By: Rob R
My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46)
And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” Matthew 27:46
Jesus’ first saying on the cross quotes the prophetic Psalm 21:1. As someone recovering from sex addiction, is now divorced due to that addiction, and who still fails with sobriety, I often “feel” forsaken by God. “O my God, I cry by day, but You do not answer; and by night, but I find no rest.” (Psalm 22:2) I have cried that many times in my “dark night of the soul.” Despite having spent hours in meetings and talking with brothers, I “feel” that “I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint; my heart is like wax; it is melted within my breast.” (vs. 14) I often “feel” so alone, so hopeless. But God! He gives me sight to see a spark of hope–in a Bible verse, or with a friend. And so, “I will tell of Your name to my brothers; in the midst of the congregation, I will praise You.” (vs. 22) Because of recovery, I now talk often about the facts of God’s grace in my life. The more I talk to the Father, the less shame I carry, and the more I know that God has never forsaken me. In truth, the only one who was every fully forsaken by God was the One who was forsaken in order to bring me to the Father. Ultimately, I have peace that passes all understanding when I realize “He has not despised or abhorred the affliction of the afflicted, and He has not hidden His face from him, but has heard, when he cried to Him.” (vs. 24) Thanks be to God for the indescribable gift and grace of His Son, whose death and resurrection assure that one day I will be completely free of my sin and shame.