we are and then unconsciously live according to them (Levy, 2009). These beliefs can either keep us stuck or propel us forward. Recognizing and reshaping them is a crucial step in building resilience, navigating adversity, and living with greater purpose and freedom.

Dr. Eddie Capparucci, a leading voice in the field of emotional and behavioral healing, often interrupts clients when they introduce themselves as “addicts.” Instead, he invites them to use a different language: “You may no longer refer to yourself that way — you are a beloved child of God, a prince of the King.” This small but profound shift illustrates the critical importance of how we define ourselves and the narratives we internalize. Language is not merely descriptive; it shapes identity, influences self-worth, and either reinforces or dismantles shame. For many who are awakening from the trance states of addiction or destructive habits, self-loathing becomes a deeply ingrained reflex. Stereotypes such as “I’m broken,” “I’m unworthy,” or “I’ll never change” entrench that shame, often sabotaging the possibility of genuine healing and growth. Reframing identity — seeing oneself as worthy, valued, and capable — is therefore not just an act of self-compassion; it is a foundational step in the journey from shame to love, and from limitation to transformation.

Stereotype Embodiment: How Beliefs Become Destiny

Stereotype embodiment theory, developed by psychologist Becca Levy and others, explains how societal messages about groups — whether about gender, age, intelligence, success, or ability — become deeply woven into our sense of self. Once internalized, these stereotypes shape how we think, feel, act, and even how our bodies function. They operate through three interconnected pathways:

Psychological Pathway – The beliefs we hold shape our internal dialogue and self-perception. If we internalize the stereotype that “people like me never succeed” or “I’m not good with change,” we begin to act as if those statements are true. We interpret setbacks as confirmation of our limitations rather than opportunities for growth. This self-concept shapes how much effort we invest in new challenges and how we respond when things go wrong.

Behavioral Pathway – Beliefs drive behavior. Someone who views struggle as evidence of inadequacy might withdraw, give up, or stop trying altogether. In contrast, a person who believes they are capable of learning and adapting is more likely to take proactive steps — seeking mentorship, practicing new skills, or pursuing opportunities for growth — even in the face of setbacks.

Physiological Pathway – The power of beliefs extends beyond thoughts and actions. They also shape our biology. Internalized stereotypes can trigger chronic stress, elevate cortisol, weaken the immune system, and even change how the brain functions. Over time, these physiological effects accumulate, influencing everything from cognitive health to cardiovascular resilience (Levy et al., 2002; Levy et al., 2016).

Lessons from Aging: A Case Study in Belief and Biology

Some of the clearest evidence of stereotype embodiment comes from research on ageing. For decades, scientists have explored how our attitudes toward getting older shape our physical and mental well-being — and the results are striking.

In one landmark study, Levy and colleagues (2002) found that people with positive perceptions of ageing lived an average of 7.5 years longer than those with negative views, even after controlling for income, health status, and social factors. Optimistic beliefs predicted better memory, lower cardiovascular risk, and reduced incidence of dementia decades later (Levy et al., 2009; Levy et al., 2016).

The mechanism is clear: people who view ageing as a period of opportunity tend to stay active, pursue meaningful goals, and engage socially. They also exhibit lower cortisol levels and less inflammation, biological changes that protect the brain and body. Those who see ageing as inevitable decline, however, are more likely to withdraw, neglect their health, and experience chronic stress — creating a self-fulfilling cycle of deterioration.

This same dynamic operates in many areas of life. Whether we are pursuing a new career, healing from loss, rebuilding relationships, or striving to become a more grounded, compassionate version of ourselves, the stories we believe about our potential become powerful determinants of what we achieve.

Rewriting Limiting Narratives

The encouraging truth is that these internalized stories are not permanent. They can be questioned, challenged, and rewritten — and when they are, the results ripple outward into every aspect of life.

The process begins with awareness: noticing the assumptions and stereotypes that shape our self-concept. These might include beliefs like “I’m too old to change careers,” “I’m not a leader,” or “I always fall apart under pressure.” Many of these narratives are inherited — passed down from family, culture, or past experiences — rather than consciously chosen.

These limiting narratives also show up powerfully in the context of overcoming deeply ingrained patterns such as alcohol or drug dependence, compulsive pornography use, or obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). People navigating these challenges often internalize stereotypes like:

  •   “Once an addict, always an addict.”
  •   “I’m too damaged to ever have a healthy relationship.”
  •   “People with OCD are just ‘crazy’ — I’ll never be normal.”
  •   “I’ll never be able to live without this coping mechanism.”

Each of these beliefs, when internalized, functions like a script — shaping behavior, emotional responses, and even physiological stress patterns. Someone who believes they are destined to relapse might approach change half-heartedly or give up after one setback. A person convinced they are “broken” because of OCD might avoid therapy or resist trying new coping strategies. These narratives don’t simply reflect a struggle — they reinforce and perpetuate it.

The next step is reframing. This involves challenging the validity of limiting beliefs and replacing them with fuller, more empowering truths. For example:

  • “Once an addict, always an addict” can become “I have struggled in the past, but I have the capacity to learn, heal, and grow.”
  • “I’m broken because of my OCD” might become “My mind works differently, but I can learn tools to manage it and live a fulfilling life.”
  • “I’ll always need this behavior to cope” could shift to “I can develop healthier ways to meet my needs and build resilience.”

Finally, rewriting the story requires integration: aligning our daily choices with the new narrative. This may mean pursuing therapy, seeking accountability, practicing self-compassion, developing new habits, or surrounding ourselves with people who reinforce our growth-oriented identity. Over time, each decision we make in alignment with the new story strengthens that identity — until it becomes not just what we believe, but who we are.

Conclusion

The stories we internalize shape the way we interpret our lives, respond to challenges, and envision our future. They influence our motivation, our health, our relationships, and even our longevity. As research on stereotype embodiment and aging demonstrates, beliefs are not just reflections of reality, they are active forces that create it.

Learning to recognize and rewrite these stories is one of the most important skills for navigating life’s inevitable ups and downs. When we change the way we see ourselves, we change how we act. When we change how we act, we change the outcomes we experience. And when we change those outcomes, we open the door to growth, resilience, and a deeper sense of purpose — no matter what season of life we’re in.

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How to Quit Video Game, Pornography & Social Media Addiction | Dr. Andrew Huberman

In this clip, Dr. Andrew Huberman discusses how to quit video games, pornography, and social media addictions. He discusses how these addictions develop practically and neurochemically, particularly the role of dopamine.

Dr. Andrew Huberman is a tenured professor of neurobiology and ophthalmology at Stanford University School of Medicine and host of the Huberman Lab podcast.

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New Castimonia Meeting in Alaska – Starting March 10th

I am humbled to announce that we will officially be starting a new Castimonia meeting on Tuesday nights at Bethel Church on Tuesday, March 10th!  This is exactly how God’s ministry should grow.  A member that attended the Step Group in the Katy, TX and was brave enough to take it to his location answering, “Lord send me!”  I am very grateful for this man’s bravery and for his faithfulness to the Lord.

Tuesday Nights
7:00pm – 8:30pm
Bethel Church, Room 301
1310 Farmers Loop Rd
Fairbanks, AK 99709
Starting on March 10, 2026

Praise be to God, the father of our Lord Jesus Christ, for all He has done to grow His ministry!