Posts Tagged ‘masturbation’


July 10, 2013 — Craig T. Owens

I’m a techy guy: I love every time I can integrate a new gadget into my daily routine. I’m also a learner: I love the almost immediate access I can get to dictionaries, encyclopedias, histories, biographies, books and other study materials online.

But there is a huge danger lurking in all of this technology—PORNOGRAPHY.

Check out this infographic that Best Counseling Degrees put together…

teens-online-infographic

Click for a larger view

Here’s the important thing to remember for anyone on the web, but especially for those of us who are parents: Pornographers are hunting for your kids. Porn is not passively waiting for someone to find it. The pornographers are finding more and more aggressive ways to get your kids hooked on their intoxicating drug.

One of the most heart-wrenching statistics I’ve heard recently comes from Josh McDowell, who reports how many people who are now addicted to porn, saw it accidentally for the first time. In other words, they weren’t looking for porn, but porn was looking for them!

Parents, we must confront this atrocity head-on:

  • Talk to your kids. Now! If they know how to get on the internet, they’re old enough to hear about what porn is and why they must avoid it.
  • Check out the helpful resources that Josh McDowell offers at Just One Click Away, or the resources at uknowkids.com.
  • Install a monitoring application on all your web-enabled devices. I like to use X3 Watch.
  • Set limits on how much online time is acceptable, and establish a time each night when all electronic are turned off (this goes for you too, Mom and Dad!).

The Bible says that the devil prowls around like a lion. One of the places he stalks freely is the online digital world. Parents, watch out and keep your kids safe!


by Push4Bone

Some people in the health-related subject or philosophical world do not uncover anything at all dangerous with masturbation as it does not harm other individuals. Masturbation does give short phrase gratification, but it also causes moral decay and spiritual destruction.

If you want to free oneself of the debilitating chains of masturbation, evaluation the recommendations beneath to aid you get back again on the right path.

one)You are a special and exclusive individual. Individuals who often succumb to masturbation see them selves as weak and vulnerable. Do not fall prey to these self-defeating perceptions. Performing so would only make you give you an excuse to keep on doing it. Feel that you are strong and powerful and have control in excess of your steps.

two)You have free of charge will and can pick your route and route. Do not really feel overpowered by your sexual urges and needs to satisfy these sexual pangs. You can select not to be overtaken by fleshy needs. If you truly feel powerless, the far more you would locate justification to self-stimulation and the deeper you would drop into addiction. Exercising restraint by channeling your energies to optimistic steps and endeavors. The more you do this, the less difficult it would be to combat off temptation.

three)Realize that you are not an isolated scenario and are not the only one particular who is having difficulties with this type of dependency. Reach out to other people and confide with them your fears and anxieties. Uncover power and convenience from nicely-that means friends and colleagues. When you offload your psychological stress to caring folks, you start off to comprehend your errors. When this transpires, the road to recovery lightens up and you feel much more determined to rehabilitate and reinvent by yourself.

Addiction to masturbation can be conquered. Educate and inform oneself of the perils of self-stimulation and free of charge yourself from the suffocating chains of self-indulgence. Read relevant resource supplies and speak to sincere and experienced people who can help you realize your own correct well worth.

A personalized lookup by means of the Bible for a solitary looking through on my topic-masturbation I must say was a little bit disappointing because I identified none to my shock. To me, I believe the Bible’s silence on the subject matter is a  Masturbation – The Pros and Cons little bit odd because it goes a prolonged way to converse plainly on other sexual matters such as fornication, adultery and even sexual intercourse with animals. James McCary, creator of Human Sexuality has discovered that about 95% of men and amongst 50 and 90% of females Masturbation – A Christian’s Perspective  masturbate. Also, is the concern of the ‘singularity’ of masturbation. It is accurate that it can deliver some kind of pleasure even though orgasm, but it should nevertheless be described that this forms only a modest part of the bigger complete of sexual intercourse for that reason making it a selfish act. This could direct to extremely critical consequences of obsession, guilt, self-hatred and idolatry in the extended operate.


Posted on July 8, 2013 by maqilrahil96

Here is a FEW symptoms of addictions to pornography and masturbation addictions based on my own experiences and research which all i have experienced.

  • Losing high amounts of energy (becoming sluggish, lazy, sleepy etc.)
  • Caring less of other things that you would normally care about.
  • Spending more time alone with pornography or masturbating than doing regular activities.
  • Isolating yourself and becoming attached to the environment in which you masturbate and watch porn.
  • Having more than frequent mood swings for usually the littlest things and not bigger things.
  • Talking less with people, becoming anti-social, very quiet, scared to communicate, etc.
  • Becoming more ‘violent’
  • Experiencing decreased depression.
  • Feeling guilty or horrible after viewing porn/masturbating.
  • No ability to focus.
  • Memory loss
  • Feeling less aroused and/or interested with the opposite sex in reality.
  • Negative minded thought consisting of sex and/or unwanted thoughts.
  • Having eye troubles.
  • Body pains.
  • No desire for your past desires but instead desire things that you don’t like.
  • Unable to think, process thoughts, having a corrupted mind.

For those men who have been sexually abused as a child, I encourage you to attend our Barrayo meeting on Tuesday nights in Sugar Land.  Please contact Barrayo@merimnao.org for more details.

cut-the-stringsThe more you face the truth, the angrier you will probably become. You have a right to be angry about being sexually abused. You have a right to be angry with the perpetrator, regardless of who it was, how long ago the sexual abuse occurred, or how much he/she has changed. From “The Right to Innocence” By Beverly Engel

“I’ve tried to cut it out, to starve it out, to purge myself of this inherent evil he rubbed off on me. I’ve tried it all; pills and booze, food and lack of food, bruises, cuts and burns. My mind’s shut down, refusing to remember. My emotions have gone on leave, and despite all this, I can still feel the darkness inside me, lingering and waiting to engulf me again.” - From “Power” A poem by Caiti Le


For those men who have been sexually abused as a child, I encourage you to attend our Barrayo meeting on Tuesday nights in Sugar Land.  Please contact Barrayo@merimnao.org for more details.

abused-boy

Survivors of childhood sexual abuse may experience a range of emotions and effects that impact many aspects of their adult lives:

Anger ,Shame, Guilt, Depression, Anxiety, Denial and minimizing, Difficulty in trusting others, Sexual difficulties, Difficulties with relationships, Flashbacks, Memory disorders, Self-blame and self-doubt, Physical health problems, Eating disorders, [and] Substance abuse. Any or all of these aftereffects can combine to produce feelings of depression, isolation and hopelessness. All of these feelings and reactions are normal responses to traumatic experiences. Acknowledging the pain can be the first step in working through the abuse. You deserve support in healing from childhood sexual abuse. You have the right to be believed and listened to, and to express your feelings about the abuse.

Remember:

• You are not alone, and you can get help finding support for all of the ways that childhood abuse impacts your life.

• Local rape crisis centers have information on how to begin healing from your trauma. You can talk to someone over the phone or the center may offer individual counseling and support groups to assist you on the path to recovery. They can offer you referrals for social services or for legal help, too.

• There are many ways to heal from childhood abuse. A counselor can help you create a healing plan that meets your individual needs.

• Help is also available for the important people in your life. Your spouse or partner, friends, family members, children or others may want to seek information so that they can understand your needs and challenges.

• There are people who will listen to you, who understand, and who will help you on your recovery path. You are not alone.
http://www.miamidade.gov/police/victim-adult-victims.asp

“The most important thing in defining child sexual abuse is the experience of the child. It takes very little for a child’s world to be devastated.” - Laura Hough


For those men who have been sexually abused as a child, I encourage you to attend our Barrayo meeting on Tuesday nights in Sugar Land.  Please contact Barrayo@merimnao.org for more details.

gty_boy_rear_view_jt_111120_wgThe sexual abuse of children spans all races, ages, ethnic groups and economic backgrounds. Sexual abuse means any kind of unwanted or inappropriate sexual behavior with a child, whether or not there is actual physical contact. Tragically, this kind of abuse is not rare; studies estimate that one in four girls and one in seven boys are sexually abused as children. Abusers can be family members, friends of the family, authority figures or strangers. It is impossible to tell if someone is an abuser by simply looking – they may be someone who is highly respected in society and who has a good reputation. Most child victims knew and trusted the people who abused them. Children are absolutely dependent on adults for their physical and emotional survival, and abusers have many ways of wielding this power over children. Abusers may use threats to coerce children, such as the threat of harm to them or their loved ones and withholding of love and affection. They may tell a child that he or she is special, that the abuse is a way to show love for the child, or that the child is responsible for the abuse. If you are a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, it is important to remember that no matter what you may have been told, the abuse was not your fault and you are not alone.

http://www.miamidade.gov/police/victim-adult-victims.asp


Today, couples face old temptations coming repackaged with a new, technological twist. Bob Waliszewski explores how married couples should preserve fidelity in the face of computers, anonymity and MySpace (Facebook).

by Bob Waliszewski

From the first relationship in the Garden itself, it’s clear spouses don’t always have their partner’s best interest in mind.

You know the story – the serpent tempted Eve who in turn coaxed Adam who was with her to bite into the forbidden fruit. Adam, of course, was Eve’s husband, her helpmate, her friend, her confidant. And yet, there’s nothing in the Genesis account that would indicate Eve struggled with her decision to involve Adam. Did she not care about him? Did she not love him? Certainly, but isn’t it interesting that “love” just wasn’t enough of a protection in this particular situation?

In a nutshell, Eve bit hook, line and sinker when the devil convinced her that the real reason God didn’t want her to eat the fruit was because he was trying to withhold from them something exceedingly good. In essence, the serpent was calling God a liar. All of a sudden Eve went from someone completely vested in her husband to one who contributed to his downfall (which is not to say Adam didn’t have the responsibility for his own actions).

It doesn’t take a degree in Marriage and Family to realize that husbands and wives have for thousands of years been making similarly selfish decisions, many with lifelong negative consequences. One thing that is different, however, is that in today’s world, couples face technologically-driven temptations along this line as well. Old enticements often come repackaged with a new twist using today’s computers and the anonymity that comes within cyberworld.

A MySpace (Facebook) World

Obviously, the Internet has introduced pornography into many, many homes. Although a huge problem, I want to focus on less obvious temptations affecting some marriages. For instance, the other day while doing research about social networking sites, I stumbled upon a MySpace profile that I’m sure represents untold thousands. Here was a man who described himself as married with several children. But he had built his entire online profile describing himself as some type of, well, I’ll use the term “sex-god.” He had posted photos of women in various sensual poses, often with very little clothing. In an online poll he had pasted into his site, he had asked sexually-oriented questions in inappropriate fashion.

I couldn’t help but wonder why a married man would do such a thing? Nor could I help but wonder what his wife or children would think if they discovered his secret online “life.” (Perhaps his wife does know, which presents a whole other set of problems). Because the Internet world is considered a private domain where the user can be anonymous, this man apparently felt safe to try and make himself out to be some sort of Casanova.

Whatever the reason, he’s certainly not alone. Just ask Sue Hoogestraat. According to an article in The Wall Street Journal, she was understandably upset when she discovered her husband had a virtual marriage in Second Life, a fictional cyberworld where online visitors participate in commerce, sex and relationships, and build their own imaginary world. Although Ric Hoogestraat had never met, or even spoken with, Janet Speilman, the woman who controlled her online character, the two constantly spent time “together” in cyberspace – eventually “marrying.” “It’s really devastating,” expressed Sue. “You talk to someone or bring them a drink, and they’ll be having sex with a cartoon.” Ric can’t understand why his wife would have a problem with his online escapades. In his mind, it’s all a big game. But is it?

The Dangers of Anonymity

Brad Paisley’s hit country single, “Online,” humorously describes a pudgy loner who boasts of chatting with several women online (or at least he thinks they’re women). As he chats, he claims to be taller and thinner than he actually is. Although the song intentionally pokes fun at how people can and do represent themselves via the anonymity of the Internet, it’s no laughing matter when a married person goes online intentionally looking for someone to fill a need that only his or her spouse should satisfy.

Some may argue that having an edgy social networking profile, carrying on online relationships and chatting within cyberspace is relatively innocent stuff because there’s no intention of really getting involved physically. I’d argue to the contrary. It’s not just getting involved physically that crosses the line, it’s the very desire to play around online in an area involving a certain amount of intimacy.

For some married individuals who feel under-appreciated and under-respected, the anonymity of the Web allows for a chance to flirt and pretend. What could be wrong with that? Dr. David Jeremiah, commenting about a list of “hedges” that individuals need to put up to guard their marriages, had this to say about flirting: “Never flirt, even in jest. Never flirt with someone other than your [spouse].” Of course, flirting used to be something that primarily occurred face-to-face. Not any more. Flirting can now take place through chat, text message, IM, online gaming and profiles. Still, Dr. Jeremiah’s advice is valid.

The Gift of Intimacy

The author of Proverbs offers incredible advice along these lines when he says: “Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well. …May you rejoice in the wife of your youth…may her breasts satisfy you always. …Why be captivated, my son, by an adulteress?” (Proverbs 5:15-20, NIV) Clearly, the writer is not referring to actual water but to the intimacy that occurs in marriage. Furthermore, this water is more than just the sexual aspect. It includes the closeness, the oneness and the entire sense of unity that a husband and wife can and do experience when they do things God’s way.

One of the greatest gifts the Lord ever gave us was the gift of intimacy. As described in the Bible, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh” (Matthew 19:5, NIV). Jesus added, “So they are no longer two, but one” (Matthew 19:6, NIV). It’s that oneness, that intimacy, that water that married individuals are called upon by marriage’s Creator to guard closely, pray about regularly and fight for diligently.

Copyright © 2008, Focus on the Family. All rights reserved. International copyright secured.

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“The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.” Gen. 2:25


Though there is overlap, husbands and wives tend to take two unique paths toward intimacy. It’s important to understand where they lead and that sometimes we may have to force ourselves onto them.

by Paul Coughlin

Accountability to another person about your visual and emotional infidelity can be helpful—but not as helpful as we like to believe. After a while, one husband told me, “It’s pretty easy to lie to the person who is questioning you. It’s so autonomous–how are they really going to know?”

Putting computers out in the open is helpful as well in order to break the power of autonomy. But what happens when no one is around to see you on that website or watching that soap opera? There is a more lasting approach: Addressing the reasons why a husband or wife would turn to someone other than their spouse when desiring sexual and emotional intimacy, then creating a realistic level of intimacy within your existing marriage.

As mentioned previously, virtual infidelity increases when we are lonely, in duress, angry or spurned. These are threshold experiences, portals toward infidelity but also intimacy since conflict can sometimes be intimacy in disguise.

Two Paths Toward Intimacy

Though there is overlap, husbands and wives tend to take two unique paths toward intimacy. It’s important to understand where they lead and that sometimes we may have to force ourselves onto them in order to create a stronger and co-mingled path toward intimacy.

Generally speaking, women prefer talking and thinking together as men prefer touching and other forms of physical togetherness. I was unaware of these distinctions for the first 15 years of my marriage and this ignorance lead to unnecessary heartache. When my wife would desire to sit down and talk and think with me about everyday matters, I did not understand just how important these activities were to her. I treated them like items on a To Do List—check them off and be done with them. I did not understand that like foreplay, she enjoyed talking and thinking together with leisure and creativity. I have since learned to force myself to slow down and to be a better listener, knowing that she finds pleasure in these experiences and her pleasure is important to me. Now I find pleasure in these activities as well, but they still are not my primary paths toward intimacy. I’m still, after all, a guy.

Likewise, some wives may at first have to force themselves to move in the direction of their husband’s path toward intimacy. This is not to say that wives do not enjoy touching and other forms of physical togetherness. It’s just that for some it isn’t their primary form of expression. So for some wives, this could mean going on more walks together or taking up an activity that requires touching, like dancing. It may mean making sex more creative and frequent than before.

Christians More Passive

No discussion about the intersection between sexual and emotional fidelity and contemporary Christianity is complete without addressing pervasive passivity. Studies show that people who attend church have a more passive personality than the population in general (one study has the discrepancy at 60% to 85%). Passivity is sometimes a manifestation of cowardice, which is a sin (Revelation 21:8).

Passive people are more prone toward addiction. And this is particularly damaging when it comes to virtual infidelity, an ideal hiding place for the passive personality. Here passive people have their needs placated but never truly met; sexual arousal and emotional titillation, but never tenderness, adoration, and a soulful repose. Here the passive do not have to undergo the challenging duty of standing their ground and stating plainly what they desire as normal human beings. Passive personalities prefer that their spouse guess as to what they really want, which is unfair, confusing and fertile soil for inevitable resentment. And most passive spouses behave this way because they are fearful. There is a great acronym for fear that is helpful when understanding this side of virtual infidelity: False Evidence Appearing Real. Many times, though we might feel very uncomfortable at first, the fact remains that many of our fears are unfounded. Many spouses are willing to at least try to help the person they love to have their needs met in their marriage.

Honest, Frank Explanations

So for some husbands, an honest and frank explanation of just how important sexual intercourse is to them is in order. Wives are not born with this knowledge and our culture rarely reveals it, so they need husbands to tell them how difficult it is for them to keep their thought-life pure without their wives’ help. Likewise for wives, an honest and frank explanation of emotional connection may be in order, and probably has been for a while. Both genders need help understanding each other’s inner regions, which are both similar and unique, and they need to express these truths without anger, sarcasm or contempt (eye-rolling is the most common expression of contempt). During such times, putting your thoughts on paper beforehand helps to keep them straight in our minds. It is the foolish spouse who does not heed and honor such a tender and powerful revelation of the soul.

Being sexual and emotional are normal, healthy and right in marriage. There is no good reason to apologize for either desire since both come from the good hand of God. Having both needs met in a realistic fashion is among the main reasons we marry in the first place. These facts help to give us the courage we need to talk about them without whimpering or yelling.

And finally, a word of warning for all of us who live in our hyper-sexualized age: Erotic and highly emotional experiences are not meant to be consumed with great regularity. Like all things deep and sacred, they are not designed to be on tap 24/7. They are powerful, too powerful it seems, for the human soul to regularly absorb, very much like radiation, which also possessed a mysterious capacity to heal and curse. These facts help to put our good desires in perspective during our age of virtual infidelity.

Copyright © 2009, Paul Coughlin. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. Used by permission.

Below is a wonderful opportunity to further our knowledge on sexuality and intimacy.  I encourage all of you to attend this conference.  Continuing education is a vital part of our continued recovery as well as in facilitating groups and helping others recovery from sexual purity issues.

2014 IACSAS National Redeeming Sexuality & Intimacy Conference

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Date: May 1 – 3, 2014
Location:

Embassy Suites Hotel – DFW Airport – South
4650 West Airport Freeway
Irving, TX 75062
Group Code: IACSAS
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