|Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you. – 1 Peter 5:7|
After I hit my own rock bottom, God gave me a choice: obey Him or don’t. No inbetween. I spent so much of my life skirting the edge, giving an overt nod to God in appearance but not in reality. When God brought me to the end of myself, He didn’t give me any wiggle room. My only options were to obey or not.
So I did. I disclosed all my junk. I started attending recovery meetings. I found a sponsor, began working the twelve steps. Actually went to counseling with a counselor who would hold me to my word, even when my word sucked. I recognized my powerlessness. Agreed that only God could restore me to sanity and then promised to turn over my life and will to Him. To obey.
Step four required that I take a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself. By doing so, I faced all my flaws, my defects of character, and my ingrained fears. I obeyed God by opening myself up to Him. So what now?
My counselor, Ken, drew a chart for me. A cross, actually. He put me right at the center, with my wife on the right and my kids on the left. He explained that God’s love for my wife and family flowed through me to them. When my vertical relationship with Him was broken, it negatively impacted my wife and kids. Damn, that didn’t feel good to hear. Ken reminded me to obey God and repair that vertical relationship. Only then would I see God’s impact on my wife and kids through me.
The inbetween time stunk. I had to build trust in Him, even when I couldn’t see the results or know the timing. After three years, I’m a work in progress. He didn’t take my character defects, fears, flaws all away. A lot of them remain, but some of them don’t. Some of them disappeared over time…my pride, selfishness, identity in my job. Others require me to trust Him and depend on His strength. Things like my economic insecurity, concern for my boys and their relationship with God, my deep seeded resentments.
Life for me continues inbetween…inbetween my obedience and His deliverance. In that time, in the now, my trust grows. Notice I said grows…not finished. Grows…still in progress.
How do you handle the inbetween? Do you trust Him without seeing the results? Have you decided to obey and develop trust later?
This week, Sean leads us in a message of the inbetween. Join us on Saturday in expectation of His deliverance on Sunday.
What to expect: We are a service of recovery and a community of hope. Expect impactful worship songs, a time of celebration and sharing of our milestones, and a testimony of spiritual awakening.
When: Every Saturday at 5:30 pm
Location: The Fellowship (in the Loft), 22765 Westheimer Pkwy, Katy, TX 77450
Childcare is available. Pre-notification is not necessary but is requested. For more information about childcare, email us firstname.lastname@example.org.
Give: We need your support! Give to the Prodigal. Use your smart phone and text your donation. Send a text to 28950, and type the keyword PROD, a space and the amount you wish to give. You will receive a text response for your name, address and account information for one-time registration. An email confirmation will be sent to confirm your donation. Next time, you simply send a text with the amount – and it’s complete.
Come home, prodigals! – Keith B.