Posts Tagged ‘masturbation’

If you suffer from chronic anxiety and worries, chances are you look at the world in ways that make it seem more dangerous than it really is. For example, you may overestimate the possibility that things will turn out badly, jump immediately to worst-case scenarios, or treat every negative thought as if it were fact. You may also discredit your own ability to handle life’s problems, assuming you’ll fall apart at the first sign of trouble. These irrational, pessimistic attitudes are known as cognitive distortions. Although cognitive distortions aren’t based on reality, they’re not easy to give up. Often, they’re part of a lifelong pattern of thinking that’s become so automatic you’re not even completely aware of it. In order to break these bad thinking habits and stop the worry and anxiety they bring, you must retrain your brain. Start by identifying the frightening thought, being as detailed as possible about what scares or worries you. Then, instead of viewing your thoughts as facts, treat them as hypotheses you’re testing out. As you examine and challenge your worries and fears, you’ll develop a more balanced perspective. Stop worry by questioning the worried thought: – What’s the evidence that the thought is true? That it’s not true? – Is there a more positive, realistic way of looking at the situation? – What’s the probability that what I’m scared of will actually happen? – If the probability is low, what are some more likely outcomes? – Is the thought helpful? How will worrying about it help me and how will it hurt me? – What would I say to a friend who had this worry? By Melinda Smith, M.A., Robert Segal, M.A., and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D.

“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened.” – Mark Twain

Merimnao has created a tool to help assess our level of anxiety.  This is only a tool to be used for self-assessment, not diagnosis.  Please download the tool via this link to work the self-assessment.

Anxiety Assessment Tool
The Merimnao Anxiety Assessment Tool

Aug 15, 2013 12:06 PM CDT

Sep 14, 2013 12:41 PM CDT

By DeAnn Smith, Digital Content Manager
By Dave Jordan, News Reporter

KANSAS CITY, MO (KCTV) -Kansas City FBI agents have scrutinized allegations that an online relationship led to Councilman Michael Brooks being blackmailed into getting city tax dollars for a community event that never occurred.KCTV5 has learned that the FBI has investigated the situation, and the case remains open. The FBI is expected to step up its review, as Brooks acknowledged overnight a blackmail attempt, but maintains the FBI investigation has nothing to do with his handling of the controversial event. Brooks said to say otherwise was just “lies.”Brooks is a married father of four and a Baptist minister.He told reporters he went to the FBI to report a blackmail attempt by the woman he had a salacious online relationship with.

He said he has spoken to FBI agents about her attempt to blackmail him, and could not comment in detail because it’s an open case. He said the woman he was involved with tried to extort $60,000 from him. He said they both exchanged lurid pictures.

“The involvement with the lady was a mistake. I’ve apologized to my family. I’ve apologized to my church. I’ve apologized to the council people, and I’ll apologize to the public now on camera,” he said.

In a letter he released Wednesday night, Brooks admitted to his council colleagues that he had an inappropriate online relationship with a woman and he apologized for it.

But Brooks insisted that relationship and her blackmail effort had nothing to do with the city funding issued last fall to bring boxer Floyd Mayweather Jr. to Kansas City to speak to at-risk youth. That event fell apart, and Mayweather never came and a substitute speaker was not found.

“I want to apologize for the horrible lack of judgement concerning my involvement with this lady. It was a terrible mistake and totally out of line,” the Baptist minister wrote.

Allegations involving an inappropriate sexting relationship have swirled around Brooks for a year. Brooks acknowledged that there was an attempt to blackmail him over his relationship, but maintains that effort had nothing to do with his handling of the Mayweather event.

“As I have stated before, there is absolutely no connection between her blackmail attempt, and the Mayweather event,” Brooks declared.

The Kansas City Police Department investigated the allegations, and forwarded the case file to Jackson County Prosecutor Jean Peters Baker. Earlier this summer, Baker determined she would not pursue any criminal charges and closed the case.

Thursday morning, KCTV5 asked Mike Mansur, spokesman for Baker, whether the case remains closed. He said the office would have no comment Thursday, but suggested “check back Friday.”

Brooks urged City Manager Troy Schulte to issue a city  check for $15,000 for what he called “seed money” to bring Mayweather to Kansas City.

Brooks said he asked Schulte for the funding, which went to youth group leader Ossco Bolton of the group P.O.S.S.E. In June, Brooks flatly said he did not do anything to “twist” Schulte’s arm and that this type of request was routine at City Hall.

He said he made clear to Schulte that if he couldn’t find the money that he understood, but he said they both agreed it was a good event.

But Schulte was unaware that Mayweather had battered a woman, which the boxer later admitted to. Once that came to light, the event fell apart.

Bolton traveled to Las Vegas on taxpayer expense in an attempt to line up Mayweather. Bolton spent thousands of dollars on travel, entertainment, security and other expenses related to the event. But the Kansas City Police Department found he also spent some of the money on personal expenses, including clothing, movies and fast food.

Bolton never got anyone to replace Mayweather and the event was never held. The city has been unsuccessful in its efforts to get the $15,000 returned.

Brooks has said that the $15,000 was just a start to get someone of Mayweather’s caliber to come to Kansas City.

Ron Hunt, who worked with Bolton in seeking the money, was out of his regular job as of Thursday.

Hunt had worked for the past 9 months as an outreach specialist for the Full Employment Council. Clyde McQueen, president and CEO for the council, said he could not say whether Hunt was no longer with the FEC because of the Brooks controversy, but did confirm Hunt’s employment ended effective Thursday.

Brooks spoke to reporters as the City Council met Thursday. Brooks is a pastor at Zion Grove Missionary Baptist Church.

“I just want to take this opportunity to offer my apology jeopardizing your trust, and for disrespecting my position,” Brooks said in his letter to his council colleagues. “This is now a private matter between my wife, my family and the church, and we will handle it accordingly. Asking for your prayers.”

Bolton has maintained that nothing inappropriate occurred in him trying to get funds for the Mayweather event. Both Bolton and Brooks have made positive remarks about each other.

Bolton said last year that he tried to reschedule the event or get a substitute leader such as Mayweather’s father to head up the event in early 2013.

More than 300,000 attempts were made to access pornographic websites at the Houses of Parliament in the past year, according to official records.

The revelations will be awkward for David Cameron who has demanded that internet service providers do more to stop children viewing inappropriate content

MPs, peers and staff at the Houses of Parliament have tried to access ‘adult’ websites using their work computers 309,316 times over the past year, according to official figures.


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“As long as we believe that someone else has the power to make us happy then we are setting ourselves up to be victims”. One of the biggest problems with relationships in this society is that the context we approach them from is too small. We were taught that getting the relationship is the goal. It starts in early childhood with Fairy Tales where the Prince and the Princess live happily-ever-after. It continues in movies and books where “boy meets girl” “boy loses girl” “boy gets girl back” – the music swells and the happy couple ride off into the sunset. The songs that say “I can’t smile without you” “I can’t live without you” “You are my everything” describe the type of love we learned about growing up – toxic love – an addiction with the other person as our drug of choice, as our Higher Power. Any time we set another human being up to be our Higher Power we are going to experience failure in whatever we are trying to accomplish. We will end up feeling victimized by the other person or by our self – and even when we feel victimized by the other person we blame our self for the choices we made. We are set up to fail to get our needs met in Romantic Relationships because of the belief system we were taught in childhood and the messages we got from our society growing up. There is no goal to reach that will bring us to happily-ever-after. We are not incomplete until we find our soul mate. We are not halves that cannot be whole without a relationship. True Love is not a painful obsession. It is not taking a hostage or being a hostage. It is not all-consuming, isolating, or constricting. Believing we can’t be whole or happy without a relationship is unhealthy and leads us to accept deprivation and abuse, and to engage in manipulation, dishonesty, and power struggles. The type of love we learned about growing up is an addiction, a form of toxic love. As long as our definition of a successful relationship is one that lasts forever – we are set up to fail. As long as we believe that we have to have the other in our life to be happy, we are really just an addict trying to protect our supply – using another person as our drug of choice. That is not True Love – nor is it Loving. By Robert Burney

“You have no control over what the other guy does. You only have control over what you do.” - A. J. Kitt

Codependents usually haven’t experienced enough sense of mastery in their lives to give them a life-long sense of competency and strength. They are lost and confused. They are looking for someone to give them direction. They just haven’t quite found their true place in the world yet. They are usually in the wrong place, with the wrong person, at the wrong time for the wrong reasons. When a Codependent starts a romantic relationship they tend to put too many eggs in that one basket. They invest their whole lives in a guy (girl) who ultimately turns out to be an addict, a betrayer, a little boy (a little girl), a rager, a controller, weak, lost, little, and otherwise not coming as originally advertised. Codependents have big hearts – too big. Codependents get lost for decades in the meeting of others needs while ignoring what their own hearts were trying to say to them. They are rest starved, fun starved and inspiration starved. They need to learn to be selfish in a healthy way. They are parched ground lacking in color and joy. The roots of Codependency are always in childhood. Controlling, critical, abandoning, abusive and shaming parents and caretakers inflict the wounds in the tender psyches of children that result later in life as the low self-esteem, powerlessness, voicelessness, other centeredness, low entitlement, passiveness and depression that we correctly call Codependency. Many times this damage can seem subtle during the childhood itself. If it is all that you have ever known then what do you have to compare it to? In a healthy family children and teenagers are encouraged to have a voice. They are encouraged to speak up and make their cases. That is a skill that they will need in relationships, in school and on the job down the road. In a healthy family a child gets the focus and the attention and the care that they need. The focus isn’t on dad’s alcoholism or mom’s depression. The parents have the ability to really be there for the kids consistently. Parents can give praise directly to the children and they are lavish with it. Home is a safe and a predictable place. The child does not have to grow up too quickly. They can just focus on being a kid. They don’t become the emotional caretakers of their parents. The message a Codependent gets growing up is that they aren’t quite good enough. They don’t quite rate dad’s attention or his time. They don’t quite measure up to mom’s expectations. They need to try harder. They need to eliminate the self and anything positive that the self could have done for them. They need to live for others. From “Codependency – A Serious Disease of Lost, Confused, Undeveloped and Other-Centered Selves” by Mark Smith

“If you’re not comfortable enough with yourself or with your own truth when entering a relationship, then you’re not ready for that relationship.” –  Steve Maraboli

Polish police claim hooker ‘knowingly spread HIV’ as she served clients close to Irish supporters base

By Declan Ferry-IM
25 Jul 2013 09:40

A prostitute with HIV has been arrested for bedding thousands of men – including Irish fellas – during Euro 2012.

The hooker, who is known as ‘********** ******’, was working in Gdynia where the Irish team trained and about 10 miles from the Irish fans’ base in Sopot.

The 28-year-old vice girl, who also advertised under the name **** ******** and ********, is set to face trial over having unprotected sex with clients even thought she knew she was HIV positive.

Police spokeswoman Beata Gora said: “She accepted around 10 clients a day, all the while knowing she was infected.

“Multiply them over the years and that’s an enormous number of men who could have been infected.”

Cops said the woman had been under surveillance for some time before her arrest and that she offered traditional sex, along with more adventurous activities.

Fellow sex workers tipped off cops about the woman over fears that her actions would give prostitutes a bad them.

But officers only arrested her after two of her clients came forward and admitted they had tested positive for HIV.

Ms Gora said: “Due to the sensitive nature of the case we will not be disclosing personal details of the accused.

“I can only say that the suspect is a woman, and that she has been charged with knowingly spreading HIV.”

A Dublin-based sexually transmitted disease expert has warned soccer fans who played away from home at Euro 2012 to get tested.

Dr Derek Freedman said: “If people were in that area and had unprotected sex with a prostitute then I would urge them to get tested.

“What we are afraid of is people presenting themselves when it is too late. The risk of transmissions is greatest during the first year.”