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Why Is Porn Addictive?

Originally posted at: https://www.covenanteyes.com/blog/why-is-porn-addictive

By Keith Rose

Why do so many people have a difficult time quitting porn? At Covenant Eyes, we hear from thousands of people—men and women, married and single, young and old, who consider themselves addicted.

What causes this addiction? In brief, pornography activates pleasureful chemicals in the brain: dopamine, norepinephrine, oxytocin, vasopressin, serotonin, and endorphins. For some, repeated exposure can lead to addiction.

Here’s what you need to know about pornography addiction, why it’s considered controversial, and what causes it.

Is It Really Addictive?

In 2004, psychologist Dr. Judith Reisman testified before the United States Senate that porn is an “erototoxin.”1 By this, she meant that porn is a sexually poisonous substance—addictive, toxic, and deadly. That’s strong testimony to the negative impact porn can have on people’s lives. Many other experts have taken up the warning about pornography addiction.

Not everyone agrees with Dr. Reisman’s assessment. In fact, the medical community does not currently recognize the diagnosis of pornography addiction.  Despite this, most people now believe porn addiction is real. And even many skeptics acknowledge that pornography can have dangerous consequences.2 “Problematic porn consumption” is the study of out-of-control porn habits.

Pornography statistics indicate that watching pornography is a problem for significant numbers of people. Here are some examples of what this looks like, shared by our members and readers: 

“I’ve dug a HUGE hole for myself with this masturbation problem and pornography addiction. It’s affecting my concentration and, most importantly, my spiritual life.”

“I need help to quit porn, I tried many times and all failed.”

“I am married and have struggled with lust for as long as I can remember and crave porn like a drug addict. I watch it while masturbating or shortly thereafter and feel filthy afterwards, but I keep going back and back…hardest thing in the world to quit.”

How Many People Are Addicted To Porn?

Barna has published some of the best data on pornography viewing in the United States. According to their latest research, over 61% of people consume pornography to some degree.2

And although the porn addiction diagnosis isn’t recognized by the medical community, most people believe it’s possible to become addicted.3 according to one 2019 study, up to 11% of men and 3% of women surveyed self-identified as porn addicts.4

The Main Reason Porn Is Addictive

What’s the main reason that people struggle to stop watching porn. It comes down to the brain’s response to sexual imagery combined with the unique opportunities of modern technology. Author Sam Black explains the “neuro-cocktail” of chemicals activated in the brain by pornography.5

  • Dopamine is a chemical that sharpens your focus and gives a sense of craving. It creates the “gotta-have-it” sensation.
  • Norepinephrine creates alertness and focus. It is the brain’s version of adrenaline. It tells the brain, “Something is about to happen, and we need to get ready for it.”
  • Oxytocin and vasopressin help to lay down the long-term memories for the cells. They “bind” a person’s memories to the object that gave him or her sexual pleasure.
  • Endorphins are natural opiates that create a “high,” a wave of pleasure over the whole body.
  • After sexual release, serotonin levels also change, bringing a sense of calm and relaxation.

This is how porn affects the brain. These chemicals all occur naturally with any kind of sexual arousal. But digital pornography offers something highly unnatural that our brains weren’t designed to handle: easy access and endless novelty. It’s what neuroscientist Dr. Donald Hilton calls a “supranormal stimulus.”6

The Triple-A Engine

Psychologist Dr. Alvin Cooper identified the “triple-A engine” of internet pornography that drives addiction. Online porn is accessible, affordable, and anonymous.7

These factors make it very easy for anyone to slip into a porn-watching habit. There’s a low barrier to entry—anyone can find it, anyone can afford it, and nobody has to know about it. The triple-A engine alone could be enough to trap someone in a vicious porn cycle.

The Triple Hook

Dr. Donald Hilton gives a more technical look at how this causes porn addiction. He says:

“[P]ornography is a triple hook, consisting of cortical hypofrontality, dopaminergic downgrading, and oxytocin/vasopressin bonding. Each of these hooks is powerful, and they are synergistic.8

Put more simply, porn causes three problems: brain shrinkage, cravings, and chemical bonding. Working together, they create an addictive impulse to look at porn. Let’s briefly look at each.

Brain Shrinkage (Cortical Hypofrontality)

What neuroscientists call “cortical hypofrontality” is a kind of brain shrinkage. Cambridge researcher Dr. Valerie Voon found that the brains of porn addicts look a lot like the brains of drug addicts, both displaying similar damage to the frontal lobe.9

What exactly is shrinking? Specifically, it’s the part of your brain that makes rational decisions. It’s the part of the brain that puts the brakes on things that feel good but are actually harmful.

That means the more porn you watch, the harder it is to make rational decisions regarding porn.

Cravings (Dopaminergic Downgrading)

We already noted that dopamine is the chemical in our brains that makes us want things. It’s important because it fuels any kind of motivation—whether for food, sex, or success. When the dopamine production system is hijacked, it can result in cravings.

The unlimited variety of porn causes unnatural surges in dopamine that can overwhelm the brain. When this happens, the dopamine receptors are desensitized. The same things that used to bring pleasure are no longer satisfying—often leading to riskier and riskier behaviors.

Chemical Bonding (Oxytocin/Vasopressin Bonding)

When oxytocin and vasopressin are released in sex, they create a deep biological “bond” between the partners. When someone looks at porn, these chemicals form a bond with the pixels on the screen. The more porn is viewed, the stronger the bond.

Psychologist and addiction expert Dr. William Struthers writes in his book, Wired for Intimacy:

“Like a path is created in the woods with each successive hiker, so do the neural paths set the course for the next time an erotic image is viewed. Over time these neural paths become wider as they are repeatedly traveled with each exposure to pornography. They become the automatic pathway through which interactions with women are routed. The neural circuitry anchors this process solidly in the brain.“10

Together, this combination of chemicals in the brain makes porn an intoxicating experience and keeps you going back for more.

Why Some People Are More Susceptible to Porn Addiction

Addiction is never simple, and there are often many factors involved. But several factors make some people more susceptible than others to addiction.

1. Early Exposure

Early exposure is one of the most significant determiners of porn addiction. Tragically, children are being exposed to porn at an early age, often before puberty, when their brains are in a highly impressionable stage of development. Author and speaker John Fort writes:

“The sad reality for nearly every adult who struggles with porn is that their compulsive porn use started in childhood. In the more than two decades I have been working with hundreds of men and women trying to overcome pornography addiction, I have met only one who did not first start using pornography as a child.”

Research shows 50% of men and 10% of women who are exposed to pornography as children will develop an addiction.11 One study found the average age of first exposure is eleven years old! This tells us an increasing number of people are being exposed at very young ages, setting the stage for a lifelong addiction.12 

2. Trauma

Licensed mental health counselor Jay Stringer says that people who have experienced trauma or abuse are more likely to be addicted to porn. Additionally, those who suffer from other trauma or who experience deep shame have a greater likelihood of addiction. And this often plays a role in the third factor below.

3. Attachment Wounds

Neglect and loneliness can likewise leave people emotionally needy and vulnerable to the false intimacy promised by porn. Dr. Gregory Popkack is an expert in attachment theory and its implications for pornography addiction. He argues that the root cause of unwanted porn use and addiction can be found in attachment wounds:

“The degree to which a person has a hard time avoiding pornography, or the degree to which a person has that compulsive relationship with pornography… tends to be the degree to which they are experiencing deeper attachment wounds.”

Understanding Secure Attachments

Before we can understand “attachment wounds,” we need to know what healthy attachment looks like. Dr. Popcak explains:

“The degree to which a parent consistently, generous, and even cheerfully responds to their child’s needs teaches the child, ‘Oh, I can turn to this person to get my needs met.’”

There, attachment has to do with where you turn to meet your needs. A secure attachment to a primary caregiver shapes the way the child sees the world and relationships. It makes them trusting and teaches them to see human connection as a good thing.

Understanding Attachment Wounds

So what are attachment wounds?

First, if your parents make you work to have your needs recognized, if you feel from a young age that you have to prove the legitimacy of your needs, then you develop attachment wounds, also known as “insecure attachments.” Dr. Popcak says:

“[Insecure attachments] set you up in adult relationships to find people who can’t really love you the way you want to be loved… ‘If I can just push the right button and pull the right lever, I can get that person to be loving in the way I want them to be.’”

These insecure attachment styles develop when parents neglect emotional needs. Although physical needs may be met, emotional needs are suppressed. The focus is on outward achievement. Dr. Popcak continues:

“People with insecure attachments don’t have the neural framework for intimate relationships.”

They find themselves unable to enjoy deep and meaningful relationship intimacy. This makes them extremely vulnerable to pornography addiction. (Learn more in our podcast with Dr. Popcak).

These traits do not describe every porn addict. But someone who has one or more of these characteristics is much more vulnerable to porn addiction. Not only does this help us understand the causes of porn addiction, but understanding what makes people vulnerable can be a helpful tool in the recovery process.

So, Am I Addicted to Porn?

In their book The Porn Trap, sex therapists Wendy and Larry Maltz point to three key indicators of porn addiction:

  1. Do you crave porn intensely and persistently?
  2. Do you find you can’t control your urges to look at porn and fail when you try to stop?
  3. Do you continue looking at porn despite facing negative consequences?13

If you can relate to these feelings about porn, you may be dealing with an addiction. For a more in-depth assessment, check out our article, “Am I Addicted to Porn?” Once you recognize the problem, you can move on to the next question.

Is It Possible to Break Free From Addiction?

The good news is that porn addiction can be beaten. At Covenant Eyes, we hear stories every day of those who overcome porn. I recommend starting here: How to Stop Watching Porn. You may also find it helpful to seek out a counselor for porn addiction.

References

1 Judith Reisman, “The Science Behind Pornography Addiction,” U.S. Senate Committee on Commerce, Science, & Transportation, November 18, 2004.

2 Pure Desire Ministries, Beyond The Porn Phenomenon: Ventura CA: Barna Broup, 2024, 21.

3 Beyond the Porn Phenomenon, 36.

4 Joshua B. Grubbs, Shane W. Kraus, & Samuel L. Perry, “Self-reported addiction to pornography in a nationally representative sample: The roles of use habits, religiousness, and moral incongruence,” Journal of behavioral addictions, 8 (2019): 88–93. https://doi.org/10.1556/2006.7.2018.134

5 Sam Black, The Porn Circuit (Owosso: Covenant Eyes, 2013). https://learn.covenanteyes.com/porn-circuit/  

6 Donald Hilton Jr., “Pornography addiction – a supranormal stimulus considered in the context of neuroplasticity,” Socioaffective neuroscience & psychology 3 (2013). https://doi.org/10.3402/snp.v3i0.20767

7 Al Cooper, “Cybersex and sexual compulsivity: The dark side of the force,” Sexual Addiction & Compulsivity, 7:1-2 (2000): 1-3. DOI: 10.1080/10720160008400204

8 Donald Hilton Jr., “How Pornography & Drugs Changes Your Brain,” Salvo (2010), accessed August 23, 2021. https://salvomag.com/article/salvo13/slave-master

9 Valerie Voon, Thomas B Mole, Paula Banca, Laura Porter, Laurel Morris, Simon Mitchell, Tatyana R Lapa, Judy Karr, Neil A Harrison, Marc N Potenza, & Michael Irvine, “Neural correlates of sexual cue reactivity in individuals with and without compulsive sexual behaviours,” PloS one 9 (2014): doi:10.1371/journal.pone.0102419.

10 William Struthers, Wired for Intimacy: How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain (Downers Grove: IVP Books, 2009), 85.

11  Wendy and Larry Maltz, The Porn Trap: The Essential Guide to Overcoming Problems Caused by Pornography, 44.

12 Robert Weiss, “The Prevalence of Porn,” PsychCentral, accessed August 23, 2021.  https://psychcentral.com/blog/sex/2013/05/the-prevalence-of-porn#1

13 The Porn Trap, 92.

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A Supportive Resource for Wives Navigating Betrayal Trauma

With care and respect for each family’s journey, we wanted to share a resource that may be supportive for some wives during this season.

Lisa Archinal is a trauma-informed coach who works specifically with women healing from betrayal trauma. Her work focuses on emotional stabilization, navigating trauma triggers, preparation for disclosure, and helping women rebuild safety, clarity, and self-trust after discovery.

Lisa is APSATS-trained and works under the clinical supervision of Dr. Jake Porter, integrating best practices for betrayal trauma recovery. She brings both professional training and lived understanding to her work.

At this time, Lisa is opening space for a limited number of women and is offering free or reduced-rate coaching for ministry families who may need additional support. There is no obligation – women are invited to reach out, ask questions, and discern for themselves whether coaching feels like a good fit.

If interested, wives are welcome to connect directly for more information. Lisa can be reached at lisa@ourrelentlesspursuit.com.–

Lisa Archinal

Founder, Our Relentless Pursuit

Certified Professional Life Coach
APSATS Trainee
Certified Coach with Daring Ventures
Podcast: Emotional Health for Christian WomenInstagram

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Castimonia Purity Podcast Episode 132: Interview with Rick Reynolds

Today on the Purity Podcast, Chris is interviewing Rick Reynolds, LCSW, founder and president of AffairRecovery.com. Rick brings more than three decades of clinical experience helping individuals and couples heal from the devastation of infidelity, along with the weight and credibility of his own story of betrayal and restoration that began in 1984. As the pioneer behind the first anonymous, online group recovery programs for affair recovery, Rick has counseled thousands of couples and guided many more through structured, hope-filled pathways toward healing. His work is marked not by shame or blame, but by honesty, accountability, vulnerability, and a deep belief that real transformation is possible even after profound relational trauma.
Key Resources:

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Words Mean Things

originally posted at: https://sexuallypuremen.beehiiv.com/p/words-mean-things-5af8

By Dr. Eddie Capparucci

It breaks my heart when I sit across from couples whose healing journey has already been made more difficult—not only because of the deep wound of betrayal, but because of the careless words spoken by those they trusted to help them.

Over the years, I have listened to betrayed partners and struggling spouses repeat statements they have heard from therapists, coaches, or group leaders. Words like:

  • “He is the worst sex addict I have ever encountered.”
  • “I can tell by what he said that he loved his affair partner deeply.”
  • “These men never get better.”
  • “You will have to worry about his relapsing for the rest of your marriage.”
  • “If I was you, I would never trust him again.”
  • “You will never know if he is really telling the truth.”

Can you imagine hearing these words when your world is already in pieces? Instead of offering hope and direction, such statements slam the door on possibility. They stack the odds against reconciliation, planting seeds of fear, doubt, and despair.

To Hurting Couples

If you are a betrayed spouse who has heard words like these, please know this: those statements do not define your marriage, your partner, or your future. Healing is already a difficult road; you do not need to carry the unnecessary burden of a clinician’s personal bias or careless remark.

Yes, betrayal trauma is real and life-altering. Yes, rebuilding trust is one of the hardest journeys any couple can face. But no one—no therapist, coach, or leader—has the authority to declare with certainty that your marriage is doomed or that your spouse is incapable of change. Growth and restoration are possible. I have witnessed them time and time again.

For the betraying spouse: careless words from a professional may have made you feel hopeless or beyond redemption. Do not believe that lie. If you are willing to do the hard work—facing your brokenness, developing emotional maturity, and learning to engage with empathy—you can change. You are not defined by your worst mistakes.

To Professionals

We must remember that our words mean things. Every statement we make has the potential to either breathe life into a hurting couple or drive the wound deeper.

We are not prophets. We are not judges. We are guides on a very painful journey. Yes, it is our duty to speak truth, and at times that means naming destructive patterns clearly—especially if abuse or manipulation is present. But truth can be spoken without pronouncing hopeless verdicts.

I met with a client who had previously worked with a therapist widely recognized as a leader in the betrayal trauma field. Despite never meeting or speaking with the client’s partner, this therapist met only with the client and, after just a few sessions, declared: “Based on the information you’ve shared about your husband, I would say he is a full-blown narcissist.” Hearing this left the client devastated and hopeless about the future of her marriage.

We must avoid making broad assumptions about individuals we have not personally met. It is both unprofessional and unethical to evaluate a spouse’s character, intentions, or potential for change—regardless of whether we interact with them directly. Such practices violate our ethical responsibility to ‘do no harm’.

Why This Matters

I am writing this article because I am grieved by the additional pain that careless words inflict on couples already carrying unbearable anguish. Betrayed partners are desperate for safety. Betraying spouses often sit in shame and self-loathing. Both need careful guidance, steady truth, and compassionate direction.

When we as professionals speak with cynicism, despair, or reckless certainty, we risk crushing the fragile hope that may be the only thing holding a couple together. And when betrayed spouses internalize such comments, they may abandon hope before the real work of healing ever begins.

A Call for Care and Compassion

If you are a couple walking through betrayal:

  • Hold fast to the truth that healing is possible
  • Do not let someone else’s words define your journey; their story is NOT your story
  • Seek out safe people who will walk with you in truth and grace
  • Challenge serious claims made by professionals and ask for clarification of how they came to that assumption

If you are a professional:

  • Slow everything down and think carefully about what you say
  • Avoid assumptions and resist the temptation to make pronouncements about a marriage’s outcome
  • Speak truth with compassion, humility, and a recognition of the power you hold in someone’s most vulnerable moment
  • Be sure to keep your own biases out of sessions

Bottom Line

Words mean things. And when spoken to those dealing with betrayal trauma, words can either plant weeds of despair or seeds of hope. As professionals, we must never forget the power we hold. And as couples, you must remember: no single statement from another person has the right to determine your story.

Hope is real. Healing is possible. And while the journey is difficult, with care, accountability, and compassion, restoration can be pursued.

Eddie Capparucci is a licensed professional counselor in Texas and the creator of the Inner Child Model™ for treating addictive behaviors. He is the author of numerous book including Going Deeper: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction. He can be reached at innerchildmodel@gmail.com.