CASTIMONIA

Sexual Purity Support & Recovery Group

Emotions

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New Castimonia Meeting in Columbus, TX

I am humbled to announce that we will officially be starting a new Castimonia meeting on Monday mornings at First Baptist Church in Columbus, TX on March 30th!  This is our first meeting located outside of the general Houston area and also our first morning meeting.
Location information is written below.
Beginning March 30, 2015
Monday Mornings
Time: 6:00AM – 7:30AM
Location: First Baptist Church
1700 Milam Street
Columbus, TX 78934
979.732.6261
This meeting should help those that live West of Katy/Sealy who may not have the opportunity to travel 2 hours round-trip to a Castimonia meeting.
Praise be to God, the father of our Lord Jesus Christ, for all He has done to grow His ministry!

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Porn Addiction Leads Teen to Heinous Murder

http://www.worldmag.com/2013/12/porn_addiction_leads_teen_to_heinous_murder
Originally posted December 2013

A Colorado judge last week sentenced an 18-year-old boy to spend the rest of his life in prison for kidnapping, sexually assaulting, murdering, and dismembering a 10-year-old girl. How could the then-17-year-old commit such a heinous crime? It all started with pornography, he said.

Austin Sigg knew he was in trouble when he was just 12 years old. He wrote a note to his Christian therapist, saying, “I have an addiction to porn and would like it to stop,” according to court documents released after the sentencing and reviewed by The Denver Post. But instead of getting better, his addiction grew worse as he watched increasingly violent porn. Sigg’s mother sent him to therapy in 2008 when she found child pornography on his computer. But he returned to pornography after the counseling stopped.

Sigg lived with his mother in Westminster, Colo., in the Denver metropolitan area. A mile away lived Jessica Ridgeway, a fifth grade student and peewee cheerleader. On Oct. 5, 2012, Jessica didn’t come home from school. For two weeks, police, emergency workers, and more than 1,000 volunteers searched the fields and highways near the neighborhood. All the news channels showed Jessica’s picture, along with pleas from her family for her safe return. But Jessica was already dead by the time her mother called 911.

As she walked to school that morning, Sigg hid in the back seat of his Jeep. He lunged from the vehicle as she passed by, tied her arms and legs with zip ties, and threw her in the backseat. He took her to his home where he cut her hair, made her change clothes, and assaulted her in his bedroom before choking her with his bare hands. When he wasn’t sure if she was dead, he filled a bathtub with scalding water and plunged her face under. Sigg dismembered her body in the bathtub, hiding some body parts in the crawl space under his house.

On Oct. 23, 2012, police received a call from Sigg’s mother, saying he had confessed to killing Jessica. Authorities were shocked: They thought they were looking for an adult male due to the atrocity of the crime.

“I couldn’t believe it [was a teenager],” prosecutor Hal Sargent told The Denver Post. “We wondered if it was a mistake.” But DNA evidence tied Sigg to Jessica’s remains, and his descriptions of Jessica’s mutilated body were too precise to ignore. Sigg eventually pleaded guilty to all the charges against him.

As The Denver Post revealed the details of Sigg’s porn addiction, the level of his desensitization to sex and violence became clear.

“[The porn] started getting worse and worse and more violent things … as things got more violent it was such a slow progression of the step up, that … I don’t even know if I realized it was getting harder,” Sigg told a detective. He told police killing Jessica was “the result of acting out his sexual fantasy.”

“Whatever forces have made Austin Sigg who he is, he is broken,” Sargent said. “The only way to protect the community from him is to keep him confined forever.

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It really is that simple

by Samantha Baker

My husband has a new job, he’s out of the restaurant environment.   This is a good move, ultimately.  He’s now supervising a kitchen at the regional jail.  So, working with inmates.  He has to go through special training to work with the inmates, obviously.

I was looking through his handbook material the other day and came across this:

Manipulation is all about emotions.  Some offenders will try to manipulate you, “playing on your” emotions.  The chart below lists emotions often used by offenders to manipulate others…and appropriate responses you can use to respond, should you find yourself in such a situation.

Flattery Offender:  “Your the best staff I have.” Response:  “Thank you, but lets stick to the task at hand.”

Empathy Offender:  “My sister died of cancer; I know what you’re going through.” Response:  “My personal life is none of your business, let’s stick to the task at hand.”

Sympathy Offender:  “I don’t have any family or friends and it’s tough being locked up.” Response:  “Your personal life is none of my business, let’s stick to the task at hand.”

Helplessness Offender:  “You’re the only one that can help me through this.” Response:  “Let’s get back to the task at hand, you need to see your counselor about personal issues.”

Confidentiality Offender:  “I trust you, so don’t tell anyone or I’ll get into trouble.” Response:  “I don’t keep secrets, so what ever you tell me, I will tell my supervisor, let’s stick to the task at hand.”

Isolation Offender:  “They treat you like an XXXXX.” Response:  “That is none of your business, let’s stick to the task at hand.”

Touching or Sexual Reference Offender:  “I’m so sorry about that, I didn’t mean to do that, I apologize.” Response:  “WHOA WHOA WHOA!  You are not to touch me ever.  I’m telling my supervisor and you are being written up for this.”

Now…a little tweeking and boy could this be for ANY work environment, especially my husband and his affairs since all of his affairs were with employees.  Hell, my husband WAS THE OFFENDER as well as the giving INAPPROPRIATE responses when he received the manipulation tactics.  I’ve felt often that he used “techniques” to groom his AP’s until they then came on to him.  Now, even more so.

He’s still working on himself, his boundaries, etc.  He’s come a long way, but I still see room for improvement in that he needs to be hyper aware of boundaries.  Not get complacent.

This make it seem so simple, yet why was it so hard for him to not have boundaries?  How was it so easy to repeatedly step over boundaries on a daily basis and put himself into situations where affairs were possible?

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Conquering our Fear – VIDEO

I recently watched “After Earth” and I thought it had some deeper recovery-related gems.  For those that don’t know much about this movie here is a summary from Wikipedia:

In the future, an environmental cataclysm forces the human race to abandon Earth and settle on a new world, Nova Prime.

One thousand years later, the United Ranger Corps, a peacekeeping military commanded by General Cypher Raige, comes into conflict with alien creatures who intend to conquer Nova Prime. Their primary weapons are the Ursas: large, blind predatory multi-limbed creatures that hunt by sensing pheromones the human body secretes when scared (they literally smell fear). The Rangers struggle against the Ursas until the impassive Cypher learns how to completely suppress his fear, in effect becoming invisible to the Ursa—a technique called “ghosting.” After teaching this to the other Rangers, he leads the Ranger Corps to eventual victory.

In watching this movie, I picked up on  the recovery-related theme.   The subtheme I saw in this movie is that of fighting through and conquering our fears.  This resonates with me in recovery in that I tend to medicate my fear of the unknown with unhealthy activities, even compulsively watching television or sports.  There are a number of fears in my life but one of the things that I have become present to over the last few years is that fear is not real and this is stated clearly in one of the scenes of this movie.  For me, I have to understand that fear is simply Future Events Appearing Real, which means I am afraid of something that has not occurred or may never occur!  I hope this movie helps you with any fears you may have.

As always, take what you like and leave the rest.
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Vince Lombardi on Emotions

“I’m a highly emotional man, I’m quick to tears and I’m quick to praise and I’m quick to all of those things.  I think anyone who tries to hide their emotions, I think makes a mistake.  I think you’ve got to do things according to your own personality.  This is all part of what ever little bit of success I’ve had too.  I think this is most important.” – Vince Lombardi